Book Nook Cafe discussion

"Fail Better." Nice.

That quote is inspirational. Failure is very underrated. It is not fun to go through but that is where breakthroughs occur.

Yes. Fear of failure stops many. Even on a small every day level.

Before the pandemic, I used to take basic beginner dance classes at the YMCA (ballet, jazz, Broadway, tap). I can't tell you how many people would say in class, I can't do it. I always said. It's only a beginner class at the Y, just have fun.

Good for you, Alias. It seems to me this would be exactly what the class was intended to be.

Rachel, good point about where breakthroughs occur.

Reasonable, indeed!

Alias Reader wrote: ""

I agree definitely- I need more reading time!

Love, love, love it.

For 99 percent of the tenure of humans on earth, nobody could read or write. The great invention had not yet been made. Except for firsthand experience, almost everything we knew was passed on by word of mouth. As in the children's game "Telephone," over tens and hundreds of generations, information would slowly be distorted and lost.

Books changed all that.
Books, purchasable at low cost, permit us to interrogate the past with high accuracy; to tap the wisdom of our species; to understand the point of view of others, and not just those in power; to contemplate with the best teachers- the insights, painfully extracted from Nature, of the greatest minds that ever were, drawn from the entire planet and from all of our history. They allow people long dead to talk inside our heads. Books can accompany us everywhere. Books are patient where we are slow to understand, allow us to go over the hard parts as many times as we wish, and are never critical of our lapses. Books are key to understanding the world and participating in a democratic society.
~~~~~~~Carl Sagan

Cosmos by Carl Sagan

Meditation teacher, Light Watkins, on acting your age:

"The advice shouldn't be to act your age. It should be to act your spirit. Your age may try to prohibit you from dancing like that, or starting over, or trying something new. But your spirit would never do such a thing. If something feels aligned, your spirit wants you to go for it, whether you're 15 or 85. Acting your age makes you fit in more, while acting your spirit will indeed cause you to stand out—in a bad way to people who act their age, but in an inspiring way to those who act their spirit. Try acting your spirit from time to time, and you can see for yourself which path makes you feel more alive."

Source: Newsletter by Light Watkins. (Hat tip to Wes Claytor)

I like that last sentence best because it doesn't dictate, just suggests giving the idea a try.

Books can accompany us everywhere. Books are patient where we are slow to understand, allow us to go over the hard parts as many times as we wish, and are never critical of our lapses.

If I follow out that thought to me it means to be patient with ourselves and others which in turn creates a good attitude.

Rachel wrote: "Books can accompany us everywhere. Books are patient where we are slow to understand, allow us to go over the hard parts as many times as we wish, and are never critical of our lapses...."

So true, Rachel. And we can reread, sometimes experiencing a whole new book in the process, because we've changed. Love that aspect.

madrano wrote: "Rachel wrote: "Books can accompany us everywhere. Books are patient where we are slow to understand, allow us to go over the hard parts as many times as we wish, and are never critical of our lapse..."

I loved the part where he said we can get into the head of someone who lived long ago. I never really thought about it that way but it is so true.

I agree. This is an excellent way to learn about the lives of others.

madrano wrote: "I agree. This is an excellent way to learn about the lives of others."

Absolutely. It has been said that readers of fiction are more empathetic people. If a person looks at reading fiction as getting into the heads of others who have lived totally different lives than they do, it makes sense. Kudos to us.

Rachel wrote: "madrano wrote: "I agree. This is an excellent way to learn about the lives of others."

Absolutely. It has been said that readers of fiction are more empathetic people. If a person looks at reading..."

