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How do you deal with rejections??!!
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India
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Feb 23, 2015 12:35PM
Just received my first ever rejection letter from a leading publishing house with the usual words (I think) storyline and hook was interesting, but they are not looking now and asking me to get in touch later in the year. I suppose this is their gentle and polite way of saying - go away! It made me think if I should continue writing. But then, the truth is I would be so unhappy if I didn't write. So I have given myself a pep talk, 'pick yourself up girl' dust the dust off your pants kind of talk. How do you deal with rejections?
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The first one is the hardest, but they don't get any easier. You should be querying about a dozen agents or publishers at a time. That way, if you get one rejection, there are still nine potentials until all ten reject you and then you submit another ten. I've read a few places that you shouldn't give up until you've queried 100 agents, but I don't know if that's really true.If you feel like your rejections are all form letters, get feedback from a fresh critique group and see if there are ways you can improve your story and then submit again.
If any agent or publishers asks you to resubmit at a later time, even if you think it's just boilerplate rejection text, definitely resubmit.
In my 30 years of collecting rejection slips/letters I have never had one that says "Get in touch later." I'd say it's a positive rejection.
Congratulations, you have your first rejection. Now keep sending them out. You might have to query hundreds of agents, over several years and multiple projects before you receive an offer of rep.
First I think, "Harrumph" or something a bit stronger. And then, back to the drawing board. Keep on it. There's always tomorrow.
India wrote: "Just received my first ever rejection letter from a leading publishing house with the usual words (I think) storyline and hook was interesting, but they are not looking now and asking me to get in ..."self-publish - don't waste your energy on rejection
India,After about 35 rejections I self published my book in paperback and later as an e-book, and low and behold the e-book was picked up by a 'real' publisher about 18 months later, and they reissued it in hardback under a new title.
Don't get disheartened, keep plugging away.
Gone with the Wind was rejected 38 times, 'The Help' 60 times, and Alex Haley was rejected 200 time for 'Roots' so as receivers of rejections slip we are all in good company.
I deal with rejections by asking somebody else. There's always someone that will say "yes". Of course this is not necessarily the best way to handle rejections because you may be getting rejected for legitimate reasons. Do a double take on your work and if it's good, keep pushing.
Tears...and beers. And public swearing ("What'choo lookin' at, kid? Huh? Ain't'cha never seen a broken man before?")
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Jon's not DEAD EVERYONE!
Fade to black. Cut to commercial. Send the kiddies to bed. Don't take rejection personally. Don't look for any "magic query formula". Don't stop writing. The worst is yet to come (AKA, six trips back to the editor).Oh, yes...spend your free time writing books and making friends (two mutually exclusive pursuits).
Be rational, realistic about rejection. Consider what it means that literary agents and publishers are looking for books that will sell not just hundreds, but thousands of copies. Virginia Woolf and her husband, Leonard, set up Hogarth Press, partly so that she could publish her novels herself, without having to deal with possible rejection from publishers. Waiting for up to six months to receive the expected rejection letter from a publisher or a literary agent is not good for the spirit at all. When I received a rejection letter from a publisher a few weeks ago, I felt free, liberated from the dream of having my book accepted by a traditional publisher, and I am now happily involved in preparing to self publish my book. If you really love writing, you ought to keep on writing, whether you want others to read what you have written or not. Not every painter can have an exhibition at the Royal Academy, but if they truly love painting, that will not stop them painting.
Philip wrote: "Be rational, realistic about rejection. Consider what it means that literary agents and publishers are looking for books that will sell not just hundreds, but thousands of copies. Virginia Woolf an..."I'm clicking the imaginary "Like" button for this comment because all of what you say, Phillip, is true. When I finally landed a contract with a traditional publisher (small independent press), I took the shoe box of rejection slips and letters and we had a fire in the fireplace and a glass of wine.
Ellen wrote: "Philip wrote: "Be rational, realistic about rejection. Consider what it means that literary agents and publishers are looking for books that will sell not just hundreds, but thousands of copies. Vi..."And I'm clicking the imaginary "Like" button on this!
Postscript to my first comment: You have to deal with rejection by family and friends - the people who don't understand why you don't have a book in hardback from a New York publisher, why you don't have a window or pedestal display with a cardboard cutout of your hero/heroine at the local chain bookstore next to the mountain of copies (which, inevitably, will end up on the remainder book truck outside the store). Once you can deal with the strange, inequitable, world of publishing, you've got your stiff spine and hide to deal with the unrealistic expectations of those who do not know the publishing world and expect more of you.
Like most of the people said, rejection is practically part of the deal once you decide to get serious about writing and want to publish the conventional way. Just don't get discouraged about it, sometimes they don't even read what you send, they're just interested in authors already established or if said book is about the hot topic that's currently selling. There's always self-publishing as the last resource if you get tired of waiting to be given a chance.
