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Sapphira's mind was battling between the green and red flags. Which did she believe? Which could she trust? Was Hayden good or bad? It was a hard decision, and she really couldn't decide. Everything weighed itself out right now. There was no perfect factor that would tip Hayden over the edge on either side so she remained neutral. There was no point on trying and making more preconceptions, that hadn't gone well the first time. She would just go on the facts, what she's seen and heard. And so far, she had some but not enough to make a judgement on if Hayden was going to be a hero or a villain in her book. She was certainly leaning hero, the woman had done so much work towards everything, but there was always one detail that the woman had left out that made her suspicious. For example overthrowing the government and nobles but not mentioning getting rid of her own noble title. She could have added easily a 'i'd gladly get rid of it' because the nobles had been so cruel to her, or a 'even though i'm hesitant, I'd get rid of it because it would support my goal', but no, she'd given nothing. There were a few of those moment that made Sapphira hesitant on fully trusting Hayden. But overall, she believed the woman was a good person with a terrible past. Perhaps the past had transformed her into who she'd become today, that was a very believable story, one she hoped was true as well. She had to remember, remind herself, that even though she'd 'known' Hayden for three months at this point, that was not enough to fully trust the woman. This was only their first one on one interaction and true conversation. There was a lot more 'get to know' and stuff that needed to happen before Hayden was fully trustable but for now, Sapphira was happy to call the woman a trustable acquaintance.
They in fact were still definitely acquaintances. She had no clue why she had made such an offer as to talk together about their experienced being bullied. "Sorry," Sapphira said noticing Hayden's newfound discomfort in the situation. Even thought the topic was lighter on her now that she'd overcome the words-- not the fear of the people who said those words-- she was more open to talking about it. Her own self reflection and the way she'd spent her time with other people had retaught her about her own self worth, something that had been forgotten when she was bullied. Although that was her situation, it wasn't everyone's. Hayden may never want to talk about it, or she may still carry the scars of it, like the occasional nasty comments that flew through her mind. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. It's too sensitive of a topic," she said, apologizing again. She felt guilty. Bad that she had caused so much discomfort to the other councillor and that she had been so careless as to forget that everyone handles experiences differently. That included Hayden because the woman was human, not because she was noble or common-born, because she was human.
A new lighter thought entered her mind, one that was kinder then the assumptions she'd made that were most likely not true (she had made a promise of no more preconceptions to herself so all options are welcome). "If you're ever open to the idea, let me know. No pressure to say yes though. I realize it's a sudden topic and really weird coming from a coworker who you just met for the first time." That last part was kind of funny to her. She was way to open for her own good. She knew that somehow, her easy openness in someone would backfire. Sure, she had walls, but were they crumbled easily. And in this new world of nobility and councillors that was not a good thing, that was a terrible thing. That would cause her great harm. She could imagine the rumors and the stories and everything else travelling around her in her new life just like it had in Cogsworth.
NO. Snap out of it. She had to make a point to leave the Cogsworth bullying behind her. At some point if she was persistent enough that voice in her head with all of the negativity that was thrown at her would be dispelled from her. If she kept up being positive for herself, then it would mean that all of the bullying scars, the mental ones, would be healed. Sure, they were healed now, but maybe one day she wouldn't even have bad thoughts anymore. That's what she truly wished for. A perfect utopian mind. A wish that won't happen. More negative thoughts, but utopias never happen, if they do they fall apart worse then a non-utopian society.
Sure, her mind was a mess, but what about the rest of her. How well had she recovered from all of those bullies. Well, the scars on her wrists and arms had disappeared, mostly. Her mind was still in an uphill battle since those words are programmed into it after so many years of hearing them. But otherwise, she was doing pretty well for herself. Sure, she worked in a toxic community of nobles, that wasn't the part she liked, but she did help the people she loved and grew up with. The people who believed in her and gave her more chances then she deserved to prove herself to them. Her two biggest supporters: Ruby and Micheal Daenerys.
Her parents had shown her so much love throughout her life. Giving her everything they could, sacrificing to pay for her Cogsworth education, and now that she is successful, they still give to her like she's a precious jewel in their lives. Sapphira still remembers the gift her father gave her the moment he saw her after hearing the news of her won election: the exact gorgeous white dress she was wearing. Often times, she never told anyone the meaning behind the dress or much of the clothing she had, it did fit in well with the nobility, but it was all, mostly all, gifts. The shoes were never gifts but everything else was. The fancy dresses, the three purses, the hair accessories (those were from when she was younger and not a councillor though), and more. She did have normal clothes, but with everything everyone gave her, and the fact that she felt rude to reject a gift, she often wore the nice clothes. It did feel a bit stuck-up at times but she hated feeling rude and not wearing the gifts she'd received from other people.
When she had become a councillor, the people had started giving her gifts of dresses and accessories to thank her for her efforts and service. At the time, she had had no clue what to do so she accepted them with gratitude and made an effort to wear them. Eventually it had become too many and she had had to sit down and contemplate a solution. The one she'd come up with was an address to the people that had never reached the ears of nobility. The address had asked kindly to stop of gifts and donations directly to her and to start donating and volunteering for any of her charities. It had been a perfect solution and solved all of her problems in the moment. In the aftermath however, it had left her with plenty of guilt since she felt that she should have done the address sooner. She always reminded herself that the hours she'd spent thinking of how to write the address and what to do were something she'd done then and not before. She hadn't had the ideas. Now, she walked with that guilt wondering if she should sell some of the dresses that she couldn't wear of guilt but that brings her more guilt, selling a gift.
Besides that catastrophe in her life, she sees herself as sunshine and rainbows. That's a complete lie, there is also the council drama in her life that makes it miserable. BUT besides that as well, her life is sunshine and rainbows. She gets to spend her days in a small apartment that she bought and lives from in the middle of the city. It's not the fanciest place but it's home. She also got to spend her free time, or the parts of her days that it's scheduled for volunteering like she had done before she was a councillor. Spending time with the friends and families that needed assistance, laughing, sharing stories, wisdom, and creating the best of memories for them to share together.
Of her memories, the newest were her fresh from the paper charity. The one she'd overlooked the day prior for the disabled. The goal target of the charity was to get anyone who needed the monetary assistance to get the medical attention and equipment to them. It had been a hard thing to plan. Almost two months total. And now that she had succeeded it was hard watching it run. Making a charity organization from scratch was a brand new concept but she'd succeeded.
The Thornes family had been working in the hospitals longer then she could remember. They were a family of doctors and surgeons dedicating their lives to saving the lives of others. In the inflationary trading community, the accessibility to everything was becoming harder. That included the job of the Thornes. She knew the family was doing their best and trying hard to improve medical care and the accessibility to it however, that didn't mean it worked for everyone.
With the demand for trading more valuable items, the lowest class of Voxthain was being abandoned. Left homeless and hungry. Leaving them to die of illness. This Sapphira knew was something the Thornes had missed, they were making it more affordable yes but, they weren't giving aid to those who needed medical care and couldn't pay for it.
"While improvements are being made for citizens of Voxthain, which I greatly appreciate, I have to focus on the depth of the issue that the Thornes are facing. They've made an ambitious goal to help make healthcare more accessible to all citizens." There was a short pause. "There are still citizens struggling. The ones with nothing to trade. I've watched before as they were turned away because they had nothing to their name, it's terrible." She pauses again, letting it sink in. The fact that there were people who couldn't get help was terrible in her eyes. She hated the thought and the reality. If she could, she'd make an aid fund for them, but that was outside her ability. There was a noble family in charge of the medical field, that meant she had no place to make input on their works. Plus, the Thornes were a noble family. And while they had good intentions on the outside, Sapphira wouldn't let herself be manipulated and framed as a villain so easily-- even though it was only a small possibility.
Another reason behind her hesitance to assist was because she already was doing so much. She had no time or room in her schedule to add another issue. She had to leave it entirely to the Thornes to fix the problems with the Voxthain healthcare system.
Before being a councillor, whenever she volunteered in the workplace, she always saw accidents causing hospital visits was the workplace. All of the injuries and everything else that she had to do for them. She had to fight for them. But how? How did the councillors fight for their people? How did they voice their opinions? "What would you do?" she finally asked, "If you wanted to fight for something so broad. Workplace rights. There are so many twists and turns in the subject that I have no idea where to start. Do I draft a bill for the council? Do I give a speech to the people?" She paused taking a breath. There was so much to do for them, and she hadn't gotten to look at the situation in a while. it could only have gotten worse. "There is so little safety code in the machines fields that workers are getting life changing injuries, almost to the point of once a day. I've noticed that some of them are the ones in need of the disabilities charity I run which brings me to the poor salary. Then there is just the simple things like having a healthy workday and work schedule." She explained briefly to Hayden what she was looking at, what she had to fight for. "What would you do to start?" she asked again, repeating her first question.
Becoming a councillor had been so new to her, quite overwhelming. She had so much new power, she could make so many changes. She had the ability to fight for her people. It was all a lot for her to take in. And with all of that combined it was so overwhelming. The charities, the volunteering, the council meetings, the crippling society, the dangers, the plans, the plots, the problems, the solutions, the late nights, the early mornings, the tears, the struggles...
It all was just.. overwhelming.
Sometimes, Sapphira wondered when she'd crash, or when her mind would finally settle on one topic rather then thinking about the current and next three things she had to handle. The stress she felt on the council was overwhelming. She had a responsibility that she felt she had to complete but she had no clue how. No clue at all how. Where to start, where to end, or what that responsibility was. All she knew was that she cared for the people. The people were her priority. The people came first. Everything else came second, including Hayden, no matter how much that woman fought for the same thing she did.
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 𝑪𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒊𝒂 𝑯𝒂𝒚𝒅𝒆𝒏Caledonia nodded slowly, the question not entirely unexpected. A wave of frustration rose inside her, tightening across her chest, and she shook her head once, trying to dispel it. Sapphira was not who she was frustrated at, merely some of the other Councilors. "Well, first you have Lorelei Delacroix." Cal's green eyes flashed as her nose wrinkled once in a slight show if disgust. "She's a noble, House Delacroix, one of the oldest houses and one with one of the top reputations for being classist. She's manipulative, toxic, and incredibly selfish. Maybe she tries to act nice on Council, but I've--I've had the unfortunate circumstances to see her at galas before, and she's...just...avoid her, if you can. She has nobody's interests at heart except her own. Lucien Wyver. Also noble." Leaning her head back and tapping her fingers on the bench, Cal thought about him. Truly, from what she gathered, she and Lucien weren't exactly different in terms of behavior. Both tended to avoid people, she had noticed, but spoke when they had to. Still. He was born to nobility, and yet...while Cal hated most nobles with a passion, she also knew she would have been dead without her mother, and so passing the same judgement on to all of them was wrong. "He's complicated," she finally replied slowly. "From a noble family that, thankfully, isn't classist, and they're better people than the Delacroix or Calicos. He always speaks when he has to, and is very concerned with finding a solution to the shadowfog, which truly, is better than what I can say for most other nobility. He cares about making sure no one else dies from it, so I can speak to him about it without wanting to tear his eyes from his head." Was that a violent statement? Yes. But Cal was not ever always for being a kind person among the nobility and Council--she would tell them off if she had to, no problem. Who else? Right, Venus. "Venus Ellsworth. Commoner, but born very wealthy. Still, compassionate and kind enough, I suppose, but being born and raised with a lot and having no experience of ever going hungry will color your view of the world very pink, so just...sometimes, she needs a bit of a reality check, as far as I'm personally concerned." Because even though Cal was raised by nobles, she had had years in her youth where she had hardly been raised at all. Starving in a cold, abusive orphanage didn't tend to get forgotten easily, as much as she tried to block it out over the years. ((and everyone else is not made yet/no info or name on profiles so I apologize)). "So. Those are some of them."
That wouldn't be a bad idea, really, that the militia could become public, but it would introduce an issue being that someone still had to run it. Maybe it would be better run by someone else, but Cal knew her mother had done all she could to change it, from when she had been younger and through now, as Cal, too, fought to make a good difference for the people who actually needed it. She and her mother had absolutely no qualms about arresting and/or firing anyone who abused their power, because truly, all Cal wanted was a system that actually kept the vulnerable safe--until, of course, they were in a position to do so themselves. She knew the pain of being helpless, of relying only on herself, and sometimes, it could get overwhelming, as much as that was what she tended to do anyway. Trust was not something the brunette gave out easily, and it never would be. Only two people alive had her trust in anything close to capacity, and even then, she still masked some things in front of the only one of the two she spoke to anymore. Mama would always have her trust now, but not all of it. So, that was why Cal spent afternoons teaching kids self defense. She set up a program for any child who wanted to learn, both at Cogsworks and at the orphanages she visited. She didn't want these kids to be hurt, and what if they were somehow in a situation where the militia wasn't there to keep them safe? Or the mysterious killer was after them? In short, she did all she could to change the militia, and it was working, largely, even if it made a lot of people angry.
