The Librarian's Husband's Book Club discussion

This area is for any discussion about the January 2023 book selection, All the Dangerous Things by Stacy Willingham, while we are reading it.

Please make use of the spoilers function ([spoiler]...[/spoiler] but replace [] with <>) as appropriate to be sure we don't ruin parts of the book for others.

spoiler: (view spoiler)[ It looks like this :) (hide spoiler)]

Happy reading!

I have just started the audiobook version....got it as an ARC yesterday. I am 4 chapters in and like it so far.

I've got the BOTM copy and am at about 5 chapters, liking it so far too. The writing grabs me, which is always good : )

An exciting read so far! Very curious to see how this story continues to unfold 🔍🕵️‍♀️📚

50% through.....to quote a different book: curiouser and curiouser.

I am enjoying it. My brain is working overtime to try to piece it all together.

I'm at about the same place and I feel the same way. I have a mental list of who/how/why and just when I think its going one way I'm suddenly thinking that way is the red herring and this is the way... back and forth like a tennis match in my head.

Chapter 9 - still waiting for something other than background - soon I hope

I am not only really enjoying this book--it's very well written and the audio version I am listening to is exceedingly well performed but also find it very interesting given the sensitive topics it delves into.

Not sure if this is a spoiler but will list it as such just to be on the safe side:

(view spoiler)[ I am impressed with Willingham's ability to deal with parental/mother issues given she isn't a parent---she captures it all very well. She also does a really good job of making the dread felt by an individual around mental health/sleep issues/postpartum issues real for the reader. It's hard to really understand some of these until you have experienced them firsthand (I have 2nd hand but have some experience in these areas both personally and professionally) -- she does it well I think. (hide spoiler)]

I found this quote interesting. The protagonist says she feels embarrassed about getting a check for her lecture. She says that she thinks it might be "same embarrassment I imagine hookers might feel when they collect their cash—after all, I had exposed myself to those people for pay." I suppose the lecture that she gives about her child's kidnapping could be termed "crime porn" since it provides her audience with a vicarious thrill listening to her recount experience.

I finally got the opportunity to start this book today. And I agree with Lynn about that statement. Being someone who watches true crime, it's hard to imagine being on the flip side of that. Being the one who has to bare their soul and grief to keep the story alive. This is a heartbreaking insight.

And I was instantly hooked by the book, btw! Even with the backstory and details, I'm not finding it slow at all. It's packed so full of raw emotion.

Started today. About 11% through. Good set-up. I feel bad for Izzy. Exhausted. Discouraged. Cynical. Guilt feelings. Best passage so far was about “crime porn” and human fascination at a comfortable distance. So true.

Has anyone lived with someone who sleepwalks? Is it true it is dangerous to wake them up?

Enjoying the book - chapter 27 - the author keeps you wanting to turn the pages.

John wrote: "Has anyone lived with someone who sleepwalks? Is it true it is dangerous to wake them up?

Enjoying the book - chapter 27 - the author keeps you wanting to turn the pages."

My younger brother was a sleepwalker. My parents switched our bedrooms because they caught him a few times trying to get out of the house. One night I found him staring at the door in his underwear and sneakers on with a basketball under his arm.

We were warned that waking him up abruptly or using their name to wake him up could be very upsetting and disorienting. Any time we woke him up to fast he would start crying and would be very frightened. We used to use very suggestive language to redirect him. "Wouldn't you be more comfortable in your bedroom? Those shoes must be bothering you without socks; why don't you take them off?"

I hope this answers your question.

Nanette

So interesting, Nanette! My brother was a sleepwalker too. My parents also caught him trying to leave the house. But I was too young to pay attention to the methods that were used to get him back to bed. What you say makes perfect sense though. My brother and I both talked and held complete conversations in our sleep with people who were awake. Once in college apparently I answered the phone when my roommate's boyfriend called and she was out. I had a whole conversation with him and didn't remember a bit of it! When she found out she was not happy with me! 😂

Hello sleepwalker and talker here! I used to sleepwalk when I was a kid but, thankfully, do not anymore. I occasionally sleep talk but usually only happens when I am exhausted/sleep deprived.

One story that is funny now to laugh at but I'm sure was not at the moment is that I slept walked into my older brother's room and stood by the door staring at him. Then all of a sudden I started screaming and pointing at him. My parents came rushing in and gently coaxed me back into my room without waking me up. I agree with Nanette that it isn't necessarily dangerous but could definitely disorient the walker since they are deep into their subconscious. I would be found in the bathroom or downstairs trying to leave the house or start getting ready for school. Luckily, never actually left the house. I also had a lot of night terrors growing up, and sometimes still do, so I'm not sure if that could also be a factor too. (Also my dad/sister thought our house was haunted and I could see some similarities with Izzy's childhood home especially being grounded in such history - for you paranormal believers out there, that could be an interesting factor too!)

On the book topic, I just finished this morning! I am very impressed by the different twists and turns the story took. I am excited to see what y'all think regarding the ending. I also highly suggest reading the author's note at the end because she does talk about how she struggled with providing the mother perspective without any experience herself.

Has anyone read her debut novel Flicker in the Dark? If you did, could you see any improvement or changes in her writing style?

I'm about 70% through and this is hard to put down. Izzy is extremely interesting, as well as a flawed character. (I don't like them as much when they are perfect).
Without giving anything away, I have three suspects in mind at this point with one of them I feel most strongly about.
The back and forth (then and now) with Izzy's narration adds to the flavoring and drops insights/hints all along the way.

This was a great story and well written. It certainly made me want to keep turning the pages. Some aspects of the plot were slightly implausible, but some of those nuances do raise good questions about human psychology.

