Weekly Short Stories Contest and Company! discussion

You have until April 7 to post a poem, and April 8-10 we’ll vote for which one we thought was best.

Please post directly into the topic and not a link. Please don’t use a poem previously used in this group.

Your poem can be any length.

This week’s topic is: First Light

The rules are pretty loose. You could write a poem about anything that has to do with the subject but it must relate to the topic somehow.


Have fun!

Thank you to Garrison for suggesting the topic.

Title : The Light Of You
Author : Edward Davies (comments welcomed and appreciated)

You are the light that keeps me warm
That makes we feel wanted and loved
That ensures that everything will be okay
And that nothing will cause me harm.

You are the light that guides my way
That gets me home safe and sound
That illuminates the darkness and allows me to see
Everything as clearly as I do

You are the light that only I am allowed to know
My first light that engulfed my very being
That wraps itself around my entirety
And brings me deep into your welcoming embrace

You are the light that never dies
At least that’s what you told me
But now your light has gone...

First Light, (by Julie, a poem I wrote a while ago).

His First Light today,
I could not think of what to say,
I dreamt of Mandela in eternity,
A vision of a visionary,
His legacy for posterity.
His goals complete,
His dreams achieved,
His blessed soul sleeps,
Forever at peace.
I could not think of what to say,
Mandela sleeps in eternity.
Freedom his gift for posterity,
Now his best is yet to be...
I have visions of a visionary.
His first light today,
I could not think of what to say...
Only 'Thank you' from humanity.

Here is my poetry submission for the topic: First Light. Feedback is always welcome!

**Note - I normally write rhyming poetry so this is out of my element. Please be totally honest in your opinions.

Heart Beat by Melissa Andres

I awaken lazily on this bright spring day
My eyes fluttering toward open curtains
The sun is shining in all its magnificent glory
Yet, it is not the first light I see.

I glance toward the glowing numerals
On my clock radio across the room
Hoping for one more minute; one more hour
Yet, it is not the first light I see.

Spying the sparkling nightlight
Dancing in the corner by the chair
I smile at the wavering shadows it casts
Yet, it is not the first light I see.

Turning my head in your direction
I hear your deep, melodic breathing
And I gaze at the silver streaks in your hair
Yet, it is not the first light I see.

Tiny crow's feet etched around your eyes
Deepen the blue as you look into mine
Your heart beats as I lay a hand upon your chest
This is the first light I see.

Easter Sunday

Easter Sunday, and
In the kitchen mother arranges
Lilies, first light breaks

Through yonder window, “Were not
Our hearts burning within us?”

Jocilene Lima, 02/04/2015

Melissa, this is a beautiful and sweet poem! I like repetition, especially when it makes you somehow anxious and leads to a different end. I like it with no rhyming, it flows naturally, and this is the kind of poem I like the most! Nicely done :)

The Architect
by: Connie D. (feedback welcome)

Inside my mind was a place
so dark no one could see
what was haunting me;
it dwelled in a lonely place
where the sun could not shine.

I discovered she was an architect,
too young for such a trade,
she’d built walls without windows
hoping that remaining unseen
would keep her safe.

She was surprisingly strong
and we battled in the darkness
as though our life depended on it,
until we both understood that
you cannot kill what refuses to die.

So we chose to remodel instead,
agreeing to start with a window,
but that first bit of light revealed
a place no one should have to live;
so I left and took her with me.

Most times we live in peace
but sometimes, I’ll wake to find
she’s been building again,
for reasons I no longer ask,
walls we do not need; so
I just take her hand and
together, we tear them down.


Connie Idalski-Dole
April 2, 2015

Stand To!

A silent witness crests the hill
to place a kiss on veiled cove
where bloody rain once fell.

The sob and clubbing fractured now -
hearts beat on distant shores

where brothers wait with shaking hands
to charge into the dawn.

Across the Sea of Helle they came,
from many different ports; to lay down cold
on foreign stone, enlisted on some other front.

Flags hang low and I am borne
by the bugler's mournful calling,

as first light joins eternal flame
and "stand to!" cleaves the morning.

~ R ~

any feedback welcome

Great tribute, Ryan, the Anzacs were all 'someone's son, brother, or beau.... " I am reading "A Rose for the Anzac boys" Were they brave or misled?
Greetings from Julie.

-- retracted --

Thank you, Julie! You've made me smile :)

EDWARD- I read your poem two times on different day. Both times it reminded me of a different experience. It is very relatable and I enjoyed it very much.

JULIE- This is a lovely tribute. Nicely done.

MELISSA- I like the rhythm of this and it is very touching.

JOCILENE - Sometimes the simplest moments are the ones that light our hearts the most. Beautifuly done.

