Debates discussion

((I have no clue if this should go under Political/Social Issues or Culture and the Arts, so fellow mods change this to the right thing please!!))

This was a suggested topic so yeah...

You can talk about modesty in dress, speach, thoughts....etc.

Are we talking about modesty in dress, in speech, or in thought? Or all of the above?

Book wrote: "Are we talking about modesty in dress, in speech, or in thought? Or all of the above?"

You suggested it! I dunno...Everything?

I think modesty is definitely a topic to take seriously. And there is a line between being openly provocative and just feeling secure and beautiful in your own skin. I feel intuition and conscience would play a deciding factor in what to wear and how to act.

I agree! It's not something to take lightly, it's serious. As a Christian I think it's important to dress modestly, but other people might have different opinions.

So true, this book: Girl Defined: God's Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity, and Identity is about stuff liek that and stuff.

I think each person has to decide what is modest and what is not modest. I'm a Christian and I wear crop-tops a lot of my Christian family friends and people at church have a problem with that. but a christian guy can be shirt less when ever he wants. but a girl can't show her stomach. I think that is stupid. I would love to hear different opinions!!!!!!!!!!!

Gracel wrote: "I think each person has to decide what is modest and what is not modest. I'm a Christian and I wear crop-tops a lot of my Christian family friends and people at church have a problem with that. but..."

Well, honestly i was trying to say something to disagree witht hat but it sorta makes since. But girls don't go around shirtless....
I won't have a problem if a friend/family member wears a crop-top but i guess it's just whoever is seeing it.

I personally try to remember that I wouldn't want to cause my "brother" to sin in his mind. If I wore something overly showy and a guy looked at me in a sexual way (not likely with my looks xD), then I would be the one causing him to be lustful. But confidence is definitely appropriate and respectable, but to an extent.

I kinda agree with Gracel, (In dress)
It depends on the person and I hate to say it but I think it matters what your specific body type is or how you wear it.....
A girl with a big bust may have a harder time wearing a certain piece modestly than a girl with a peter pan chest.

( I know girl, that sucks... my cousin has that problem where I am on the opposite spectrum like wow, I legit have hardly anything there XD)

I also think it's important to look like a Christian. If a random person saw you and what you wearing, ask yourself, would they be shocked to learn you are a Christian?
Are you sucked into fads and are always wearing trendy clothes? Why is that? are you looking for attention and popularity?
Not that it's a bad thing to like trendy clothes, but it can go too far and if fashion is an idol in your life then maybe tone it down and stop trying to draw so much attention to yourself. Your security is in God not your standing with your friends or the attention of a cute boy. We are meant to be humble in character and in our clothes. I don't mean you can't wear bright colors or jewelry, but why are you wearing those? just because you like them? or because you want attention.

I also think modesty is dependent on culture and whatever is culturally acceptable. In New Guinea or any hot country/state, women wear significantly fewer clothes than other cultures. Same in Jesus's time, the people would roll in their graves to see a woman or man with pants!! Not to mention in the regency era women's breasts were practically falling out of their tops. It didn't matter so much back then, because breasts weren't as sexualized as legs were back then. Hence the long skirt and low top. Today, honor what your region and parents deem acceptable and what you feel God wants.


Modesty isn't just for girls. I think women struggle with looking at men too.... then if you don't, I can bet another woman does. I think men should be sensitive to that and practice modesty to in their own way. Maybe don't show off those muscles or whatever to gain attention. Like for an example, choose clothing that isn't too tight or wear a swim shirt when swimming...
I know that's going to be unpopular HAHA!! I told my friend this and she was shocked and was like;

"BuT DoN'T yoU LIkE lOOkinG aT bEaUtIfUL ThIngs??!!"

And I was just thinking THAT'S MY POINT women also give googly eyes at guys like how men sometimes do that to girls.
I'm not saying to wear baggy clothing that doesn't fit you, noooo gentlemen, just don't go too tight. Choose something that fits you, not small not too big...

I'm going to throw myself under the bus here.... When I see an attractive shirtless guy on tv or something....
(Mostly not tho.... I like men in sweaters and glasses okay)
... but seriously, I do a double take!! I can't be the only one 😅 Oh, I am?? whoops, I just embarrassed myself...

Anyway.... Mutual respect folks!👏

Here is a great short article on the matter... I love this author I highly recommend her podcast and other articles... :)
PlS, check out her women's issues series 🤞

https://phyliciamasonheimer.com/i-am-...

And this blog.
https://www.therebelution.com/?s=modesty

Rose (AKA the crazy weird redhead) wrote: "I kinda agree with Gracel, (In dress)
It depends on the person and I hate to say it but I think it matters what your specific body type is or how you wear it.....
A girl with a big bust may have ..."

I COMPLETLY agree with you on this!! And I also don't have bust problem. xD
I'm not the only one!!!!!! I thought I was a total creep because I definitely do double takes on any hot guy, or even cute guy for that matter. (I'm only 14!😬) Girls have thoughts/feelings/emotions/lusts too!! So yes, guys! Try not to flaunt yourselves overly. I want to keep my purity!

