Romance Readers Reading Challenges discussion

My hubby and I have been married for 24 years. He works shift-work (nursing hours) and I work full-time. He goes to church, squash etc quite regularly if his shifts permit. I have nearly no social life whatsoever. We were discussing the other day that the fact we are often alone seems to work for us. I spend 95% of my alone time reading. So that works for me. However, he spends heaps of time on his computr when we are both home. It works most of the time.

My question is two-fold...how much time do you guys spend reading and what do your hubby/partners' do while you are reading????? And finally I guess how does this impact your homelife??

I meet customers all the time who have been married for 25 years or more. So I ask a lot of them what the secret is and I've found that they mostly all tell me the same thing - separate holidays. I don't know how serious they are, maybe it's only half in jest but I hear it quite a bit and, admittedly, when they say it we all kinda laugh about it for a moment. Then they leave but I do kinda wonder after how many couples might say the alone time is a big factor in a relationship.

*** apologizes in advance for ramble - Skip to the end if you want the short answers. ***

17 years into the campaign here. Two teenage boys thrown into the mix as well. And a little dog too! (do the Margarit Hamilton laugh here)

Separate vacations?! Are you serious? Sounds like a recipe for disaster to me. First my wife is my best friend. There is nobody with whom I'd rather go see a show, go shopping, go deep sea fishing, visit a museum, explore new cultures, or just about anything else. I don't see that changing anytime soon. Second, I'm supposed to voluntarily go a week without some form of sex? NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. I understand that not being with your spouse is not a limitation for some but we don't play that way.

We both enjoy reading. If we don't have family plans, there's nothing on TV, and the kids are busy doing something else, we are usually found reading together. Sometimes we'll read out loud to each other and other times we'll sit and read beside each other. Recently, most of the books we read aloud are 'bedtime' books.

We both work quite a bit. She is a project manager in insurance and makes all the money for the family. Most workweeks are 50 hours at the office and 20 hours of evenings and weekends. I am a photographer. I shoot weddings on weekends, product during the week, and portraits whenever. I also teach photography at a local school (one night a week). Some weeks I work 10 hours. Some weeks I work 70. But my money is fun money. We go on trips, go out to eat, and whatever else fun money is good for.

I get to read more than she does because I usually have more free time and I'm more persistent. I also need less sleep. So I'll read a page at a red light. Two while standing in line at the grocery. A page or so while she tries something on while shopping is not unusual. A few pages while taking the dog for a walk. A couple of pages while reducing a sauce. A couple chapters on the treadmill. But the bulk of my reading is between 10:30 and 2:30 most nights. She can't sleep unless I'm in bed with her. I just can't sleep that much. Four hours a night is pretty average. During all that time, if I'm not reading, I'm doing something else. Believe me when I say that my wife is certainly happier with me reading than some of the other endeavors I've undertaken.

Let me apologize for my rambling ways. Since I started typing this more than a half hour ago, I had to iron a skirt and find nylons without a run and half a dozen other things for a hectic morning around here. But still finished a page and a half while brushing waiting for the steam iron to heat.

But to answer your question in as concise a manner as I know how:

How much time reading? 20-30 hours per week.
What does spouse do? works/reads/sleeps.
What impact? keeps me out of trouble.

I am not married but I like yall's answers. I would have to say my future spouse would have to either like reading [romance especially would be cool:] or we'd have to have an understanding to spend our separate time for hobbies. I wouldn't mind being in bed with a book light if my hubby couldn't sleep w/o me but otherwise I would need my spare time to read. I love it like a favorite snack and couldn't see given it up for anyone.

LOL@Photojim. Don't apologise for rambling! It makes for entertaining reading. I'm glad to hear it from someone else that separate vacations are not the answer to a long lasting marriage. Seriously, that's what a fair few of our elderly customers say (perhaps I should have pointed out that they were elderly although I'm not sure if that makes a difference). I am not married - I don't ever see that happening - but even separate vacations strike me as...unusual.

Amen, Tosca. The secret for me and my hubby is compromise and having a sense of humour. We laugh more than we ever fight - gotta be good. I think it is really important though (for us) to have our alone time as we are completely different and have vastly different hobbies. Over the past 24 years we have learnt to mesh together without everything being life or death.

My family has only had ONE marriage last the distance in 4 generations!!!! So we are at a record-breaking 24 years. My hubby and I decided very early on that no matter what, divorce would NEVER be on the table. And it has worked for us. We both have extreme security in each other.

Having said that, my husband did need a lot of training regarding my reading as he is NOT a reader. =)

LibraryLass, one marriage in four generations?! Yikes.

My mother is one of nine. My father is one of nine. My wife's mother is one of 11 and her father one of 16. In other words, I've got more aunts and uncles than you can shake a stick at (not sure what that means, but it is true). Including grandparents and great grandparents, there have been four divorces that I can name. A few more widow/widower re-marriages but they don't really count. The cousins haven't fared quite as well, but still pretty darn good. I remember my grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary and my great grandparent's 75th.

My wife asked me once while we were dating to name one thing I wanted to see before I died. I replied, "My 100th wedding anniversary... to my second wife".

I think you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned that having a sense of humor (no British spelling here) was essential.

Yeah, I figure if you can't laugh, then there really isn't much point. I have lots of relatives too (my dad is the baby of 13!), but only a great great aunt managed to make it to 59 years. My mum has been married 3 times (and counting!). So I don't have a lot of examples to go by. Hubby and I just wing it mostly. We only seem to have trouble if we start making comparisons with other couples and think "maybe we should be...." Those shoulds are killers. Accepting our relationship as is keeps us happy, but we don't ever get complacent. There is far too many things that can go wrong.

I'm very happy for you. Especially without the role models ahead of you. May your married years be many and happy.

Very interesting reading everyone. Hubby & I are coming up on 24yrs next March. He is not a reader except that in the last 2 yrs he's read a couple of large WWI histories. Therefore he's usually out in the garden or down in the shed or gargage doing "man" things. At night I'm often reading while he is watching TV.
I read whenever I can. Have been known to read while walking home from bus stops (hubby thinks that is hilarious). So agree with you Photojim. Could not imagine having separate holidays - why get married in the first place?

Thanks for the best wishes. 20+years seems to be popular with these posts!

Hubby and I have been together for 10 years. He's not a big reader, only reads in holidays. However, he works much more hours that I do, so I get to read when he's at work and I'm at home. I also read when he watches TV just before we go to sleep. I even try to keep an eye on the program he's watching so I can commend on it every now and then. I give up my books on weekends and pick them only when I go to bed, so we can spend more time as a family with the kids. Sometimes, when I'm in the middle of a good one, it's really hard to give up:) Hubby's not around too much during work days to mind my habit -except when I burn diner like I did last week- but I do feel guilty for not playing more with my kids in the afternoons:(

I would never consider separate holidays though. Perhaps a weekend with each others friends every 5-10 years, like a reunion thing, I could accept. But to spend a week apart every year, is not something I'm willing to try.

I have been with my hubby for over 8 yrs now. I'm an avid reader, he is dyslexic and has trouble even with the kids books. It isn't really something that gets in the way of our relationship though, we can easily snuggle on the couch while he's watching football and I'm reading. I have cut down in my reading now that the little one is 15 months. I don't get to read 1-2 books a day during his nap times as he no longer needs the naps! Reading keeps me sane, if I don't read I get grumpy. That's when my hubby has been known to run me a bath, tell me to pick up a book and go relax!

I couldn't imagine being on seperate holidays, even if the kids were older it's not something we would consider. What's the point if you don't get to experience it with the person who means the most to you?