Edward -- Sweet and sad all at the same time. Sure needed a box of Kleenex for this one!

Julie -- Very good! I liked it all but your line, 'visions of a visionary' stood out to me. Nice!

Jocilene - Excellent! As I read this on Easter Sunday, it's perfect! :)

Connie -- Oh wow! I absolutely loved this! I has that air of sadness about it but also determination and, well, sort of a "teamwork" of the mind. Such depth and meaning!

Ryan -- So good! You always make writing seem so effortless. How do you do it?

Al - So short but so beautiful! You can sure pack a punch in just a few words!

Jocilene and Connie - I am glad you both enjoyed this. I was very nervous about submitting it because I wasn't sure I could pull off what I was trying to convey. I didn't want it to seem like I just strung a bunch of words together. I've always done the rhyming thing. Maybe I will try more of this particular style from time to time. Thanks for your compliments!

Until Tomorrow

A heart of sorrow
World heavy with grief and doubt
Until tomorrow
Then the sun and joy return
Heaven’s gift of renewal

Greetings from Julie, thanks for feedback. I love scribbling verses. Cheers!

Hey guys, I finally had some inspiration this week. So here's something a little different :) Critique is always appreciated. (Note: This is completely fictional and not based on any historical event.)

Battle Call

Our enemies have
put up a fight
and slaughtered many
through the night.

They try to make us
live in fright
but peace at home,
that is our right.

We will not raise
the flag of white,
in which our foes
would delight.

Nor will we run and
take our flight.
We go to battle
with righteous spite!

Tomorrow we must
show our might
with a full attack
at first light!

So follow me,
your shining knight,
and we will march
to the battle site!

And then the sun
will shine bright
when we have won
the battle of Chryte!

RYAN-Very well done. It could very easily apply to any battle. I love the line 'enlisted on some other front'.

AL- Once again, so much said in so few words. The first look can be so intense, but the second so much more meaningful.

CONNIE 2-This reminds me of the Cat Stevens song
"Morning Has Broken", and that sense of hope in conveys.

Thank you, Connie and Melissa! I'm glad you liked it :)

The Night Lamp was my Blanket


The red-bricked walls smelt of rain,
my fingers ran across the cracks, breaking mud.

We held hands, my brothers and I,
searching for the homecoming of first light.

The naughty one tugged at my hair,
I slipped him a sweet rock.

Clad in a peacock sari, she waved a smile,
a whiff, she brought us chickpea sandwiches.

They called for us.
A brown leaf fell over.

The lady in black spoke up,
'The children shall stay with the father,
As requested by the mother'.
The hush spread the message.

She fed us with promises, and
He promised of love.

Later that night, we tucked-in together,
The night lamp was my blanket.

-Ajay

Postcard to Uncle

Here is a postcard to add to your collection, dear Uncle. No stationer would print it, so I did it up myself, cut and pasted from an online archive. I thought it would seem more real to be able to hold it between your own fingers. Just one of the many things one can do in the dark as boundaries become impossible to measure. Remember this before the past is swept under a new carpet: on skin and further in, flame like no human has ever borne, intense as the first light before heaven and hell were imagined. No one would see it until 8:15 that day. The person sitting on the steps of a bank was blinded before being burnt into a mere shadow among countless others. You did this, Uncle, though you seem to have forgotten. Look again, closer.

-o-

http://www.gensuikin.org/english/phot...

ps

I meant to ask for feedback on this as I always do on whatever I post around here.

First Trust
        by Guy Duperreault (FB&C Welcomed)

First day of school,
first tooth got and lost, and first word.
First time I was really kissed,
first americano and drunk.
First time I kissed a real lover,
first time she made me cry.
First concert, first job, first hangover,
first ride in a padded wagon.
First intimation of the infinite and the infinitesimal,
first awareness of ignorance and naked emperors.
First time I heard your voice and felt its truth,
first flush and blush with being taken aback.
First awe of darkness and the dread of mortality,
first wonder at music and the unrhymed poem.
First moment when time lost its gravity
and each breath became renewed light.


[Note, Melissa, I wrote this before reading that you'd posted your unrhymed poem! The timing and associations of life can be quite amazing and too funny. :-) ]

Guy wrote: "First Trust
        by Guy Duperreault (FB&C Wecomed)

First day of school,
first tooth got and lost, and first word.
First time I was really kissed,
first americano and drunk.
First time I kissed ..."

And I did a non-rhyming one too. This is getting weird!

You did? Lol! I haven't read yours yet. You always rhyme! :-)

I know! Wasn't in the mood, wanted to make it less jokey. My rhymes always come across humorous...