This was a good story with a quick pace and I was a little surprised by the ending. I spent 60% of the book thinking (view spoiler)[ its always the husband (hide spoiler)] and while it was kind of true it was a clever twist on that.
I think the backstory chapters enhanced the pace of the story because each time one of them ended I just wanted to be back and find out what happened when she was younger. Both were tales of the unknown in her life but I guess I was more invested in finding out what a child didn't know then the fractured adult she became.

I finished today. I'm impressed by the author. I'll post a review later when I have more time to gather my thoughts.

I finished yesterday. I had mixed thoughts and feelings as I went through the book, but overall I thought it was really good. But the thing that put it over the top was the author's notes at the end. Her thoughts were so touching and I could identify with so much that she had to say about being a mother. And I was blown away by the fact that she wasn't a mother herself. She gathered info from friends and did her research big time for this book! I'll post a link to my review in the reviews thread. :)

I am almost to the end - perhaps 100 pages remain and this is one of the most boring books I have ever read. I am continuing to read it because 1) it is assigned for discussion in a book group and 2) so many people think this is a great book. It is slow, slow, SLOW. The author continues to lead us, i.e., "a strange feeling in her stomach/throat/fingers/etc. that there was something else but she 'just could not get it'". This gets so tiring to an active reader. The book remains a total mess/muddle - with the going back and forth in time, the reader is given bits and pieces, and then -- wait, back to the present. The mother is suspicious of everyone. No one excapes her vile assumptions - but, on the other hand, she is very trusting of some. For the father of the child to come to her home after he has just buried his wife, under suspicious circumstances. Oh, and then she lets an unknown stranger move into her home - I need to have a book that I can believe. Seems that the husband, therapist, and friend from the newspaper all want to help her but she accepts no help. and the lies. Maybe I will not even finish it except reviewers hint at some grand reveal at the end. Her husband did it? There, I got this off my chest. I think it is poorly written. But I will stop and I hope some of you counter me and point out how I am incorrect - give me data, words from the book, not the meaning you took away. Of maybe you can explain how the meaning that you have differs so much from mine and why. Always, the why. Thanks. peace, janz

Hi Janz! I think it's cool that you aren't into this book. Every book can't be enjoyed by every reader. Even the incredibly popular ones. A great example of that is Gone Girl by [author:Gillian Flynn|2383. So many people loved that book! Meanwhile it just made me angry. I wanted to throw it across the room when I was done with it. I didn't because it was on my Kindle. Haha. But I did remove it from my Kindle so I didn't have to ever look at it again!

For me, personally, the appeal of the book was the guilt Izzy carried around with her, pretty much her whole life. She needed to not only find who took her child, but she needed to prove to herself in some way that she wasn't a bad mother, bad wife, bad daughter, bad sister. She was a wreck. I kept reading in the hopes that she would claim her self worth at some point. Or alternately, we would find out that yes, she really was a horrible human, depending on the ending! :)

I hope our next group read is more enjoyable for you! 💜

Peacejanz wrote: "I am almost to the end - perhaps 100 pages remain and this is one of the most boring books I have ever read. I am continuing to read it because 1) it is assigned for discussion in a book group and ..."

I think one of the reasons we are here is to discuss but I hope no one tries to convince you that you are "incorrect". Books are very personal to the person reading them. Everyone connects differently and sometimes we don't connect at all. If you didn't like the book--- that's not incorrect, it's just your experience with that book.

Last year I read The 3 Body Problem which is very highly regarded. I was excited to read it. And then it was a struggle to read. I didn't get it and really disliked the book. I googled it a lot to figure out what I was missing and saw lots of people trying to explain to others how they read it wrong or weren't hip enough to understand the book. It seems to me that we all like what we like and that makes life interesting.

Thanks for your feedback. I'm sorry the book hasn't been enjoyable for you but glad you posted and expressed what you didn't like.

TheresaW wrote: "Hi Janz! I think it's cool that you aren't into this book. Every book can't be enjoyed by every reader. Even the incredibly popular ones. A great example of that is Gone Girl by [au..."

Thank you very much for this response. I appreciate that you gave me some insight. peace, janz

John wrote: "Peacejanz wrote: "I am almost to the end - perhaps 100 pages remain and this is one of the most boring books I have ever read. I am continuing to read it because 1) it is assigned for discussion in..."

Thank you, John. I did finish the book last night. And realized that my greatest complaint was with the writing - the story is ok but oh, the writing. She really needed a good editor to edit out a lot of the dry, nonessential stuff. And I appreciate that folks really read out comments and try to make sense of them. I will write a review in a couple of days after I sort out another situation (not the book). Thanks for running this book site and for helpful comments. peace, janz

Done - wow all the characters were flawed - but aren’t we all. The worst detective ever. Do you think she finally got to sleep? Thanks for the recommendation.

John, do you want us to post out entire reviews here? I do not have a blog but review on goodreads. We are almost to the end ot the month. When is it appropriate to post our final feelings and review? Last day of the month? First day of the next month? I do not want to get ahead of myself. Thanks for the direction and for managing this site. peace, janz

Peacejanz wrote: "John, do you want us to post out entire reviews here? I do not have a blog but review on goodreads. We are almost to the end ot the month. When is it appropriate to post our final feelings and revi..."

You can post a link to the review in the Final Reviews thread anytime.

TheresaW wrote: "Hi Janz! I think it's cool that you aren't into this book. Every book can't be enjoyed by every reader. Even the incredibly popular ones. A great example of that is Gone Girl by [au..."


I didn't care for "Gone Girl" and the many similar novels which have been published ever since.
Didn't care for the movie either.

@Christine - I disliked the book so much, I never bothered with the movie. lol.

TheresaW wrote: "@Christine - I disliked the book so much, I never bothered with the movie. lol."


Teresa, I don't blame you. :)