Fantasy Buddy Reads discussion

Hello! As our year comes to a close lets chat about our goals, reading or otherwise for 2020!

I've been thinking on mine, as always stress reduction and healthy coping habits are my biggest priority so I have some general as well as specific goals

-read at least one book per week. I used to read upwards of 100 books a year and I really miss it! As I feel healthier mentally and my children are more independent I'm hoping to get back into more reading as a relaxation tool
- spend alot more time in the FBR group and building some friendships here. No need to explain here, I've met lots of lovely souls here
-less "I should" statements and more "I will" statements
-continue my journey to physical health!

I understand the holidays can be a very hard time of the year for many, and if you see anyone who's feeling down please take some time to lift their spirits. You may be the only person who has done that in a very long time for them, and just one act of kindness can set someone on the right path. Thank you for being in Fantasy Buddy Reads, it is so nice to be able to chat with friends around the globe about books and life in general!

Marg

My main one is to continue losing weight. My GP got on me this year about my weight and blood pressure, and by the summer I really started to feel it, too... after years hovering around 350, I started going up and topped out at 378... am on 2 BP meds at the moment, but have lost 30-35 pounds in 4 months... the first 20 were easy (1 month)... I need to continue pushing, and actually go below 340 and stay there, and hopefully continue down to at least 300... haven't been that low since High School (nearly 15 years ago, now)...

That's me... less stressing about work would be great, too...

Oh, what a great topic! I've been absent from GR a lot this year due to personal problems, so my first goal would be, like Margret:
- spend more time in the FBR; there's a few conversations I had in this group that might seem meaningless to the people involved but actually gave me a lot! (I still have this collective letter/story some of you guys sent me, and I read it again whenever I'm feeling bad. Definitely one of my most treasured possessions).

My second goal would be, as you might have guessed, to continue focusing on my mental health. I talked about it just a bit here and there in various threads, but I have some seriously crippling social anxiety (and the depression that's facilitated by this issue). Mainly, my focus right now, as I'm indecisive about what I want to do/my carrier has gone to a standstill:
- focus on my qualities/abilities, and not on what I could do (in a ideal world) but am not doing right now. Basically: it's OK if I don't rush and try to do everything by myself; being able to rely on others is a strength, not a weakness.

One of the main goals I have thought about for 2020 is to tackle some of the series that I have started either before or around 2010. I had 10 years to finish them or catch up in them so I'm hoping the next 12 months brings some closer to them.

Also to try if I can to stick to books I own, I say this every year and every year I feel I end up reading more library books then ones I spent money on.

I know I'll think of more but so far bookwise that's two areas I'm focusing on.

Virginie wrote: "Oh, what a great topic! I've been absent from GR a lot this year due to personal problems, so my first goal would be, like Margret:
- spend more time in the FBR; there's a few conversations I had i..."

Working on that with Anni was definitely one of the highlights of the year :)

Margret- I've missed you being around here. it would be fantastic if you were able to spend more time in FBR.

Iain- Great job on the weight loss so far! You can do it!

Virginie- I've dealt with social anxiety off and on and I know how it feels.

Carrie- I've had the same issues with finishing series and reading books I've bought. The challenges in this group have really helped with those a lot.

I'm hoping to be more organized and productive in my personal life by planning ahead more. I also want to continue to keep up with the series I've been reading. I think I'll be down to only 8 open series by the end of the year. It took me 3 years. There were so many when I began that I can't even remember how many there were.

Tammie wrote: "I'm hoping to be more organized and productive in my personal life by planning ahead more. I also want to continue to keep up with the series I've been reading. I think I'll be down to only 8 open ..."

8?... is that just series you're behind on?... I couldn't imagine only having that many series still releasing books... I've got about 60 I'm still behind on, and hoping to get that number down to 25-30 by January/February, but I've got another 83 series that are all caught up... and of those 83 series, 40-60 release books on a regular basis, and the other 20-40 are more sporadic/delayed...

Finish all my TBR from this year and prior.
Finish all series from this year and prior if all are already published.
Stop requesting ARCs I actually am not that interested to read. ARCs = more unread books.
Think thrice before clicking to buy those Kindle deals.
Only go home with books in my TBR from physical book sales.
And of course stay away from negative people and try to be happier!

Silvana, I hear you when it comes to arcs and kindle deals. Not to mention the freebies.

I'm touched by your kind words, Margaret.

I'm no good at setting goals, especially for a new year, but I made myself a promise to achive at least 5 of them.