Voxtahin needed a peacekeeping force--and Cal would resolutely stand to make it a real one. Not some twisted system that was only keeping peace for the rich and the powerful. If Sapphira o someone else, if change ever happened, could think of a way to make it public that would be more beneficial to people than it was now, Cal would listen and help.
It wasn't like the woman had actively planned to overthrow the nobility, but it hadn't also been just a passing fancy either. She had been mistreated by nobility--abused, bullied, all of it--nonstop, both at Cogsworks, galas, and, worst of all, at home, and she had therefore seen the disgusting ways in which these people acted more than other common-born individuals. She had seen a broken system not many other nobles did, and with the influence she had, it had crossed her mind she may be able to make a real difference--both with the militia training and resources, inside information into noble functions, and being a Councilor.
"Right," Cal agreed with a nod and a glance at Sapphira, still keeping her voice quieter. "Which I think is something we don't have now--because the nobles are the ones who hold everything except the political power, but with just how much...shit they all have control over, it may as well be. Rigging elections, always having a Delacroix in the Council...it's not right." As she spoke, though, she did know with a sinking feeling that her mother's own holdings would have to change. The last thing Caledonia wanted in this world was to bestow pain upon the only person she loved, but she also knew Katarina Hayden well enough to know that her mother would take the peoples' side. She, even before she had adopted Cal, had been the first to try and change the militia. She had stood up for people at school, she was never classist, and she still aimed to do right by every single citizen. Cal had faith in her, and trust in her, too. As much as she could give out, anyway. But at Sapphira's next words, she paused. Part of her believed she understood what the other woman was saying, but the other part pf her didn't quite like how it had been worded, and an itch broke out across her spine. Taking a deep breath so as to not let her frustration get the best of her, Cal took a moment to center herself before speaking. At least she'd gotten a little better about that over the years.
"Yes, we would need to rearrange everything. But I refuse to dismantle the families if you meant separate mother from sister, brother from father, that sort of thing," she stated, firmly. "I am not tearing the noble families apart unless I have to, not in that way. I hope you just meant take them from owning all they do, which, yes, I could get behind that. Maybe force all of us to...to consolidate resources, I don't know, and give them out to people who need them, and let the Council decide how to proceed--how to determine how hospitals are run, the militia, the damn media. Because again, the Council is an ideal way to run Voxthain, people elected from all walks of life. The problem is the nobility thinking they can override or rig that system, so I agree having a solid set of rules, some sort of constitution, like you said, would be the way to go. I just refuse to throw most of the nobles into the streets. Delacroix and Calicos and Seavys, yes. But I refuse to send my mother, the Thornes, and the Ellington-Wyvers into utter poverty." Her green eyes were hard, and she was uncompromising on this. Those families cared, they all had a mix of commoners and noble-born in them. "And the problem also becomes finding a way for everyone to run things. I just...honestly? Part of me sees why certain families control certain aspects of Voxthain. Someone has to run them. I just think the way some people do it is wrong. Maybe the people can run them, but how that would work is something we and the Council would have to figure out, I believe. Maybe the council runs everything?" She suggested. "That way, ownership changes every few years, so nobody gets a monopoly and a grip on things that can't be torn away."
If Cal had known that, she would have walked out on Sapphira here and there, fuming. Omnipotent? Was she kidding? Once again, though, it was the classic case of nobody seeing Cal for who she was and who she was unafraid to be: someone who was not fully a noble and would never in a million years give up her past. It was a part of her, her blood was a part of her, and she made no attempt to hide that. So how Sapphira could be so damn clueless, if Cal had known, was infuriating, and beyond her. Some people were denser than others, though, and she worried Sapphira may be one of them.
Cal stared at her for a solid minute before she pressed her lips together. "That's not at all true," she finally stated in a flat voice, but nevertheless tinged with a small surge of anger she tried to keep to just frustration, though she could feel her blood burning. "None of us are making progress on the damn shadowfog, but we are trying. Unsure where you got the idea any one of us has progress on it. And don't make assumptions, it's rude," she added, a bit of the ice inside her chipping forth as her eyes went from the color of darker emeralds to a spruce forest at sundown. "We are all working on it. Me, Councilor Wyver, and Counilor --- ((idk his name, isabella's wip)). Each and every one of us is concerned about it, and while maybe you're right that some nobles in general may be worried about their families, I care about the people and my own mother. I am trying to work with Asterath for more supplies, shelter, anything they can give our people. Don't keep thinking I'm just a noble, Daenerys. And Councilor --- is also common-born, so your perception about who is caring about what is also skewed. Though I suppose you've only been with us three months, so you don't have a good understanding, nor an accurate one, on what we have been aiming to do for years. Wyver's parents were killed by the shadowfog, and almost my entire continent was destroyed by it." The words rushed in her ears, pounding, but the words alone also had her muscles tightening. Another reason she was not liked in Voxthain's upper crests was because of that: she was a foreigner. Not even born in the city, nor in Asterath, Cal had been born in Fareûn, the very continent the shadowfog had consumed in its entirety. It had almost killed her. Anxiety spooled inside her, pounding and writhing, and Cal tapped her leg against the ground to try and get rid of some of it as her hands began to shake. "So maybe the greed is worry. Of course it is, I know some of these noble families and I know they're greedy and vain, but where you got the idea you can see the nobles on the Council only care about their families is beyond me. Wyver was born noble, but Councilor --- and I were not, and he's very paranoid about the shadowfog, Frankly, I don't blame him, and you should know me well enough by now that I'm not fucking greedy about it." Bitch, she thought, but didn't say aloud, rage now churning through her veins.
But she tried, she tried so hard, to corral it to focus on everything else instead, but clearly, this girl had problems. Cal understood distrusting nobles, of course she did, but lumping all of them in and then spewing falsehoods was not something she appreciated. Cal would be the first to admit her own mother was a noble, and thus, there were some things she needed to be educated on, but she was a good person. She was the best. Katarina Hayden was sunshine, she was good to her soldiers, she had a strong moral center, she helped the people as much as she could, she held no classism in her heart. And she was everything to Cal. The Thornes, too, would never been greedy and she knew it. They were strong, moral centers, they were compassionate and kind to anyone who needed it. She knew that, so well.
The noble system? Yes, let Sapphira hate it, Cal did too. But the people in some of the families? They were just that: people. And they were good ones.
Well, she was making assumptions. Sapphira was like nobility, but opposite. She made assumptions herself, that all nobles were vile, and once, Cal would have agreed with her. But she had learned that not all were. Most, sure, but not all. Trying to remember how to breathe, Caledonia massaged a tightness in her jaw as she closed her eyes, focusing on the water bubbling and the sweet smell of the blooming flowers around her. When she opened her eyes, her heart rate had settled a bit more, and she was able to speak again. "Not enough. All we know is that there have been bodies found--here and in Asterath--drained of all their magic." A shiver crawled like a spider down her spine and across her shoulder blades. Nobody had ever found a murderer doing that before--sucking someone dry of their magic. Somehow, Cal had never even considered it being possible. Magic was integral to humanity, and if someone was killing by draining...it was bad. Really bad. "And there's no pattern. Old, young, rich, poorer, middle class, men, woman, anyone, it's--almost overwhelming," she admitted. "To be so clueless. I have soldiers searching the city. Spies, really, just...looking everywhere. Sure, it's mainly people who stay out too late at night because the murderer is targeting people who are isolated," she added. "That seems to be the case, anyway. Or people who used to have...a higher skill with magic. So the militia is trying to figure out what's going on."
She had people everywhere, in disguise, in taverns and bars, pubs and dance halls, the saloon in Asterath, the diner in Voxthain. Because someone had to be getting information on their victims, she believed. "And I think it's multiple people killing, too. There is no way one person is all over both cities doing this. And because it's been high class and low class people killed, multiple killers have to have ingrained themselves into all aspects of Asterath and Voxthain's society," she added, but at this point, Cal's mind was running on logic, sinking into the way she sometimes worked out mysteries and problems at work--pacing, talking things out with her mother. Not that she was pacing now, but she was restless as she was logical, thinking like a soldier, a spy. "My bet's on Serpentine right now. They're full of assassins anyway, so...logically, I have to check them off the list."
She'd sent one of her investigators down there, into Asterath, though it was pissing her off she hadn't heard from him in a bit. But what else could she expected? It was Elliot Delacroix, he was probably causing chaos, and while she respected that he was different than his asshat family, she didn't entirely trust the man.
Truly, she hoped the culprits wereSerpentine. Not only because it would mean they could finally get to the bottom of this to stop what was happening to innocent people, but also because she had a personal streak of hatred for that gang, and maybe this would be the excuse she needed to go and bash their heads in. Killers for hire never endeared themselves to her, but her adoptive father had been Serpentine. She wanted to go kill some snakes.
She thought nothing of Sapphira asking about the murders--fair enough question, because it was true most of the Council had been focused on the shadowfog. But Cal, as a militia Sergeant, also had a stake in the murders--the militia existed now to keep the people safe, and one couldn't do that if there was a killer--or multiple--on the loose. It had her tossing and turning more than usual at night, hating that she didn't know who was behind them, and terrified one day she'd wake up to hear they attacked the kids she loved so much, or the people who couldn't as well keep themselves safe. She wanted the murders caught as soon as humanly possible.
Cal had every inkling, as Sapphira watched her, that she was judging. And yeah, it pissed her off, but what else was she supposed to do, Cal figured? It wasn't like she hadn't had assumptions, either. But it would, again, bother her--because Cal had made efforts to show she was not a noble, and it wasn't her fault Sapphira was blind to them. She didn't have the respect--she'd had to fight for it, and a lot of the nobles didn't respect her, and they never had. Maybe she had respect among the people, but that was because she actually did care about them, made efforts to help people and get to know them. Sapphira just seemed blind to anything that wasn't herself sometimes, as far as Cal could see. Sure, she helped people, but she made irritating assumptions and lumped every single noble in together. Sapphira was thus wrong about that--Cal did make efforts to show she was not nobility, all the time. She had never made efforts to fit in unless she had been under duress from her father.
Fingers tight around the stone of the bench, warm under her skin, Cal tried to take a deep breath. While some part of her, deep down, appreciated someone appeared to care, she didn't know how to go about being vulnerable with someone, let alone someone she had practically just met. Besides, it hadn't been just basic teasing. She had been tormented, flat-out, for years at Cogsworks, unable to even go home to escape them. Being adopted by nobility was not some savior story, it was a living hell. She was the "charity case" the "stray" the "dog" the "common-born bitch who muddies up the lineage". Rumors had been spread, and she'd been cruelly pranked, beaten up, taunted, and harmed way too much to have it all out of her head now. On some level, Caledonia knew her worth, but on the other, years and vicious bullying combined with taunting at galas and brutal abuse at home had her cold, it had her self-esteem ground into the dirt most days, and it had her mind--and her body--scarred in ways that would never fully heal. The nobles had their own commoner to mess with, to hurt, to exert their power over, in their midst. That was never, ever going to end well for her.
Now, ever since her father's...unfortunate death, under...mysterious circumstances...she avoided balls and galas. Nobody existed anymore to threaten her into obedience. The functions had always made her ill inside, seeing the amount of food that was wasted, food that should have gone to the people who needed it. She remembered what hungry was, and after her first few galas, she had had her mother, who had been on Council at the time, help her start programs to get the extra food at events given to the people who needed them. But she also could never stomach the events herself--too many fake people in wealthy dress, too many rumors and backhanded compliments. It was a life of luxury she would never fit into, and that left her reeling and furious, so she'd taken to staying instead with the people.
She would spend gala nights in the orphanages, or handing food out to people, or playing with some of the local kids, or talking to and helping the women she knew now through her work in helping them. Or some nights, just...hide. In her room, or reading in the woods, or with her cats, or training. Anywhere but the gaudy balls full of people who had hurt her and who should have used what they had to help people instead of party and eat themselves sick. As far as the media was concerned, she was a recluse. A bitch.
Whatever. As long as she was never painted as a true noble, then that was fine. Which, they'd never do, because the nobles liked to point out she was nothing but a filthy dog wrecking their fine gatherings. As much as their insults hurt, it was better than being one of them.
