Goodreads Authors/Readers discussion

As you're all writers of comedy and humour then let's lay down a little challenge for you. No prizes, just the satisfaction of completing the test.

Can you put a tag line onto this well known phrase and as an example I've listed two at the end.

“I think therefore I am,” said the philosopher.


My two examples are:

“I think therefore I am,” said the philosopher.
“Shut-up and come in, you dinner’s getting cold,” shouted his mother from the dining room.

“I think therefore I am,” said the philosopher.
“Yes, but it’s not helping me get to sleep. Now belt-up,” snapped his wife who was laid in bed next to him.

"I think therefore I am," said the Philosopher.
" I thinks therefore I yam, " said Popeye.
" I think therefore I jam, " said the musician.
" I think therefore I ham, " said the actor.
"I think therefore I spam" said the scammer.
"I think therefore I dam" said the beaver.
"I think therefore I Lamb" said the farmer.
"I think.... We have had quite enough of that thank you, we get the idea," said just about anyone reading this.
" I think therefore I slam" said the erstwhile contributor, banging the door shut behind him in a disgruntled fashion as he exited the thread. ☺

“I think therefore I am,” said the philosopher.

“Yeah, but it still doesn’t explain that mess on the bathroom floor,” exclaimed his wife.

“I think therefore I am,” said the philosopher.

“I know that,” screamed his wife, “but you went to the park with a baby and a pram … where are they?”

“I think therefore I am,” said the philosopher.

“I know that,” sighed his wife, “but we’re eating Christmas dinner. Can you not give it a rest … just for one day.”

“I think therefore I am,” said the philosopher.

His dog laid its head on his leg, its eyes warm, as if consoling.

“I think therefore I am,” said the philosopher.

“I know I said you could start again,” said his wife half to herself, “but do you have to …”

"I think therefore I am," said the philosopher.

"Yes, but where is this 'am-ness' you speak of? Your head, your little toe, the blood in your veins, or the recognition given to you by another?" asked the 2nd philosopher.

"I think therefore I am," said the philosopher.

"Tell me about your mother," Dr. Freud said, a hungry look in his eye.

It's interesting that in the Objections to the Meditations I don't recall anyone pointing out that "I think. Therefore I am" is the lesser premise and conclusion to a syllogism. The major premise would be something in the nature of "Thinking beings have existence."

“I think therefore I am,” said the philosopher.

“Yes I know,” growled his wife angrily, “but coming home rolling drunk at four o’clock in the morning … and you only went out for a pint of milk anyway … and why’s that police constable with you?”

“I think therefore I am,” said the philosopher.

“Yes,” screamed his wife, “but did you have to say that to my mother.”

"I think therefore I am... Thinky!" The Philosopher said. "Yes, that's it! I think, therefore I am thinky!" Well, it was a work in progress ...☺

“I think therefore I am,” said the philosopher.

“That’s all well and good,” answered his wife, “but isn’t it about time you got a decent job with a decent wage.”

“I think therefore I am,” said the philosopher.

“That’s okay for you to say,” answered his wife with a sniff, “but you didn’t speak to me like that before we were married.”

“I think therefore I am,” said the philosopher.

“So you say,” replied his wife with a pout, “but where’s the romance gone.”

“I think therefore I am,” said the philosopher.

“As you’ve said,” answered his wife, “but when you said we were having frozen pizza, at least, I expected it to be unfrozen.”

“I think therefore I am,” said the philosopher.

“You’re always saying that,” replied his wife, “well I’ve met another man … and he doesn’t spout any of that rubbish at all.”

“I think therefore I am,” said the philosopher.

“Yeah, yeah,” answered his wife, “well I want a divorce.”

“I think therefore I am,” said the philosopher.

“I see you’re still talking bollocks,” snarled his wife, “well you’re getting custody of the kids so see how you like that.”

“I think therefore I … think … I’m well and truly screwed,” said the philosopher.


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