If you have a rejection, it means someone looked at what you sent, which is a positive. I had one turn down which addressed me as the name of my house! That was how far down the e mail they'd read - the house name at the top of the page :) At least I managed to see the funny side of it! As the other readers have said, rejection is part of writing and NOT personal, no matter how personal it might feel. You must not get discouraged or give up. When after 12 months of trying I got my break from a real publisher for my debut novel Known to Social Services, it felt surreal, but it happened, so please please keep trying. All the best to you :)
India wrote: "Just received my first ever rejection letter from a leading publishing house with the usual words (I think) storyline and hook was interesting, but they are not looking now and asking me to get in ..."If you are a writer -- truly a writer -- no rejection letter (especially not your "first ever") is going to stop you from writing. Nothing (short of poor health) is going to stop you from writing. If you're a writer.
A writer, I hardly need tell readers of this forum, is typically an unappreciated, mostly powerless human being, more or less poorly suited to most conventional pursuits by disposition, temperament, interests, imagination, love of language, and the desire to write. Anything else a writer is obliged to spend time on is second-best (to that writer) because writing is the only thing a writer can control. A writer cannot control how anyone reads his book or, what is often the frustrating case, misreads it. The key thing a writer can't control is how apparatchiks of conventional publishing evaluate his book. They can stop you from publishing your novel (I assume we are talking about a novel) but they cannot stop you from writing another one -- or self-publishing the one they figure won't sell, i.e., make them money.
I'll tell you a minor secret: for many years after earning an M.F.A. in fiction-writing, I wrote stories and worked on a novel and showed the work to no one. No one. Because I knew it wasn't good enough and wasn't satisfied with it. When at last it was good enough, I learned that it was very difficult to get people to pay attention to it for longer than the first paragraph, maybe two, of a query letter. Maybe that means I'm not good at pitching my work, or maybe it means that agents ("literary," they call themselves) are impatient with cold-call, slush-pile overtures from aspiring novelists they've never heard of. Keep in mind that, to make a buck, these people need to sell that novel you've written and love so much. And they don't know you and don't care about you. They are not interested in making you feel good and do not wish to become your friend. What they want from you is vendible merchandise in the form of a manuscript that has about it some element or quality that promises a wide readership and many willing buyers.
Rejection is tough because it seems to say, "You are incompetent. You call yourself a novelist but you are merely a fraud." Even if some people believe that, it doesn't mean they aren't wrong. When you re-read your work with a cold eye and flinty heart, what do you think? Do you recognize it as an example of incompetence? Or does it just seem different from the crushingly familiar, immediately appealing, vogue-of-the-moment that has 9 NYC agents out of 10 in a tizzy to find the next installment?
Be yourself. Write the book you want to read. Write the stories that are yours to write. You don't need anyone's permission, and you don't need anyone's endorsement. You need only to trust the integrity of your effort and to embrace your love of the process of putting words into sentences, on the page.
John wrote: "India wrote: "Just received my first ever rejection letter from a leading publishing house with the usual words (I think) storyline and hook was interesting, but they are not looking now and asking..."John's comments I quote here should be every writer/author's raison d'etre and I have my own version of the same when fledging writers who come to me for advice:
"Be yourself. Write the book you want to read. Write the stories that are yours to write. You don't need anyone's permission, and you don't need anyone's endorsement. You need only to trust the integrity of your effort and to embrace your love of the process of putting words into sentences, on the page."
I suggest to those seeking advice that should not write the 'next' 50 Shades of Grey, the 'next' Gone Girl, the 'next' Harry Potter because they have been written. Write what inspires you, intrigues you, sets your heart on fire. There are only seven original plots. Take one of those seven and make it your own.
If they reject your work, don't take that as a personal rejection. See if they make any comment that can help you improve your manuscript and keep trying.
Yes, it's better to learn from the review. On another note, I just read an article on Story Cartel showing many famous writers that were turned down. It is eye opening.. You all might want to check it out.
Alp wrote: "India wrote: "Just received my first ever rejection letter from a leading publishing house with the usual words (I think) storyline and hook was interesting, but they are not looking now and asking..."Yes, self-publish than they will pick you up.
ice-cream and cold beer..:-)..usually works to deal with the immediate situation. For the longer term take the car out and drive around and think it through...it's most likely one of the two things... Change the publisher..or...write an improved edition of the book
Philip wrote: "Be rational, realistic about rejection. Consider what it means that literary agents and publishers are looking for books that will sell not just hundreds, but thousands of copies. Virginia Woolf an..."couldn't agree more. In Jeff Herman's guide book someone wrote about spiritual writing (not religious) where words flow through your pen unconsciously. Do you really care who is reading and who is not when you are in the zone.....