Rose (AKA the crazy weird redhead) wrote: "I kinda agree with Gracel, (In dress)
It depends on the person and I hate to say it but I think it matters what your specific body type is or how you wear it.....
A girl with a big bust may have ..."

agreed

so I have this person in my life that does not like me to wear crop-tops. I asked her once why my brothers could be shirt less but I can't wear a crop-top that showed like an inch of my stomach. she just said that it was different for girls, nothing else. can anyone please tell me what she meant?????????

I'm glad! (:

Okay, what do you guys think about form-fitting clothing? Like skinny jeans and formed tops?
I'm personally fine with it, but I know other people who aren't.

Hmmm... It's weird because I'm fine with skinny jeans, and form-fitting tops...
(I don't mean button popping tight tho lol just fitting.)
but not okay with leggings as pants. I think you can wear those as pants as long as you wear a long enough shirt to cover your butt. I think I found a poll someone did for either just guys in general or Christian guys to take on different clothes. They said skinny jeans were fine and not distracting while leggings were distracting. I can't find the poll but it was interesting to see the results and it helped me figure out what I should/ shouldn't wear.
I think the type of fabric has an impact for some reason. What do you guys think?

Rose (AKA the crazy weird redhead) wrote: "Hmmm... It's weird because I'm fine with skinny jeans, and form-fitting tops...
(I don't mean button popping tight tho lol just fitting.)
but not okay with leggings as pants. I think you can wear..."

maybe not fabric, per se, but the tightness.

I feel like leggings hid my figure much more than my skinny jeans!!Lol
I'm cool with form-fitting tops and pants!!!!!!

Gracel wrote: "I feel like leggings hid my figure much more than my skinny jeans!!Lol
I'm cool with form-fitting tops and pants!!!!!!"

Same! Just as long as guys don't stare😐

but I prefer baggie clothes😉

I KNOW you guys are going to hate me for it but I think it depends on how curvy you are...... Sometimes clothing just looks modest/immodest on different people.

I've actually never worn a crop top I don't feel comfortable showing that much skin, but I know someone who wears a thin spaghetti strap tanktop underneath?? that is also a good option if your not sure yet if you should or shouldn't.

Carsie wrote: "Of course! I definently don't like thin fabric (unless there's layers and then thin fabric is so it's flowy and pretty). It plays a big part.
I do like leggings, actually, I just make sure I wear l..."

yes! agreed

Gracel wrote: "but I prefer baggie clothes😉"

lol, same. It's funny because that is all I wear and when I'm dressing up in a slim sweater or somthing my mom's like whoa.... your thinner than I thought XD

Carsie wrote: "And I don't feel comfortable in crop tops either."

same

so I'm like really curvy, so does that mean that I shouldn't wear leggings?????????????

Rose (AKA the crazy weird redhead) wrote: "I KNOW you guys are going to hate me for it but I think it depends on how curvy you are...... Sometimes clothing just looks modest/immodest on different people.

I've actually never worn a crop to..."
I wear crop-tops because I have a super short torso!!!!

Carsie wrote: "I'm curvy too, I just make sure I wear slightly longer shirts. Not shirt dresses tho XD."

Agreed. 👍
I'm curvy in my hips (definitely not in the bust tho XD) so I would recommend when wearing skinny jeans or jeans in general, go for the high waisted not low rise ones. for some reason they tend to lessen the definition of the curve or draw less attention to it.

I'm not very curvy in my hips, but I've had comments about my butt (😅) so i try to stay covered there. I don't wear crop tops because they actually make me feel more insecure than confident. I also don't want to make any other girl feel insecure. I'm pretty slim, so I really don't think I'm very attractive, so I don't have too bad a problem. I try to stay modest with what I do have, tho.

This is interesting. Usually (clothing wise) my standards are 1) Would I feel comfortable wearing this in front of my father? How about my grandfather(s)? The Lord Himself? Now, I know this is mostly likely to be a topic for the girls, so I'll be honest. We all have or will have some kind of curve at some point. I hit puberty a year or two earlier than quite a few other girls, so I'm already... er, fully developed (you get what I mean.) So, 2) When people see you, will they look at your face or your body first? And in what way? If you're being goofy and have some odd outfit on, then that would be a reasonable reason for someone to look at your body first. This is a bit of a sidenote, but I have realized that quite a few girls on either side of the modesty argument have forgotten the point to some degree. It's for self-respect, to help your brothers in their walk, and humbling yourself. The point of our existence is not to draw attention to ourselves, but to God. Moving on, 3) Would I appreciate or be comfortable with my husband seeing other women in these clothes? Sorry if it seems judgmental, but I have a fully-formulated opinion on you based on how you present yourself to the world. Which brings me to 4) You are a daughter of the King of Kings. The actual and literal Lord of the Universe. A member of this royal family. As an ambassador of His Kingdom, you want to present this family well, correct? We're citizens of a Foreign Land, and are (super)naturally different. Modesty is and always has been a top priority, no matter the trend. When members of worldly royal families wear anything near promiscuous, it's an entire scandal! "They're the face of a nation, how could they!" In some cases, it can make the members of the country upset, and feeling poorly represented. Christians say we're held to a higher standard, but when we actually are they claim it's unfair. Lastly, 5) We are not held to a higher standard than men most of the time. I mean, really. Think about it. An average dude's summer clothing is a pair of shorts that are most likely near his knees and a t-shirt. Then in winter, long pants and a long shirt a good 95% of the time. Imagine how strange it would be if a grown man walked by in a crop top and shorts hitting his thigh. It would just be weird, right? So in a lot of cases, guys are more modest than women. I know a few of you brought up the shirtless thing, but I also feel that our brothers shouldn't freely be walking around without shirts on. We all tend to wear different things around our close family, especially of the same gender, and that's your personal business with your family. But in public, just keep the shirt on, my dude. I'd say I hold myself to a decently high standard, so I at least have some form of standard for you too. I totally get that to some, this may seem to be a bit much. Trust me. My mom and sisters don't completely agree with me on a few of these and (affectionately) call me the Nun Isabelle lol. I hope that none of you take it as an attack or anything like that, definitely not meant to appear that way.

