Book Nook Cafe discussion

Both ideas are well worth remembering. Sometimes we don't give ourselves enough credit for what we've already accomplished, such as learning to ask questions. This can be a large hurdle in & of itself.

Silence was the cure, if only temporarily, silence and geography. But of what was I being cured? I do not know, have never known. I only know the cure. Silence, and no connections except to landscape.

–MARY CANTWELL
Manhattan, When I Was Young

Manhattan, When I Was Young by Mary Cantwell

The words sound good to me, i must say, Alias. Sweet Silence!

This book sounds appealing and reading the GR reviews makes clear it isn't as depressing as it could be.

Re: Manhattan, When I Was Young

It's a slender book. I've added it to my TBR list.

I came across the quote from Gretchen Rubin. She sends out a email with a quote a week.

I hope you like it when you read it, Alias.

Alias Reader wrote: "Silence was the cure, if only temporarily, silence and geography. But of what was I being cured? I do not know, have never known. I only know the cure. Silence, and no connections except to landsca..."

Thanks for the quote and recommendation. I was not familiar with this author and I really enjoy reading about that timeframe in NYC. My library does not own the book but I just recommended it. My fingers are crossed.

“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies, said Jojen. The man who never reads lives only one.”
―George R.R. Martin, A Dance with Dragons

Rachel wrote: "“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies, said Jojen. The man who never reads lives only one.”
―George R.R. Martin, A Dance with Dragons"

So very true !

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
— Oscar Wilde



Oscar Wilde

Wonderful quote!

madrano wrote: "Wonderful quote!"

Ditto!

Alias Reader wrote: "“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
— Oscar Wilde



Oscar Wilde"

This is one of my all time favorite quotes. It sounds like it would be easy to do, but in practice not so much, sometimes.

"If you're always right, you're not learning.

If you're never failing, you're not reaching.

The objective is to be right. The objective is to succeed.

But if you're always winning, you're undershooting your potential."

---- James Clear

Interesting quote. I'm saving this one for my next argument with my husband. ;-)

lol

James Clear is new to me. The quotes above can initiate self reflection which is always welcome for me.

Same here, Rachel. I only know his work thanks to Alias & the value she puts on his words. I'm glad she shares them with us!

Rachel wrote: "James Clear is new to me. The quotes above can initiate self reflection which is always welcome for me."

Here is his book
Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones

You can find interviews of him on YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/results?searc...

Thanks

"Violence does not spring from a vacuum. It's born out of other men's violence. It gets nurtured and it grows in a soil of prejudice and of hate and of bigotry."
~Rod Serling
AS I KNEW HIM: My Dad Rod Serling

As I Knew Him: My Dad, Rod Serling by Anne Serling

I wasn't even aware of this memoir. The GR reviews are glowing. He's one i still miss, after all these years. *sigh*

Alias Reader wrote: ""Violence does not spring from a vacuum. It's born out of other men's violence. It gets nurtured and it grows in a soil of prejudice and of hate and of bigotry."
~Rod Serling
AS I KNEW HIM: My Dad..."

That is a great quote. Twilight Zones were always short morality plays. We could use something like that now.

Alias Reader wrote: ""Violence does not spring from a vacuum. It's born out of other men's violence. It gets nurtured and it grows in a soil of prejudice and of hate and of bigotry."
~Rod Serling
AS I KNEW HIM: My Dad..."

Thanks for alerting me to the memoir about Rod Serling. My library has it and I put it on my wish list. My GR buds are always coming up with gems.

Rachel wrote: "Twilight Zones were always short morality plays. We could use something like that now...."

Very true, Rachel. The series captured my attention when i was a kid but when i see reruns, i realize i missed some of the morality. And nuances. Quality stuff.

I look forward to hearing your review on the Sterling book when you get around to it, Rachel.

Alias Reader wrote: "I look forward to hearing your review on the Sterling book when you get around to it, Rachel."

I am sorry to say I just learned the library does not offer the Serling book as a Kindle book. Drat!

Vexing! I hope you manage to locate some other copy, Rachel.

Alias Reader wrote: ""Violence does not spring from a vacuum. It's born out of other men's violence. It gets nurtured and it grows in a soil of prejudice and of hate and of bigotry."
~Rod Serling
AS I KNEW HIM: My Dad..."

I read that a few years ago and enjoyed it.

So true. Today I listened to a podcast of a mindfulness teacher who worked with men who had committed violent crimes and were in prison. He said they all had a story within them. A violent father or family member. That is proof positive of what Rod Serling said.

Very sad, Rachel. One hopes that realizing this fact might help them survive their incarceration better.

Yes, me as well. I have a feeling that the men who do this kind of training are looking for a way to improve their lives. Although I met someone who taught hairdressing in a prison and she told me some of the people just were looking for something to do. I can totally understand that. Aside from how awful prison must be it must be so boring as well.

