SciFi and Fantasy Book Club discussion
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January 2021 Matchmaker Mods: The Fantasy Fix Up
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I will be answering for the contestants as they see themselves without revealing the title, author, or any plot spoilers.
I would like to ask a question! This is for all the buchelors. Do you have any pets, and if not, could you see yourself cuddling with a fluffy friend of some sort?
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Buchelor number one: I do! Well, sort of. I think I might be the pet. But it's nice to come home to this creature who seems to care I exist.
Buchelor Number 2: How do you define pet? I do have lots of creatures that depend on me for their continued existence. I'm wary of animals in general...I tend to get...quite attached, you might say.
Buchelor Number 3: My mom won't let me have a pet. I think a really scary dog might be cool though.
Buchelor Number 4: Do rats count? I don't think I'm ready to cuddle them, but they are company of a sort I suppose.
Buchelor Number 5: I kind of have a pet. But also he's my brother? Sort of? Long story. And I do not advise cuddling him. But I miss him when I have to try to talk to people more than once a decade or so.
Haha, thank you buchelors! I can't wait to meet some of these creatures! ^_^
Question: Where are your perfect vacations?
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Buchelor One: Oh, that's hard. I would love to show you the flowers of my homeland, and feed you its delicacies. And if not that, given the state of things, then I could shower you in the riches of my other homes. I throw parties the country talks about for years, and my private collections could keep us busy for weeks, if you wanted.
Buchelor Two: Vacation? I tried one once. Too dangerous. Please can we just go back to the forest?
Buchelor Three: I was planning to go to an island with my best friend but, well...I don't think corpses are allowed on planes.
Buchelor Four: Somewhere with lots of books and soft, soft sheets.
Buchelor Five: Mostly I just want to go back to my vase, please. But I think that's not really a vacation, so to answer your question, I'd like to go to one of the places you can only find in an airship.
Allison wrote: "Hello to all you radical readers! Welcome back to the Fantasy Fix Up where we make sure all your holidays are booked with someone special! I'm your host Allie, and we've got a great line up of buch..."Buchelor Number 5 - would a heavy olive in his rot gut while drinking with the knights of Grimnoir be jake with him?
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"
What? I have no idea what you're saying. Is that English even? Who is Jake? Is this a friend of yours? Do they throw a good party?
Question for all: Do you like to be out where the action is, or would you rather be at home relaxing?
Allison wrote: "Leticia wrote: "Question: Where are your perfect vacations?"Buchelor One: Oh, that's hard. I would love to show you the flowers of my homeland, and feed you its delicacies. And if not that, given..."
Buchelor One and Four both sound like a dream. ;-)
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Buchelor Number 1: *small wry smile* When I'm in the action I miss home. When I'm home I get antsy and can't wait to get back out. I'm like a cat that way.
Buchelor Number 2: HOME. I hate action, please anyone else handle the action.
Buchelor Number 3: Home. Action. Restaurant? Home. Action!! I guess you could say we are of many minds about this.
Buchelor Number 4: Wherever I am is where the action is. And I can't not be where I am because I'm there.
Buchelor Number 5: I wanna be in the room where it happens, as the Americans say.
Well so far they all have something interesting about them. I'm liking 4 right now, but I can't wait to see what other questions will clarify things.
Allison wrote: "John wrote: "Buchelor Number 5 - would a heavy olive in his rot gut while drinking with the knights of Grimnoir be jake with him?"
What? I have no idea what you're saying. Is that English even? W..."
so looks like my bent sense of humour gets me again. Here is what I referring to Warbound parties, airships, magic, "heavy" and jake - adjective Slang.satisfactory; OK; fine: Everything's jake with me.
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Lol, I love this.What’s the worst part of your jobs, Buchelors, and why?
For all the buchelors. Please forgive me if this is too personal. How's your sex and/or romantic life going? Or is that something that just doesn't interest you?
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What’s the worst part of your jobs, Buchelors, and why?"
Buchelor Number 1: I could handle being stabbed less. I think I'd most prefer the people I love not getting hurt because of my inadequacies. I'd take it as a kindness if you didn't ask me to expound on that.
Buchelor Number 2: My actual job? I guess sometimes it rains. Being wet isn't so great. And sometimes there are fires, which is sad. What I'm doing right now? It'd be a shorter list to tell you what's good about it. Um...well so far the world isn't ending, so I guess that's a thing to be proud of.