I submitted a manuscript to a publisher. It wasn't really rejected, but they said due to the volumes of manuscripts they already had, they didn't have time to look at it and to look for another publisher. It was good advice.
Early, very early in my career, I received handwritten notes on the photocopy rejection slip sent by the publishing house. The notes praised my work and offered some tips on how to make it better. Now those notes did not go into the fireplace when we had our bonfire of rejections. I used some of the tips in later writing.
Rejections can be good - it can leave you with a burning desire to write a book that no one can turn down. We all know of books that were repeatedly turned down, but went on to sell millions of copies. One example is Harry Potter, and look how that turned out.
It's so easy to say don't take it personally or don't get upset. But, if I may say, it IS personal, at least on your end. Somebody just said NO to something that you put a lot of work into! And though getting upset doesn't help, getting upset is human. I've gotten a TON of rejections, okay? So I've been there. Me? I often cry. Sometimes I'm depressed for hours. I'm just a total child. Hey, as the old song goes, "I gotta be meeee..." But the thing is, a rejection is just that -- a REJECTION. And rejections can hurt. Depending on your personality, it can hurt a lot. Some people are like ducks and can just let it all slide off, but people like me just suffer for awhile.
But it doesn't stop me. I do get ahold of myself after a few minutes. I do keep writing. And you should do the same.
Rejection is awful, but it's part of writing and it's part of business in general. You'll get used to it, even if it's no fun. You WILL get used to it.
Bobbi,I also got a ton of rejections, and it upset me more than anything. You work on a book for three years, and then a simple query letter is all you have to convince an agent to take your book and sell it? That is why I decided to self-publish. That is why E.L. James decided to self publish. And several others.
Just wanted you to know that I'm with you, rooting for you--to keep up the faith. You took the effort to write down your feelings, and I bet it felt good. So many writers just give up--you did not. Thank You!
I would love to read the first few chapters of your book. It would be a pleasure to swap some chapters - I've just self published and I'd love to get your thoughts as well as exchange opinions on each other's work.
Let me Know if you are interested,
Randall Davis
Bobbi wrote: "It's so easy to say don't take it personally or don't get upset. But, if I may say, it IS personal, at least on your end. Somebody just said NO to something that you put a lot of work into! And tho..."Maybe I phrased it wrong, but a rejection of your work is not a rejection of you as an individual. No matter how much we identify with our work, if someone rejects that work, it says nothing about who we are, just that someone considered our work not good enough. And while that might sting, I comfort myself with the myriad of stories where publishers refused the next bestseller/Booker/Pulitzer Prize winner.
And who knows, maybe you did make a mistake. Maybe you sent your work to the wrong publisher or it landed on the desk of an editor whose significant other just signed the divorce papers. You never know, but you just have to keep chugging along.
Or self-publish.
Randall wrote: "Rejections can be good - it can leave you with a burning desire to write a book that no one can turn down. We all know of books that were repeatedly turned down, but went on to sell millions of cop..."
Yes, rejections do hurt, but you still can't give up or you'll never reach your goal. I'm halfway there. I glad I didn't give up.
And as someone else said, "Get back in touch later in the year" is not an outright rejection. It also strongly suggests that the person sending the letter thinks your manuscript has merit. Send it elsewhere and see what they think. And if that doesn't get you anywhere, you can always send it back to that publishing house.Yes, you can always self-publish, but if traditional publishing is a goal, it's worth pursuing. I do both, and while I'll probably never stop self-publishing completely, I've found traditional publishing more straightforward and more remunerative.
Cherlina wrote: "Yes, rejections do hurt, but you still can't give up or you'll never reach your goal. I'm halfway there. I glad I didn't give up."I'm glad you didn't give up also. I wish you the best of journeys in your writing career.
Oh my! This is actually one of the more important threads, I think. How do I deal with rejection? I don't! I don't waste my time nor my energy letting it get to me one bit. What's the point? None! Let's stop for a second and consider why I say that. Rejection is a part of life and business. People have been rejected by that kid in grade four, by the teachers they think never liked them, by not being invited to the one party everyone else was attending, but not winning a job interview, or losing their job. You suck it up buttercup and keep plugging away. As the old saying goes, you can't please all the people all of the time. Sometimes, you can't please anyone. But quit? Personally, I'm to damned stubborn to do that. Writer's make a cardinal mistake of taking their own work wayyyy too personally. Yes,we put our blood, sweat and tears and thought into our work, but no one really sees that effort except for us, ourselves. Agents and publishers see dollar signs. Tey are running businesses, as such, they need to see dollar signs in your work to take it on, otherwise they will take on everything they read and probably go under in a year. I like to look at rejection in a positive light. First, if a company doesn't do your kind of work, isn't accepting new works at the current time, has a full roster or just plain doesn't believe in your work as much as you do....do you really want to do business with them? I wouldn't. Still, be gracious and thank them for their consideration because, who knows, the day might come when you do a project that they do like and will want to work with you. No point burning a bridge over a business decision. Also, some are struggling. Some of the companies who rejected my first book have since gone under and I'm actually thankful they never took me on. Don't quit wirting because as much as some won't like it, some people will. Put your energy into those people and into your work. Dust yourself off and keep aiming high. It's the business world, you have to be tough and rejection is just par for the course. If you keep believing in you and keep trying you will succeed. I am very thankful to see so many people here being so supportive. The bottom line is separate your personal link to your work from the business link others have to it. I bet even The Donald has had some deals fall through,lol.