"Yes," she stated, jaw tight. "I don't want to talk about it. Thank you. For understanding." It was as close as she could come right now to forgiveness. Not that Caledonia forgave people--she didn't, usually--but Sapphira, maybe in this case, she could, just not right now. Already, she felt as if someone had stripped her bare, taken away every ounce of defense she had, and it left her skin crawling. Maybe it was ridiculous that she hadn't fully gotten over it. It was just bullying, right? Yet to her, it wasn't. It had been vicious, it had been borderline abuse, and she wasn't ready to open that can of worms. Especially with Sapphira.
Caledonia removed one hand from the bench, but it took effort, and the intricate patterns carved into the stone left swirling patterns across her fingers and palm. "Thanks," she stated quickly, effectively--she hoped--ending the conversation. On the contrary, the only open thing about Caledonia was her temper. Cogsworks was probably very ready to see her graduate back then. As a child, when she had been enrolled at eight, she had constantly been in detention for starting fights. But she had grown up that far in an orphanage and then in a new environment with a cruel adoptive father, surrounded by cruel nobles. Of course she defended herself with fists. She didn't know any better, and while her mother had tried to work with her on her rage, and over the years it improved, Cal was still very prone to an occasional angry outburst, and the emotion most people saw in her first and foremost was rage. Most of it justified, but her temper would be a lifelong battle.
Cal stared at Sapphira, a protest, a defense, on her lips, her muscles tense as if she were a lion about to pounce. How dare she insult the Thornes?! She parted her lips before slamming her teeth together, rather harshly, and closing her eyes to once again try and keep her cool. Her pale cheeks flushed, though whether it was from pent-up frustration or embarrassment at her almost-outburst regarding the Thorne family was...not something she felt like considering. After a moment, she opened her eyes again and took a breath.
"Then there's a chance they don't know their doctors are turning people away," she replied as steadily as possible. "I know--I knew--the Thornes personally, and I know that the matriarch and her daughter are good people. They would never turn someone away because they couldn't trade." Why would they? Terrance Thorne had been a common-born surgeon himself, who Lady Thorne fell in love with. He opened her eyes to so many problems the people faced, and, horrified, she had begun to fix the problems, allowing anyone free medical care. As far as Cal knew, they were still doing that.
Their own daughter--Cal refused to think her name because that would mean seeing her face in her mind--was a dedicated doctor whose compassion knew almost no bounds. She would never turn people away and worked side by side along with the people they employed. If their employees were turning people away, it was likely the Thornes didn't know.
"Which facilities?" She demanded to Sapphira. "I'll tell them. That their employees are turning people away, they--they wouldn't do that." You'll tell them, Hayden? Really? In what note, the same response flush with an apology you've owed for years? She hissed through her teeth at her own cowardice and swallowed hard. Yes, she would tell them.
For the people, she had to, because while it hadn't happened in Voxthain, the inability of Cal's birth mother to attain needed medication due to poverty was the very reason she had died from childbirth. The issue was close to Cal's heart--she just never volunteered at hospitals because she was, admittedly, squeamish when it came to too much blood and bones sticking out of one's body. Ironic, for a militia member and a ring fighter in Asterath, but it was true. Bones sticking out and a place smelling of medicine had her on edge and uneasy, especially because aside from the Thorne heir herself, Cal didn't trust medical professionals.
But she would do it, she would send the letter, maybe visit in person if she had to, to let Lady Thorne know her employees were turning people away. It made Cal's stomach roil--both what she had to do and the fury that people were getting turned away--but she would do it, for the people. For people like her birth mother, even if she had never had the chance to know her.
Surprise widened the brunette's eyes at being asked what she would do, and for a second, she blinked, trying to process that. It was just unusual. Most nobles never asked what others thought, and on Council, everyone tried sometimes to get along, but it had its ups and downs. She took a breath, recovering, and smoothed out a wrinkle in her black cargo pants before yanking on the edge of the cotton shirt in thought. "Well," she began, "Write down everything you just told me. That's what I do when I want to address Council on something, to put a new law into place. Write it down, first and foremost--your grievances, what you've seen that isn't working, how people are suffering--and then what you want to do about it. When you address Council, go to them with what you want in mind. Don't wait for them to offer solutions, because sometimes, they may make a situation worse. And the workers, they deserve safety, shorter hours, and less chances of getting wounded. I don't think nobles understand that--what the people do for them, for...for us, and how we rely on them. Point is, what I would do, is start a proposal. First of all, I would improve the safety codes on the machines. No person should work with dangerous machinery. Propose improving safety checks, making them more frequent, and making the standards much, much higher. That could decrease injury. And then we should propose either a shorter workday, so people have time to rest and home between shifts, or a longer day with more frequent breaks. Because that way, people will get more time to rest. As for pay, it..." She shook her head. "What are they getting now?" Shame flared through her chest, tinting her cheeks pink. Cal made such a focus on people--truly, she did--but of course her main efforts were on oprhans, women, making sure people got what they needed to eat well and have shelter, and on making sure all attained medical care. Sapphira's focus on the elderly was not something she had ever considered...and workers, well, a little, but clearly, not enough.
And she was furious with herself for not focusing on that. All her soldiers in the militia, everyone they employed, they employed well--amazing pay, good food, shelter. But she knew that was not the case for everyone, she had just...not considered all of it before. Not as well as she should have, anyway. "I'm sorry," she admitted, averting her eyes, "I-I always fight in Council for the rights of everyone, I just...admittedly, had my charity focuses elsewhere. And I will admit it's a sin of my...status." She winced. Cal had never been happy to be adopted into nobility, and she definitely was not a full noble. But she was not a full commoner, either. She knew their struggles...but that was why she focused on food and shelter more. Because that was what she had experienced not having once.
A child of her age had not been in factories, and thus, she hadn't known they were so bad. Shame and guilt bit viciously at her insides. "I didn't know they were that bad," she added, anger at herself and at the nobles who ran places like that--Delacroix ran masonry, Ellingtons the water supply, Calicos the gemstones and valuables--and she wanted to shake them. Them, and herself, for having her focus mainly elsewhere. "I want to help," she whispered firmly, maybe one of the first signs of more vulnerability she had shown her fellow Councilor so far, anger and passion aside. "So. Yes. Propose better pay, shorter days. People will be more effective as workers and healthier and happier as people, too. Which is more important that productivity," she added quickly, lest Sapphira misunderstand her. "So. What I would do is propose the changes, new bills, to Council. I'll be there to support you and second your proposal. And then, if they disagree, keep fighting. If they still disagree, well." She shrugged her muscled shoulder once, a gleam in her green eyes. "Then we get the workers to protest if they want. I believe everyone's voice deserves to be heard, and if Council can't make their lives better, then they deserve to screw Council over."
Honestly, Cal did find herself respecting Sapphira, by and large. She was someone who held the peoples' best interests at heart, and Caledonia appreciated that more than she wanted to let on. The way she stood up for workers, for the elderly, and had the position of being raised as a commoner gave her a position that Cal believed was very important. Yet, she still did not appreciate the way she lumped all nobles into one another. Some truly used what they had for good. This was not Cal defending the system--no, it would be much better if it was different and nobility didn't hold such power, including her own mother and what she may inherit one day--but for now, until the shadowfog was gone and the murders stopped, they needed to keep fighting back, using wealth for the good of the people, not themselves. It was also truly a matter of, though, Sapphira needing to understand that some of the nobles were people, too, and had desires to protect the commoners, the poor, those who needed it.
Trust her, Cal knew better than anyone how awful nobles could be. She hated the majority of them. But she also knew the kindness many had, the true desire to be good and be better. She would never want harm to befall her mother or the Thornes. If there was a way to keep them safe and yet somehow make the wealthiest families less powerful, then she would take it. She'd just been trying to figure out how that could be achieved.
And truly, she was furious Sapphira just saw her as a noble, too. Because she wasn't, and she had made all efforts to escape that life and the dark, disgusting luxury side that came with it.
Sapphira Kiah Daenerys ⋆⁺₊⋆ Voxthain Councillor
Sapphira took a moments pause. There was a lot happening, a lot being discussed, and she was so overwhelmed. Juggling everything at once was hard. It was amazing and very informal that she was learning about everything and learning from Hayden however, they had gone through so many topics that she feared she would forget things happening. When she returned home, she'd have to make plenty of notes on detail of their conversations. She also made the mental note to make sure that the next meeting she had was on a more specific topic and didn't get off topic.
The more information and questions she asked about, the more she'd learn and adjust to the council. It was a lot to handle, but she had to be strong. She had to be strong to prove her bullies wrong. She had to be strong to prove she didn't have to be a noble to earn respect. She had to be strong to show the council they wouldn't scare her away. And most importantly, she had to be strong for the people.
The councillors were each people with their own stories. Most of them were nobles, falling into the category of being rich and having their entire life handed to them. They walked over the citizens of the city not caring about anyone else. Sapphira also didn't know any of the councillors personally. She'd been caught up in stress to barely get to know each of them. Just observing and connecting with them when shes was forced to. Never had she been able to get enough of a picture of them to put a perfect label. So, instead she just put them in the same melting pot as everyone else. The rich noble bitch pot. It had originated back in Cogsworth, and had been her mental lifeline so she hadn't done anything stupid. Back then the girls were unable to redeem themselves, although they never tried. Getting older, the elderly had given her plenty of valuable lessons on forgiveness, and now she had realized people were subject to change. If the councillors proved to her they were different and that they meant well, then she would gladly move them from the melting pot and place them on santa's list. Although, no noble had ever even tried to be friendly with her, only talking when she was needed, and she'd overheard backhanded comments from offices as she passed on the way to the bathroom. After three months of that treatment, she'd begun to believe that all of the nobles and councillors were the same. That was until Hayden had reached out for a proper meeting to get to know each other and each other's work. Sapphira had been overjoyed to meet with the woman, excited to perhaps make a friend, although she always had to make sure she was safe. She couldn't protect her people if she couldn't protect herself.
Hayden's opinion on the councillors mattered to her since the woman was the first to reach out to her. Even so, she knew to take the opinion with less meaning then she'd take her own. After all, Hayden had probably built grudges and gone through hell on the council in her years meaning while the woman might be reliable, she also might have a twisted opinion.
Lorelei Delacroix. Already, Sapphira had decided that the Delacroix woman was dreadful. It seemed to be that in the groups and in public, the woman put on the mask of an angel. At night behind closed doors, she heard the sounds of alligator tears, angry screaming, and banging on the lovely wooden desks. When that door opened, it looked as though Lorelei was the sweetest councillor of all of them. Listening to Hayden's opinion of the woman, it valified the one she'd already determined. Councillor Delacroix was a terrible woman. Hayden gave her words to describe the behavior though: manipulative, toxic, and incredibly selfish.
Lucien Wyver. The man was hard to read. He'd seemed determined, hard-working, but there was also something else hidden behind his mask. She'd never been able to put her finger on it. The man had been a noble, his parents killed by shadowfog. He had been raised a noble, maybe not his entire childhood, but he'd known the luxury. Hayden described him, mentioning how he wasn't classist. Sapphira took a small note. Personally, she'd never seen the man in public so she couldn't be sure. The explanation was brief, focusing on Councillor Wyver's determination to stop the shadowfog. That made sense to Sapphira, the man had lost something he loved so much to it, and that was probably his way of coping. What would happen when the shadowfog was defeated? She didn't know, but for now that was none of her concern.
Venus Ellsworth. Sapphira had gotten minimum time with the woman. From her few observations, Councillor Ellsworth had been a sweet and realistic woman. Someone that had placed things on the table, not beat around the bush, and made a point to be nice to everyone. That had been a shocker to Sapphira, but the woman was also common born. The woman she could probably get along with most since the two had been raised in the city and not a mansion. The only that Sapphira doubted about the woman had been how she was so nice to everyone. Ellsworth had to have grudges, opinions, and dislikes for people. The woman might have an unreal skill at hiding it, or she was just insanely good at forgiving people. Sapphira envied both skills even if Ellsworth didn't have them although, she did worry that the woman didn't have a backbone to defend herself. Hayden gave her opinion. Sapphira caught the words 'compassionate and kind enough'. That made her freeze. So maybe that meant that she'd believed a false persona. Quit being a pushover. You need a backbone. Hayden had also mentioned how Ellsworth had been raised wealthy. A high-class citizen. Not a noble but raised with the money like one. That made Sapphira doubt her opinions, maybe Ellsworth wasn't as sweet as she'd initially believed. Hayden did have more experience, and the woman was giving her good information. Why would she lie now? Sapphira took note and moved on not dwelling on it.
Even just a few nobles was better then knowing none. "Thanks for the few you felt like sharing," Sapphira said as she tried her best to save all of the new information she'd learned. "It's nice having a second more experienced opinion to see if I'm learning their persona's correctly." Sapphira wasn't the kind of person to make profiles on people, but mentally, she did have that organization. It was mandatory with a life as busy as hers, and if someone was going to be important, she needed to know as much information as possible about them. After all, the other councillors were going to have a big impact on her.
