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We Could Have Been Friends, My Father and I: A Palestinian Memoir
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ARCHIVES > BOTM June 2024 We Could Have Been Friends

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message 1: by Celia (new) - added it

Celia (cinbread19) | 651 comments Mod
Raja Shehadeh, the well-known Palestinian author, was born in 1951 in the West Bank town of Ramallah (under Jordanian rule), three years after Israel was founded. His father, Aziz, was born in Bethlehem in 1912 (then part of the Ottoman empire), five years before the Balfour declaration paved the way for the success of the Zionist movement and the Nakba – the Palestinian catastrophe caused by the creation of the Jewish state.

Dates, birthplaces and governments matter a lot in this story. It is about the strained relationship between a father and his son, told by the son, against the background of one of the most intractable and divisive conflicts on earth. They were both intelligent and successful lawyers, so the account and the documentation are impressively comprehensive.

From https://www.theguardian.com/books/202...


GailW (abbygg) | 191 comments Mod
I am about 50% through this and I have a funny feeling it might be an all-nighter again!


message 3: by Celia (new) - added it

Celia (cinbread19) | 651 comments Mod
Gail W wrote: "I am about 50% through this and I have a funny feeling it might be an all-nighter again!"
🤗😘


message 4: by K (new) - rated it 4 stars

K (billielitetiger) | 50 comments I just finished this and its very informative and of course timely. I thought the part about the blocked accounts and resolving that was quite interesting.


Gail (gailifer) | 270 comments Yes, I agree K, very informative and timely.
The writing style is at first a bit dry and one starts by wondering exactly why the author ignored so much about his father's life and struggles. However, as we go on, we learn more about why the relationship was strained and the writing style seems to fit the telling of the story of the multiple betrayals visited on the Palestinians.
I was not very knowledgable about the relationship of the Palestinians with the other Arab states in the first years of the "Mandate". As usual, the history I have been taught has been simplified...the "heroics" of TE Lawrence, the monstrous presumptions of Britain and France after WWI and the fall of the Ottoman Empire, the Israel/Palestinian conflicts but I knew nothing about Jordon and the Arab League and the role or non-role of the UN. As K mentioned, the actual cases were fascinating... the blocked accounts being particularly shocking.


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Celia (cinbread19) | 651 comments Mod
I've already read Palestine, but I need to read this one too. Thanks Ladies


Amanda Dawn | 302 comments I'm glad everyone here enjoyed this one or wants to read it :)

I also thought highly of it and gave it 4 stars for many of the reasons already described here (more info about the complexities about the Jordanian role in things and the Arab league, being timely and the wild stories about the blocked accounts).

Some other things that really compelled me about this book were in the descriptions of all the different factional thinking among Palestinian activists and they way this is shown to be total systemic violence/oppression against the Palestinian even in the presence of some good Israeli people.

Considering the factions between activists, questions like do they settle for 2 state appeasement, or do they accept nothing less than a return to traditional borders, to what degree should it be reform and legal work based versus full liberationist fronts etc. all paint a complex and real picture of how difficult it is to organize against systemic oppression and red tape. Do you bank on what seems most reasonable at the time to get some progress, or work to a bigger more difficult to attain future of full liberty so you aren't subject to further demands of concession from the colonial powers? There isn't really 1 correct answer and it creates a lot of struggle between people on the same side (like the author and his father) in a very human way.

To speak on the way the book clearly demonstrates there is systemic violence and oppression instead of painting a whole other people as 'evil'; I think this was well balanced in the book. It is also more effective because it shows that good people acting in a corrupt system (such as Aziz's Israeli colleagues in Jerusalem who also want to work towards peace) isn't enough to result in justice if they have to act within the laws and mandates of that system. Systemic oppression also elevates things that should not be such tragedies to that level when everything becomes politicized. Aziz's murder is not by an Israeli, nor does it seem particularly political. He's murdered by an Anglican over land entitlement on the latter's part. But, because of the IDF's settler colonialism projects, they don't take the threats against him seriously before he is murdered, and the case is closed after that because it means one more Palestinian off of land targeted by illegal settlers.

I thought this book did a great job balancing the personal and political with a lot of passion but also nuance. I think everyone demonizing Palestinians and their cause right now, or who doesn't know where to jump in to learn more about their plight and the Nabka should read this book (heck, everyone in general honestly).


message 8: by K (new) - rated it 4 stars

K (billielitetiger) | 50 comments Well done, Amanda. I agree; it should be widely read. It isn't lengthy and I thought he did a good job of explaining the historical situation. Also, he came to appreciate and understand his father much better over the years.(OK, its Father's Day weekend.)


Amanda Dawn | 302 comments K wrote: "Well done, Amanda. I agree; it should be widely read. It isn't lengthy and I thought he did a good job of explaining the historical situation. Also, he came to appreciate and understand his father ..."

Thanks, K! I suppose it is thematically timely for father's day, I hadn't realized that before :)


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