Play Book Tag discussion

We made it to Texas, but things are in turmoil right now. My boyfriend had an accident about 4 miles from our RV park and totaled his truck and damaged the RV. We are in a hotel for the weekend and his parents are driving from Alabama to bring us their RV. We have no idea how long repairs will take or if it can even be fixed. Just keep us in your thoughts, because it's going to be a rough few weeks, if not months.

Will be sending positive thoughts and hope you get issues resolved quickly.

Keep cool while you are at it.

Oh my goodness, Kim, things are never easy. I'll keep you and your boyfriend in my thoughts. Hope things get better for you!

I trust your boyfriend is unhurt? That is a blessing though all else is in chaos.

Thoughts are with you Kim-stay strong!

Booknblues wrote: "Will be sending positive thoughts and hope you get issues resolved quickly.

Keep cool while you are at it."

Oh goodness, it is so hot here. We moved from Florida, but darn, I forgot what the Texas heat was like. At 2pm, it's 96, with a heat index of 105.

Theresa wrote: "I trust your boyfriend is unhurt? That is a blessing though all else is in chaos."

Yes, he is. All he walked away with was about 4 scratches on his arm. I was more shaken up than he was. I almost started hyperventilating at one point. Was still slightly shaking 5 hours later.

So, glad you are both alright Kim..

Hang in there. Summer in Texas is so unrelentingly hot, lots of shade and water help.

Take care.

God did not go anywhere. You haave so much to be thankful for right now, parents, no one seriously hurt, RV to be repaired. Every morning, write out 5 things you are thankful for. Helps start the day. God bless and peace, janz

Lyn wrote: "So, glad you are both alright Kim..

Hang in there. Summer in Texas is so unrelentingly hot, lots of shade and water help.

Take care."

Oh, I know. Spent 13 years in San Antonio. Just been out of Texas since last summer and forgot how bad it was. LOL!

~*Kim*~ wrote: "Lyn wrote: "So, glad you are both alright Kim..

Hang in there. Summer in Texas is so unrelentingly hot, lots of shade and water help.

Take care."

Oh, I know. Spent 13 years in San Antonio. Just ..."

I spent the six longest years of my life living in East Texas. I would leave my air conditioned house to go to work at 6 am, and would break a sweat before I even got to the car. The radio weather forecast would be saying that the heat index was 115 for that day, and to stay inside if you could. I was going to work in the woods! Yikes--it was brutal. We moved to Oregon 30 years ago, and never looked back. I don't miss Texas at all!

Apparently there is an actual record-breaking heat wave in your area right now. Hang in there!

If things don't quit going wrong, I'm going to scream so loud ALL Y'ALL will hear me.

His parents were on their way to Texas with their RV and the bad roads caused them to shred a tire on the RV. They are both fine and there's no damage, but geez!!!!

My head went to where Theresa's was. Glad no one was seriously hurt.

Oh... I hate the heat. Can't even imagine 95+F! Ugh!

Oh, Kim .... it seems a little black cloud is just sitting over your head these last few months. Sending prayers, wishes, hopes, dreams, good luck charms and anything else I can think of.

As for the Texas heat .... I cam to Wisconsin for college at the tender age of 17 and fell in love with winter. I've stayed here ever since. I am SOOOOooooo happy my niece is getting married in December, and not in June! I just refuse to voluntarily go to Texas in the summer.

Things are still crazy for us. Just took an insanely quick trip from Texas to Nashville to get my BFs new truck. We left Sunday about 8am (took 15 hours to get there, went straight through), went to the dealership Monday morning, did what we needed to do and started back this way. We stopped in Arkansas Monday night and finished up yesterday. Got back in about 7 last night.
I'm so tired right now. I got a nice long pedicure today, which was some much needed pampering. LOL! Now to catch up on rest.

Glad you are all okay Kim. Hang in there and I hope it cools down soon!

Good to hear things are coming together Kim-the way of altering change (like a big accident) can have that ripple effect where life afterwards is a big clean up. I am glad to know you are pampering self! Whatever happen with the trailer?

@ Joanne...
We are still waiting to hear something about the trailer. The girl we've been dealing with called me yesterday and said the repair shop we had picked (it was closer to us than the shop name they gave us, plus had 4.9 stars on Google reviews), wouldn't take it. So we'd have to find somewhere else. I told her to see if the shop they gave us would take it. So it's still sitting at the tow yard. I need to call her and see if she's heard anything.

It's really frustrating, because we're on a time limit now. My BF is having trouble with his boss at work (she was even harassing him over a group text last night), so he's not going to extend his contract here, even though they've asked him to. Which means, the end of September, we'll be moving. Don't know what we're supposed to do if they decide to fix it and they're not done by then.

