The Sword and Laser discussion

Full disclosure: I have decided to Lem this book at 22%. This had less to do with the book itself than with the fact that I’ve been struggling so much to keep on top of my reading that I’ve become super ruthless (hah!) at ditching anything which doesn’t grab me straight away.

Ok, so this book is similar to The Calculating Stars in some ways. However, one key difference is that Mary Robinette Kowal portrays her main character as very happily married. whereas here the MC, even before going AWOL and losing her memory, was having some difficulty with her marriage and (view spoiler)[ has an extramarital affair IN SPACE! (hide spoiler)].

I will freely admit that I personally find unhappy marriages and especially (view spoiler)[ adultery (hide spoiler)] uninteresting topics for books. I found Elma and Nathaniel’s relationship one of the most delightful things about The Calculating Stars, and that kind of joy is absent here. I also thought it a little strange how easily (view spoiler)[ Maggie just steps aside when Catherine comes home (hide spoiler)] although there may be more development later on that explains this.

What do y’all think? I’m especially interested to hear from anyone who’s finished the book how the central relationship turns out and what you think of it.

Ruth wrote: "Full disclosure: I have decided to Lem this book at 22%. This had less to do with the book itself than with the fact that I’ve been struggling so much to keep on top of my reading that I’ve become ..."

I felt pretty "meh" toward the central relationship. It didn't make me change my rating either for positive or negative reasons and seemed pretty typical. Later in the book, (view spoiler)[ the MC and her husband have a fight, the MC remembers what she did with with Tom, it's clear the husband has moved on to Maggie, the MC and her husband agree to get divorced, and the MC has another relationship with another coworker (hide spoiler)].

I was more invested in the NASA side of things than the relationships so I barely noticed that all of that was going on, and definitely wasn't rooting for any specific outcome. It seemed like the relationships were just in the book to showcase the erratic nature of the MC's behavior, and then to give her a place to work on the issue.

I thought the relationships were (mostly) handled maturely and realistically (for reasonably well adjusted people). I read this book very quickly. it usually takes me weeks to finish, but I found myself making time to listen and was done in about 3-4 days. Ending was a little goofy/rushed, but I liked it overall.

I wanted to stay invested in the mother daughter relationship my self. I'll also be the guy that says it. Why can't a husband and father be happy for his successful wife? I related more to the the Maggie stepping in part of the breakup. Back to the daughter, I love how she was used to solve the final problem, but if more time had been spent with the mother daughter as opposed to the expected spiral pattern I would have liked that more.

I agree that the mother/daughter relationship was well done, and I would have loved to see that developed some more. In general, I wonder if the book doesn’t try to do too much? Catherine’s relationships with her own mother and with her sister seem underdeveloped to me, and the new relationship at the end felt unpersuasive because it came up really suddenly.

I think part of it is the author chooses to only show what Catherine's perspective is in all of this, and she only sees her mother/husband/daughter in relation to how they are when she's around. I think we would have seen more conflict if we'd been inside the heads of the others, and maybe the author didn't want that to be the focus. But I have to say I thought a lot about how the others must feel.

Leesa wrote: "I thought the relationships were (mostly) handled maturely and realistically (for reasonably well adjusted people). I read this book very quickly. it usually takes me weeks to finish, but I found m..."

I agree with Jenny - the unhappy marriage and (view spoiler)[adultery in space (hide spoiler)] are central to the plot and handled well. The relational problems don't seem to be written with an agenda in mind, but rather to move the story forward and create the setting for the plot twists.

While the way Catherine handles many of the things she's going through makes me extremely frustrated, they still ring realistic to me.

David wrote: "...Why can't a husband and father be happy for his successful wife?..." Agreed. Maybe it's the inherent ego with astronaut types? This was the only aspect of their relationship I was skeptical of, since they were both astronauts when they met and their entire life was centered around the space program.

Relationships are complicated. Human emotions are complicated.

A man can be happy for his successful wife, while also being totally jealous of her success.

He can also be fully supportive of her decision to go and be pissed that she's deserting him and their daughter.

We all have that little devil on one shoulder and a little angel on the other (figuratively)

(view spoiler)[Their relationship was never going to work after she got back. He had already moved on. (hide spoiler)]

Tassie Dave wrote: "Relationships are complicated. Human emotions are complicated.

A man can be happy for his successful wife, while also being totally jealous of her success.

He can also be fully supportive of her ..."

I think Tassie Dave nailed it in the spoiler. If I know anything about relationship conflict, it’s that the wrong problems often get the focus. She’s really upset about the other thing.

I thought that the relationships were written pretty well.
(view spoiler)[I saw her getting together with her coworker coming from a mile away, but it didn’t bother me. (hide spoiler)]

Completely agree with Tassie Dave, Jenny and Ian

If you changed the situation in "The Calculating Stars" and it became an initial 6 year mission, do we think their relationship would still remain as stable as it was?