YA Buddy Readers' Corner ♥ discussion

A tense, page-turning psychological drama about the making and breaking of a family–and a woman whose experience of motherhood is nothing at all what she hoped for–and everything she feared.

Blythe Connor is determined that she will be the warm, comforting mother to her new baby Violet that she herself never had.

But in the thick of motherhood’s exhausting early days, Blythe becomes convinced that something is wrong with her daughter–she doesn’t behave like most children do.

Or is it all in Blythe’s head? Her husband, Fox, says she’s imagining things. The more Fox dismisses her fears, the more Blythe begins to question her own sanity, and the more we begin to question what Blythe is telling us about her life as well.

Then their son Sam is born–and with him, Blythe has the blissful connection she’d always imagined with her child. Even Violet seems to love her little brother. But when life as they know it is changed in an instant, the devastating fall-out forces Blythe to face the truth.

The Push is a tour de force you will read in a sitting, an utterly immersive novel that will challenge everything you think you know about motherhood, about what we owe our children, and what it feels like when women are not believed.

Have had this for ages - any book looking at mother/daughter relationships is a tough one as it forces you to consider so many things...

I follow you on that thought, Karen, it has good review too.
I'm going to start this evening.

I'm up to chapter 23. I'm reading the Dutch translation. This book makes me feel so many things: recognition as a mother, uneasy, guilty...It's an unexpected road trip through memorylane.

(view spoiler)[It's interesting that the story is told from 3 different POV 'sand 2 different time zones. It can be complicated, as you start the story, but you get used to it. It seems that Blythe is doing so much in not becoming her own mother, that she oversteps her boundaries and Fox doesn't' see that. In the prologue and during the other chapters there's a hint that something went wrong, maybe badly wrong, with Blythe or with Violet. Maybe it's the figuratively accident waiting to happen? I could so relate to that with the milestone of the first birthday. Not a milestone for the child, but an accomplishment that you've made it so far and now it supposed to go better. Think again... (hide spoiler)]

Chapter 23:
(view spoiler)[I can imagine how Blythe must feel with Helen so being the perfect mother. It's not a competition, but it seems that being a mother fitted Helen so easily and then imagining how humiliating it was when Violet bit her mother! But now Helen sees that things are not so okay. Help is needed, but why doesn't Fox see that, even when his own mother is suggesting that Violet has quite a temper. She's just daddie's little girl. (hide spoiler)]

Chapter 24:
(view spoiler)[There's a second child, Sam, the younger brother of Violet. And especially the last sentence, where Blythe goes back to the dressing room of the pool to search for Sam in the tiles, in the colors, is heartbreaking for some reason. (hide spoiler)]

Finished chapter 29:
(view spoiler)[This is getting really bad. What is wrong with Fox that he doesn't see that there's something off with Violet? She's still his little princess who can't do anything wrong and sees his wife as the person who sees ghosts and problems that aren't there. I just want to shake him awake. He's always working and when he's home, Violet acts like the perfect child. If he doesn't believe Blythe, why doesn't she seeks help or just some advice from a child psychiatrist? I think that she knows that there's something not right, but maybe she just need that little nudge...Also, that Mother's Day present was so beautiful that Blythe made for her mother, but she acted so cold after her little act de présence at the class. Why doesn't Seb stand up for his daughter? And poor little Elijah! Violet just killed him. I mean, she's five! (hide spoiler)]

Chapter 33:
(view spoiler)[In a certain way I can understand that Blythe wants a second child, although, I assumed that she wouldn't because how she feels with Violet and how she struggles. It seems to me that the choice for another child wasn't well thought about. The decision was more like 'Oh, I failed completely with Violet' or 'I want to try it again and maybe we'll have a good child now'. Blythe wanted to make up for everything that went wrong before. it makes me think about the book of Jody Picoult were the parents got another child to save their sick daughter. (hide spoiler)]

Saar The Book owl wrote: "I'm up to chapter 23. I'm reading the Dutch translation. This book makes me feel so many things: recognition as a mother, uneasy, guilty... It's an unexpected road trip through memorylane.