Ah yes. The 'problem' of having a perverse muse, who takes amusement at undermining what you think you think you want to write. LOL!

I know! I tried to write a sex scene in my latest book, and it still comes across a little jokey. Worked for the characters though.

Well, I think I made up for all of you non-rhymers this week. I have written in rhyme before, but not much recently, and this one has a whole bunch of rhymes!

Lol! Kristen, it is funny how things balance themselves out. :-)

That is really funny! Us "always-rhymers" doing non-rhyming and the "non-rhymers" rhyming! (Say that three times real fast!) I guess we are all stepping out of our comfort zones this week! Good luck to everyone! Everything I have seen has been great!

:-)

*You*

Some things seem so different now
Some things are out of tune
Out of place
Out of date
Yet slightly less askew.

You might be wondering what I mean
And I think that I am, too.
But not knowing
Where you're going
Shows you what to do.

Back is not an option and there're obstacles up ahead
Lie down quickly, don't be shy
Shut your eyes and rest your head.
You simply need to breathe.
Everything can be anything if you only just believe.

When you're finally at peace inside
No commotion to slow you down
You can quickly find your way back home
The place where you were first found.

And in my mess of a crazy life I look for my first love
I search for my first light
Surrounded by crazy things and told what I should do
I ignore all the complaints as I
Make my way to you.

New Life by Nicole


It was more than surprising
To believe
That cells were dividing
Life was coinciding within me
Undoubtedly

And as time passes away
I watched
As you grew day by day
Without delay your features were forming
My body transforming

The first beat of your heart
I felt it
I was there from the start
Never wanting you to be apart from me
Loving you unconditionally

The pain was difficult to bear
But worth it
It would soon disappear
Because nothing could compare to see your face
In our first embrace

Emerging into your first light
Of this world
Nothing less than a delight
And at first sight, your smile I'll confess
Was priceless

Poem Topic: 'First Light'


'SANTA MARIA' by Alex Morritt taken from the travelogue Glimpses of Guatemala

Gazing up from Xela towards Santa Maria
Waiting for the clouds to eventually clear
Her fine chiselled peak in sharp contrast
To the gentler contours of hills less vast
How I marvel at this wondrous apparition
A climb to the top my burning ambition

Awaking at dawn as our guide had proposed
A safer bet to witness her summit exposed
Setting off in darkness to the foot of her mount
Checking our watches to initiate the count
Saving our breath and biding our time
For the effort much needed later on in the climb

Misty valleys enveiled in powder blue vapour
Like mentholyptus sweets wrapped in cellophane paper
Caught in the beam of dawn's first light
Peppermint green, celestial white

Higher and higher we continue our ascent
Changing vegetation, the captivating scent
Of mountain pines and redwood cedars
Suddenly we spot future guides and tour leaders

A group of young boys bereft of warm coats
Overtake us like a herd of mountain goats
Racing to the summit, their declared goal
Our tempo more measured, more of a stroll

Once at the top our jaws drop in awe
A panorama like this never witnessed before
To the north Tajumulco and Tacana soar
To the south Atitlan's trio rise from her shore
But the best view down towards her neighbouring peak
Eruptions belching dust plumes, a fiery streak
From the bowels of her sister, Santiaguito Volcano
A mesmerising vision with her giant smoking halo

The view so special, how hard to accept
A steep descent awaits us, an appointment to be kept
Our driver ready at Santa Maria's base
To ferry us home, smiles on every face
Recounting the experience to whoever cared to listen
The treasured memory of an unforgettable mission

Copyright 2012-2015 Alex Morritt

Narration: https://soundcloud.com/glimpsesofguat...
Print: http://www.blurb.com/b/3183261
Digital: http://www.blurb.com/b/3195786
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/glim...

Melissa wrote: "Here is my poetry submission for the topic: First Light. Feedback is always welcome!

**Note - I normally write rhyming poetry so this is out of my element. Please be totally honest in your opin..."

Wow, Melissa - I think this poem is brilliant - I have enjoyed your rhymed poems and been amazed at your ability to keep producing them but this is, for me, so much more resonant - please write more that use different styles and to think I nearly missed reading it!

Oh, thank you Nicky! I was really nervous about posting it. When others write non-rhyming pieces they seem to flow so well and seem so put together. I wasn't sure mine would sound that way. So glad you enjoyed it! :)

Kristen - Very well done! For a fictional battle it could be real, sadly. There is so much war and devastation around us. We all need to stand together and win the fight!

Ajay - Very intriguing. To me, it seemed romantical for some reason. Just the words, the way I read it, something about it! Great quality work!

Jim - Cool! This seems like it could be a prologue to a novel or the beginning of a story. I bet you could build an entire novel around this one!