Randall: I'm annoyingly over-emotional, and I guess it "leaked" into my post (ewww...). I'm laughing at myself now. I'm used to rejection at this point--I've traditionally published more than 50 childrens' and YA books, so it's no longer an issue. It's never fun, but I'm a big girl now! As for my first self-published novel that's out there--shoot, how can I feel rejected when I'm not advertising it correctly? I'm still learning.
India:
I didn't mean to throw all those emotions at you like that. Looks like my post wasn't quite what I meant. It's such a touchy subject, but all I meant was that rejection of one's work can FEEL like a rejection of one's person, and that can create bad feelings for awhile. But Martyn put it perfectly in his post. Just be Dori: "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, SWIIIIIMING SWIMING!" etc.
Yes well said indeed. Only thing I would add is when you are down to ask yourself one question...why you picked up the pen to begin with. It wasn't to please someone else but your own self. The trouble starts when you are looking for external vindication which unfortunately as artists we all seek (pays the bill too..:-)..).A few lines from my book which may be relevant here
Freedom
Why do we feel elated when we are praised & sulk when we feel ignored? Have you ever stopped for a moment, to dwell on it? Bottom line - we are not truly free, & we care about opinions, even though we may want to think we don’t.
True Freedom is freedom of thought & of action. How many of us can claim to be truly free?
I sought an agent and/or publisher for my first book. I did my research and eventually bought a copy of 'Writer's & Artists' Year Book' (reference libraries have copies but there is so much in it I decided to get my own). Alas, I had no success. One kind agent did read my synopsis and sample chapters and returned it with some friendly and good observations. Nevertheless, he and his partners could not take on the project. I appreciated the fact he did not send a standard form letter and had written his comments in his own hand in pen and ink (a shame we no longer see that anymore). How did I feel, besides grateful for the human touch he gave it? Discouraged. And after further attempts without success, forlorn. Nevertheless, I was determined not to give up. But then this same kind agent informed me of the self-publishing option through Amazon. Up to this point I had no idea e-books and digital reading even existed (okay you may consider me a philistine but truly I had not idea). Anyway, this gave me renewed hope and I did eventually self-publish.
Randall wrote: "Cherlina wrote: "Yes, rejections do hurt, but you still can't give up or you'll never reach your goal. I'm halfway there. I glad I didn't give up."I'm glad you didn't give up also. I wish you ..."
Thank you! I wish you the best in writing career as well!
Dennis wrote: "Oh my! This is actually one of the more important threads, I think. How do I deal with rejection? I don't! I don't waste my time nor my energy letting it get to me one bit. What's the point? None! ..."Thank you for this inspirational message, Dennis! It is hard to not take rejection personally, especially after many tries, but I know it's not personal for the publisher. That's one reason I went with a small, local indie publisher. I just wanted to get my work out there and stop putting my time and hopes in the "big" publishers.
Way I see it, fate will play the hand it wants when it wants. Who knows, maybe one day we'll all get to the "big" publishers, but hey, might as well be thankful for the accomplishments and progress we make along the way. I'm glad my words helped a little...no person is an island unto themselves.
Dennis wrote: "Way I see it, fate will play the hand it wants when it wants. Who knows, maybe one day we'll all get to the "big" publishers, but hey, might as well be thankful for the accomplishments and progress..."I agree completely. It's all in divine order.
Most of us here write because it's in our DNA. I chose self-publishing because I was doing pretty much everything when I was with a traditional publisher. I still deal with rejection - now from some readers who still view self-publishing as an act of desperation or vanity press or below-standard quality in writing and production. I haven't let that stop me. When I get "Oh. But you're not with a regular publisher; you're self-published," from bookstore owners who don't want to carry my titles because they can't be returned or whatever reason, and I agree with them, smile and think, "Yes, and what have you written lately?" A bit snarky, but authors are still at the very back of the herd when it comes to acceptance and respect.
Tanya wrote: "I sought an agent and/or publisher for my first book. I did my research and eventually bought a copy of 'Writer's & Artists' Year Book' (reference libraries have copies but there is so much in it ..."Tanya, welcome to the rebellion... :)