The bigger impact on not only her but the people was the nobles. There were so many terrible families that tried to overpower the people. The power that the Delacroix, Seaveys, and Calicos had and abused. The Delacroix's holding their power over the heads of the people saying to respect them because they were on the council, were powerful wizards, and they had built the buildings that created the city. The Calico's taking all of the rich gems and jewels that were mined and taken to Voxthain to sell. Sapphira knew her father disobeyed the Calicos because he had given her mother all of the best jewels he'd found. Thankfully never getting caught. Worst of all, the Seaveys' manipulating the media to portray their perfect image while all they fed the people was lies. That was what angered her the most, all of the torture that Melody Seavey had put her through the the newspapers had completely covered it up. Not a single peep had been made about how the girl was a bully and not the perfect musical angel. While she despised all of them, she held the largest grudge on the Seavey since their daughter had put her through hell. Draven had assisted her though so she held a fair hatred for him too.
"How could to assume something so terrible?" she asked shocked at the assumption. She had never meant to be so evil. She just wished to right the wrongs in the government. "The nobles are still people so we can't be cruel. That would just make us be exactly like they are." The goal of hypothetically remodelling the Voxthain government was to help the people, not harm others. "My idea is that we remove them from power and place them with the lowest of society while redistributing their wealth to those who need it." It was something she'd dreamed about before, of course, she had also dreamed about making the situations of Draven and Melody worse because of the bullying somehow. "We don't have to send the Ellington-Wyvers, your mother, or the Thornes into poverty. Instead, they would continue to work in their fields as advisers alongside every other member of society." It didn't sound evil. "The only difference for them is that they don't have all the power and money. And without the nobles, the council could be stronger with more branches. Ones that cover the things that the nobles control. That way it's regulated and controlled in a fair environment that seeks to improve the lives of the people." She paused then added, "I like your idea of the power shifting every few years. Allow for the re-election of positions in a fair election that allows the people to decide if they wish to keep the person in power or select a new candidate to handle their position." She did genuinely like the idea. She hadn't seen it before but it did make so much sense to her once she'd heard it. It was fair, and gave justice and power to the people. Exactly how things should be.
The real problem in the moment was the shadowfog, not the government. That was exactly what the council had been fighting over ever since she'd joined. The progress was minimal, none according the Councillor Hayden. And the woman was angry. Very annoyed with her.
Her realization of truth hurts was always painful. She hated being vulnerable and exposed, it hurt. It meant she'd fucked up. And here she was. The only was to right it was to admit she wasn't as good of a person she tried to be. That was even worse. She'd put so much effort into being a strong woman who defended the people. And now, here she was messing it up. "Councillor Hayden, while I don't understand your worry, I understand my own. I apologize that I'm not all-knowing on the topic of the shadowfog, but I only learn what I am informed. The only councillor that has given my any information to this point personally was Councillor Wyver, therefore I feared for the people." The words were weak, formed by fear. She was afraid the councillor would blow up on her. She knew she'd made a mistake but she didn't know how Hayden handled it. "The interactions I've had with nobles have never been good. You have had more experience with them, therefore you are more acqainted with them and understand them more. But I am not. I do not know. It is our nature to make assumptions to fill in the space of information you don't know. That is what I've done, but if I can prove to myself that those assumptions are wrong then I will gladly accept the new information." There was a pause as she took a deep breath. "To be fair, I do not give a fuck that you come from another continent. It does not make you different in my eyes. I can see that you've experienced pain, but that is something I will never understand. You and every other councillor is a complex person. I do not understand each and every one of you. And in order for me to protect myself and my efforts for the people, I have to have a backbone. I can't allow myself to be pushed over and bullied by others. I do not believe you are one to do that, you have been on the receiving end, but the other councillors may be different." She took another deep breath, pausing to calm down.
Some of the words she said may not have been the right thing. She knew that. She'd gotten upset, lost her temper just a little bit. "Councillor Hayden, I apologize for losing my temper for a moment there. Truthfully, I see a potential to work with you. You obviously see a seriousness in the shadowfog that I don't. And as a common theme, I don't know where I will fit in and my efforts will help any of the situations." There was a pause and she took a deep breath, "To keep things simple, I don't want to trust nobles. It's a mistrust that was beat into me, and I understand that they are not all the same. However, until I get to know a noble and learn I can trust them, I will remain paranoid of them." There was a hesitation. Sapphira knew that Hayden was a noble. And so she added, "As of right now, my opinion on you is simple, I believe you have good intentions and wish not to hurt anybody. Like I said earlier, I see a potential to work with you if you don't despise me after today."
Moving back onto topic, Sapphira focused on Hayden's less angry response. She hated the feeling that she had let people down. It made her feel like a failure, and that was something she would fight to never be. Even so, with how many of the people were dying randomly she knew something was wrong. "The randomness of the killings are concerning," she began, partially in her mind. She worried for the safety of the people when it came to this topic. "The citizens of both Voxthain," there was hesitation before she added, "and Asterath", she had never seen herself as a representative for the citizens of Asterath, but since they were affected too she might as well include them even though she didn't understand them, "are majorly affected by this. While the Seavey's have done a good job preventing major uprisings because of them, there is still fear rooted in the people that they will be next." She took a deep breath remembering her own mother asking her what to do to avoid being killed. She had given the only answer she could give, the same one she gave to everyone else, 'Stay inside at night. Avoid going anywhere alone or sketchy.'
On a darker note, the drained magic... It was terrifying. She hadn't personally seen a drained dead body. She knew that those who had were changed people, living in fear. "Do you know the progress in research that's been made on draining magic?" Sapphira asked. There were so many ways to approach this issue, but the first she thought of was figuring out the technology or magic that was used, then it would limit who could be responsible. Even though Hayden suspected Serpentine from Asterath, that didn't explain why there were kills in Voxthain, unless the gang had expanded into their own city.
Hayden's short response signalled to Sapphira not to press. They had shared more then enough about their Cogsworth past for now. Obviously, Hayden was done. Sapphira didn't push. The topic was very vulnerable and after everything, she didn't have enough energy to continue begin vulnerable. She dropped the topic, responding with a short, "No problem," and left it at that.
Hayden's body language shifted. Stiff maybe? Sapphira couldn't tell. She wasn't the best at reading people and her fellow councillor seemed to be great at hiding it. As a result, she was just making educated guesses right now. The other councillor was probably not upset or stiff. Just processing the new revelation she'd informed her of.
Sapphira meant no harm to the Thornes. All she wished was to improve the issues she saw. She wanted to help the people just like she'd always done. Perhaps discussing her knowledge with the other councillor instead of taking the issue to the Thornes was a mistake. A rookie mistake. Mentally she sighed. No. Don't think like that. Remember what dad reminds you: 'Your strong and you deserve to be there with the other councillors just as much as they do.' She brushed the negativity away, or tried to the best she could.
"From my knowledge the Thornes are great people," Sapphira said. She added nothing about her not trusting them although she had never met them meaning she didn't yet. Perhaps because of their good deeds and efforts they'd be easier for her to trust, but she could never be sure till she met them. "I'd assume that they don't know just like you," she added. "I've only ever seen it happen in the impoverished district. From my memory it's called Canneta Clinic?" It was a bit of a question as she scratched her memory. She was disappointed in herself for her lack of activeness in that specific area, where the homeless lived. While she ran food drives, she never actually spent time with those people. She'd only been there a few times with workers and to learn some basis on medical programs to learn where she could help. In those few moments were where she'd seen cases turned away. "Please correct me if I'm wrong," Sapphira added, hoping she wasn't embarrassing herself or wrong.
Writing things down. Everything. The advice wasn't what she'd expected. She'd figured she'd receive a hundred step process on how to get laws passed. Obviously, things weren't that formal. Writing things down were easy. Taking things to the council to reason was less easy. Drafting nice laws was scary. Maybe that was just because it was new to her though.
"Umm.. Obviously not enough," Sapphira said trying to think about the pay. It was obvious that it wasn't enough. It didn't have to be said. "I'm not... entirely sure," she said. She looked down ashamed. Here she was fighting for workplace rights while she didn't know all of the details she needed. It's okay Sapphira. Just look into it. "I'll make sure to look into that next time I'm down there," Sapphira said pulling herself back together. Mistakes were okay. It was the effort that counted right now.
The apology shocked her. Sapphira hadn't expected one. "Don't apologize to me please," she said a bit uncomfortable. She had not been expecting any apology. She also never was the person to need one. Everyone made mistakes and she understood that. She would forgive them without an apology. Sure it was different when she made a mistake, but that wasn't her focus right now. "It's not your fault. You've been busy working with other groups. You don't have enough time to give sufficient effort to everyone. That's why we work together," Sapphira said. While it was an effort to try and help Hayden feel better, it was also a true statement. Sapphira had noticed over the years the certain works that Hayden had done. As a kid, she remembered looking up to the woman having the dream to be like her oneday. That dream had died with bullying and she'd forgotten about it until the moment she remembered. Quietly, she shoved it back into a bag. She didn't want to admire Hayden. She worked with the woman.
'sin of her status'. Well, of course it was. That upset her. Here goes a noble ignoring part of the citizens because of their title. However, something changed in her. A small click. Hayden had just admitted to a wrong-doing because of her status. She had acknowledged that her status wasn't everything. She'd stated, out loud admitting that the title wasn't everything. That softened Sapphira's shell slightly. Knowing that the noble didn't see the title as everything. Sure, the woman had made efforts visually, hearing the words changed something. She didn't know what, but she trusted Hayden a little bit more. She noticed that Hayden maybe wasn't as noble as she thought. The nobles had always made nobility everything about them. They made it their whole personality. They made it their only strength. They held it over peoples heads. And here she was, listening to Hayden admit that her nobility had hindered her ability to assist the people in some ways.
She was swept back to the topic of the workplace. Sapphira nodded along taking notes mentally. "Alright, I'll write things down," she said. "Before I present to council do you think you can look over what I have again?" she asked. She didn't want to get help from Hayden too much, this was her project and her responsibility. But getting advice and having a second opinion once she had the information didn't feel like a crime.
In the back of her mind, a little voice echoed saying that her efforts wouldn't matter if the shadowfog took over. If the shadowfog won the battle that they were in and destroyed her beloved city. Sapphira didn't throw it back into the dumpster this time. Hayden seemed concerned about it from their discussions and maybe it was something that she needed to be concerned about too. The more minds that worked the closer they got to saving the city. A shiver ran her spine. She didn't like the reality that they were in danger. She didn't like the reality that her people were in danger. All she could do was pray they found a solution. Or maybe she could join and find a solution. Either way, one thing was becoming certain in her mind. The shadowfog was a larger issue than she wanted to believe.
[hey guys, just a heads up, but i don’t think money exists in lux? i could be wrong tho :)]
((I know! It doesn’t. I don’t mention it I think))
((it doesn't-- as I brainstorm what compensation is given for working that will fund the lives of the workers.))
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 𝑪𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒊𝒂 𝑯𝒂𝒚𝒅𝒆𝒏That was fair. Caledonia's opinion of the other Councilors was quite skewed. She didn't have the most open thoughts on them, nor the most generous, because like Sapphira, she had spent years being harmed by people like them--the wealthier, the nobility, and thus she didn't trust them to have the peoples' best interests at heart, or not to backstab one another the way so many nobles were keen on doing. That being said, she also had six to seven years of experience on Council having been elected earlier than most, at a mere seventeen, and so she knew the way these twisted people thought. And, in the militia, she had been managing assholes since she was younger, as well. Caledonia had a lot of experience around authority, as well as the games nobles played, and at this point, she felt she could handle them a bit easier than she could before. Her very safety had depended on it once.
Toxic, manipulative, and selfish, indeed. Though Lorelei didn't scream and bang on desks, so that wasn't probably her Sapphira had heard, but Caledonia knew the woman from seeing her at galas she'd been forced to attend under threat when she was younger. Lorelei was a viper, and she was out for two things only: Lorelei, and the Delacroix name. That was, making more power. Caledonia disliked her, and she knew very well Lorelei disliked her, too, another case of a noble hating her for her common birth. Well, screw her, because Cal was twice the person Lorelei's shallow soul would ever be.