[spoiler..."

(view spoiler)[ I'm also really enjoying that we get the 3 POVs of Blythe, Blythe's mother (Cecília) and Blythe's grandmother (Etta)... I didn't expect that. I thought this would be only Blythe's story, but the other POVs definitely gives us some perspective of how was Blythe's childhood and on her own relationship with her mother.

The prologue made me sad, as it became clear from the start that things didn't work out between Blythe and Fox. I'm guessing they got an divorce... Probably because Blythe's relationship with Violet didn't get better, at all... and they drifted apart.

Also, even though I am not a mother, there's so many things here that feel really realistic to me - the fear of not being able to built a connection to your child; the guilt of not always being happy around your child (the craving of some time to yourself); the worry, frustration and anguish of trying your best and feeling that it doesn't work/isn't enough...

And, I agree with you that the 1st year mark is really much more of a celebration to the parents for having 'survived' through the 1st year, than a birthday party for the baby.

Now, I wonder why Blythe is having such a hard time creating an attachment to her daughter?! Why/How does this happen?!

Is it because Blythe's mother was emotionally neglecting towards her?! Is it undiagnosed Postpartum Depression?! OR Is Violet just a "high need' baby and Blythe is having a hard time adjusting to that?! (hide spoiler)]

Saar The Book owl wrote: "Chapter 23:
[spoilers removed]"

(view spoiler)[ It's heartbreaking to see Blythe trying to be a good mother and always comparing herself to Helen, her mother-in-law and the 'perfect mother'.

People aren't the same, and no one's perfect really. We can just do our best and/or try harder.

Also, Violet is 1 years old and she just bit her mother, because she was angry... This is bad. They definitely need some help here.

Does the child have an issue? Is she having trouble attaching to her mother?! She does seem to reject her sometimes (or does it seem that way because this is Blythe's POV and we only see things like she sees them?)

Also, I don't think it helps that Blythe doesn't always soothe Violet properly... She just lets her cry and scream and keeps doing what she needs to do... Like shouldn't she help the child calm down? Shouldn't she hold her to try to calm her down first? Shouldn't she care for her child's emotional needs?

It not easy though, as we can see, they need help here.

And, yes, Fox, the father, seems blind to what is going on... Doesn't he see that his wife is struggling? Not because she isn't trying. She might need professional help?!... A therapist, maybe? (hide spoiler)]

Saar The Book owl wrote: "Chapter 24:
[spoilers removed]"

(view spoiler)[ yes, now that they're mentioning Sam again, and after reading what you wrote, I'm guessing they lost their 2nd child?! 😢

In the prologue, Violet has a little brother, but Blythe refers to him as 'the boy' or 'your son', while violet is refered to as 'our daughter'. That boy is not Sam... Sam isn't there. Nor is he with Blythe in the car.

So, what happened to Sam?! Did he die? (hide spoiler)]

Saar The Book owl wrote: "Finished chapter 29:
[spoilers removed]"

(view spoiler)[ YES, this is getting REAL BAD! Violet has NO Empathy whatsoever! She's 5 years old and she likes hurting other children, is cruel to them, and has just caused a boy to die!

Is Violet a Psychopath?! She's certainly looking like it... She's even manipulative and can act 'like an angel' for her dad and grandma.

How is Fox still insisting that this is all normal?! How can he not see it?!... Violet's drawing of a boy with blood and another kid beside him Smiling IS NOT Normal!!!! It's not normal to SMILE at someone else's Pain!!!

About Blythe's present for mothers day.. I'm guessing Cecília isn't emotionally able to connect with her daughter, due to the abuse/trauma she suffered through by the hands of her own mother - Etta - who seems to not have attached and have rejected Cecília since her birth.

