Enemies-to-Lovers Recs discussion

Do you feel like enemies-to-lovers stories depict healthy relationships, or do they tend to fall into the dysfunctional category? Are there reasons why or why not you like the trope? Just starting points; let the conversation go wherever it takes you!

Depends. I'm not a huge fan of the love-hate trope, which is what enemies-to-lovers falls into. I think for enemies-to-lovers I prefer if the characters are on opposing sides and then come to realization that they actually have a lot in common (then their relationship grows from there). The love-hate trope can be funny, don't get me wrong and it is a thing that happens in real life, but I prefer for the characters to start to notice the things they have in common and then go from there.

(A bit of an addition to stuff in my intro if you've seen that)

Many of the so-called "enemies-to-lovers" tend to be toxic, forced, and/or not very well developed. Note that I say 'many,' not 'all.' As I said, I am open-minded if an example can be found that is well done. Personally, I just haven't found any.

To be fair once again, it's pretty hard to take two characters that essentially hate each other (though I guess some people here might say it's actually sexual tension) and put them together. It's definitely something that won't happen quickly, if it is to be done well. Basically, a chunk of one of their personalities needs to be changed; something that is a core part of any person.

One important quality I believe is needed in order for the trope to truly be done well is finding common ground. Zuko from the Avatar: Last Airbender series (not the terrible movie, obviously) is a great example of this working if he were to have entered a relationship with Katara. He had a well-developed redemption arc which spans most of the series. At first, he is trying to be redeemed in the eyes of his father by capturing the Avatar, but then he realizes the truth of what the Fire Nation stands for once he sees its effect on other people outside of it. He then tries to redeem himself to the Gaang for all the harm he has caused them and those close to them. If you don't follow, highly recommend you check this series out! It's very well-written as a whole!

That's not to say the hero can't turn to the enemy's side, but I feel that's harder to do well...or get good reception to in certain genres. The one it might work well in is horror since usually protagonists get corrupted or killed anyway. Something tells me that's something else, especially if supernatural means are used. I think what a lot of people are looking for here is for the change to happen naturally.

Anyway, discuss!

Okay, going to get pretty specific here :)

I've noticed that a lot of the stories I enjoy are told from the female perspective. I tend to prefer first-person POV, meaning the reader, as well as the protagonist, doesn't know what actually goes on in the Love Interest's head.

There's a female power fantasy aspect to a love-hate/enemies-to-lovers dynamic that really appeals to me. This does not necessarily mean the heroine is always the "good guy". Shades of grey fascinate me and are absolutely welcome.

The possibility of redemption, finding a way back from the darkest of places - if done well, I find these particular themes to be incredibly compelling. These kinds of stories give me hope.

I think the fantasy genre lends itself well to exploring what prejudice is all about or what being on the opposite sides of a conflict means, or how cruel a person can be to someone he/she doesn't understand, finds threatening (in more ways than one).

Darker themes in romance are tricky because there's no way I would be willing to experience IRL some of the things I've found myself drawn to or enjoying in fiction. But, ultimately, it's a safe space.

After all, we need a way to deal with our id.
What better way than through art and storytelling?

I agree! It is always difficult to find a good enemies to lovers story, sometimes they tend to be waaay too toxic or forced.