~*Kim*~ wrote: "@ Joanne...
We are still waiting to hear something about the trailer. The girl we've been dealing with called me yesterday and said the repair shop we had picked (it was closer to us than the shop ..."

Oh Kim! Just what you two don't need right now!

Can you just persuade the insurance company to declare it a total loss? Trust me, I know that isn't so easy or likely an option! Might be time to pull 8n a public adjuster if this doesn't sort out soon.

But keep up the little special treats for the two of you.

@ Theresa

We are hoping that once it gets to the repair shop they will either say it's going to cost XX amount and the insurance will just total it, or they will tell the insurance that it can't be fixed. It would just be so much easier at this point. We've made ourselves at home in his parent's RV and would rather just keep it anyways.
The guy the insurance sent out must have been a real bozo to say that it could be fixed for $1600 when he didn't even look inside OR underneath.

I told my BF last night that we were going to treat ourselves to a Brazilian Steakhouse here soon. I've got a bit of extra money now and we deserve the splurge. It's like 45 minutes from here and I told him I'd even drive. LOL! He's never been, so it would be a treat for him and I've been 3 or 4 times and love them!

~*Kim*~ wrote: "@ Theresa

We are hoping that once it gets to the repair shop they will either say it's going to cost XX amount and the insurance will just total it, or they will tell the insurance that it can't b..."

Oh that sounds wonderful! Go for it!

I know a few bozos just like you describe....

Geez! Does it ever end? I was just checking accounts and the darn GAP insurance company didn't pay off the rest of the loan like they were supposed to. There's still a balance showing. Grrr......

Kim, I just saw this now and hope things improve for you soon.

Oh, Kim ... you do NOT need the extra stress right now, that's for sure. Pampering yourselves sounds like a good plan.

Thinking of you and your BF while watching The Long Long Trailer in TCM.

If you have not watched it, you must stream it.

Well, we finally have a repair shop that is going to look at our RV. We are still crossing our fingers that they will just total it. They were supposed to pick it up this week, but we haven't heard anything yet.

My BF found a repair guy in the park who is hopefully going to fix the damage on his parent's RV. I know we need that stuff fixed before moving because it's a pretty vital part, but I'm just ready for it to be stabilized and not rock every time we sneeze (not literally, but it's constantly rocking...lol)

~*Kim*~ wrote: "Well, we finally have a repair shop that is going to look at our RV. We are still crossing our fingers that they will just total it. They were supposed to pick it up this week, but we haven't heard..."

Sending out positive vibes for you as I know it will be such a relief to have it all resolved.

Booknblues wrote: "Sending out positive vibes for you as I know it will be such a relief to have it all resolved."

Boy is that an understatement. LOL! We are going to have to make another quick road trip here in the next couple of weeks to get the tags transferred from the old truck to the new one. They require you to do that in person, which sucks.

Keeping my fingers crossed that they total it! LOL that sounds weird, but I know you get it!

Joanne wrote: "Keeping my fingers crossed that they total it! LOL that sounds weird, but I know you get it!"

Oh I definitely do! And now my BF is getting harassed by his boss, but she has asked him to extend his contract. She is doing everything she can to make him miserable and get him in trouble. So extending here is probably only going to be if they decide to repair our RV and can't get it done before we're supposed to move.

I really don't know what else 2023 can throw at me. But at this point this year needs to just go away.

Found out the first part of the week that a lump my mom had removed from her breast was cancerous. She's a VERY stubborn woman (she's 76) and had already decided that she was not going to go through any treatment. My aunt (her sister) had breast cancer in 2007 and went through treatment and ended up having that breast removed. My mom says she's not going through that. I think that between myself, my cousin, and his dad, we have talked her into trying the pill that is available. But she's already made it clear that if she has any side effects, she's going to stop taking it.

Last weekend, I had a good weekend out, but the shoes I wore weren't good to me. I started out with 2 smaller blisters on my big toe, and by last night they had morphed into a huge nasty looking mess that was oozing stuff all day. I went to urgent care last night. I'd rather be safe than sorry. The doctor said it actually looked good (to me it's disgusting looking), but gave me a week of antibiotics to help it from getting infected.

On the RV front, it's in the repair shop now, but we haven't had any updates from them yet.

It looks like we may be moving an hour and a half up the road for my BF's next assignment, which is good for multiple reasons.
1) It's the first time he'll be pulling an RV since the accident, so at least we don't have far to go
2) He's heard the clinic is way better than the one he's at
3) We'll both be a little closer to our kids

Hopefully things will be a little better the rest of the year.