This year has been hard due to me being an introvert and I think I came to a sort of peace with it. I've ended a friendship that was sucking all the energy out of me and I found it really difficult to see that that person was not willing to fight for the friendship. She didn't even care to ask why she hadn't heared from me. So, back to having 1 friend in life.

I want to tackle my OCD and my insecureness too. It bugs me for years and I'm tired of having it.

More time for my hubbie and son. I know that they need and deserve it and that I need to put more energy in them.

More reading, but 1 book a week and not starting books and DNF them, unlles they're bad.

Being more structured in life and at home. The challenge is that I need structure, but I'm also chaotic. Great duo!

And being more active here in FBR. Sometimes it takes a lot of energy, but there are all fantastic people here that I would like to know better.

@Iain glad to hear it! I’m almost at the -40 lb mark myself, and I’m getting stronger every day lifting weights etc. sometimes I get frustrated in a plateau etc but then I pick up my daughter and think holy crap I’ve lost more than she weighs

To all the peeps focusing on mental health- keep it up, it gets much better. I think I’ve talked to Saar about this but when I became sick last year I had a friend tell me that there’s 3 major impact day to day (or even just multiple times a week) tasks you can do outside therapy to help yourself and that’s meditating, journaling, and exercise. Be your own advocate, because a lot of people will tell you that being anxious or depressed is just who you are now. But if you were ever mentally healthy then you can definitely get back there. It’s a really hard journey but you do gain a lot of knowledge.

For me I feel like I can finally sit and read because the lack of concentration made that very difficult, and the short term memory. Was shite

Thats a great idea Margret and really well said! I normally don't really do resolutions... For once because I'm quite bad at keeping long term goals and also because I'm actually quite happy with my life right now, so I don't need big resolutions :) I try to be the best person I can be everyday without stressing myself over it. Small goals instead of promising "next year I will do better". I sometimes catch myself thinking "I will do xy when I have the time", but deep down I know that I won't. Be it sport or cleaning duties or contacting a friend/ family member I haven't talk to for a while. So I think my everyday-resolution is to be openminded and kind and don't postpone too much :)
I really like to hear your resolutions tho, it's really motivating, good luck everyone, I hope you archive everything you want to! May 2020 be amazing for all of us! If you ever need someone to cheer you on or maybe motivate each other I would gladly try to help.




Virginie wrote: "I still have this collective letter/story some of you guys sent me, and I read it again whenever I'm feeling bad. Definitely one of my most treasured possessions"

Aww, that's vwry sweet of you :) I really happy you like it and as Iain said it was great fun!

Timelord Iain wrote: "8?... is that just series you're behind on?..." Yes that's just the ones I'm behind on. Everything else I either got caught up, completed, or abandoned.

Margret wrote: "@Iain glad to hear it! I’m almost at the -40 lb mark myself, and I’m getting stronger every day lifting weights etc. sometimes I get frustrated in a plateau etc but then I pick up my daughter and t..."

@Margaret: I still have your pm where you've talked about that and I realised one thing of the 3: I started taking karaté - lessons and that helps me focus more. It's something that gives me mental energy and it helps me keeping focus.

@Sir Anni: being the best person you can/the best version of yourself every day is the best thing you can do. Taking everyday as it comes and not living in the past/future. Living in the moment.

I remember a quote in Dutch and it's about like this: 'Do first the thing that is easy, then the more difficult thing and only then the impossible will go work too.'

@Iain: I know, loosing weight can be a struggle. In the beginning all goes well, but then it gets harder. I find it difficult to keep on eating healthy.

Yeah it makes a huge difference. Actually Scott told me right after I told the mod fam I was sick that exercise is his big coping mechanism. I trust that cause he could probably kick all of our asses collectively 😂

That being said I should probably work out now haha. We’ve had issues with gyms so I’ve had to switch to working out at home and... it’s a distracting place to be because all my sewing machines and fabric are down there

I tend not to make resolutions so I've been kind of avoiding this thread. But what the heck!

Bookish:
-Attempt to read more of my TBR :) But book sales are sooooo tempting lol
-Remind myself it's OK to DNF when I'm not enjoying something!

Workish:
-Try to stress less about the things outside my area of control.
-I'm getting bored in my current role. I've done the same or similar job for too long. I work for a huge company so there must be something else I can try out. I need to start quietly asking around.

Personalish:
-Get back into stretching for general flexibility, mobility and to combat the effects of hunching over a keyboard all day.
-Try a new-to-me "crazy" activity or two. Or three. This year it was driving extreme cars (OMG fun), snow hiking (I want to do it again, though it won't count as new for next year) and axe throwing (I suck at it LOL). Have to keep life interesting :) I have a few ideas already so we'll see which ones pan out.

