Play Book Tag discussion

Yes, this is a bit off topic, but I keep thinking someone on GR lives in Pittsburgh or nearby but can't think of who and this is my oldest online book group.

My son is going to go to Carnegie Mellon for grad school (they were very generous since this is out of our financial ballpark as it is for most people). The college gives out information, but in my experience locals often have more "inside" information. He has to find off-campus housing, yadadada, and any help would be good. Heck, even to know which areas to avoid with air bnb would be good (every city has those areas) since we'll have to go visit. He can't rent a car yet, so I will probably go with him to take care of this.

Yes, he's excited! It wasn't his first choice, but he really enjoyed the five faculty members at his virtual audition plus they have a top notch orchestra programme. As for me, even though I know he's a full grown man and very responsible, he's still my youngest child in my heart (emotions aren't dictated by logic ;) ).

Congratulations! That is an excellent school!

That's so exciting, Karin! I can't help at all with area info, but I'm excited for him. They have a fabulous reputation.

Thanks--it's a great school! Rather more stiff on the academics than he was going for, but I'm sure he'll manage. It's amazing how college admissions decisions work when some say no, some waitlist and then one of the better ones offers a generous fellowship, etc.. He's looking forward to going to a school that isn't just an arts school as well.

Karin, I'm so pleased for you and your son. Carnegie Mellon has a wonderful reputation. I have visited Pittsburgh and enjoyed the area, but can't say that I know enough about it to give you pointers.

Karin wrote: "Thanks--it's a great school! Rather more stiff on the academics than he was going for, but I'm sure he'll manage. It's amazing how college admissions decisions work when some say no, some waitlist ..."

I ended up at Barnard in large part because of the generous financial package. My high school guidance counselor at the time (1972) told me to apply because private highlt ranked schools have the financial aid to give and will allocate the money to applicants they accept. I would never have applied or attended without that. It is still true today as I know from being an active alumnae.

I also believe that having strong academic requirements at same time will only benefit him through the rest of his life in a million different ways. Will also enhance his experience and friendships at Carnegie.

I am excited for him!

Karin, my sister lives in Pittsburgh and my mother lived there for years. She lives on the north side as did my mother.

I don't know it well enough myself to advise, but will try to get some info from my sister.

Do visit the Strip district. I love going there.

Sara, who is a PBT member but rarely visits since conversion to Goodreads is from Pittsburgh. We hoped to meet up when I visited, but never could manage,

Karin - just emailed you an introduction to a lifelong friend who lives in the city of Pittsburgh on the East Side. One of her kids went to Tufts btw.

Karin - I am an old retired prof. So many students passed through my door. Your son is enrolled in a certain department. Phone and make an appointment with the department chairperson or his/her assistant. Ask them to advise you and set you up with a current student. When I went back for graduate work, the chair of the department told me to phone a certain student, even gave me her phone number. This was long before cell phones. I can still vividly remember standing in a hot phone booth, talking to her and listening to her -- she gave me ideas about housing and told me to stay away from a certain prof because he was known to spend a lot of energy trying to seduce female grad students. That was the best advice I ever got in grad school. He was always so polite and attentive - about 6 weeks into classes, he phoned me at home, suggested we meet for drinks. I said no with some excuse. He later phoned me again with another drink proposal, No. Then he phoned me on campus with some phony scheme about wanting to know famous women in business. Later, I heard from the department chair that he had seduced his grad assistant - became such a problem for both of them that they were both forced to take the next semester off or be punished. They should both have been punished. Enough, he moved on to another university and she graduated and went to a different university. Other students can tell you about possible places to rent, or to share - or places and people to avoid. I was always willing to talk to an entering student about housing, classes etc. Faculty are your resource - go to the chair, or his/her designate. We want to help new students. Do not be scared of us. Or you might be able to set up a meeting by email today. Good luck. peace, janz

P.S. He had a wife and 6 children, was on the board of a local private catholic school.

First, phenomenal congratulations! I know so many people going through this process, and it’s arduous to say the least. Carnegie Mellon is a fine institution. One of my close friends went there for a year, and she has a funny thing to say. So Shain and I will be taking a tour of UPitt next Saturday, and we will be there. The schools are close by, and apparently the Carnegie Mellon students see themselves as superior to the university students, which is probably fair. I am not bothered in the least by this assessment. But she says there’s some kind of tower on the campus, the University campus, that the Carnegie Mellon students either can see or know about, and because it’s on the university side, they call it the tower of ignorance. This was 40 years ago, I’m not even sure that moniker still exists, or if both schools knew about it at the time. But I thought it was pretty funny. Anyway, I know a number of kids who have went to UPitt, and a few at Carnegie Mellon. I am indeed told that Pittsburgh is a great town. I’m sure that it will be a wonderful place to live, and I’m sure as others are saying that the School will help. I could probably tell you a little bit more by Saturday night. Anyway I just wanted to give a hearty congratulations! Very proud for your son, and as a parent going through this for now the second time, I certainly know how this feels!