Buchelor Number 3: J-o-b-uh? I don't really make...money. But I do have things I have to do, and some are harder. I guess killing people is the worst. It's messy and then everyone's like "oooh, you're a monster" and I'm like what do you do that's so good, huh? and then they come to kill me, which is unfair.
Buchelor Number 4: Nothing about my job is bad. My job is awesome. Although I think some of my...hm... employers make things more difficult. I guess that's the worst part. People who think I work for them. Also, leaving my house. If I could do my job from home that would be just *chef's kiss* but I kinda got told to stop doing that. Okay that's another thing. So many rules! Speaking of rules, I won't explain myself to you.
Buchelor Number 5: Well, I just convinced my boss to start paying me in human money, so things are looking up. Other than that, I'd say the murder pits take a long adjustment.
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Buchelor Number 4: *snort* Well, I've been in solitary confinement for several months in manacles, so, you know, chafing mostly.
Buchelor Number 1; *blushes* Oh. It's--well it's complicated. I'm quite experienced and well um. Aha. Well I'll say that when you're my age, you learn to value things other than romantic entanglements.
Buchelor Number 2: Thanks for bringing *that* up. I just got dumped, and that whole world ending thing means there's not much time for dances or whatever it is that girls like to do around here. Not sure why everyone had to make this so complicated.
Buchelor Number 5: I'm kind of just...focused on my work right now, you know?
Buchelor Number 3: I do not know what love is. If it's needing someone, my love life is very, very full.
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Tell me, Buchelors: if I were to see you at a party, what would you likely be doing?
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Buchelor 5: Okay, so this is important. You must know your designer drugs, and stick to one type of alcohol while you experiment. I prefer Scotch. Which specific pills, I'd have to see what my options are, and who is there. Also, I'd probably have my friend nearby and I'd have to watch him to make sure he wasn't just telling every girl he met about magic. Not very good at secrets, that one.
Buchelor 1: It's funny, actually. I'm at many parties, but it seems that every time I host one, I end up being called away for matters of state that end with me unburdening a conspirator of something they had possessed.
Buchelor 4: **glowers with professional jealousy** Ooo me me moo unburdening a conspirator mi mi mi.
Buchelor 1: I...was that you mimicking me?
Buchelor 4: You wish, champ.
Buchelor 3: You guys are weird. I'd probably either be seeing if someone would buy me a drink or hiding from some mean kids. Maybe playing with my friend. We like puzzles!
Buchelor 2: ...I think we go to different sorts of parties. Is this like a winter revel? I can dance okay.
1) What is your greatest combat or magic skill (either the most useful, or the one you like best)?2) Are you the hero of your book?
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2) Are you the hero of your book?"
Buchelor 4: I've got deft hands *eye brow wiggle* And of course I'm the hero!
Buchelor 2: I'm no hero. My friend was the hero, I'm just the guy trying to do what he couldn't. I think my best skill is that I seem to be good at gathering the people who *can* be heroes.
Buchelor 1: That is a very good skill indeed. One I hope I share, though I do wonder... I am not sure I am a hero, but I do what is necessary, and I attempt to do so with honor.
Buchelor 3: *all look at each other* Uhhh...well one of us thinks he's a hero, but the rest of us are pretty sure he's a prig. So...I'm not very sure. But I can tell you for sure who the villain(s) is/are. Maybe. *All of them point at someone different* Hm. This is tricky.
Buchelor 5: No matter what the other characters say, I'm definitely the hero. I've got the world's best lawyers, a girl who will stab the shit out of you, and all the magic items you can shake a stick at. And the aforementioned airships. I'm clearly the most well endowed gift wise. Hang on, I think that came out wrong.
If you could have a collection of anything, what would it be of?What kind of hobby we should take up together?
Allison wrote: "(I think I'm having waaay too much fun with this)"
We can tell!
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What kind of hobby we should take up together?
Allison wrote: "(I think I'm having waaay too much fun with this)"
We can tell!"
Haha! I hope it's fun for you all, too. These questions are great! Much better than Farrah Fawcett's first question... https://youtu.be/hrSthPFEFrw?list=PLL...
Buchelor Number 5: Collections...magic items would be cool. I only just learned about them. Hobbies? You mean like after school sports, that sort of thing? I don't think I'll be having so much time for this, sorry. You can come with me on an airship though! Just don't stab me. Or the airship.
Buchelor Number 4: I don't like the collecting so much as the acquiring. The hunt is just so fun. Oh!!!! We could go hunting for rare items together! Wouldn't you like that? And hobbies. Let's say I'm just generally interested in things. You never know what will come in handy.