Goodness gracious, I need to give myself a word limit next time lol

Isabelle wrote: "This is interesting. Usually (clothing wise) my standards are 1) Would I feel comfortable wearing this in front of my father? How about my grandfather(s)? The Lord Himself? Now, I know this is most..."

I actually read all of that and I agree! I love your modesty standards!

Elizabeth L. {Attend me, Mortal} wrote: "Isabelle wrote: "This is interesting. Usually (clothing wise) my standards are 1) Would I feel comfortable wearing this in front of my father? How about my grandfather(s)? The Lord Himself? Now, I ..."

Glad it came off as helpful, not hurtful then

Isabelle wrote: "Elizabeth L. {Attend me, Mortal} wrote: "Isabelle wrote: "This is interesting. Usually (clothing wise) my standards are 1) Would I feel comfortable wearing this in front of my father? How about my ..."

I doubt it'd be hurtful!

Elizabeth L. {Attend me, Mortal} wrote: "Isabelle wrote: "Elizabeth L. {Attend me, Mortal} wrote: "Isabelle wrote: "This is interesting. Usually (clothing wise) my standards are 1) Would I feel comfortable wearing this in front of my fath..."

I know, I've just had experience with some girls who definitely didn't appreciate it lol

Isabelle wrote: "Elizabeth L. {Attend me, Mortal} wrote: "Isabelle wrote: "Elizabeth L. {Attend me, Mortal} wrote: "Isabelle wrote: "This is interesting. Usually (clothing wise) my standards are 1) Would I feel com..."

I understand, most people i know at public school would probably disagree, but at my church it would definately agreed with.

Elizabeth L. {Attend me, Mortal} wrote: "Isabelle wrote: "Elizabeth L. {Attend me, Mortal} wrote: "Isabelle wrote: "Elizabeth L. {Attend me, Mortal} wrote: "Isabelle wrote: "This is interesting. Usually (clothing wise) my standards are 1)..."

Pretty much same here

Isabelle wrote: "This is interesting. Usually (clothing wise) my standards are 1) Would I feel comfortable wearing this in front of my father? How about my grandfather(s)? The Lord Himself? Now, I know this is most..."

Wow, that's amazing. I totally agree with you on everything you just said... I'm glad it was long.

✨ava✨ {Merry CHRISTmas} wrote: "Isabelle wrote: "This is interesting. Usually (clothing wise) my standards are 1) Would I feel comfortable wearing this in front of my father? How about my grandfather(s)? The Lord Himself? Now, I ..."

Glad to be of service, then

lol

Wow Isabelle! those are some great points. I especially liked the 'representing the Royal family' one.

Mary-Therese wrote: "Wow Isabelle! those are some great points. I especially liked the 'representing the Royal family' one."

Thanks

Rose (AKA the crazy weird redhead) wrote: "I kinda agree with Gracel, (In dress)
It depends on the person and I hate to say it but I think it matters what your specific body type is or how you wear it.....
A girl with a big bust may have ..."

Men in sweaters and glasses for the win, sister. Lol, "Don't you like to look at beautiful things?" My new response for when my twin tells me to leave her alone.

Isabelle wrote: "Rose (AKA the crazy weird redhead) wrote: "I kinda agree with Gracel, (In dress)
It depends on the person and I hate to say it but I think it matters what your specific body type is or how you wea..."

🤣😂 I'm dying

Lol! But seriously, great points Isabelle. You did a great job with it and I agree with you.

I definitely agree, guy in sweaters and glasses are just great XD. seriously though, when I'm on Pinterest, I'll see some girls have boards of Celebrities they think are attractive, and all the guys are shirtless or whatever, and I'm over here thinking 'sweater vests and ties are way better then this'. XD

I actually do agree, Mary- Therese. I think if a guy knows he's attractive and flaunts it, then it takes away from his personality. Humble and cute is cool for me.

Preach

exactly Kendra!

Also, I just like nerds better tbh XD

Hehe! Smart guys are usually more mature too. And fun to talk to.