Wyver was a complication that Cal took careful steps to avoid. While she appreciated he was not one of the nobles like Lorelei--with their pretty heads up their pretty butts, thinking their power made them better than anyone else around them--Wyver was a man. A noble-born man, even if the Wyvers had once fallen on hard times. Nobility ran through his veins, and men were pigs and not to be trusted, in Caledonias opinion, and, unfortunately, experiences. Maybe she should be relieved he was concerned about the shadowfog, but that didn't mean he wouldn't round on her or someone else and try something she'd kill him for. Suffice to say, she avoided Wyver unless absolutely necessary, and then she'd speak to him much like she was with Sapphira--in a public space, or in the council chamber across a table with some others around her. She could take him out, no problem, but really, she didn't want to bring more trouble upon herself, so it was much better to just avoid Wyver unless the world was ending. Which. It kind of was, thanks to the shadowfog, but alas.
Caledonia wasn't sure though how to feel about Venus, besides what she had told Sapphira, none of which were lies, but indeed threaded with some of her own opinions, which tended to be lower than a normal person's would be given Cal's lack of trust for people born into power and prestige. Even Venus, she hesitated around, namely because, while she had been born a commoner, she was a commoner who had means, and nobody was that nice. Well, okay, there was one person she knew who was the sweetest one alive, but Cal had proven she was not meant to be around people like that. And what if Venus was doing what many nobles did? Using a smile and kind words to deflect from the fact they were planning to harm you in some way? Fooling Voxthain, in a sense? She didn't know if Venus disliked her or not and frankly, didn't care. She may be more powerful than Ellsworth, but Ellsworth had been born more powerful than her. And power was something nobles and people born with such likes to throw over the heads of those who were not. Cal knew even her current status meant nothing to the nobility, who hated her simply for her blood. Fine. She hated them for theirs sometimes, too. Fair was fair. Right?
"You're welcome. I don't know the other man as well." And she had no intention of it. "All I know is he cares about the shadowfog, which at this point, we all do. At least there's that. And yes, that makes sense. I think it's responsible that you're trying to feel around and get a sense of who everyone is." She tapped a booted foot on the ground, thinking, as the fountain water's rushing filled her ears. "But I--I can probably be biased," she added, a little grudgingly. "So still do whatever you'd like and keep an open mind. As for me, well." Her smile wasn't kind. Not terrifying, but it certainly wasn't warm. "I'm gonna be honest with you, Councilor, I'm not the most tactful." 'Can dress and clean the dog up but you can't take the inherent dirt out of her, can you? Lack of poor manners is very becoming of the street orphan. You can't fool anyone.' The taunt slipped like a curling, dark shadow through her head, and Cal's jaw tightened, and she tried to push aside the leering taunt before she took a steadying breath again. "And I have a temper. But I care more about the people than the asshats who control half the city. Though, I guess..." Caledonia trailed off and dropped her head against the wall behind her, her dark hair sticking up a little as she did. It was always hard, to come to terms with the realizations some commoners saw her as more a noble than a commoner, simply because so many with the title had harmed them. At first, it always pissed her off, but she knew deep down she would do the same. Did do the same. Cal hated most nobles, after all they had done to her, and she wouldn't blame people for being afraid of anyone with the title at first. "I guess you shouldn't take my word for it, and all, but...its true."
Caledonia hated those three families as well. The Seaveys, Calicos, and Delacroixs, but for her, unlike Sapphira, her personal vendetta was against the Calicos. Their eldest daughter had essentially been what Melody had been to Sapphira, and honestly, Cal hoped that wherever Alianna Calico had run off to in her petty rage of not being chosen for a Councilor position (but seriously, with her attitude and sadistic attitude, how she thought she'd ever be elected was beyond Cal), she was dead. Alianna had been hell itself--sweet to the teachers in Cogsworks, and a deadly viper whenever their backs were turned. She had been the perfect noble--gracious, beautiful, kind and generous, but Cal knew her for who she truly was--a witch. Alianna had been Cogswork's most notorious bully, but she had this gleam around her, threaded together with threats, blackmail, and silky words, where nobody dared tell any teacher--or her own twisted father--what she was doing: brewing poisons, killing students and her own staff, making commoners' lives hell, and Caledonia's in particular. She'd tried, once. To tell Lord Calico what his daughter was doing, but that had ended horribly. So, yes, she was very glad Alianna was gone. Hopefully, she stayed away, as everyone in that household was miserable, with how she abused her servants and staff. Her endless taunts and physical harm would never be something Cal would forgive her for. Not when some of that had been sadistic and borderline abusive. She'd committed hate crimes, and had gotten away with it. Killed her own boyfriend, Cal was convinced, albeit Alianna hid any evidence well. No, she could stay away.
Cal arched her dark brows and for a moment, just stared at Sapphira, the gentle breeze brushing across her face. She shook her head, and then crossed her muscled arms, the dark whorls of ink dancing over her skin standing out as she did. "You're joking, right? I never assumed it, I'm just letting you know, you have to understand some of the nobles are kind people. As a whole, as a group, of course nobility sucks ass. But some of them are good. Some have the interests of the people at their hearts, and you seem to me to hate every single one of them so I had to say what I had to say based on what I knew." So it had been...well. Had it been another assumption Cal had made? She didn't know if she classified it as such. Maybe, but she wasn't really sorry. She had to protect her mother in any way she could, because Katarina Hayden was the only damn reason Cal was alive today, and she was the only adult to treat her the way a child needed to be treated--with love and respect. She had chosen Cal--an adopted commoner kid--over her own husband, and after that moment, Cal's trust and love for Katarina was locked in. Nobody touched Katarina Hayden, or they'd die.
"Yes, it would," she replied flatly. Part of her, despite Sapphira's vocal distrust for nobles, realized then that while they agreed there needed to be change, Sapphira may even be kinder to the other nobles than Cal would. If she "accidentally" murdered Eadric Calico...oops? Accidents happen? Not that she would, not now anyway, but if they changed things, and her sword slipped? So sorry. Maybe deep down, the noble society had twisted her. Caledonia had become like them--a viper, when she needed to be. She would never be selfish or classist, but she had been made into a dangerous snake in order to survive a society that had abused her endlessly. She'd had no other choice. Cal had learned to pour their poison back down their throats. Return a stinging insult with one of her own. On good days, she did it with the grace and smile of a noble-bred woman. On her bad days, she let herself be the brash military sergeant she was, and just let her anger at years of hate and abuse come forth. She didn't care anymore.
But she had to believe she was still better than them. She wasn't like them. But she had had to become just as deadly to survive. Caledonia nodded. "Yes to redistributing it. But for who we replace them with, we have to be strategic. It couldn't just be a Council made up of the lowest-born, it would have to be people who nevertheless know how to govern. To make positive change for everyone. Yes, common-borns, but maybe some upper-crest as well who always did want to make better lives for people. Excluding the nobles who always meant well will just cause friction and more enemies--we level the playing field and turn Voxthain's Council into what it always should have been--genuinely equal power among all people. Nobody is greater than anyone else. Again, Council is a good form of government--but not when people like the Delacroix rig elections." If only I can prove that. Could she? Somehow? Because unless she did, it wasn't going to stop. No. Not now, that was a later issue. "No, they shouldn't have all the power, or all the good resources. But, some people, like my mother and some of the Thornes, are skilled in what they do, and if they do it well, for the people, I think they should, yes, stay as advisors or maybe...maybe co-run the things they control now."
Her spine straightened at that idea, and she leaned forward as she spoke more. "So, instead of, say, my family running the militia, it's us and some others, so that it's not all power to one family. Same with the Seaveys, I--" She closed her eyes, frustration edged with rage cutting through her. "Rip the paper out of their cold, dead hands though, and I wouldn't care all that much." Caledonia would never forget the papers and the way those, too, had cut her and her mother down. Shamed her mother, made Cal even more of a pariah than she already was. Those papers were ripe with disgusting rumors and misinformation, stupid gossip nobody with a brain cared about, but they hurt. They cut. They destroyed. "And the Calicos. No one person should control the best trade items--the gems and the valuables." There was a reason the Calicos were one of the most disgustingly wealthy families in Voxthain. They held every jewel mine on Voxthain, every ounce of silky, valuable fabrics, they could trade for any service and any items their twisted hearts desired. It was wrong. Honestly, her family was a little different--they didn't exactly own objects, but a service themselves, which made it a little harder when it came to the redistributing wealth idea. Not that she was opposed to it, but it would take more thought on how to restructure it. Still, the Haydens genuinely were good people when it came to running the militia. They never harmed innocents and were not classist in their approach.
Caledonia looked up, eyes wide at the thought. Council having branches specific to the services and good nobles used to have? She hummed, tapping a finger absentmindedly against the hilt of her sword, the edge a little sharp, but still grounding, under her skin. "That's a very good idea," she mused after a second. "Because really, Council are the ones who are meant to run the city, to help the people, but when it comes to power, it's the nobles who have it and thus act as if they're the ones in charge, when, hey, that's not actually true." She gave Sapphira a small smile, nodding once. "Not a bad idea. And then having people like my mother as an advisor on the militia...see, I like the idea, but I do worry that because councillors sometimes die or step down often, changing hands on operations like the infirmaries and militia could lead to instability, and that's something to remember, too. We just have to find the right balance, and I think we're on to something. We can discuss it after the damn shadowfog is taken care of." Unless, of course, we find no solution and it takes care of us instead. Nope, not a helpful thought to have, so Cal tried to push it aside and recenter. "I--thank you. And exactly, because a monopoly on power in Council is dangerous." And we can see it with the Delacroixs.
"Councillor Wyver?" She demanded sharply. Okay, so she understood the man had lost his parents to the shadowfog. But she did not trust him at all, and admittedly, some of that was her own trauma, some still unresolved, in regards to men and to nobles, and he happened to be both. Men made her skin prick, her insides squirm, her muscles tense, and nobles just tended to lie through their teeth, so Caledonia didn't trust much of anything that came out of Lucien Wyver's mouth. He seemed to nice to everyone to be, well, a good person. Most people had angles, goals, and sharper sides, in her experience. But whatever. "Fine," she replied curtly, taking a deep breath. Her green eyes closed for a moment. Breathe. She's right. Being wrong--and admitting to such--had never been Cal's strong point, among a few other things, and she loathed it when it happened. Maybe that came from years of a mask that had become her reality, years of her pride the only thing she had left. But she also knew screwing up a meeting with Sapphira was only going to make everything harder for her, and she already had one Councillor pissed with her--albeit an Asterath one who took the whole thing as a joke, as far as she was concerned--and she didn't need another. Oh, right, Lorelei hated her too. Well, screw her, honestly. But not Sapphira; Caledonia couldn't fuck this up. She understood the woman--being new on Council, younger, being looked at with scorn from people like Lorelei. No, Cal wasn't messing this up. Another deep breath. The bench was warm beneath her hand as she cupped the edge of it around her palm, and she licked her lips and nodded once, forcing herself to meet Sapphira's dark eyes even as her skin prickled and she shifted around in her seat, visible uncomfortable.
"I-I-I'm sorry," she forced out, the words foreign on her tongue, which felt almost heavy and dry, the rest of her mouth much the same. "You--you're right. You are a new Councillor and don't know the level of detail we do. That was on me, and I-I shouldn't have blown up. And I--" Good Lux, this was harder, made even worse by the fact she was feeling it again: that sharpness lodged like a stone in the pit of her stomach, a knife between her ribs, burning and burning. guilt. Again. She was quiet for a long time, the guilt morphing into almost a sense of shame--and then, behind that, washes of crimson, as familiar to her as a warm blanket is to a child. Underlying all of that, waves of blue, welling up deep inside her, one emotion she didn't let herself feel very often, because if she did, she'd come apart. Caledonia ran a hand through her short hair, mussing it up a little, giving it the appearance of someone who had just yanked a beanie off, and then let out a breath.
She faced Sapphira. Gods help me. "You're right," she forced out after those long moments. Her words came out tight, gritted, but despite how much it felt like pulling her own hair, she meant them. "About--almost all of that." Oh, it was like nails running against chalkboards, a noise she had loathed since she was a scared child entering Cogsworks a year late for the first time. "I can't--I can't--I shouldn't have gotten so angry. You're right not to trust them. I never have and I still don't, not unless it was...exactly, proven to me. Hard proof, that they were not like every single other one of them. And because I understand them more than you, I should have realized where you were coming from--most are selfish, petty, and classist. Like Lorelei, on Council. Like the Calico's firstborn bitch and former heir. Like almost all of them. And I--I guess i was so upset on behalf of my mother and the few nobles I have come to know who are truly the best people I have ever met that I--" She chewed her lip. Gods, this was agony. Cal tilted her head to the sky, tapping her booted heel against the ground, which was splattered with small droplets from the fountain. "I fucked up and went off at you. Most of my life, growing up, I--" She knew she was stopping and starting, but she couldn't help it; to Caledonia, opening up made her skin crawl, made her feel as if someone had taken all her weapons and what she relied on and left her in the cold to survive with nothing more than a dress on, which in and of itself already made her feel sick. She hated dresses on herself, they were way too feminine and, besides that, left her too exposed. "I also didn't trust them. Still don't, mostly, and I--" Caledonia's stomach cinched, her lungs and chest squeezing, and her hand wrapped tightly around the hilt of her sword.