Buchelor Number 3: Do you like Rubik's cubes? How about million jillion piece puzzles?? Or huffing glue and listening to KISS?? If I could collect anything it would be...uhh...the autographs of murderers.
Buchelor Number 2: I'm trying really hard to stop collecting things. It's really just getting way out of hand. Who needs all this stuff? And hobbies? Why isn't anyone listening to me? THE WORLD IS ENDING!!! Put down the...the basketweaving or whatever and learn a skill to stop the enemy!
*ringing silence*
Buchelor Number 1: That does sound...very trying. But joy is an important part of the work against evil, my friend. I collect all sorts of things that interest me, and my interests are often impacted by my travel companions. Life is for learning. I'd like to learn a new instrument. It's been awhile since I had time to find a master and practice.
So far I like no. 1 best, followed by 4. Question: Dear buchelors, please tell me more about your friends: what are they like?
I'm most interested by 2, 4, and 5 now. 1 and 3 might be something I'd read, but they don't jump out at me as much as the others.Number 2 seems like the reluctant hero, and I'm getting dragon vibes.
Number 4 seems like they get into a lot of trouble in a way that I would like to read about.
Number 5 is weird and quirky in a good way, and it seems like there might be multiple interesting characters involved.
I would be happy to read any of those so far, and I'm really enjoying this thread.
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Question: Dear buchelors, please tell me more about your friends: what are they like?"
Buchelor Number 3: My friend is the coolest, best, scariest but funnest person in the world. She err...he is just like me but that scares me. Alternatively, all my friends are dead, but they were assholes.
Buchelor Number 5: Oho, friends is it! You can't trust those fuckers. Oh sure, it's always come over this and let's go meet so-and-so that, and then you get shoved in a pit for a lifetime or assassinated or something. No no, I have my family and I have my colleagues, and that's enough. Well okay, not quite enough. I do have one friend, but he's a party boy rich kid and too nice to drag into all of this nonsense.
Buchelor Number 4. AMEN! I'm not tellling you anything about my friends because then you'll probably just go and kidnap them or something to try to get me to do the thing I'm already doing and that's a hard pass, thanks. Also, my "friends" have an annoying habit of blaming me for things that anyone technically could have done, no proof it was me, and tying me up, so I think maybe I'm not doing friends right.
Buchelor Number 1: My, my. I think I am more blessed than I had imagined. I have wonderful friends. Friends I'd die for and who would do so for me, and, most magically, friends who know that their deaths would destroy me more utterly than simple failure ever would. I can confidently say that the bonds between my companions and I are what keep me going.
Buchelor Number 2: Yes. I had a friend...have a friend...who was like that. Is. Is like that. He was the best person I've ever known. Everything came naturally to him, and you'd hate him for that if he wasn't also kind, funny, loyal and generous. But now I...I am not sure how this works now. It seems to get harder and more important every day that I find a way to share that bond with others but...how do you create brotherhood with someone who has not been with you through all things?
I was trying not to say anything, because I didn't want to sound like I was bragging about knowing what the books are, but I *do* know what the books are, and it's amazing how well Allison is getting into the heads of the ones I've read! It feels like the characters are actually answering these questions! :D
This is just awesome. I think I like 4 better than 1 now. General meta question: is this merely describing the characters' situation in the beginning, or throughout the book? Does 4 remain chained up for the whole book? Does 2 hide in forest the whole time instead of going out to fight the big bad? I'm assuming this is a snapshot of the beginning, right?
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Buchelor Number 2: Hey! I don't just hide--
Buchelor Number 4: And I don't think staying chained is my defining char--
Host: THANK YOU, Buchelors, but please remember what we talked about.
I have absolutely no clue what the books are, but I'm enjoying the game thoroughly! Allison is doing a fabulous job capturing the characters, and I'm laughing out loud at these answers But I can tell you for sure who the villain(s) is/are. Maybe. *All of them point at someone different* Hm. This is tricky. It's certainly gotten me intrigued to read them once the titles are revealed. I'm attracted to #1 with that dashing, upstanding sort of appeal, but I can't wait to get inside the covers with snarky #4, who I think could show me a good time. *eyebrow waggle* I relate a little too much with #2; I think we could share a drink or a walk in the woods and commiserate over the world going to hell in a handbasket. Speaking of which...Buchelors, my latest sartorial style has embraced the new "pandemic casual" look. How would you describe your fashion sense?