It seems Cecilia rejects Blythe emotionally too... She's definitely emotionally neglecting towards her.

Blythe's father, Seb, doesn't do anything to help, either. Guess the fathers are all trying to pretend this is all normal, happy families here... (hide spoiler)]

Saar The Book owl wrote: "I'm up to chapter 23. I'm reading the Dutch translation. This book makes me feel so many things: recognition as a mother, uneasy, guilty...It's an unexpected road trip through memorylane.

[spoiler..."

You're a little further through than me. Opening couple of chapters really have got me expecting the worst in terms of something that happens. I'm wondering whether her being honest about her family might have created slightly different outcome.

First quarter has me worried. Her background is enough to cause stress, and I suppose it becomes a vicious cycle. The comments about the ‘perfect’ mother-in-law show she feels judged and the lack of openness about their feelings is likely to cause a problem.

Second quarter. (view spoiler)[ Can’t help but think the in-law’s behaviour is not helping. The biting at bath-time was bad, but nothing was said. The little incidents around other kids also set alarm bells ringing. (hide spoiler)]

Karen wrote: "Second quarter. [spoilers removed]"

(view spoiler)[ yes, why aren't they acting now on violet's behaviour?! The hurting other kids and her own mother are definitely alarm signs... Shouldn’t they seek help? Like a psychologist?!

They're just pretending that nothing is happening... Like it's all normal... Except it isn't.

I'm worried about how Violet will continue to develop... (hide spoiler)]

Karen wrote: "Have had this for ages - any book looking at mother/daughter relationships is a tough one as it forces you to consider so many things..."

I agree... This one is definitely a complex book, about motherhood and mother-daughter's relationships. I'm guessing it might be especially hard to read if the reader is an expecting or wannabe mother...

Up to ch45 (view spoiler)[ Although we knew this was coming, nothing prepared me for the reaction I had to that scene. I’m second guessing everything and wondering if there have been missed clues. (hide spoiler)]

Saar The Book owl wrote: "Chapter 23:
[spoilers removed]"

(view spoiler)[ I wondered whether he was so desperate for a role he knew she was reluctant to take on that he is lost burying his head in the sand. (hide spoiler)]

Saar The Book owl wrote: "Finished chapter 29:
[spoilers removed]"

(view spoiler)[ I can't decide if she did kill Elijah or if this is a view of events to fit a particular mindset. (hide spoiler)]

Karen wrote: "Saar The Book owl wrote: "Finished chapter 29:
[spoilers removed]"

[spoilers removed]"

(view spoiler)[ This is told on Blythe's POV, so we only see what she perceives/believes as real and true. I am believing that something isn't right here with violet's behaviour... But the truth is, a twist would be if this is all in Blythe's head. That she is obsessing that her daughter is 'evil'... I don’t know what the truth is... Guess we'll know by the end of the book. (hide spoiler)]

Finished. Review on home page. Wow! Uncomfortable, but very very highly recommended.

Saar The Book owl wrote: "Chapter 33:
[spoilers removed]"

(view spoiler)[ I also don't think Blythe thought it through... Doesn't seem like a very good idea to have another child if she's having such a hard time connecting with her 1st born, and with motherhood in general.

Shouldn't she be afraid of going through everything she went through with Violet, a second time? (hide spoiler)]

Vivi wrote: "Saar The Book owl wrote: "Chapter 33:
[spoilers removed]"

(view spoiler)[ I identified with that more than I thought - I imagine if you've had a pretty negative experience and are desperate to prove something (as Blythe is) then you focus on what you'd do differently and the changes you'd make. I wondered if her more positive experience second time around is because she has a little more awareness of what to expect. (hide spoiler)]

Vivi wrote: "Saar The Book owl wrote: "I'm up to chapter 23. I'm reading the Dutch translation. This book makes me feel so many things: recognition as a mother, uneasy, guilty... It's an unexpected road trip th..."

