Goodreads Authors/Readers discussion

I have a question that I would like to post to both readers and writers of romance. How do you feel about the description/use of birth control methods in a contemporary romance novel?

I have published 5 books, my sixth is due to release in December. My books are contemporary. My sex scenes are steamy, but I have never addressed the use of condoms or any method of birth control in my writing.

A friend has suggested that I should. Thoughts?

I've read quite a bit and most of the time protection is mentioned but not always, it depends on the story, characters and a readers imagination.

Personally I have put many heroines in the TSTL category for sleeping with heroes, known to be promiscuous, without any protection, no STI testing discussions in a contemporary romance or erotica. Especially if the heroines is being presented as a supposedly smart woman. It doesn't bother me if an acknowledgement of the foolishness of this is included somewhere in the story. If it's PNR/UF and it's explained diseases aren't possible, or historical it doesn't bother me that much.

I've been reading a lot of romance novels lately and I noticed that the majority of them do address birth control methods.

I did a blog post about this a while back on the Contemporary Romance Writers blog. Fun research!

(for the record, my heroes cover it up.)

http://contemporaryromance.org/2014/0...

Great blog post!

Almost all of the Contemporary mention birth control (even if it's the passing...I'm on the pill so we don't need to use a condom). I like it. It makes me feel that the characters are at least rational adults. The one exception I've seen is ParaRomance..but that's different I think.

Thanks, Tracey. It was inspired by a discussion on another Goodreads group. And it was fun to write. ;)

I am writing a novel set in 1863. And yes, one of the issues the characters wrestle with is birth control.

Honestly, I think it should be addressed if the sex if fairly explicit. I write m/m's just about exclusively, so birth control, per se, is not an issue, but condoms always get mentioned. Even if my characters are not using them, there's an on page discussion.

I read very little heterosexual romance, and it tends to either be sweet or I completely skip over the sex scenes so I couldn't tell you what the heck is going on there, but I occasionally read menage and condom use is almost always addressed.

I include it in my novels. I loved the TSTL comment above and I agree completely...but I still like to include informed consent as a part of my stories. If it is done right it flows with the story. No harm, no foul. A nod to the reality we live in.

An interesting question, Tracey. I write historical romance so had never really thought about it (although it's interesting that Brenda says that in the 19th century setting of her novel, the issue of birth control is addressed). I guess I view the whole area as inherently un-romantic and regard the whole point of romance as being to escape the un-romantic realities of life!

This how I talked about contraceptives in my historical fiction novel, Silk Legacy, set in the early twentieth century:

Sarah is pregnant with her sixth child and does not want another. She investigates birth control.

Contraceptives could not be sold through the mail or transported across state lines. And with many states passing their own version of obscenity laws, birth control devices were no longer sold over-the-counter. Still, condoms were available in the underground market. Cecelia told her Solomon wore one.

Even if she did break the law and ordered those “rubber goods for gents,” as they were clandestinely advertised, Abe would never wear one. And she was afraid to order chemical suppositories, vaginal sponges and medicated tampons touted as “married women’s friends.” She wasn’t about to put something like that inside her without knowing what it was.

Sarah had whispered her anxiety about continually getting pregnant to her doctor and asked, “Can you fit me with a ‘womb veil’?”

“I can’t, Sarah. I’m sorry. Comstock spies are everywhere. If they learn I even discuss birth control devices I could lose my license and possibly go to jail.”
******************
This is later in the book after Sarah finds out her husband is having an affair.

She reached out, opened the drawer in the bedside table and pulled out a condom. Holding it up so he could see, she said, “Abe, you have to wear this.”

“What for? You’re already pregnant.”

She hadn’t planned to confront him about his adultery this way. But was there ever going to be a good time? “I think you know why.”

He snatched the condom from her hand, threw it across the room and rolled onto his side, his back to her.

www.richardbrawer.com

With some of my characters I've addressed birth control in some way, shape or form, but generally I've always assumed my characters are smart enough to protect themselves, nor do they get involved with guys who are randomly promiscuous.

As a romance reader of many decades :) and mainly historical or Harlequin, in historicals it is ok not to mention it. With Harlequin's, if you don't mention it in the 21st century, then here is my assumption with both, as a reader:

In the 21st century, re: STD's, somewhere in the book there should be a mention that both partners are either lily pure or they get tested regularly and haven't had any shenanigans since the last time they got tested.

Either way, (Historicals or Harlequins) if birth control doesn't get mentioned, I assume they are pregnant, and am thrilled because I love secret babies. When a secret baby doesn't show up on my doorstep after awhile, and it is made clear there will be no secret baby, I am let down as a reader. As a writer, assuming you don't want to let down your readers, and have no plans for secret babies appearing, you might want them to wear protection. Readers have certain expectations.

Can't help it, that's just the way I'm made :)

One of my other pet peeves is bathroom breaks. Some writers totally forget that part, especially in Historicals and long journeys. There has to be a loo somewhere in the vicinity, or a short trip in the woods, and when the characters are physically together for 24 hours with no bathroom breaks, it makes the story seem unrealistic. And some writers write bathroom breaks really well, so it can be woven into the story realistically and with flair.