Guy - I really liked your poem! I love your title as well. There are so many firsts we can remember in life and many of them can be so lovely!

Billie Jo - Very nice! I like your line 'When you're finally at peace inside' ... so many people cannot move on with their life and let things happen naturally because they are not at peace inside. Awesome job!

Nicole - Such an wonderful job on this it made me almost cry! I was thinking of my son the entire time I was reading! You really conveyed the feelings and emotions perfectly!

Alex - Wow! I can tell you put a lot of work into this. Everything just seemed to flow so naturally and without effort though! So beautiful!

AJAY-This has a strange and fragmented feeling to it, which represents well the experience of a child. Beautiful.

JIM- I think this poem is very powerful. I have to admit however that I didn't immediately get what it was about until I looked at the link. The second read really hit me.I wonder if you could tweak it to contain an unmistakeable reference (mushrooms?)that will wake the reader. If your not thinking along those lines it is not immediately obvious.

GUY- I liked this. Undeniably relateable for anyone!

I've been missing for a few weeks...so busy at work...but glad I sneaked some time this week to submit and read the entries. Even though I haven't been submitting I have been peaking in now and then. Even if I can't read everyones entry I usually read Edwards' and Melissas' entry because they always rhyme (I perfer rhyming poems) Imagine my surprise this week! lol

Edward – I felt you perfectly conveyed the need and importance of the person who was “the light” which made the ending that more heart breaking

Julie – Your poem reminded me of how sometimes there’s so much to be said but we just go blank or can’t find the right words. The repetition for emphasis I though was a nice touch to the poem.

Melissa –Job well done! I remember when I first stepped out of the “rhyming comfort zone” into the “non rhyming comfort zone” it was under the Wanderlust topic a few weeks back. I was in suspense the entire time…what is the first light? Enjoyed reading it.

Jocilene – Your poem reminded me of my own mother who would be up before all of us on Easter Sunday.

Connie Dole – I loved your poem. So cleverly written I think. How we sometimes mentally build walls, not allowing others to connect with us because of the fear of hurt, walls that we think we keep us safe when really its only hurting us and we realize we need to so some remodeling. Absolutely loved it.

Ryan – Your poem is so skillfully written, I agree with Melissa, you make it seem effortless. Maybe one week you can submit a rhyming poem lol be inspired by all the non-rhymers who rhymed this week. I would really like to read a rhyming poem from you.

Al – Your first light reminded we of first impressions, sometimes when we really get to know someone we see them in a whole different light. Short and Sweet as always.

Connie Frazer – I got from your poem that grief, sorrow or any pain we’re experiencing doesn’t last forever. Enjoyed reading.

Kristen – Loved the rhythm and I could feel patriotism conveyed in the poem. Well done.

Ajay – Your poem reminded me of the bond I share with my siblings. Always sticking together an looking out for each other no matter what we go through.

Guy – I liked your poem. It made me reminisce a bit lol. Nicely rhymed as well.

Billie Jo – I love the flow of your poem. Sometimes times life can become noisy and if we don’t take a breather we can get lost it in. Nice written.

BILLE JO- "You might be wondering what I mean
And I think that I am, too.
But not knowing
Where you're going
Shows you what to do".

This is definitely song lyric material!!

NICOLE-What a lovely expression of the mystery and excitement of pregnancy! This brought back lovely memories for me.

ALEX-What an adventure. It sounds breath taking! I love how you described the mist over the mountain.

Thanks to everyone who liked my poem. Aren't we a day late in closing this thing down? It's the 9th where I am!!!

thanks for the feedback, sorry I forgot to say I welcome critique ....
great poems again this week from all!

Hear ye! The tavern is open, the ale is served, the polls are up, it's time to vote.


Stories: https://www.goodreads.com/poll/show/1...

Poems: https://www.goodreads.com/poll/show/1...

Have a great week!

- The mods

I apologise for not leaving any feedback yet - mad week. I've read this week's poems and enjoyed each one - the rhyming/free verse reversal made me smile. I'll post feedback after some much-needed sleep.

Thank you for your feedback, Nicole. I have a few rhyming poems scattered through the older competition threads. I don't recommend reading them - there's a reason I mostly use free verse ;)

Connie, thank you! I was a soldier in the Australian Army for some years and the ANZAC story is very close to my heart. I agree-the courage, sacrifice and tragedy could apply to many battles.

Hi, Melissa. Thank you for your kind words. It really is effortless. I never lie awake agonizing over a single word choice for hours on end or have to run 10km to work off the frustration when I can't make a verse do what I want. Never...rarely...sometimes...frequently...ok, you caught me out ;)