That's wonderful! I agree with the recommendations to talk to current students, recent grads, or current seniors who will be in his grad program. For grad school, I agree that his department should be the first call/email for names of potentially helpful students. He might get access to a whole list or message board. Some faculty might be more responsive to inquiries than others. Newer or younger faculty might be more familiar with the housing options themselves. The admissions department should be able to help too with online or other resources.

He'll probably want to use social media to get opinions from other students on neighborhoods, roommate/housing services, landlords/companies to avoid, transportation options, etc. It will be interesting to compare the info that you both receive.

You don't want to sign a lease before considering the roommate situation. If he's on the shy side (or even if he's not), he might want to seek roommates or housemates within his department. It has many social and practical benefits (now and later).

Even if he doesn't think he needs to talk to alumni now, it's a good idea to start networking early. Follow-ups (and thank you messages) can help strengthen early connections. He might find out about summer jobs, internships, or other opportunities that aren't reported to the school.

Wonderful news Karin-having made the decision, now the fun part begins! Best wishes for your son as he enters this new stage of life!

Congratulations, I'm sure there was a lot of competition for that spot and your son earned his spot! and good idea to reach out to any connections you have. As always, Peacejanz comes up with solid, positive suggestions and now you have Amy to do a scouting tour as well!

I was in Pittsburgh maybe 10 years ago and while my husband attended a conference, I explored. I think the tower is the one where there are multiple study/conference rooms set up to look like different cultures like German, Italian, etc. That is, the cultures as they were seen 100 years ago. Anyway it's quite interesting and I think anyone can tour it.

This is one of the reasons I love PBT! So many great things for me to share with him :)

Thanks, Theresa--I emailed your friend and will have more specific questions l later--she told me it's not necessarily the neighbourhood but good/bad areas vary by street and by building, which is good to know.

@Peacejanz -- Thanks! Yes, he'd love to meet someone from there, etc. I had forgotten you are a retired prof--I could have asked you what a fellowship is, but we have that all set now--there are no loans involved (my brother, a prof in Canada, didn't know even though he did a post-doc in the USA.)

@NancyJ - he isn't sure about getting roommates from his department. All of his friends in the brass department are good people, but most of them are also interested in drinking and stuff he isn't. BUT I am happy that he'd prefer a roommate.

@Amy -- our boys will be in the same city! But different schools, ages, interests. Still, this is cool :)

Also, even though the CMU music school is in the top 5 percent, not as many people seem to apply for it; he also noted that they have a better brass section than a higher rated school where he was waitlisted.

The best part is that they really want him. The stressful part is that it will cost a lot more (he's really been given so much) and that we have to find housing, but once he's in place there it will be better.

Karin ... congratulations to your son and to you for shepherding him through this change.

I have no connections in Pittsburgh ... though my college roommate's parents lived there for a couple of years in the mid 1980s.

I've known many CM graduates from various arts programs over the years --- most having attended way back in the 60s and 70s. There is a very tight and active alumni network for those in various performing arts, and that is invaluable and will be there for him the rest of his life. I am fortunate in having a similar alumnae network and its invaluable.

This is just so exciting!