Narilka wrote: "I tend not to make resolutions so I've been kind of avoiding this thread. But what the heck!

Bookish:
-Attempt to read more of my TBR :) But book sales are sooooo tempting lol
-Remind myself it's..."

I love your personalish goals! Life should never be boring.

Sounds good to me!

The personal goals sounds awewome! Especially the ax - throwing. Carreer wise: normally people should change jobs every average 7 years, but that's in theory.

Oh I love this thread! It's already motivating to look through everyone else's resolutions.

I've been thinking about this recently, and I want to focus less on the number of books I read in 2020. So as of now, my current resolutions are:

Book:
- set a goal of 100 books, but not stress about getting to it. I still would like some motivation, but if I don't stick to it, so be it. I don't want to worry about how many incomplete series I have or how many books I own that I haven't read. I will just read what I want, at the pace I want.
- read more Korean books. Get a library card here, which is something I've been meaning to do for a long time.
- spend more time in FBR, at least a few times a week. I really miss connecting more with people on here as I've become busier. It's amazing to find people who have similar interests and are also just very kind and caring people. You're all the best. <3

Personal:
-cook at home more. I just moved and re-organized my house so I don't have any more excuses about getting lazy and not cooking regularly.
-do some kind of exercise regularly. What exercise is yet to be determined...Any ideas?
-study more. I've been slacking with my Korean homework and I'm now two weeks behind. Sadly, this has been my resolution every year since I've moved here, and I'm still struggling with it!

Jenna wrote: "Oh I love this thread! It's already motivating to look through everyone else's resolutions.

I've been thinking about this recently, and I want to focus less on the number of books I read in 2020. ..."

I just do 1/2 hour of cardio then lift weights. repeat 3-4x a week. Love seeing muscles and having more energy! But thats me, super introverted and love putting my headphones in to get in the zone. Some people like to do recreational sports instead, so I guess it's all about how you like to recharge your batteries

I’ve looked at this thread like 10 times and haven’t commented which leads to biggest resolution which is to get more involved in this group and GR in general. I’ve really fallen into the habit of just updating my challenge threads and nothing else. So I’m pushing myself to do more buddy reads in 2020 and just get more out of the social aspects of GR.

Book wise I need to sign up for far fewer challenges than I usually do. I would like to read more freely and not have to read to hit goals.

Personal life wise I’ve been getting out more and spending more time with my friends. We have got together a few times in the last month and it’s been a lot of fun.

I also have started exercising again. I’m more looking to add some muscle than lose weight. I got sick about 5 years back and was bed ridden for a few months and lost pretty much any muscle definition I had and while I have gained some back I would like to speed up the process.

I need to get back to walking at night too. I used to do at least 5 miles every day but have been so tired after work that I’ve been skipping it. Once I get back in the habit though I know it will be easier.

What a lovely bunch y'all are here at FBR :-) I'm inspired by all your intentions/resolutions for 2020!

@Narilka - I absolutely love that you once attempted axe throwing, lol!

In 2020 I would really like to have more zest and energy, rather than just run on adrenaline trying to meet work/life checklists :-)

My daughter and I are going to try and go to yoga together more regularly. And of course - I want to aim for more reading time with my son - and for myself!

I've enjoyed reading through people's responses so far, I hope everyone is able to meet their goals and have a great year!

My reading goals:
1. Read what I want, when I want.
2. Don't schedule too many BRs too far in advance, it just leads to burn out.
3. Try and finish up some series.
4. Try and read some more books on my physical shelves.
5. Read 100 books.

My personal goals:
1. Try to conceive. Hopefully 2020 will be the year!
2. Cook from scratch more and eat less processed food.
3. Exercise every day, even if it's just a 30 min walk.
4. Have more 'me' time to relax and enjoy the things I love.

Merry Christmas to those of you that do that and Happy Holidays to the rest of you. I'll try to be more active next year.

Well, a late Christmas to everyone here and an early New Year. I can't believe this year is almost past. It has been gone so quickly.

@Charlie: I can find myself in your goals. Expect the 'conceiving'- goal. I hope this will be the year for you :)

Charlie wrote: "I've enjoyed reading through people's responses so far, I hope everyone is able to meet their goals and have a great year!

My reading goals:
1. Read what I want, when I want.
2. Don't schedule to..."

Good Luck conceiving Charlie!!! Kids are awesome. If you want you can have my two year old!! LOL My wife and I really struggled to get pregnant and took a few years. It finally happened and my baby girl is amazing. I wish you luck!!

Charlie wrote: "My personal goals:
1. Try to conceive. Hopefully 2020 will be the year!."

Me too! :)