2025 Reading Challenge discussion

This thread is to discuss The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards.

Pages: 401 pages

Length: 1 Month (May)

Participants: SarahKat, Frezita, Cristina.

Everyone reads at their own pace during a Buddy Read. Because participants can be at different parts of the book at different times, it is extremely important to mark spoilers so that the book is not ruined for someone who is not as far along as others!!!

Mark spoilers by placing {spoiler} before the text and {/spoiler} after the text but use the < and > instead of the { and }.


Happy Buddy Reading!

I started this last night! I'm 2 chapters in. It sure kept my attention but it's pretty heavy.

SarahKat wrote: "I started this last night! I'm 2 chapters in. It sure kept my attention but it's pretty heavy."

Hi Sarah! Can't wait to start reading. I got my copy a while ago but I seem to have misplaced it. I'm sure it's on the wrong bookshelf.

Hi Frezita!

I will probably finish this today! I'm always in a really impossible "stopping point" when I actually have a chance to get on the computer.

I'm up to 1989: (view spoiler)[ I was really liking the book until Rosemary came along. I thought the way they met was really strange and then she's just sort of there. That part felt rushed. And now David has died! He never told his wife or Paul, but like he told Rosemary, it might not be good for them to know at this point.

I'm just so mad at him for even giving the baby away in the first place. I'm glad for Phoebe and Caroline but it bothers me that Norah, David, and Paul's relationship is so messed up because of that ridiculous decision. (hide spoiler)]

I'll post my final thoughts later today maybe. I'm travelling this afternoon. I'll definitely respond to your thoughts when you find your copy!

SarahKat wrote: "Hi Frezita!

I will probably finish this today! I'm always in a really impossible "stopping point" when I actually have a chance to get on the computer.

I'm up to 1989: I was really liking the b..."

I agree with you, but wanted to point out that (view spoiler)[how he acted was very typical of many doctors at that time. They really thought this sort of thing would help. The one thing that makes him more human is how much he later regrets doing that. (hide spoiler)]

(view spoiler)[Yeah I understand that but I just can't wrap my head around the way he handled it. I guess you never know how you'll react to something until it happens but there's no way I could have kept a secret like that my entire life, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have tried. That's for sure a husband/wife decision to make.

I do like that the end isn't really happy, but more... hopefully resigned. They are angry, but forgiving. They wonder how things would have been different if David hadn't done that, but they don't dwell on it. Instead they look at what they have now and go with it. (hide spoiler)]

SarahKat wrote: "Yeah I understand that but I just can't wrap my head around the way he handled it. I guess you never know how you'll react to something until it happens but there's no way I could have kept a secre..."

(view spoiler)[ I agree, it's very hard. I checked your page, and given your age you don't remember when that sort of attitude was more common and where they really didn't understand a lot about grief in the medical world. My dad is the right age to have made that decision if it had happened to my parents at about the same time this book was set, but I am not sure if he would have done that or not. However, when one of my sisters died from RDS, he didn't tell my mother where she was buried because he thought it would be easier for her to get through it! That was in 1966. I know about this because in the 1980s my sister was jogging through a graveyard in town (aka Vancouver, BC) and happened to notice our sister's grave. She told my mother and it was moved to our home town.

BUT to be fair, my dad had learned some things since then, and let her go ahead and move it. By the time one of my brothers lost a child at birth, he and my mother flew to that city so they could hold her--they knew she was going to die within the day. By then he'd learned more about grief.

FINALLY - I went to school when they were trying inclusion of children with down's syndrome in my town in Canada--I don't recall the dates of this book so don't know if it happened after this or not since things vary a lot from place to place even within a state or province. We had a boy in one of my early grades, but he didn't last. I have no idea if they moved or if he wasn't learning or what happened, but his name was Timmy. (hide spoiler)]

Karin wrote: "SarahKat wrote: "Yeah I understand that but I just can't wrap my head around the way he handled it. I guess you never know how you'll react to something until it happens but there's no way I could ..."

(view spoiler)[ Interesting! I have studied the history of mental illness in this country for my degree, but yeah, studying it and witnessing it are different things. That's so sad about your keeping the location of your sister's grave from you guys! I think half the reason we even have cemeteries is for those of us left behind to have a specific spot to go to mourn our loved ones. My first husband has a gravestone. My dad doesn't. And I prefer having a place to go "see" him, rather than just a little urn in my living room.

And yeah schools were fully integrated I think when I was going. I remember a very mentally challenged kid in 5th grade being in our class most of the time. He always had an aid with him and sometimes he left class to go do his own thing I guess, but he was always at the school with other kids. (hide spoiler)]

Hi guys! Im sorry for the lack of response I have been waiting FOREVER for this book to arrive at my home and it arrived today! I am planning to start tonight

Hi Cristina! Nice. I'll check back to see what your thoughts are!

Funny story, I checked this book out from the library as an ebook, and I just realized I own it in physical form. Oh well. At least I didn't buy it again.

SarahKat wrote: "Yeah I understand that but I just can't wrap my head around..."

I agree with you. (view spoiler)[That is how I felt at the end. It was rather hopeful, IMO. (hide spoiler)]

I read this years ago before Goodreads and loved it! I retained a copy because I'm sure I'll reread it again...provided I live long enough! LOL

I did think one value of this book was to demonstrate how things could have been decided a long time ago. Hopefully as a society/culture (worldwide, wherever you are...) we have matured and wouldn't repeat these same types of mistaken yet well-meaning decisions now...

Hey just finished yesterday and have super mixed thoughts. I really enjoyed the overall story line and was super interested to see where everyone would end up but also found the book dragged at times and I was SUPER frustrated at the decisions some characters made.

Also while I understand this book was written in a way that was supposed to capture the language and thoughts of characters at the time I found some of the references to Phoebe as "a retarded person" super blunt and hard to read!

I really like your guys thoughts about the ending and the way in which the characters were able to accept their lives as they are.

☼ Cristina ☼ wrote: "Hey just finished yesterday and have super mixed thoughts. I really enjoyed the overall story line and was super interested to see where everyone would end up but also found the book dragged at tim..."

Bear in mind that when this was set "mentally retarded" was the polite term and had replaced terms like idiot. The word retarded means slow as a noun. If any of you have studied music, it comes from the same root word as the term ritardando (usually abbreviated ritard.) which means to gradually slow down.

No matter what term you make, it can be made into a derogatory statement--I am seeing this happen with "special needs" already. It happened with disabled, which was the polite replacement for handicapped which was the polite replacement for crippled and on and on back.