Horror Aficionados discussion

Hey Everyone!
I've recently decided to redo my book descriptions on Amazon. I've redone both of my full horror books and would love to get some feedback on them from fellow horror readers and writers before I post them to Amazon. Let me know what you think, Thanks!

#1:

Flesh is weak but wax is forever...
Would you enter a sinister-looking factory without knowing what awaits you on the other side?

Dmitri is brave and dares to find out. He and his friends tour the enigmatic building to liven up a school project. Along the way, strange things begin to transpire and the deeper into the building they go the more their lives may be in danger.

Gustav is the factory’s curator. He wishes to restore the place to its glory days. However, there’s something peculiar about him. Something the group can’t figure out but as time goes by it slowly unravels. Can Gustav reclaim the success that his great-grandfather once had? Will this be the perfect college project to die for?

The Wax Factory is the first novel in the thrilling Wax Factory Series. If you like chilling suspense, riveting horror, and walking into the unknown, then you’ll enjoy the first book in this dark and disturbing series.

Buy The Wax Factory today to tour a place that gets creepier after every page!

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#2
There may be gun and bar fights but this isn’t your daddies Western...
A town on the brink of doom. Desperate measures must be taken to prevent it from becoming a corpse-ridden wasteland. Will good or evil prevail in the end?

A town has been seized by a ruthless outlaw. Matters become worse when he cuts a deal with a mysterious stranger. The outlaw receives enhanced abilities but in the process is cursed and sell his soul.

It’s up to Emerson to stop him. A valiant young man with his own personal demons. With the town by his side, he’ll do whatever it takes to prevent it from becoming a walking ghost town, even if it means his own death...

A gruesomely gritty Western tale draped in darkness and soaked in carnage. Guns will be blazing, boots will get muddy and plenty of blood will be shed in this fast-action paced western of grit and gore.

Buy A Bloody Bloody Mess in the Wild Wild West to become part of the gunslinging action today!

You need to work genre key words into the description to increase your visibility on searches.

Graeme wrote: "You need to work genre key words into the description to increase your visibility on searches."

Noted, I would just need to figure out how to add those keywords whether it be replacing current words I already have or adding them(but not adding too much as it would then make the description too long.

I think I could cover most keywords in the last paragraph before the CTA.

I'll look into this. Thanks Graeme.

For #1, I have the say the description has me intrigued.

For #2, a little grammar-nazi-ing here - You mean to say "isn't your daddy's Western". And with "A gruesome western" also capital W. (possessive case and proper noun title).
Also "his side, He’ll do whatever" - should be "he'll".

Your best bet might be to buy a good grammar & spelling correction program. There are many problems with these descriptions, and so I am assuming that these problems are rampant in your novel. No offense, just a former English teacher trying to help.

Alan wrote: "For #1, I have the say the description has me intrigued.

For #2, a little grammar-nazi-ing here - You mean to say "isn't your daddy's Western". And with "A gruesome western" also capital W. (posse..."

Alan, thank you for pointing these out. Grammarly doesn't always pick up everything and in most cases we tend to miss our own small errors.

Karen wrote: "No offense, just a former English teacher trying to help"

Thank you, Karen.

English teachers rock!