I do believe this.

Larry wrote: "Rachel wrote: "madrano wrote: "I agree. This is an excellent way to learn about the lives of others."

Absolutely. It has been said that readers of fiction are more empathetic people. If a person l..."

The fact that Americans are reading less fiction and more non fiction speaks to the idea that empathy for others is not in this culture at the moment. It is great that people are reading but more empathy... please.

Intriguing point, Rachel. And, frankly, a tad disturbing. I'd like to think folks read NF for facts but in the last decade i've come to realize this isn't true, either. Thanks for introducing this idea to me, i have much to ponder.

madrano wrote: "Intriguing point, Rachel. And, frankly, a tad disturbing. I'd like to think folks read NF for facts but in the last decade i've come to realize this isn't true, either. Thanks for introducing this ..."
Really, really interesting things to ponder. I guess we read some fiction for various reasons and some nonfiction for other various reasons. That seems so simplistic when you put it like that, but then you begin to think about what those various reasons are, and it gets deep and interesting. I will add that some fiction actually gives you a lot of facts and information and some nonfiction may help you with your empathy.

True, Larry. Earlier this year a friend who doesn't make the time to read as she'd liked, asked me to suggest some books i'd read about African American history and facts. First, i listed the ones i'd read over the last few years and came to realize that the fiction had as many facts, but without discussion, as the NF. Frankly, this surprised me, particularly when i realized that much of what i could recall was more of the short notes from the Fiction.

However, some of the NF books i read & suggested seemed to offer the empathetic angle. To be fair, that was somewhat the point, imo, for the author. A writer couldn't tell the story of a slave mother's sack of goods to her soon-to-be-sold young daughter without empathy. All That She Carried: The Journey of Ashley's Sack, a Black Family Keepsake stood out in that regard, imo. Tiya Miles depicted facts extremely well (albeit at times falling into the digressive prose we've mentioned elsewhere).

So i have mixed experiences. Perhaps this is part and parcel of contemporary non-fiction. Sometimes i complain about the drama of them but they seem to linger in my mind. Still, i wouldn't want some NF to be very empathetic, to be honest with you.

Larry wrote: I will add that some fiction actually gives you a lot of facts and information and some nonfiction may help you with your empathy...."

Larry, I agree 100% with you.

madrano wrote: "True, Larry. Earlier this year a friend who doesn't make the time to read as she'd liked, asked me to suggest some books i'd read about African American history and facts. First, i listed the ones ..."

I actually have a friend who for more than a decade was a peace negotiator trying to hammer out an agreement between the Sudan government and the leaders of the South Sudan Independence movement. Recently, I asked him if he knew about John Grisham's novel, Sooley, that tells the story of a young South Sudanese man who moved from a refugee camp to play college basketball in the United States. He did and said that he loved it for the accurate depiction of what the refugee camps were like.

There we go! I think this is another reason people like historical fiction so much--the research can be spot-on. And a fine story teller can accomplish more than a nonfiction book ever could.

Larry wrote: "madrano wrote: "True, Larry. Earlier this year a friend who doesn't make the time to read as she'd liked, asked me to suggest some books i'd read about African American history and facts. First, i ..."

Am I a wimp if I say I am nervous about reading about refugee camps?

Rachel, not at all. It is hard to read even a fictional account of what goes on in the refugee camps, but it is worth it.

"Mental toughness is often portrayed as determination and persistence, but it can also be flexibility and adaptability.

- I can be happy anywhere.

- I can work with what I have.

- I can have a good day with anyone.

You are tough when your mood is not dependent on your conditions."