Oh, Karin -- good things always cost. I will not be flip and say do not worry about the cost. There are options. All universities have work-study fellowships. Have your son ask financial aid about them. The student works 10-15 hours a week on campus and gets paid minimum wage usually. I have always urged students to go for them - even in departments of places where they are not interested. The students does minimal work - go to the library for the prof to photo copy an article, carry books or whatever to other areas of campus, even hand carry a special important document somewhere. But beyond the money (small) the student gets an inside look at the university. I can not count the number of work-study students who have met me because they work in my department and have other majors. The have come to me for advice about everything. How should I prepare for questions I will face for employment? How should I prepare/what should I wear to an interview for homecoming queen? How can I tolerate a teacher who hates me (or I am certain he/she hates me)? Who do I go to for filing a sexual harassment claim against a teacher/student/administrator? So few of the work-study students in my department were business majors. The financial aid office can give advice/info about this. Do it soon - the work-study slots fill up soon. They are just go-fer jobs but they allow for great interaction and inside advice from pros - other students and faculty. I know that I have directed female students to take required courses from various people I know to be safe (rather than predators). I am never going to proofread papers for a student but I can suggest the campus writing center or a bulletin board listing competent students who will advise writers for a small fee. In my later years, many of my students did work-study as well as hold down another job. What really happens, and I am not suggesting that your family members do this, work study students use the copy machines without paying, often get faculty to check out books for them, saving the cost of purchase or photocopying. And bunches of other stuff. I doubt that any work study student in my department ever purchased a pen, pad of paper, paper clip, stapler - the norm is to use those in the department. They almost always used the photocopier for their own use. Who knew if they were copying their own work or making copies for me? When times were stable, no one objected - near the end of the fiscal year, the secretary would nag about all the paper we were using. There are so many special connections that a student can make - that last over the entire campus. After all, I know people in every college, have to serve on committees or review boards with them. The departments and the students organize the work schedules around the student classes/practices. School is first. Then we figure out the work schedule.
Ask the financial office about work study openings. Ask your classmates about jobs. Every little bit helps. I knew one prof who made it her job to prepare students for special scholarships - there are lots out there. If you son is an athlete of any sort, even intermural, there are Rhodes scholarships. So many others. Network with faculty. Good luck. peace, janz

Peacejanz wrote: "Oh, Karin -- good things always cost. I will not be flip and say do not worry about the cost. There are options. All universities have work-study fellowships. Have your son ask financial aid about ..."

Thanks!

He has been offered a graduate assistantship which is up to 10 hours a week of work. He reads aloud very well but has a form of dyslexia so is trying to not have to get another job if he doesn't have to since this is more academic than he would have preferred so he has to put in extra time for that.

However, he hopes to get student music gigs and ideally he'll be able to connect with that through CMU. Because he'll be living right in the city this should work--it was too hard with his long commute here, etc.

His only scholarship talent is his music. He has applied to a couple of those so far--one has given him money each year of his undergrad, and even if it wasn't always much it helped, but one is nearly impossible to win--and he has at least one more regional one he's going to apply for since he'll be too old next year.

We have talked about crowd funding on GoFundMe but he doesn't want to post that on Facebook. I am not sure about posting it on mine since I am not sure how many FB friends might be offended. Only about 10 percent get fully funded, but they mete out any money minus fees as it comes in. Some students have done this successfully.

What do people here think about crowdfunding?

There is no point in him doing this business one where you have to give a percentage of your earnings to investors and he doesn't like that idea. He's going to be a musician, after all.

Dear Karin - talking to other students and to the chair of the department are still the best information tools. Also, there should be a financial aid office at the college. They sometimes have interesting info - like a small scholarship from the student body, or a special scholarship for someone who was from Iowa and promises to have a picture taken with bushels of corn. Stranger things have happened. There are lots of little scholarships for odd reasons. Just keep an open eye and don't turn anything down at first. Let the chair know that he needs money. peace, janz

I may have missed it, but why aren’t student loans an option?

As a grad student, I applied on my own and not with my parents so they were all interest free while I was in school because I made so little money. Then, they remained in forbearance until 6 months after I graduated so long as I remained a full time grad student. FAFSA is easy to apply for and there is an entire school office dedicated to it.

I didn’t end up needing mine but I applied every single year just in case something came up and I needed the cash.

97% of the grad students I know have student loans. Unfortunately, it is pretty par for the course these days. School is expensive.

But, I agree that there are options for perhaps getting more scholarships directly through the school or department. It is at least worth an ask! While loans and can be an option I certainly understand wanting to reduce the amount needed to borrow.

My hot take on crowd funding is that I personally am more open and sympathetic to it when it is in response to a true unexpected financial need. Not something like education costs which are commonly dealt with my many people on a daily basis.

While there are certainly lots of details (financial and otherwise) to work out, big congrats to your son!

Applying to grad school is stressful, but I can honestly say that it was a great time in my life. I hope he has a wonderful experience leaning, improving his skills, and meeting people who will be his community for life.

Yes, Nicole, he's going to take some student loans and he's applied for a few small scholarships!

So, full cost of all tuition and living expenses is nearly $70K

His fellowship covers just over 3/4 of his tuition this year (next year it might cover a bit less) and he can take out unsubsidized federal loans for the rest of that. His summer job (not sure yet when it will start but he's hoping 2 days after graduation), our help, money left at the end of this year plus his graduate assistantship position will cover most of the rest. He has to show up 3 weeks earlier than he ever has, so that stresses him a bit.