Agreed, Rachel. Over the years i've read articles and books written by people who volunteer to teach writing in prisons. A number of them have mentioned that for some it's just something to do to keep busy.

Hairdressing is a good choice for classes, i think. There are numerous skills which would be useful in prison and upon release. It seems to me the more skills, the more likely for employment post-incarceration.

https://www.npr.org/2013/04/22/178411...

I read a memoir quite sometime ago and it was about teaching Shakespeare in prison, Shakespeare Saved My Life: Ten Years in Solitary with the Bard." by Laura Bates . Above is the text of an interview with the author on NPR. Anyone who has not read this I highly recommend it.

madrano wrote: "Agreed, Rachel. Over the years i've read articles and books written by people who volunteer to teach writing in prisons. A number of them have mentioned that for some it's just something to do to k..."

This hairdresser told me she had one real success story and that the person is now a fully functioning member of society. How rewarding would that be to help someone turn their life around.

A person I used to work for, his wife taught cooking at a prison. I want to say Rikers, but I'm not sure. It was a long time ago.

Winning is not a sometime thing; it’s an all the time thing. You don’t win once in a while. You don’t do things right once in a while. You do them right all the time. Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.

----- Vince Lombardi

If you’re not competitive or you’ve given up measuring your life by wins and losses, try subbing in another word for “winning” and maybe you’ll find your personal Pep Talk this week:

Writing is a habit.
Exercise is a habit.
Reading is a habit.
Saying yes is a habit.
Saying no is a habit.
Saying thank you is a habit.
Kindness is a habit.
Laughter is a habit.
Joy is a habit.

~~~~ From The Satellite Sister's Pep Talk newsletter

Alias Reader wrote: "Winning is not a sometime thing; it’s an all the time thing. You don’t win once in a while. You don’t do things right once in a while. You do them right all the time. Winning is a habit. Unfortunat..."

I really like the Satellite Sister's list. So much of what happens to each of us is the result of the way we respond to things. I am going to look for their newsletter.

Rachel wrote:I really like the Satellite Sister's list. So much of what happens to each of us is the result of the way we respond to things. I am going to look for their newsletter.

You will get a pop up to subscribe to the Pep newsletter.
Their podcasts is also quite good.

https://satellitesisters.com/

Thank you for these success stories from folks who teach at prisons. It's good to know about these efforts.

Even watching European TV or movies (I understand this is not real) and seeing the way prisoners are treated in other countries, it shows our system (or lack thereof) to be medieval. Isn't there a better way?

I know there are people working on this, as i met some in '16. However, i don't hear much about reforms today, to be honest. Not too long ago my daughter in NYC mentioned there was talk of hoping to close down Rikers prison but she hasn't mentioned it since then. (Not that i asked, i hasten to add.)

I'd like to think there is some efforts being made but i just don't know. It's probably an issue important to those who are related to incarcerated people but the general public is indifferent. At least that's my guess.

Deb, there is a lot of local pushback. I guess the idea is to close Rikers and open smaller prison in the various boroughs. People do not want these smaller prisons in their neighborhoods. I think some don't understand why they can't just fix Rikers. Here is one such article
https://www.city-journal.org/closing-...

Here is a recent article about history and proposals. Apparently, the time line for all of this is amorphous.

https://www.cityandstateny.com/politi...

Thank you, Alias. The timeline is certainly vague enough, not that COVID helped, of course. I can understand both sides and am not sure i'd want to have a small prison in my neighborhood, either. However, it could possible help facilitate visits, too.

Overall, though, the prison system is such a mess that a major overhaul is needed. Yet there are so many aspects, that i do not imagine that being complete in my lifetime.

Jane Eyre --- Charlotte Brontë

Well stated, Charlotte.

That quote is so well said and as true now as the day it was written.

Historian and author, Howard Zinn, on the importance of what you choose to emphasize:

"To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness.

What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places—and there are so many—where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction.

And if we do act, in however small a way, we don't have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory."

Source: You Can't Be Neutral on a Moving Train: A Personal History of Our Times by Howard Zinn

​

Music teacher and conductor Nadia Boulanger, who trained many of the leading composers and musicians of the 20th century, on focus:

"Anyone who acts without paying attention to what he is doing is wasting his life. I'd go so far as to say life is denied by lack of attention, whether it be to cleaning windows or trying to write a masterpiece."

Source:​
Mademoiselle: Conversations With Nadia Boulanger by Bruno Monsaingeon

Alias Reader wrote: "Historian and author, Howard Zinn, on the importance of what you choose to emphasize:
The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory."..."

I really liked Zinn's A People's History of the United States but didn't know that he was a mighty fine philosopher and cheerleader. Thanks for both quotes.

madrano wrote
I really liked Zinn's A People's History of the United States but didn't know that he was a mighty fine philosopher and cheerleader.

I also enjoyed A People's History of the United States very much. Back when we were on AOL message boards I recall reading and posting on each chapter with a small group or maybe it was a buddy read. I know I highlighted almost every page.