The different POV's makes it a bit confusing, but it makes everything just that bit clearer. Violet could also have an attachment dissorder, due to a post partem depression of her mother.

Vivi wrote: "Saar The Book owl wrote: "Chapter 23:
[spoilers removed]"

It's heartbreaking to see Blythe trying to be a good mother and always comparing herself to Helen, her mother-in-law and the 'perfect mot..."

I think (view spoiler)[Fox compares Blythe to his mother, but maybe things weren't so perfect as they seems on the surface? Also, letting your child cry, not giving it comfort,...that's enough food for discussion. What's a big problem, is that Blythe doesn't have someone to look up at for motherhood. Her own mother wasn't good and absent. (hide spoiler)]

Vivi wrote: "Saar The Book owl wrote: "Chapter 24:
[spoilers removed]"

yes, now that they're mentioning Sam again, and after reading what you wrote, I'm guessing they lost their 2nd child?! 😢

In the prologue..."

Yes, sadly, you got that right. (view spoiler)[I'm thinking Fox has a new son with his new wife... (hide spoiler)]

Vivi wrote: "Saar The Book owl wrote: "Finished chapter 29:
[spoilers removed]"

YES, this is getting REAL BAD! Violet has NO Empathy whatsoever! She's 5 years old and she likes hurting other children, is crue..."

The relation with Seb and Blythe (view spoiler)[is a bit the same as Fox and Blythe in some ways: Seb ingored how Cecilia was and Fox ignores how Violet is towards her mother. I mean, in chapter 50 Violet wishes her mother gone! This is an extreme form of the Electra complex (cfr. Freud) where the daughter wants to marry her father, but that's toddler behaviour. It looks like in chapter 50 that Blythe wants to give her bound with Violet another try. Sadly, but very rare, there are children with the same problematic as Violet. (hide spoiler)]

Karen wrote: "Saar The Book owl wrote: "I'm up to chapter 23. I'm reading the Dutch translation. This book makes me feel so many things: recognition as a mother, uneasy, guilty...It's an unexpected road trip thr..."

I hope so too. The first pages gives you a bit hope, but also the feeling that it will get worse when telling her story...Blythe has it all written out and I hope this will change things.

Karen wrote: "Second quarter. [spoilers removed]"

It seems that everyone is ignoring the ticking time bomb. (view spoiler)[Heleen throws a little fish out to Fox about Violet's behaviour, but he doesn't see it. (hide spoiler)]

Karen wrote: "Saar The Book owl wrote: "Chapter 23:
[spoilers removed]"

[spoilers removed]"

Yes, maybe, (view spoiler)[ but you can't keep burrying your head in the sand when your daughter is acting like that. Also, he's working constantly, so he doesn't see the troubles. (hide spoiler)]

Vivi wrote: "Karen wrote: "Saar The Book owl wrote: "Finished chapter 29:
[spoilers removed]"

[spoilers removed]"

[spoilers removed]"

Karen wrote: "Saar The Book owl wrote: "Finished chapter 29:
[spoilers removed]"

[spoilers removed]"


This is hard one. (view spoiler)[We only read what is playing in Blythe's head and her memories, with no witnesses. With Violet acting like that, we are faster to believe that she actually killed Elijah, but it's a bit left in the middle. (hide spoiler)]

Vivi wrote: "Saar The Book owl wrote: "Chapter 33:
[spoilers removed]"

I also don't think Blythe thought it through... Doesn't seem like a very good idea to have another child if she's having such a hard time..."

Yes, but the need (and it's a bit selfish) seems to be bigger than the worries.

Karen wrote: "Vivi wrote: "Saar The Book owl wrote: "Chapter 33:
[spoilers removed]"

[spoilers removed]"

Okay, I can agree on that, but a child isn't a little experiment that you can do over when the first one failed. But I can put myself a bit in her head.

I'm going to finish tomorrow evening.