She squeezed it, trying to focus on the intricacies engraved on it and not on where her mind may slip to if she didn't try hard not to let it. "Didn't fully trust my own adopted mother until six years ago. Until I was eighteen," she admitted quietly. "Because--because like you, I have had...horrible, sadistic, abusive experiences at the hands of nobles. I was so afraid my mother would one day turn on me. It is so much worse to be the commoner in their society. You're the easy access point for a scapegoat, someone to taunt and hurt within their own society because they see you as less than a human being than they are, and want you to know that. I also didn't trust them because I don't--I don't trust most people, but the nobility was a huge aspect of it."
Cogsworks. Alianna Calico. Her friends, her posse of noblewomen. Her "father" and the men he had--no. No, no, no, not--not today. Caledonia hissed through her teeth and shoved her now-shaking hands under her, sitting on them in a desperate attempt to not let Sapphira see the way they trembled, and to give herself a measure of discomforts to distract her thoughts. "So," she continued, talking faster to get it all over with, "I shouldn't have been harsh with you. I-I understand where you're coming from, and I think it's good of you to be cautious and not trust a noble until they prove you otherwise. I-I-I am--am sorry. That I took personal offense," she grouched out, but she still truly did mean it. Emotions were just not Caledonia's forte. Anger was the one she often showed, but even then, regulating it? That was a work in progress. "Yes, assumptions are, and I-I have admittedly done the same. But I do think we should try not to make them. Making judgements based on experience are one thing--your assumptions about some nobles, for example--but as a whole, they--can be harmful." Because she had had many made about her, and most had been hurtful. "And it makes sense you were worried for the people and afraid the nobles only have their own interests in mind. I, um." She licked her dry lips and forced breath into shaking lungs. "I wouldn't put it past some of them. Upon further thought. I-I'm sorry." Good grief, was the world ending? Actually, maybe, if they didn't solve this shadowfog shit soon. "Yes, others could be different, and yes, it is good to have a backbone. Don't let them bully you. For the record, I do think you are good at standing up for yourself." Caledonia tensed, before she let out a breath, but not the tension knotted in her shoulder blades or her arms, her back. Everything was stiff, a defensive, protective measure, and she took to picking again at the back of her hand, digging her nail into the soft skin and springing blood. It hurt, but not only was it grounding, but it was, truly, nothing compared to what she'd experienced all her life. "I, uh. Well. Thanks, I guess. You're one of the few." Most people seemed to dislike the fact she wasn't from Valoran. That she was from Fareûn, accusing her of bringing the shadowfog to Voxthain like fools. Saying she was taking up space for true people of Valoran, which was...insane, but she was the common-born foreigner among vipers, so what else was she expecting, she sometimes bitterly wondered?
Caledonia blinked once at Sapphira. Good Lux, was she real?! If Sapphira called that losing her temper, well...what the hell was Cal doing when she got furious enough to break someone's arm like she had the other night? Really, she could have laughed, but didn't. "I...you did not lose your temper," she assured her quickly. "But I appreciate it all the same. I, too, would like to keep working with you." Good. This was easier, safer ground, and if she kept breathing, kept bleeding, kept focusing on the sweet smells of the roses and lilies, the sound of the water...she'd be okay. Well, not okay, but better. "And yes, it's...the shadowfog is a very serious problem. No magic has been able to stop it. My mother has an affinity for darkness--she can manipulate shadow, but not the shadowfog. She's tried. So, that gives you more of an idea of how badly we need a solution, and how stuck we are," she added grimly. "But I assure you, Councillor Daenerys, I do care about the people. Getting them to safety if the fog reaches us is my top priority," she added firmly, locking eyes with her. She nodded once. "I-I know that."
Okay, fine, maybe she was still a little frustrated with Sapphira for thinking she wouldn't care, but--no. I would have thought or wondered the same in her shoes, Cal tried to reassure herself. Truly, she had meant it--she didn't trust nobles. They were a backstabbing den of wolves as a whole. But lumping them all in one category was still probably bad, but again, she understood it. Did it herself until Katarina proved herself and until she had really gotten to know Avaliyah Thorne so well, who, then again, was only truly half nobility, what with her commoner father. Alas, though, who was Caledonia without her anger, simmering inside her at all times?
Broken, for sure.
"I don't despise you so far," she offered finally. But that was good. That Sapphira did realize they were not all the same.
Caledonia noted the way Sapphira hesitated before adding in Asterath, and she frowned. They had innocents, too. People who would need to be safe from this killer--or killers, she was convinced there had to be multiple at this rate--but she let it slide. Caledonia, too, would choose Voxthain's citizens over Asterath's if someone forced her to. "I agree. It is concerning, because without a pattern it's harder to track the person down, at least from an investigation standpoint." And good Lux, she'd been trying. In her office in the militia headquarters, she had a locked box full of her notes on the murders, scrawled in her slightly-messy penmanship as she detailed each location the killer struck, the victim, who they were and what they had done for a living.
So far, the only thing she had found was that all of them seemed to have fairly strong magic or potential for magic, which made sense given every body was drained of said magic. Shivers broke out across her shoulders, and Caledonia shook her head. It was not a pleasant situation. "It's been everyone," she reminded Sapphira. "The people have already been struck--the citizens, both here and Asterath--as well as the nobles. Students in Cogsworks, gang members, it--it's bad. And General Hayden and I have been adding more soldiers to the streets after dark, instructed to keep people safe, to help them home if they want an escort. We have someone also monitoring messages at all hours." She lifted her bloodied hand and ran it down her face with a weary sigh, shoulders slumping slightly. "Because it's easier, admittedly, for nobles and wealthier citizens to keep themselves safe, and inside after hours. So I'm doing all I can to station extra guards outside buildings that have workers working later, on the paths, all of that. I have free self-defense classes for kids and for women that I teach, but I started opening them up to everyone. Just in case they're attacked. But we need to catch these people. Soon."
Her face tensed before screwing up, and she dropped her head and sighed. "No," she admitted, feeling like an utter failure on that front. "The Council has had Voxthain's best scientists on this, and magicians, we just--can't figure out how magic can be drained. It's--horrifying. The unknown of it all makes it worse. Please, if you have any idea as to how something as inherent as magic can be drained, I am all ears."
A small spool of tension unravelled inside her chest when Sapphira dropped the subject. Some people were more okay with talking about things like that, but Caledonia was not. To some people, it was just bullying. But to Cal, it had been so, so much worse, and truly, she was not quite over it yet, nor ready to discuss what they'd done to her and how horrible it had been. They had made her feel helpless, and it made Cal feel weak to discuss it, to look back at all of it. And some of it was too terrible to even speak aloud. So she did appreciate Sapphira seemingly getting the message she was done with this conversation for now.
"Canneta Clinic," Caledonia repeated, to get the name to stick. She had heard of it of course, she had been to that district to help people, but she hadn't had the name of it memorized. "I'll tell them. I promise you, they'll not let that happen going forward." I have to. Just a letter. One simple letter, or schedule a business meeting. But meeting with Lady Thorne was not something she wanted to do; the woman was kind, she was not classist, but she had always had that elegance to her, the way she held herself, that could make someone wet themselves, and Caledonia's last action towards that family had been unkindly breaking up with her daughter and not giving a real reason as to why after six years, so, no, she was not ready to get pounced on by the matriarch. But for the people, to help them, she would. It wasn't like she didn't deserve what ever Lady Thorne would throw at her. "You're not. I know the place, I'd just forgotten the name. Some of the staff there was rude, so it doesn't shock me come to think of it that of all places, it'd be that one having problems." It burned in her gut, the rage, the frustration.
People lost loved ones because assholes who were staffed there didn't want to accept their goods simply because those goods were not as nice as, say, Calico gems. While Caledonia had never meant her birth mother, that was, to her knowledge, exactly why she never met her. Turned away when she was desperately sick and about to give birth.
"Okay," she replied easily. Caledonia wasn't about to tear her apart for not knowing--it wasn't like she had known the conditions and possible harm elders faced often, unlike Sapphira. "But yes, if they aren't being given good quality food, or water, we can work on that. We should work on that. And--" She paused. Tapped a finger against her thigh. The blood from the back of her hand had spread across her fingers now, and she made sure to wipe it on her pants. "I'd like to go with you. If you don't mind. When you go again. And yes, I-I know. That we work together because we have different focuses. But still. That was an oversight on my end because of my title, in part, anyway, and it disgusts me. I want to be better." She nodded once, unsure what else to do, when Sapphira said not to apologize to her.
Caledonia understood that--she was awful getting and giving apologies--so she just let it go. Honestly, the brunette had no idea Sapphira had admired her or looked up to her. Cal didn't do what she did to be admired, and never had. Her work was for the people--for the children, the orphans, the women who had suffered, and she knew what they went through so she did all she could to support them so they would never have to face it as badly as she had, or go through it at all. She helped orphans, made sure they were loved and supported in a way she had not been when she had lived in an orphanage. She helped women who faced domestic abuse because she knew, painfully, what that was like and the way it could destroy you. She helped get poorer people better foods and water and shelter because she knew what it was like to have nothing and be stepped on instead of helped. She helped at clinics because she understood what a difference good care could make. Nobody deserved to feel that way. To feel less than. But, yes, in that progress, she had not given as much thought to workers. Some, yes, the poor, yes. But how they were treated on the job? Not as much.
Caledonia cared about them. Truly, she did, and she had helped when she could. But one woman couldn't take on all of it by herself, especially when she was also focusing efforts into remaking the militia for the better--her actual job, given Council didn't make a living--teaching her self-defense classes, and, before her father's arrest, just trying to keep herself safe. She knew her own pain, and she wanted to make sure nobody else like her endured what she had. So she had gone with those routes for her charity efforts. She knew some workers' treatment issues because of how horribly Alianna Calico had treated her staff. She always voiced for better treatment of workers when the topic had come up. But she didn't know the details of it as much because she did have other efforts, ones she related to. Was it a sin of hr status, really? Cal wasn't sure, as she re-thought her own words and experiences. She had always advocated for better treatment among nobles of their staff, because she also knew how abusive that treatment could be. Every single time her mother had left Voxthain on a militia campaign for a week or more, when Cal had been younger, she had left her with her father, who had treated her as he would a servant. And he hadn't been kind. So, Caledonia did care about and advocate for workers' rights. She just...didn't make a point to visit the workplaces much, and that was maybe a sin of her status, at least in part, because it had just not crossed her mind. The guilt for that may never depart. She had sometimes, again, but she truly didn't know as much as Sapphira because she had never been one of those workers in factories owned by the other noble families. Thus, in that way, status was a reason she knew less in that arena.
Caledonia's title meant nothing to her. Absolute nothing, and honestly, she wouldn't mind getting rid of it if she could. She wasn't even born to it. The people are what mattered to her, finding ways to keep them safe, help them have better lives until one day, the noble system could maybe come crashing down.
"I would be happy to," she replied, allowing herself to give her co-worker another small smile. None of them reached her eyes, but that was simply because at her core, Caledonia was not a happy person, and the true smiles she saved were for her cats, her mother, the orphans, and once upon a time, Avaliyah Thorne. Nobody else inspired that in her. Nobody else deserved it. And this one still felt a bit off to her, but oh well.
((i'm getting ready to write, but can we start wrapping this roleplay up? like probably 3 more posts each max? I just feel like at this point in Sapphira's character development there is no more benefit to this roleplay. I also recall that you have plans for Cal so~))
((edit: that sounded kinda mean the way I worded it. what i'm trying to say is 'are you okay with us finishing this up?' sorry if I came across as rude initially!))
((take your time. Uh. Sure? Plans will happen anyway I already got permission for using her in two places at once so I’m not worried about it. But sure? Yeah it came across a bit rude so sorry I wrote too much, I have a feeling that’s part of the problem given your request for a less taxxing roleplay, so sure whatever you want I really don’t care then))
((i'm so sorry, I don't want to be rude. I really enjoy rping with you, I just feel guilty since it takes me so long to match your replies. while they are long, the amount of detail and subjects covered is all relevant. I probably should have mentioned that i'm also a bit burnt out rn so I don't want to worry about this while I recover if that makes sense. please don't take this as 'i never wanna RP with you again' it's just a combination of me being exhausted from extremely long and detailed writing. nothing against you at all! I'd love to RP with you again like this, I just need time lol))
((don't feel guilty at all! it's okay to take your time, or not write as much. I have been in a group for years where we all take months and months to get back to each other on replies, but it's still ongoing even with that! so really, there is no rush, and rory's right, your response doesn't have to be as long or detailed as mine! most of the time my replies aren't this long, I just have had this character for years now so I am able to write on and on. its really okay, if you are burnt out and need time to breathe, that's perfectly okay :) and thank you for your apology, all good. truly, do not worry, and we can always put it on hold and go back to it when youre feeling okay. take the time you need, really!))