Melissa wrote: "I have absolutely no clue what the books are, but I'm enjoying the game thoroughly! Allison is doing a fabulous job capturing the characters, and I'm laughing out loud at these answers "Same! So much fun! Such saucy Buchelors.
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"
Buchelor 1: May I say it suits you well. Attracted you say? Well then allow me to suggest that while I am a person of means, my clothing is always a reflection of the role I am filling. And that generally people who ask such questions are less interested in the quality of my tailor, and much more interested in learning what the clothing says about the person...underneath.
Buchelor 5: Oh my God, you're really laying it on thick, dude. Can't you answer even a single question without it implying anything? Like this, watch. Hello Melissa. I wear mostly just clothes, just like what you would see in American stores, but some of my family is a bit more traditional. Sometimes we wear more old fashioned things for like weddings and stuff, but in my day to day life I'd say mostly business casual with lots of layers because I never know what climate I'll end up in. I have yet to find a coat that keeps me as warm as I prefer.
Buchelor Number 3: You should try a coat from here. Not all of us wear such nice coats, or coats at all depending, but my mom always gets me a good coat and it's warm enough I can play outside even when the sun goes down, at least until my ears get cold. Under the coat, kinda casual I guess? Many of us don't have a lot of money, or really care, and some of us have to go to the gym pretty often.
Buchelor Number 4: I nicked a really nice cloak, once. I also have some really nice earrings...I think you had similar ones, didn't you?
Buchelor Number 2: What am I wearing? Uh...well I've got a shirt with uh some buttons on it and long sleeves because they're just so....so uh warm aren't they? *listens to something* I am not telling them any of that! Why would they have to know about what's UNDER my--No.
I wear clothes. I wear clothes as appropriate to the season which are practical and cover all the important parts.
As someone else said above me- not bragging but I figured one of these out and Allie really is nailing it. This is fun.
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I was wondering if you'd see this haha! Hang on to any guesses, there's another part of this game.
Okay, dear buchelors: which cool thing/sight in your world have you always wanted to visit and see (or if you've already seen a lot, which was your favorite)? (No need to name it if it has a name, just describe it.)
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Buchelor Number 1: You're going to think me a cliche I'm afraid. My boots have the dust of a hundred cities on them, all with wonders kingdoms would--and routinely do--kill for. The best thing I've ever seen is my bed at the end of a long day and family around me when I wake up.
Buchelor Number 4: Bullshit. First of all, I don't believe you when you say your bed--
Host: Buchelor 4, the game isn't to answer for other people.
Buchelor Number 4: But I mean, come ON with this guy.
Host: Well, then you tell us what YOUR favorite sight is. Didn't you say vacation would involve sheets?
Buchelor Number 4: Well yes, I'm fond of some downtime, but I don't see my bed and think "gods, now I can die easy, having seen such marvels."
Buchelor Number 1: One wonders then how many marvels you've been able to see--or the state of your room --if it holds so little appeal.
Buchelor Number 4: *glares* Well. Now I'm not going to say.
Buchelor Number 5: Oh lord. I can't with you. Let other people talk already if you have so little to say. Where I most want to go? I cannot even tell you yet, I am still learning about the world I now belong to. I'm told there are some parts in space, that might be very cool.
Buchelor Number 2: *Sigh* Am I not saying the words right? Home. I want to go home. I've seen and met more places, people and things than I ever thought I would. They've been loud and smelly and frankly, they keep trying to drag me into things. I am beginning to think I need to wear blinders like a horse so that people can't flag me down, but even that doesn't seem likely to help. I am going to write a book called "where not to go at the end of the world" and apparently I'll sell many copies since no one seems to grasp what that means.
Buchelor Number 5: I'm going to be honest. I would buy that book.
Buchelor Number 2: *defeated sigh*
Buchelor Number 3: Uhhhh...I guess I'd go to a really big music festival? Somewhere way way south? There isn't much locally I'd recommend. The forest is pretty here (sorry, Two) but dangerous lately.
Okay I have a question for all the Buchelors.What is your favored mode of transportation?
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What is your favored mode of transportation?"
Buchelor 5: Oh that's easy. Airship one hundred percent. It's like a plane, but you can stand up and move around and lie down, and it moves in many different directions than planes can, and it goes places planes can't land. Or see. Honestly, having flown airship, it is a marvel planes don't bang their nose into things more often.
Buchelor 3: Uh...the metro? Way more convenient than a car, way safer than walking, and I don't think we have airships. But if you can wrangle it, flying by angel is a novelty.