Saar The Book owl wrote: "Karen wrote: "Second quarter. [spoilers removed]"

It seems that everyone is ignoring the ticking time bomb. [spoilers removed]"

(view spoiler)[ I wondered if he'd just been so determined to get this, he ignored the signs things weren't right. (hide spoiler)]

Karen wrote: "Up to ch45 [spoilers removed]"

(view spoiler)[ what scene are you talking about? I'm guessing you mean Sam's "accident".

That was shocking! I didn't expect it to go as it did. The question is was it really an accident or did violet really push the stroller?!

Did Blythe's mind create that image of violet's hands on the stroller, because she feels guilty and wants to blame someone else for Sam's death,?!

Blythe had such a different motherhood experience with Sam... Why?!

Is it because he was a boy (she thanked God for him being a boy... What's wrong with having another girl? Was she afraid it'd be like violet?!)...

... or is it because Sam was a pregnancy Blythe really wanted/desired?!

Poor Sammy... (hide spoiler)]

Chapter 48 (view spoiler)[

So, Blythe went on a mental health retreat and refused psychological therapy/ assessment ?!

She should have had the therapy... It seems she's less okay/ mentally stable than she is saying that she is... (hide spoiler)]

Chapter 68 (view spoiler)[

I can’t stand Blythe's crazy stalking obsession of Gemma. What good does she expect doing this will bring?! She's just hurting herself.

I wonder if her obsessive behaviors will turn towards the baby? Can she do a crazy thing like try to replace Sam with Gemma's baby?!... Blythe just doesn't seem very stable right now... (hide spoiler)]

Chapter 84 (view spoiler)[

WTH is wrong with Fox?! He sees Violet with a knife cutting away at her mother's clothes and doesn't see this as disturbing and worrying?!

Doesn't he see that this is Not NORMAL?!

WHY don't they get professional help fpr violet?! Do they need her to become a serial killer before they do so?!


This episode with Violet just shows she has anger management issues and can be violent. It does make us second guess again if she might have caused Sam to die, after all. (hide spoiler)]

Finished (view spoiler)[

What was that ending?! 😩 Are they gonna continue to bury their heads in the sand until violet is thirty?!

So, Blythe was right all along and violet is a psychopath (?) or at least has some serious issues. She's 15 when "something" happens to jet... We don't get to fully know what exactly happened, but it’s implied (or leeds us to believe) that violet caused it.

I wanted to have a bit more of the ending... At least an acknowledgement from Fox and Gemma that something was not right with violet's behaviours and that she'd be starting therapy.

Overall, this was a very concerning read... Kinda of nightmarish. (hide spoiler)]

Karen wrote: "Finished. Review on home page. Wow! Uncomfortable, but very very highly recommended."

Definitely uncomfortable, I agree with you there. And it's Definitely different and thought-provoking too.

Vivi wrote: "Karen wrote: "Up to ch45 [spoilers removed]"

what scene are you talking about? I'm guessing you mean Sam's "accident".

That was shocking! I didn't expect it to go as it did. The question is was ..."

When you think of (view spoiler)[the 2 accidents, it's like wondering if Violet did the 2 or only the one with Elijah? Or none? I'm asking myself if it's the post partum that makes Blythe sees things so differently and that Violet is just a normal child. (hide spoiler)]

Vivi wrote: "Chapter 48

So, Blythe went on a mental health retreat and refused psychological therapy/ assessment ?!

She should have had the therapy... It seems she's less okay/ mentally stable than she is sa..."

Yes, I agree on that, but (view spoiler)[you can't push someone to get therapy. A person needs to be ready for it. Now it seems that Blythe derailed a bit there. (hide spoiler)]

Saar The Book owl wrote: "Vivi wrote: "Karen wrote: "Up to ch45 [spoilers removed]"

what scene are you talking about? I'm guessing you mean Sam's "accident".

That was shocking! I didn't expect it to go as it did. The que..."