~~~ Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones~James Clear

Margaret Thatcher, former Prime Minister of the UK, on the connection between action and satisfaction:

"Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end. It's not a day when you lounge around doing nothing; it's a day you've had everything to do and you've done it."

Source: Quoted in "As I Said to Denis: The Margaret Thatcher Book of Quotations"

Terrific title for the Thatcher quotes! As I Said to Dennis

"One of the risks of being quiet is that other people can fill your silence with their own interpretation: You’re bored. You’re depressed. You’re shy. You’re stuck up. You’re judgmental. When others can’t read us, they write their own story—not always one we choose or that’s true to who we are."
— Sophia Dembling

The Introvert's Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World--- Sophia Dembling

The one interpretation i usually get from silence of others is that they either agree with me or they are too timid to vocalize their disagreement. Still, i tend to be that quiet (misinterpreted) woman. *sigh*

madrano wrote: "The one interpretation i usually get from silence of others is that they either agree with me or they are too timid to vocalize their disagreement. Still, i tend to be that quiet (misinterpreted) w..."

I thought it interesting how we often we project our feelings, baggage, fears and life experience onto others. So many misunderstanding often result from this. I thought this was a good reminder.

"One of the greatest barriers to empathy is the fear of saying the wrong thing or the need to make everything better. Let me go on record as saying (putting you at ease a little bit, hopefully) that when someone has experienced something very traumatic - a significant loss - there’s nothing you can say to make it better. All you can do is to be with people in that space. So if all you can come up with is, ‘I don’t know what to say. I just know that I want to be with you in this. I don’t know how to make it better. I just know that I’m dying inside to make it better. I want to help.’ What we all need when we’re in struggle is the ability for other people to look us in the eye, to be with us, to embrace us, and to be willing to be with us.”
—Brené Brown, Men, Women, & Worthiness

Men, Women, and Worthiness: The Experience of Shame and the Power of Being Enough by Brené Brown

"The view is better from a greater age. Suddenly, you see the entire line--where things were, where things are going, where they veered out of control. The long view. And I think the mistake we make--certainly the mistake I made--was to think too small, too safe. I think that life was meant to be big. I think that people were meant to be big. I don't mean through gesture or demands: I mean big of heart and impact. We are here for a very short run of the timeline, and if a mark isn't made, if people aren't helped or moved by what we've done, then we haven't mattered. Show up to matter, not to be liked. Show up to be big. Investigate your heart and the hearts of others to find out what the big thing needed at that time might be."
~~~ Marlon Brando/Interview with James Grissom/1990/

Very interesting quotes to share, Alias. Thank you.

Alias Reader wrote: ""Mental toughness is often portrayed as determination and persistence, but it can also be flexibility and adaptability.

- I can be happy anywhere.

- I can work with what I have.

- I can have a g..."

Both quotes are excellent. Thanks so much for sharing them.

These are truly words to live by. As many have said many times you can not help what happens to you but you have a choice about how you react.

Alias Reader wrote: ""The view is better from a greater age. Suddenly, you see the entire line--where things were, where things are going, where they veered out of control. The long view. And I think the mistake we mak..."

That is a great quote. It is very inspiring.

I'm glad you enjoyed them.

I really like both the Brown and Brando quotes. They will give me some reflection through this whole day.

Larry wrote: "I really like both the Brown and Brando quotes. They will give me some reflection through this whole day."

Thank you for the kind words, Larry.

I heard a quote today and cannot really say who it is by but thought it was worth sharing.
Proceed as if success were inevitable.

Good thought, Rachel. It's so easy to enter a project with an eye for failure, "just in case this, i'll do that, too" attitude.

Good attitude. Though I will admit not one I am inclined towards. Pessimist that i usually am. :(

Yes, that's what i liked about the quote, pessimist that i am, as well.

Rachel wrote: "I heard a quote today and cannot really say who it is by but thought it was worth sharing.
Proceed as if success were inevitable."

Plan B is my motto!

Alias Reader wrote: "Good attitude. Though I will admit not one I am inclined towards. Pessimist that i usually am. :("

A healthy dose of pessimism should definitely be part of the mix. Sometimes, however, I look at things from so many angles that I make myself crazy.

Sounds familiar, Rachel. I look at so many sides of a plan that i become inert.

That is me when I shop on Amazon. I have to look at every last option and every single review. Then look at them all again ! It's crazy. It doesn't matter if I am buying an $5 item.

Professor and author Neil Postman on the value of questions:

"Once you have learned to ask questions – relevant and appropriate and substantial questions – you have learned how to learn and no one can keep you from learning whatever you want or need to know."

Source:Teaching as a Subversive Activity by Neil Postman

Poet Danielle Doby on the power of small acts:

"When you create a difference in someone's life, you not only impact their life, you impact everyone influenced by them throughout their entire lifetime.

No act is ever too small. One by one, this is how to make an ocean rise."

Source: Ripples poem, found in I Am Her Tribe

I Am Her Tribe by Danielle Doby