~*Kim*~ wrote: "I really don't know what else 2023 can throw at me. But at this point this year needs to just go away.

Found out the first part of the week that a lump my mom had removed from her breast was canc..."

So sorry to hear about all this. After hearing horror stories of cancer treatment, I thought I wouldn't want it, but recently several people I know went through it and it wasn't that bad. So much is known now about treating breast cancer in particular. So I hope your mom at least considers it.

I personally think that as hard as it is, the patient should be the one to decide, guilt free, what they are willing to suffer, especially when nearing a decade of life that is fraught with medical problems for the majority of people who live that long.

Our family is struggling with that with my mother--some of us are willing to follow what she wanted while she was still cognizant, but others just can't bring themselves to do what she told us long before she got this what she wanted--thankfully we don't argue over it and ultimately it's up to my dad (he can't but he knows we'll support him if he does.)

~*Kim*~ wrote: "I really don't know what else 2023 can throw at me. But at this point this year needs to just go away.

Found out the first part of the week that a lump my mom had removed from her breast was canc..."

I'm so sorry you're going through this on top of feeling so unsettled. I can understand both points of view on this, and every case is different, so it's hard to made comparisons.. Some side effects are worse than the condition itself. All you can do is talk gently and respectfully about it, and ask the doctors lots of questions. She might change her mind about the pill.

In my family we talk a lot about the quality of life vs the quantity of life. We don't know how much pain (or helplessness) we can tolerate until we actually get there, so people change their minds. My mom has heart and lung disease (and other problems) and probably couldn't survive another surgery (or wouldn't *want* to). Plus she's very frugal and would call it a waste of money. So (after lots of discussions) we are avoiding any tests that might indicate cancer or another condition that might require surgery with anesthesia. For her, it's truly better to just not know. It would make her too anxious and it would make the pain worse if it had a label. She wants to try to get to 90, but otherwise she says she's ready to go.

Karin wrote: "I personally think that as hard as it is, the patient should be the one to decide, guilt free, what they are willing to suffer, especially when nearing a decade of life that is fraught with medical..."

That sounds like the same issue that was in Still Alice. She was so sure she would be better off dead if she was no longer herself. But after going through all the changes, her quality of life seemed to be pretty good. My grandmother had Alzheimer's for decades before she died. She had periods of agitation, but she was physically strong, and didn't seem unhappy. I think it was a lot harder on my grandfather than it was on her. I really don't want my husband to have to go through that.

If that book was written in the right time period it would be in my 15-15.

It is very difficult at times like this, not just for the patient, but for family and caretakers and health care proxies. I have both witnessed and participated in the decision-making, especially when the patient has stayed what they want and it is absolutely the opposite of what the family wants or in one case, I as the health care proxy thought best. I have also seen a patient change stances as time passes. I believe the patient gets to decide and that includes what they have expressed in a health care proxy. While my instincts were different, I followed my friend's wishes to try everything to add time to her life. She had that right to want that and expect I would respect her wishes.

Karin wrote: "I personally think that as hard as it is, the patient should be the one to decide, guilt free, what they are willing to suffer, especially when nearing a decade of life that is fraught with medical..."

She's made it very clear over the last few years that she doesn't want to do anything else for her health. Shoot, probably 25% of the time she forgets her daily meds. I've come to the conclusion that she's set in her ways and it's not going to make a difference. She'll ask me what I think, but I don't think it'll really make a difference.

~*Kim*~ wrote: "Karin wrote: "I personally think that as hard as it is, the patient should be the one to decide, guilt free, what they are willing to suffer, especially when nearing a decade of life that is fraugh..."

Yes--it's VERY hard to watch a parent do this, but I think as children sometimes we can inadvertently guilt-motivate our parents to do what we want because we can't bear to lose them.

My dad is fairly healthy for 90 after he was treated for two different things that would have killed him back when he was in his 70, but things were caught early and there was a high chance of success.

My grandfather opted to die with dignity at 80 when he had a disease (can't remember what it was called--he did NOT have leukemia, but his body stopped making white blood cells) because he didn't suffer much but the treatment was horrible and not likely to cure him. It was very sad and hard to watch, of course, but most of us respected his decision.

Dealing with cancer is the most debilitating and God awful things we sometimes have to deal with.
My son died from a form of leukemia in 2017 when he was only 27. He went through some of the most horrifying treatments in order to beat the cancer and stay alive. He had numerous biopsies in his spine and chemotherapy of all types.
In the end he choose to fight to the best of his ability, trying any and all treatment options. HE HAD HIS WHOLE LIFE TO FIGHT FOR. In the end everyone has a treatment or not they choose to follow. The best we can do is respect their wishes. I'm sorry for what you and your Mom are going through.