Buchelor Number 4: Anything but horses, please and thanks. You can launch me in a catapult if you must.
Buchelor Number 2: I think catapulting people only takes them one place. My favorite mode is walking, but that's impractical given my situation. Other than keeping my own two feet, I'm pragmatic about other ways to travel.
Buchelor Number 1: Horse, if time permits. And if not...*grimace* then a faster, fresher horse.
This is for all the Buchelors. Would you say you are a team player or more of a loner?
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Buchelor Number 1: One who refuses to accept help, or who would endanger a friend and the mission for the sake of company has no business being in my line of work.
Buchelor Number 2: I'd say I'm your classic INFJ. I'm not sure what that means, I was fed that line. I like...people I like. And who are good at their jobs. And who do those jobs.
Buchelor Number 3: The great conundrum. None of us can stay alone. And none of us can cope with others.
Buchelor Number 4: I'm GREAT with people. But you know what they say about how to keep a secret with two people.
Buchelor Number 5: I am half custom made to be a team player with loners, and loners who are forced to enjoy the attention of team players.
Hmph... Why Buchelor #4, I'm beginning to see why your friends had you tied up. You're right. that jewelry does look remarkably similar to my own. Only... what a shame. You may find you'll need some new piercings for those. I'd be more than happy to assist you. *smiles sweetly*Buchelor #1: Thank you, I'm merely dressing for the occasion... as do you, it seems. *raised eyebrow* One does wonder which ensemble best represents the man. Or perhaps all ensembles are forms of dissembling, really. You know what they say. I'll have to be careful to not judge you by your jacket.
To all the Buchelors: What are some of your short-term and long-term goals?
Can't wait for the reveal, I'm leaning towards 2 and 4 but all have my interests peaked lol. This might be too cheesy and weird to answer, but Buchelors what book would you want if you were stranded on a desert island?
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Host: Buchelors, please remember what we talked about on this one.
Buchelor Number 1: *Nods* My immediate goal is supper. My longterm goal is to retire in a safe nation.
Buchelor Number 2: Uh, short term goal, get through my...recovery. Long term goal, say it with me buchelors.
**All the buchelors except 3** "Save the world."
Buchelor Number 3: Go back to the forest. Oh. The world, yes. Uh my short term goal is to *huddled conference from buchelor 3 components* Okay, yes, we can say that. Short term goal is to forget yesterday, long term goal is to hurt those who hurt me.
Buchelor Number 4: No comment.
Buchelor Number 5: Seriously? Are you sick?
Buchelor Number 4: I'd have to say the same thing that 1 did, and I refuse.
Buchelor Number 5: You are the pettiest little...well whatever. Okay, I will say mine. Short term, fix up a house. Long term, win a war.
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Buchelor Number 2: *Pales* D--desert? Like, no trees? Very hot? A book of whatever spell it is mages use to leave magically, in my own language.
Buchelor Number 1: A book in a forgotten language with a small key that I can spend my time translating.
Buchelor Number 5: A biography on one of my predecessors or a history of the country I work with. Perhaps the Book of Beasts.
Buchelor Number 3: My newspaper scrapbook.
Buchelor Number 4: *long pause* Reading is generally considered something for royalty. So, one with a lot of pictures in it.
Am I the only one who wants to see #1 and #4 have a super dramatic enemies to lovers affair while adventuring in one (or both) of their books? Actually, I'd like to see all five buchelors adventuring together in a standalone book, but I'm definitely feeling the energy between #1 and #4 <3
Remember, this isn't about guessing who they are, it's about finding true love, so don't unmask our marvelous manuscripts yet!
Let's meet them now!
Buchelor Number 1 comes to us from sunny California. It's a high gothic fantasy of manners full of derring-do and magic as two young men sneak, lie and steal people's identites (some say too effectively) to save their country.
Buchelor Number 2 is an epic fantasy that like to turn tropes on their heads. When it's not begrudgingly saving worlds, it likes to take walks in the woods and chat with old pals.
Buchelor Number 3 is a literary horror celebrity from the northiest northern reaches. Whenever it's not dodging bullies or drinking with friends, it's fond of doing puzzles and scrapbooking.
Buchelor Number 4 is a lovable ex-convict going out for one more job to earn its freedom. It believes in loyalty, dedication, stories from its mama and daily stretching.
Buchelor Number 5 packs in humor and family drama alongside magic and airships. When not involved in history-making experiments, it likes high end parties, low end gut rot and gambling on... everything.