(view spoiler)[ Do you think Blythe had a post-partum depression after birthing Violet and that's part of the issue here?!

Still there was no diagnosis of post-partum depression and Blythe saw a doctor in the beginning I think (hide spoiler)]

After finishing the book, I'm still digesting some things...

(view spoiler)[ So, Etta, I believe, did have post-partum depression. Cecilia, her child, was firstly raised by her grandmother, but after a while was "dumped" on Etta, for her to raise... She was her daughter, after all.

Etta didn't connect or attach to her daughter. Cecilia always felt that her mother didn't love her or wanted her. Etta was even abusive towards Cecilia. Etta rejected Cecilia completely. She didn't want that daughter, but she was there in the world... Etta ended up killing herself.

Cecilia was never loved by her mother. She was abused. And had several trauma due to Etta.

I don't know if Cecilia had attachment disorder... She was raised initially by her grandmother, but since that relationship was cut off, she might have developed attachment disorder, yes.

Cecilia wasn't loved or wanted... So she was desperate for someone to love her... After her mother's death, she's free to go start anew in the big city. And she attaches herself to the first male she sees - Seb.

It's not a healthy relationship. Cecilia wants freedom, to live, more in life... And she gets pregnant.

Cecilia does not want the child. She rejects her completely. But has to birth her, either way... So, Blythe is born.

Blythe is emotionally neglected by her mother completely. Cecilia is not a mother; she continues going out, meeting men, looking for the sense of being loved that she never had...

Cecilia ends up abandoning Blythe, leaving her with her father when she's 12.

Blythe is determined to be a better mother than the one she had. But you can't give what you don't have. Blythe was emotional neglected all her life... She ate oats at dinner with her dad, cause her mother couldn't be bothered to cook anything for them, ever (I do believe that Cecilia had a Depression, besides several issues due to her mother's abuse).


Blythe tries her best to be a good mother. She had Mrs. Ellington as a positive role model/mother figure... But, I think Blythe was still a bit neglecting on her mothering of violet.

I don't think Blythe attached normally with Violet. Was it because she was an unexpected/unwanted pregnancy and was a girl? Did she see her mother in her? Was she afraid of having a relationship with her like the one with her own mother?

Violet, I believe grew to be a Sociopath. She believes/knows her mother doesn't love her, doesn't want her... Only Sam.

Violet has anger issues because of this and has way too much violent/cruel behaviors for her age, growing up. The nasty, horrible things violet says and does... 😱

I do believe Violet ended up killing Jet too, in the end. She must have thought he was taking her place or was the favorite in her new family... He was in her way, so she caused another "accident".

What do you guys think? (hide spoiler)]

Vivi wrote: "Saar The Book owl wrote: "Vivi wrote: "Karen wrote: "Up to ch45 [spoilers removed]"

what scene are you talking about? I'm guessing you mean Sam's "accident".

That was shocking! I didn't expect i..."

@Vivy: yes, I do think that. Doctors don't make that diagnosis fast. At least not in the beginning.

Up to chapter 61:
(view spoiler)[Oh my, so Blythe found out about the affair. Grief is real breaker for a marriage or any relationship and it's true that most couples don't survive. How will she co - parent with Voilet? And then when Violet showed that vidro of that British lady saving her child 3 times? That was just cruel. Also, Etta commited suicide, we don't know if Cecilia is still alive and Blythe wounded herself. So, there's a path of selfdestruction and depression. (hide spoiler)]

@Saar The Book owl,

Well, Blythe didn't have post-partum depression with her 2nd child, that is clear... Maybe that was part of why she had such a different experience.

Saar The Book owl wrote: "Up to chapter 61:
[spoilers removed]"

(view spoiler)[ Violet seems a bit too cruel, doesn't she?!

I'd say there's definitely path to self-destruction and depression here, with all that Blythe went/is going through... (hide spoiler)]