In any event, once he is set up in an apartment, has is bearings, etc this will be a GREAT experience for him! It's time for him to leave home, I think, even though he'd have been okay with commuting, because we live far enough away from Boston that he hasn't been able to get involved in everything he would like to at this point. And if he is able to start getting some student gits that will help.

If he comes back home for a year or two to work, audition, do gigs and pay of student loans, that's okay, but it will be up to him, obviously, but it's not likely that he'll get the sort of work he wants in this state right off the bat.

But we're all trying to figure out 2 years and limiting his debt because musicians aren't going to make the same kind of money as many other professionals.

That's how I got through both undergrad and then law school. A total hodge podge. What thing I learned my first year at Barnard is to get to know the folks in the financial aid office - from the receptionist to the director. It makes a difference because there is now a face and voice with the name and if you need a little extra at some point, you can get help. In college it was finding the money to cover the airfare to get to Paris for a semester abroad. My financial aid covered the program, but I was coming up short on airfare. They found a cash grant for me when I asked - as a trade for the portion of my work study grant i would not use in the spring. In law school they arranged an easy library job for me the summer after graduation to help me cover rent while studying for the bar.

Start with stopping in to thank them for the work they did as it gave him this wonderful opportunity.

Theresa wrote: "That's how I got through both undergrad and then law school. A total hodge podge. What thing I learned my first year at Barnard is to get to know the folks in the financial aid office - from the re..."

Good to know! I will pass this on to him. He is good about getting to know people (faculty, et al) in the music department, particularly the instrumental and brass departments just in general.

He had hoped to live on campus at least one year, which is where much of the stress has come for us. Living there one year and getting to know people, etc would have been more his style, but life doesn't always work that way!

Did you or he contact the housing office personally? Sometimes they are jerks, other times they are very helpful. There are usually wait lists for housing based on students who do not show up at the last minute or cancel because daddy bought a condo for them to live in during the 4 years of college. Some campuses have special housing places for grad students, maybe certain floors of a highrise.
Ask to be put on a waiting list for a housing site for one - maybe shared at first. I hated my first college roommate and she hated me, too. At semester break, we switched rooms with others (all approved by the housing office). My second roommate was a wonderful person and she made my life better.
So, make a friend in the housing office. Talk to a real human being. They are so busy before each semester that they often do not check emails of faxes. Several people in the office are all working on the same jig-saw puzzle. Good luck. People in the housing office just hate to have an empty space when school starts. And remember that they have to answer to a higher power, the finance officer, and the athletic department. I guarantee you that an athlete on scholarship to a big name department will have housing at first. Music, literature, art - well, get in line. peace, janz

Peacejanz wrote: "Did you or he contact the housing office personally? Sometimes they are jerks, other times they are very helpful. There are usually wait lists for housing based on students who do not show up at th..."

Yes, we asked -- there is no graduate housing available :(

Even returning-to-dorm upperclassmen have to apply to a waiting list for housing. If you're in a dorm I think you can just apply, but the priority is to incoming freshmen.

I realize that this isn't the case everywhere.

While dorm housing may seem like a good fit, I cannot even imagine being a grad student and living amongst undergrads. The life style, the concerns, the classes, the hours, the maturity are all just so different.

Nicole R wrote: "While dorm housing may seem like a good fit, I cannot even imagine being a grad student and living amongst undergrads. The life style, the concerns, the classes, the hours, the maturity are all jus..."

Yes, I agree! Not many schools have graduate housing where you'd be separate. He was just wanting to make his first move simple.

We have secured a one bedroom apartment for him less than 2 miles from the college of arts--it turns out we were on the late side, but this one looks good inside and out.

Congratulations, Karin, to your whole family!!! Sounds like a fantastic opportunity and experience. Wish I knew something about Pittsburgh lol, but sadly no . . .

Anita wrote: "Congratulations, Karin, to your whole family!!! Sounds like a fantastic opportunity and experience. Wish I knew something about Pittsburgh lol, but sadly no . . ."

Thanks--I remembered your tale about one of your sons signing a lease after he graduated from college, so was sure to help my son with it :)!

Update re: something brought up here:

He just found out he won $3200 in scholarship money through his old piano club (can't name the club and the amount together outside of immediate family.) This is just over 10 percent of the money he needs after what the school has given him :)!

He has had something from them every year, but it has fluctuated widely and this is the second largest of all of them. Plus, it's not guaranteed that he'll get anything--he has to audition and write a letter, etc, every year, plus thank any individual donors by snail mail.

Karin wrote: "Update re: something brought up here:

He just found out he won $3200 in scholarship money through his old piano club (can't name the club and the amount together outside of immediate family.) This..."

That is great!