In contemporaries, I usually see birth control mentioned if the sex is shown explicitly. If birth control isn't addressed, I start expecting a pregnancy (something which isn't really my cup of tea, but I'll still finish the book). Personally, I would mention it, unless there's going to be a baby.

I believe some publishers have guidelines regarding safe sex in their books, so this is part of the reason many readers are used to it.

Wow. Good discussion. I guess if it's written in well, I don't notice it. I write it in, in fact, I just wrote in a 'pull out' in my scene. I've written condoms into my scenes. (There's usually something silly too, 'cause contraceptives can be funny.) A recent write has a pregnancy. Hey, consequences. There's always a discussion before, during, or after... I don't talk testing.

So, um, reading some of y'all's, I'm chuckling because my characters are all in the heat of things and I guess aren't always those responsible, smart sort of females. But in the real world not every act of unsafe sex results in something. So, if it's escapism, suspension of disbelief, even more so.

There are SOME books where I've been like, Ew, do you know where that penis has been????

Good discussion!

So, Tracey - what did you decide to do?

Thanks for your reader-insight into this, Helen. (I have been selecting pre-designed book covers recently and have been quite amused that so many romance novels must feature a pregnant heroine, as so many pre-designed book covers also do this!) But to be honest, the feminist in me usually resists going down the line of an accidental pregnancy - it just seems so clichéd and, thinking about it, it's men who've suggested that sort of development in a plot line to me.

I guess I like to think my heroines are in control of that aspect of their lives, in the way that modern women are. However, I realise that, writing historical romance, this is probably contradictory. But I justify it by telling myself that this IS historical ROMANCE - not historical fiction; it's supposed to be escapist!

And yes, Tracey, what have you decided!?

This discussion has been immensely helpful! Thank you to everyone for your comments! In previous books I usually wrote in a "pull out" so in that way I did address "birth control". In one book I mentioned the heroine's use of the pill. But I've never had the hero use a condom and I guess therefore have never addressed "safe sex". Most of the scenes are in the heat of the moment, not always in a bedroom and I found difficulty addressing where a condom would come from in many of those situations. However my beta reader really called me on it with this latest book. She said that consenting, intelligent adults do not have sex without at least addressing the issue. I agreed with regard to reality, but wasn't sure if it was necessary to address that reality in my writing. So I created this thread. It seems the overall consensus is that he needs to cover it up. Therefore I have rewritten my scenes to include it. I think I've succeeded in addressing it discreetly without the detailed description of it being put on but enough mention so that the reader knows it's being used. Thanks again for this fantastic feedback!

A little research will reveal to you historical methods of BC. (Somewhere I stumbled across a site that told you how to repair a condom, from those days when they were very expensive and were re-used. Something like patching a bicycle inner tube! But I have never been able to find the URL again.)
I do feel that a work set in the 21st century should bring the issue up explicitly. Earlier? Historical accuracy should win over all other considerations. I won't read a novel set in 1580 with a heroine who sounds like she was born in 1971.

The fun part is sticking to the historically correct -attitude- towards BC. Is it a sin? Does it promote male immorality and female concupiscence? Much useful angst could be had.

I write what would be appropriate to the social and cultural context the story is set in. If I wrote a historical romance, I would take into consideration the views at the time. How openly would such things be discussed? What about the double standards for the genders?

For me, safe sex discussions are pretty much an absolute, in contemporary romances unless: sex is only alluded to (fade to black,)the protagonists are married, or not sober, or are young enough to realistically be that stupid... Or if the story is set in an environment where it is a given that contraception is unavailable. You can't run to the corner drugstore if you are trapped on a desert island.

But unless I planned on addressing pregnancy, I would have the H PO. Otherwise it would nag in the back of the reader's mind.

Glad this discussion clarified things for you, Tracey. It certainly was enlightening.

If you go to the right historical period, the sexual ignorance was amazing. There are records of people who married for years, never figuring out how slot A goes into tab B -- they wrote to agony columns for help. And, because women especially were kept utterly ignorant (gives their pretty little heads ideas, otherwise) sometimes wedding nights were traumatic. There are records of brides committing suicide the following day.

And you don't need to go that far back, Brenda. In a review of my short WWII romance, a reader expressed incredulity at an incident where my heroine asks my hero whether they have had intercourse, but it was based on testimonies I found in research - so that was as recent as the 1940s!

Brenda wrote: "If you go to the right historical period, the sexual ignorance was amazing. There are records of people who married for years, never figuring out how slot A goes into tab B -- they wrote to agony c..."

Have a look at this:
http://uclhistoryofmedicine.wordpress... Dr Isaac Baker Brown
Or put his name, Isaac Baker Brown, into google and look at his wikipedia entry. Holy mackerel! By the greatest of good luck my current WIP is set in 1865. I think I have found my heroine's gynecologist.