((thank you for being so understanding! knowing that you're okay with me taking forever, i'll eventually get to this and we can keep it going if you'd like! again thank you, and Rory, thank you as well!))
((of course! And you can take as long as you need, truly! Sounds good))
Sapphira Kiah Daenerys ⋆⁺₊⋆ Voxthain Councillor
Knowing who someone was is one thing. Understanding their intentions was another. Sapphira had learned that the hard way. No more Cogsworth thoughts, Sapphira. You left that in your past. While she had, it had always left a scar of mistrust. One that would greatly affect how she looked at nobles and the world today. But she wouldn't change anything by going back and stopping it. Even if saving herself could have been an option, if she'd known it would lead to her representing the people on council, then she would suffer ten times over. Do it for them.
Hayden was a character to say the least. Not what one would expect to see as a noble. Probably because by blood, she wasn't one. By status though, the woman was. Even so, Hayden spelled out her intentions clearly. And partially outlined her personality. A bit of a temper. Not very tactful. Genuinely cares for the people. At least in her words. Can admit weaknesses, Sapphira adds to the list. Admitting to having a temper, out loud, to someone you work with, and don't know very well, isn't an easy task. Strong or maybe mentally strong. Possibly reckless, while she didn't know what had happened to Hayden, the bandages spoke for themselves. Just assume the military and move on. "I'll take it as something," she tells Hayden, "It takes strength to admit your weaknesses." Sapphira was aware, she had weaknesses of her own that she hated to admit. Hayden doing it meant more then the woman realized to her.
A soft chilling breeze blew over them. A bird chipped in the distance as it flew overhead returning to it's nest. The bustling square of people was beginning to think, the midday rush coming to the end as people returned to work for the afternoon. The square wasn't empty though, it still bustled with life as families with little kids seemed to take over. The little ones ran under the clocktower and called out to each other as they chased. Elsewhere, their parents were off shopping for food. The breeze came again, soft cold and chilling. Sapphira brushed a tiny strand of her hair behind her ear as it got pulled loose.
Hayden was still talking. Sapphira paid attention, listening to the woman's rant about nobles and everything wrong with the government. There was something soothing but lively about the calmness that took over Sapphira. It was one of those moments where she blinked and felt refreshed and ready to face the world.
Restricting the government was a new topic to her. While she had brought it up, she'd never thought to deeply about it. Now, Hayden was throwing all of the specifics around like it was normal. Once, some months ago, she could have these thoughts a daydream of a better world. Now, instead of dreaming, she had to look at all of the actual legal aspects of replacing the government. Life was so much easier before she became a councillor. You're doing it for the people, she reminded herself, something she was having to do more and more as she hit bumps in the road. "For the good nobles, we could remove the title and place them on a council position addressing only their field," she suggested. "That way they remain in charge without the title to manipulate." Ideas were always flowing in her mind. Whether they were good or not was beyond her. Offering them up, was usually beyond her. Council meetings with scary experienced people of power? Absolutely not. A private conversation witha noblesomeone she was gaining a decent liking for? Fine. "Of course they'd probably need to learn governing," she said trying her best to seem confident. She was not well versed here at all. It was like wandering through the halls of Cogsworth just waiting to get hit in the face with a bucket of water. "To be fair though, I have never had governing experience and I was voted into council," she pointed out. She was learning, so good candidates for a new government were also capable of learning how to run a city.
She did agree with Hayden on one front: ripping the paper from the Seaveys. Melody had done enough damage to her and plenty others at Cogsworth-- which she was still enrolled in-- and the girl having basically diplomatic immunity from consequences for her actions had always made her sour. Anyone attacked her back, they got a bad face in the paper beside the title, 'look who attacked our poor baby! THEY'RE A VILLIAN'. It had always annoyed her. It had always bothered her to see the amount of the Seavey control. "I'll back you if you rip that from their hands. I may not be a fighter, but I'd like to be there when you burn down the estate. Or we can keep it and turn it into a shelter for kids. The front gardens would be a great place for them to play," she suggested. Both ideas were great. While she would love to burn down the place, it would be damaging to the environment since it was very close to the forest. Plus, repurposing the estate to help children-- she would have suggested an elderly home but the large front gardens made it more fit for kids-- was a more beneficial option for the citizens.
"A- And no problem," she stumbled. She was really just grateful that Hayden wasn't upset at her for suggesting that the woman's family change the way their control worked. That was risky, she reminded herself. Hayden could have probably killed her for suggesting such a thing. She was raised in the military, so why would the woman not be capable of fighting? Or killing at that?
The tone of Hayden shifted at the mention of Councillor Wyver. Definitely harsher. Tighter perhaps as well? There was obvious drama on council that she was unaware of but, when it came to work, couldn't they put things aside for the country? Make no assumptions. Just ask. She knew she had to at least try and work on her assumptions so she replied, "Councillor Wyver seems genuinely concerned about the shadowfog. I don't understand why your so pensive about me receiving my information from him." It was simple and put together with a bit more of a professional tone. Her unease and concern was sneaking back in. Hayden wasn't the easiest person to read, not that she was good at reading emotions anyways, but the woman definitely seemed... off about her receiving information. Against her good will she added, "Plus, no other councillor has found time to inform me about the situation besides him." It was true, no other councillor had offered her anything. Maybe she was supposed to seek them out? She had no clue. But when Wyver offered to keep her informed on things pertaining the shadowfog, she hadn't hesitated to agree. Just try not to say anything that makes Haydenwant tokill you.
Mood swings were crazy, they were something that she had often. But the one she had in the next moments was the most insane. She went from terrified to sad to pity. Why was she pitying Hayden of all people? Maybe it was the sob story of the woman's childhood. Or maybe It was how she had gone from seeming tough to suddenly apologizing.
"It's okay," she said quietly. It was almost a whisper. Every time she felt negative emotions, she became a smaller and weaker person. She hadn't noticed in the past why, but now she saw something new: she liked to volunteer because it made her feel positive emotions, and in turn made her a stronger person. While, it she did do it for the people, she also did it for herself. Her parents had never had to use the line, 'just make sure your saving time for yourself too'. Maybe they both had recognized the positive effect before her. Or they didn't care enough. The first option was the right one for sure.
Hayden's hand ran through her hair. While reading people wasn't her strength, it was something physical that meant something. Putting the two pieces together was harder, and in her state, she just gave up within moments of trying and paid attention to her fellow councillor instead. It would be too rude not to pay attention. Especially in a moment like this.
The motion of the other councillor surprised her when they were facing each other. It made things much more personal. Like instead of this being about the people, it was about the two of them now. It was about the two of them, but it felt different.
The urge to place a hand on Hayden's shoulder comfortingly like every grandmother had ever done to her overwhelmed her. Knowing the little she knew about Hayden, that would not help their case. She refrained and instead turned her body to face the other councillor as well. The stumbling of the woman's words was understanding. It was part of being human. Formulating thoughts and coherent sentences was a great skill to learn. In panic or times of need, usually it was lost. Or the other councillor was just overwhelmed with emotion. Did Hayden even feel emotions though? The woman never showed any. That's a lie. She literally just messed up her hair because of this conversation.
"You have every right to be angry and feel emotions," Sapphira told Hayden. See, she isn't emotionless you idiot brain. "It's part of being human. " As Hayden continued, the fact that the woman had a similar distrust made her like and dislike her a little bit more at the same time. They had a shared dislike of nobles that weren't trusted which she liked. The reason that Hayden had that dislike and couldn't understand her own, she disliked. "Not to be rude, but why are you so critical of my unease and distrust if you feel the same way?" Sapphira asked. She truly didn't mean any harm with the question. It was genuine curiosity. It was also a clarifying question to Sapphira. She had told Hayden no more assumptions, so instead of making one, she had asked a question.
Sapphira titled her head as she listened. Processing the information, the brief details of the trauma that Hayden had endured for... years. While she'd experienced pain at Cogsworth, it was probably nothing compared to the experienced of Hayden. The way Hayden stumbled a little but when she found her footing, talked encouraged Sapphira to say, "I know you don't like sharing your trauma. While I appreciate you telling me, you don't have to. You never have to tell me anything you don't want to." She didn't want to take advantage of Hayden. Although, she probably wasn't capable since Hayden was raised and trained amongst the viper nobles making that reality seemingly impossible.
"I-" she paused, a single tear welling in her right eye. She immediately lifted her hand to dab it away. Curse her for being so sensitive and emotional! She was in the middle of a meeting with a councillor and didn't need to show weakness. "Thank you for the apology," she finally managed. "And I'm sorry too," she added, pulling herself together. "Assumptions are definitely one of my bad habits. I'll work on breaking it and just asking the questions instead of assuming." She did take the mental note to put in the effort. Hayden had gone through so much to make a point. It was only worth Sapphira putting in an effort herself to make sure that it didn't go to waste.
For the record I do think your good at standing up for yourself. Those words meant the word to Sapphira. She hated feeling like a push-over usually. It branched from how generous she was with her time. "While I love the compliment, I know I shut down in high risk situations. It's happened in the past, it'll happen again. I'm surprised it didn't just happen," Sapphira said. She was going to cling to that compliment though. Maybe it'd help her stay grounded next time she was in a bad confrontation with a councillor, or worse a noble.
The assurance that she hadn't lost her temper was nice, but it kinda had been her losing her temper. Hayden didn't know that, but a bone of fear stretched down her body. What was it with councillors and nobles being so intense? And even worse, if she hadn't lost her temper, how much worse could the others be? No assumptions. You'll find out when it happens. Just remember not to be a push-over when it does.
Sapphira nodded, the sensitive moment was over and she brushed it aside. She had tried hard not to mix her professional life with councillors with her personal life with the people. Although, every day that got harder. "Mhmm.." she hummed, concentrating. It was concerning to hear that someone with darkness magic couldn't manipulate the shadowfog. The longer she thought, the more concerned she grew. Add to the to-do list to brainstorm about the shadowfog. Just another thing at the bottom of the list though. She'd get there eventually, hopefully before she died.
Hayden didn't hate her yet. That was nice. She relaxed and turned, facing back towards the square watching the calmness. She couldn't stand watching Hayden any longer. Nothing against the woman, but she was intense. Very very intense. "That makes me feel a little better," she commented, just trying her best to ease back into a state of harmony. She wasn't successful but she was closer to it then she had been.
Sapphira wasn't a militia person, and she understood little about the militia. However, when people were dying she knew things weren't healthy. Yes, she was unsure about protecting Sterath because they weren't her people, but Hayden seemed to be judging her because of something. Although, reading faces was not her strong suit. Stop trying so hard to be someone your not. It really isn't a good look for you. "I probably won't be any help on the murders," she said looking down. She knew little about them, except the information the whole council had. God, she was so clueless on everything in the council. What had she been doing for three months?
The more details Hayden gave, the worse the situation looked. She had known some, but not all. Even nobles? Well, there went her first suspicion... Sapphira refrained from saying anything. There was no need to stir the pot, although the grimace on her face probably didn't help her face before she wiped it off. "Where are the classes held? Are they reaching capacity limits?" Sapphira asked. She wasn't going to be helpful when it came to solving murders. But keeping citizens safe, maybe she'd be good at that.
"To be honest, that was my only idea." It was. "It has to be some sort of magic or machine. We just don't know which..." Keep stating the known Sapphira. How helpful of you. If only they could just find something. Just anything. Or, if they kept failing to find something they knew it was magic. "At the scenes of drained magic, has it been clean or have you found little pieces of metal?" she asked. She remembered how often machines broke when dropped when she'd been in the factories. "From my experience, when a machine is dropped, tiny particles if not big pieces of it will break off. If there are metals and whatnot at the scenes that may help us determine which option is more likely," she offered. Knowing the militia, they'd already done this, but offering the idea was better than keeping it to herself and risking them never knowing it.
"Of course," Sapphira said nodding. The clinic hadn't been her main clinic but she'd grown up around it. Hence her skewed view. She'd known partially that clinic and it's corrupt ways all her life. No excuses though. No excuses meant no excuses. That's what her mother solidified into her mind. "I apologize for my skewed view of the Thornes. I haven't done my research on them yet," she said looking down a bit embarrassed. That was something nearing the top of her to-do list now... Three months later...
