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I tried to include some words of interest to my potential market, but my sentence constructions are rather clunky. Any thoughts on making this better are welcome!

An American faerie fantasy filled with magick, music & mayhem

Mary was an ordinary middle-aged woman adjusting to her role as an empty-nester when she drank from a magical chalice and became fae. A few months later, she’s still adapting to her new life when the Mississippi River suddenly disappears.

She knew being a river nymph wouldn’t be all songs and rainbows, but never imagined she’d be battling a trio of mages who’d hijacked her river.

A were-jaguar, frog prince, and multiple fae lords entangle themselves in her quest, turning what should have been a straightforward journey across the American Midwest into an adventure fraught with twisted games, musical spells, and even a glimpse into the Hereafter to see what awaits on the Other Side.

Mary is determined to rescue the river, but isn’t sure she’s ruthless enough to become an avenging faerie. Can she save the Mississippi’s soul without sacrificing her own?

Mississippi Missing is a standalone novel set in the world of the Fifth Mage War. This adult urban fantasy novel doesn’t include romance or graphic violence. It’s a spiritual story of new beginnings, a heartfelt tale of remaining true to yourself, even when you don’t know who you are.

Gonna tackle this one one line at a time.

An American faerie fantasy filled with magick, music & mayhem

Doesn't really grab me, yet.

Mary was an ordinary middle-aged woman adjusting to her role as an empty-nester when she drank from a magical chalice and became fae.

I suspect this might be more of a personal pet peeve than anything else, but I often feel put off by blurbs that introduce a character as "ordinary". For one, I don't think there is any such thing as an ordinary person. Second, I don't know what you consider "ordinary". Third, some synonyms of "ordinary" are dull, trite, commonplace, run-of-the-mill. So, if you, the author, call your character "ordinary", I'm not keen on getting to know her. I suspect she's going to be bland. The bit about her turning into a fae is interesting.

A few months later, she’s still adapting to her new life when the Mississippi River suddenly disappears.

Okay, interest is piqued. Imagine the chaos!

She knew being a river nymph wouldn’t be all songs and rainbows, but never imagined she’d be battling a trio of mages who’d hijacked her river.

Seems wordy and most of it unnecessary. Of course she never imagined such a thing. Who would?

A were-jaguar, frog prince, and multiple fae lords entangle themselves in her quest, turning what should have been a straightforward journey across the American Midwest into an adventure fraught with twisted games, musical spells, and even a glimpse into the Hereafter to see what awaits on the Other Side.

Feels like a big old info dump. There's a lot piled into that sentence and frankly it doesn't say a whole lot. "Frog prince" for example - is it a prince that was turned into a frog, or the prince of some little frog kingdom? Hereafter is vague, too. "Twisted games" doesn't tell me a thing.

Mary is determined to rescue the river, but isn’t sure she’s ruthless enough to become an avenging faerie.

So, is she determined or is she timid?

Can she save the Mississippi’s soul without sacrificing her own?

My guess is yes.

Mississippi Missing is a standalone novel set in the world of the Fifth Mage War.

Doesn't do anything to compel me to open the book.

This adult urban fantasy novel doesn’t include romance or graphic violence.

Again, doesn't really do anything for me. A book doesn't need romance or graphic violence to be good, though there's nothing wrong with either. Again, maybe it's just a pet peeve of mine, but it feels like you're apologizing for what your book isn't. Don't.

It’s a spiritual story of new beginnings, a heartfelt tale of remaining true to yourself, even when you don’t know who you are.

Much better than the sentence before it. Focus on what the book is and not what it isn't.

All in all, it's okay. The best sentence is the one about the river coming up missing. Maybe give some examples of the chaos that causes and a better explanation as to why Mary is the one to solve the problem. Leave off the lists of characters Mary encounters. The reader will learn of them when they read the book.

Hi Dwayne, thanks for your feedback. Best, Laura

Laura wrote: "I tried to include some words of interest to my potential market, but my sentence constructions are rather clunky. Any thoughts on making this better are welcome!

An American faerie fantasy filled..."

I think that if you want to grab attention, start by condensing the first two paras into something like, Just as Mary was adapting to life as a river nymph, her river, the Mississippi . . . disappeared??? - did the area go or did the water dry up?

Then, Mary is determined to recover her river, but she faces . . . I would try to keep this as simple as possible. I agree with Dwayne about the para that lists opponents but tells little. Find a couple of things at most that these opponents can put in her way. The blurb should highlight the mountains she must climb, not the characters that will be a problem because we don't know enough about them to know why they are a problem. That they are weird does not entice me.

Then at the end, as Dwayne says, don't say what the book isn't; focus on what it is. Try to keep the whole blurb sharp and to whatever point you want to make.

Hope this helps.

Thanks for your feedback, Ian.

I'm going to be like Dwayne and tackle this one or two lines at a time.
An American faerie fantasy filled with magick, music & mayhem. This is an okay line but needs to be at the end of the blurb, not the beginning, if you use it at all. The beginning is to hook the reader, not tell them what the book is.

Mary was an ordinary middle-aged woman adjusting to her role as an empty-nester when she drank from a magical chalice and became fae. Like Dwayne, don't use ordinary. That isn't what your reader wants to hear. We know that the book will start off in her ordinary world, but you don't need to tell the reader that. So, you can describe her as a middle aged empty nester. Next problem, where is she get this magical chalice? Did she find it? Was it given to her? Did it drop down from the heavens? And what did she drink from it? Tea? Water? A magic brew? You don't have a real hook in this with the way you have it written. Think headline in a newspaper geared to get your attention. What does this mean to her?

A few months later, she’s still adapting to her new life when the Mississippi River suddenly disappears. Okay, this is attention getting, but bland. Forget the few months later and the adapting part. Just say, then the Mississippi River disappears. Forget the word suddenly--delete it from your writing.

She knew being a river nymph wouldn’t be all songs and rainbows, but never imagined she’d be battling a trio of mages who’d hijacked her river. Okay--she is fae and a water nymph? They are two different things. When did she become a water nymph? And how does she know who hijacked the river? You are introducing the antagonist, so we do need to know a bit about them.

A were-jaguar, frog prince, and multiple fae lords entangle themselves in her quest, turning what should have been a straightforward journey across the American Midwest into an adventure fraught with twisted games, musical spells, and even a glimpse into the Hereafter to see what awaits on the Other Side. Way too much information. Leave it at: What should have been a straightforward journey across the American midwest (Need to put in why here) became a journey filled with unexpected twists and turns from those who were trying to stop her from getting her river back. (Or something to that effect. You should only mention the major players.)

Mary is determined to rescue the river, but isn’t sure she’s ruthless enough to become an avenging faerie. Can she save the Mississippi’s soul without sacrificing her own? Combine these two sentences: Unsure if she was ruthless enough to become and avenging faerie, will she be able to save the Mississippi's sound without sacrificing her own? That give you her problem and the goal all in one sentence.

Mississippi Missing is a standalone novel set in the world of the Fifth Mage War. This adult urban fantasy novel doesn’t include romance or graphic violence. It’s a spiritual story of new beginnings, a heartfelt tale of remaining true to yourself, even when you don’t know who you are. Okay, Drop what it doesn't include. If this is in a series, give us where...#1 or #6...need to know where it falls in the series. You can drop the word spiritual unless you are selling it as a inspirational fantasy. You would be surprised at the number of people who will go to the next book when they see that word. Other than that, and changing It's to This is the last sentence is good. You can put that first line here or before the last line.

Again, think of a newspaper sensational story. Make it read like that. Short, with all the most major points and filled with excitement.