DianeMP wrote: "Dealing with cancer is the most debilitating and God awful things we sometimes have to deal with.
My son died from a form of leukemia in 2017 when he was only 27. He went through some of the most h..."

I'm so sorry about your son. My daughter was 39-42 when she was dealing with ovarian cancer, and she insisted on trying every option. She joked that she was filling up her Bingo card with every type of chemo. Her last 3 or 4 months, the doctors wanted her to be in hospice to manage her pain, and they advised her to stop eating solid food. She refused that, even though she had a lot of pain and discomfort. She ended up moving in with a friend, decorating her new place, going to a concert and a baseball game, and having several visits from friends and family. She attended a Halloween party one week before the end. This was her choice, though it was hard for us to see how much she put up with.

Robin, I'm so sorry for your loss.

I am sorry for both of your losses-but I love how both these young people chose the fight! I have a friend, much younger than I, who has coosen no medical treatment, and gone holistic. That is her choice, though I sometimes wish it were not.

I'm finally starting to catch up on all the goings on of the summer.

Robin and Diane, my heart breaks for your losses. In my mind, the loss of a child and watching a child struggle - - I'm not sure there's anything harder than that actually. Diane, my son is 28, and I can't even fathom the strength it must have taken on both of your parts.

Robin, my friend has ovarian cancer now, and it's so hard to know how to support her. She's my age, but so youthful and beautiful and smart -- so much to live for, and she's fighting, but I feel badly for her, and I don't live nearby. I admire your daughter's tenacity and determination to enjoy what she could enjoy.

Kim, UGH! I hope your luck turns around a bit for the rest of 2023, and that this was just the summer you will not want to remember. Even though I'm sure it is hard for you with your mom, I actually do get her position (as someone who is between you in age). There's an article in the Atlantic that provides an interesting perspective on this, and I actually feel similarly. I'm not sure if will impact your perspective, but it may give you insight into your mom's view. https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/...

DianeMP wrote: "Dealing with cancer is the most debilitating and God awful things we sometimes have to deal with.
My son died from a form of leukemia in 2017 when he was only 27. He went through some of the most h..."

Yes, and at his age I think that was a good choice, and very brave, but how tragic and difficult it must have been for all of you,

This is also true of Robin's daughter.

I believe that if older people want to fight cancer they should, but that if they have lived a full life it's important to respect their wishes if they choose not to even if it's very difficult for us to face losing them.

It's a lot harder physically, and sometimes mentally, to face these things as we get older, and each of us is different.

My mom talked to the oncologist the other day and he told her that the only way to get the rest of the cancer (since she won't do chemo or radiation) is to have surgery. He said the first doctor got 99.9% of it, but not all of it. He told her that if she didn't get the surgery, due to the type of cancer, she would have about 6 months to a year to live. She said she would have it because of me and my cousin (her sister's son, who she lives across the street from). She goes to see a breast surgery specialist on the 7th.

~*Kim*~ wrote: "My mom talked to the oncologist the other day and he told her that the only way to get the rest of the cancer (since she won't do chemo or radiation) is to have surgery. He said the first doctor go..."

I hope it goes well for her! Surgery is difficult, but the pain only lasts so long afterward. She won't have the ongoing suffering of chemo or radiation that she dreads.

~*Kim*~ wrote: "My mom talked to the oncologist the other day and he told her that the only way to get the rest of the cancer (since she won't do chemo or radiation) is to have surgery. He said the first doctor go..."

Kim, that is good news for both of you! You need a little after the past few months.

Keeping you in my thoughts Kim!

So finally after 11 weeks, we finally got those 2 words we were waiting for from the insurance company: Total Loss
So now we have to drive an hour and a half to where the repair shop is and get the rest of our personal belongings out of the RV. My BF has Tuesday off, so we should be going then. One good thing is that the temp is only supposed to be 89 that day. That's a whole lot lower than todays heat index of 108. LOL!
Once we have our stuff, we'll authorize the shop to release the RV to the insurance company and they'll go and get it. Then they can get it paid off and hopefully there will be a little extra for us. LOL! We've also got to make a claim on personal items that were damaged. We do know that the TV in the living room was broken, but will have to look at everything else. We do get to claim the food that we lost, too, so that'll be a few extra bucks.
So hopefully in 2-3 weeks we will be completely done with this mess.