Hayden wanted to go with her. Hayden wanted to join her. "I-"WHAT? Her entire life was a confusing mess now. That was unexpected. She wants to expand and understand, Sapphira reminded herself. She didn't know why the she was so surprised. She had personally been considering looking into a few of Hayden's places as well to see if there was somewhere she could help. "Of course," she finally managed after organizing her thoughts. The silence was a bit longer then it probably should have been. "Sorry that suprised me for some reason. People don't usually seem interested in spending time with the older generations." Her mind flipped through her schedule. What was her next time with them? Private visits wouldn't be what Hayden needed, so definitely a visit to a large home. "There's a senior center in the same area as Canneta Clinic that I visit once a week. I spend time with them, making breakfast with the grandmothers, eat with the grandfathers, make sure they have everything they need for the week. I usually end up running errands for them. That would probably be the best experience for you to start with," she suggested. "I was there this morning. And if you get to the Thornes issue with the clinic, we can stop by there as well to check out if conditions have changed." It was a nice way to hit two birds with one stone on a trip in that area of the city.
The elderly folks at that home were either widowed or had children and grandchildren that never visited. Or that had passed. It was sad to hear and Sapphira always made it her goal to make sure they had everything they needed along with other homes. She'd grown to love them and their pancake breakfast mornings while watching the sunrise. They would definitely be welcoming to more company. "Are you a good cook?" she asked. It was an on topic question, but probably very off-topic to Hayden.
On the other note, the families trapped in the workplace were her other concern. Her top concern. They were the ones actually suffering. The elderly were just lonely and needed respect. Knowing that Hayden was willing to look over her proposals was a relief. That god, she wasn't going to walk into the rabid pack of dogs unprepared. She definitely was, but she'd be more prepared if Hayden looked them over. "Thanks, I'll send a message or leave a letter in your office when ever it's ready. Whichever you prefer," she said. She didn't know which Hayden preferred. Magic or paper? Personally paper, magic was a negative subject to her and something she wasn't great at. Thanks for that one Cogsworth.
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 𝑪𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒊𝒂 𝑯𝒂𝒚𝒅𝒆𝒏Caledonia's lip twitched, and the feeling of a sort of claw scarping against her insides had her gritting her teeth. To admit your weakness. It wasn't like Sapphira was wrong exactly. But she had grown up hiding every single emotion around her family, including her rage. She had hid it so that she wasn't harmed, she had hid it so that her brother wasn't harmed, her mother wasn't killed. Mama knew she had a temper, of course, anyone within a five foot radius could see that. But letting loose about her emotions in any way that was not beating up a punching had simply not been allowed, or her mother would die and her brother would be harmed. Weaknesses were not permitted by her father, and yet, she knew very well her own lack of tact and her own temper more intimately than anyone else ever would. Cal knew her own crimes, down in Asterath's fighting ring, the people she had sent to the hospitals, the way she wanted to hurt them because finally, it was her turn to do the damage. And truly, Cal was not all torn up inside over her temper. It was what it was, and anyone could see she had a problem. "Just being honest," she managed to respond finally.
Cal swallowed, her attention drawn to those children and their happy shouts as they raced around someone's stall and then did a loop around the center of the fountain in the square before going back to their parents' sides. Joy on their faces, their red cheeks and sparkling eyes, had a sledgehammer of emotions she was used to but nevertheless despised attacking at once. To urge to keep them safe, the relief they had real smiles on their faces, and the deep well of hurt that she had never known what happiness like that was like. Forcefully, she tore her eyes away from the kids and back to Sapphira.
The truth was, though, Cal had long been contemplating giving up her title. When she had been younger, she had actually considered running away from home because the pressures for a street urchin to fit into noble society had been almost unbearable. But only Katarina, and later August, had kept her from running--Mama was the only adult to ever treat her right, and she couldn't handle never seeing her again. But now that she was older, Cal couldn't handle it, being the matriarch of a noble house. So, if they didn't rip it all down, she was considering calling it quits, staying in the militia, and giving it all over to Auggie, who probably wouldn't appreciate it, but she couldn't do it. It was uncomfortable, living the life of a noble, it was not in her blood and never would be. But tearing the system down and finding a way to somehow re-start it would just...be a breath of fresh air. To help people in a way that Council and the nobles on Council, and off it, liked to prevent people from doing, would be so nice. At that, Cal turned and raised a brow. "Huh," she stated, tapping her boot on the ground. "That is a good idea. Make each person on Council in charge of something they're familiar with, but work together as a whole for passing actual laws and such." At that, Cal smirked, but not at Sapphira, more at the fact Sapphira was quite right, and had her there. "You--are correct," she admitted, leaning back against the wall and crossing her arms as if she were like a turtle, basking in the sun. There was absolutely nothing noble nor feminine about her posture at the moment. "And I guess really, except for Wyver and Delacroix, none of us have had experience like that. We'd just have to find the right people, people to put on Council who are not in it for themselves or only for their family. People who are in it to genuinely better the lives the citizens of the city." Of course she had no proof the Delacroixs rigged the elections, but what other explanation was there why one kept getting elected? Even the Ellingtons and the Calicos had finally fallen off--she was personally responsible for one of those--but how the hell the Delacroixs clung to a seat like a cockroach made her crazy. They weren't even popular. It has to be rigged. And truly, she blamed the Seaveys for part of that, what with their endless praises of the damn Delacroix family that Cal personally didn't give two shits about.
"Good to know," she said with a small smile, though it really was nice to know someone else on Council agreed with her about that awful family. Cal was older than Melody Seavey, but she had never liked the family in general. She had gone to school with of the older brothers, while she'd attended galas back in the day where she saw how awful they were. A small shiver darted up her spine when Sapphira mentioned burning the estate. It wasn't destroying it she had a problem with; simply, the burning. Not only could fires spread, but Cal--well. She avoided fire at all costs, still sported scars from when the orphanage she had lived in caught fire years ago. Sometimes, hot embers and crackling flames burned through her nightmares, and she had no intention of burning anything down. But, her perked up, a rare shine entering her eyes, at the other idea. "Yes! Yes, a place for more kids. Absolutely, yes. I-I actually have done that before, so I'd know how to run it and get that started and up. My father's old estate, when he was arrested, I turned the whole thing into an orphanage, and I've thought about one day turning my own into one, 'cause its by the lake and the woods and more kids need homes, and I--" Cal stopped as if she had hit a wall, her eyes going wide before she clamped her lips shut, her cheeks flaming. Cal did not talk much, and when she did, it was not an endless stream of chatter like some people. But this was the most she had said, happily even, almost, in one breath in a long time. Not just that, but she did not talk about her father's arrest. Ever. If anyone asked, she brushed them off, because while the public reason had been theft and fraud--and that he had been revealed as a member of Serpentine--the truth behind it was much darker, and even thinking of their lie just spiraled her mind to the truth behind it, and why he had been found out when he had.
But it was true--she had taken his entire estate and turned it into a well-run orphanage. She had changed the interior a bit, but no longer felt her chest and throat close up whenever she stepped foot on the property. Instead, she felt happier, because she was turning a place of horrors into a place where she heard squeals of laughter before she stepped foot inside. Where she could help children who had been, like her, homeless, or abused, or neglected, where she could love them and make sure none of them went through what she had.
"Sorry, just--yes. Didn't realize you cared about the kids, what gave you that idea, given you've never done anything like that for them before? Thats up my alley. But...thanks. For...I guess, paying attention," she quickly stated, shutting down any more of that conversation, squeezing her nails more firmly into the skin on the back of her hand. Truly, only Cal had started the orphanages, but it was nice to hear someone else was maybe willing to support that. Cal's lips parted, and she hissed out a breath, the pain grounding her, before she spoke again. "I just hate the Seaveys. They've done nothing but lie and manipulate for years, and that paper is a fucking farce." She knew some people loved it. But she saw it for what it really was; biased garbage, lies to the people on safety. She knew Mama had been embroiled in a lot of bitter snappy verbal wars with the Seaveys for a long time. Katarina Hayden did not like them. And neither did Cal. "They mislead people about safety. They pretend the greatest thing Voxthain has to offer is a Delacroix museum dedication, or whatever the hell that shit was. Pampered asses, honestly."
Caledonia was capable of killing, and fighting. She had killed before, both on the job and...not. But she wasn't going to go around hurting people willy-nilly, especially when those people had a point. Cal long had never been comfortable with her own nobility, especially given it wasn't by blood, and she knew sometimes Mama shared her discomfort with the nobles essentially owning Voxthain. She just had to guarantee that should a change ever take place, Mama and August would not be left to die. They were good people, kind people, who fought to make the city safer for the people. Not the nobles. August was like her, anyway: born to the common folk.
Caledonia's stomach sunk, muscles tightening at that, and she stared at Sapphira, shocked. "Just--he's a noble, like, born and raised, in a family that's been scrambling for power they lost, and we both know the Seaveys and Calicos are manipulative asses, just be careful around him." Though honestly, that was only part of her issue with Wyver. The real truth behind it--because genuinely she knew Lucien did care, given his parents had died from the shadowfog--was in his being a man. Her skin began to grow hot, and Cal clenched her jaw and had to try her hardest not to glare at Sapphira. She only succeeded by glancing down and staring at her messed-up hands. Finally, she added, "and I don't trust men." There. The truth, shortened and made lighter. Cal was taking no more questions on that. "Seriously?" She almost snapped at Sapphira. "I am literally having a whole-ass meeting with you about everything, so don't say he's the only one." Her own words rang in her head, followed by, of all people, Ceonrei's voice in her head. This is why I don't care or whatever prissy, bratty--she closed her eyes, a growl low in her throat, and then forced herself to breathe. In and out. In and out, and then-- "I--should not have snapped. That was--wrong. Of me." Oh, someone kill her, please. Apologies could kiss her ass. "Just--I am projecting. My personal feelings into your working relationship with Wyver and I have no right to do that. He's never harmed anyone, I just don't--feel comfortable around him."
There. She had never quite said that to anyone else, except Mama. It was true, though. Wyver and Jing were the ones she couldn't stomach meeting one-on-one with, and August was the only male she let within five feet of her.
Mood swings. Yeah. Cal went from not angry to pissed with a second flat, so in a way she was quite familiar with those, though she did have a layer of rage humming under her skin at all times.
Caledonia nodded once at Sapphira's response, unsure what to say, her heart beat pounding at twice it's normal rate, and feeling louder than usual. Breathe, Cala, Mama always said when she was in a sort of state like this, and if she closed her eyes she could just make out her mother's calming touch on her shoulder, or her own soothing lavender from the patch she planted in the gardens. She fought for a breath until her heart had gone back to its normal rate.
Cal looked up at that. She let out one humourless laugh, almost sardonic. Maybe she did, and certainly that was what Vali had always told her, but did she really? She had never been safe to express her true emotions, unless in the ring in Asterath or tucked away somewhere safe with Avaliyah years ago, or at Cogsworks when she beat up everyone who said something classist, homophobic, or sexist. She had been repressing how she felt through her entire life because her loved ones' safety--and her own--were compromised if she did not. But it wasn't just her father, it was nobility as well. All of them wanted the common-born orphan girl to slip up. To do something "rash" or "not dignified" or "improper" so they could rip her to shreds in their rumors. She did not belong in their society, and they wanted to make sure she was pushed out, or knew very well she'd never be one of them. Cal didn't want to be one of them, but she had wanted the bullying and abuse to stop. So sometimes she tried so hard to hide her true feelings. Even the anger, because of them, her wild anger was a sign she was a "wild orphan girl who nobody broke yet". Her true emotions as a child had gotten her bullied, hurt, spat on more than she already was.
She just grunted at Sapphira saying emotions were okay, a part of being human. Deep down, Cal knew she was right, but it was hard to just agree with that. This conversation had her spine tingling, had her wanting to open the ground up and slip into it, hiding away from vulnerability. Ugh. Cal pressed her lips together before responding. Reaching down, she plucked a violet from where it was growing in a planter box by the bench, twisting the stem between her fingers, trying to do something harmless instead of dig at her hands as she usually did. "I told you, I was sorry for that judgement," she stated flatly. "You're right. I was critical because not every noble is as bad as the ones you've been around, like the woman who--took me in when I had nobody. Nothing. But I told you, you're right, okay? I hate most nobility too after all the crap they've done to me, and I judge people based off it too. I told you already, I shouldn't have just...been critical of you. All I ask is we both try and not place people into boxes. Be cautious of them, sure, but know not all are horrible people."
Cal understood some mistrust came from trauma. She understood that better than so many people did. Nobles abused her, bullied her, hurt her, but Mama was her world. Avaliyah Thorne was the sweetest human being on Lux, as far as Cal was concerned. But more than that, she hated men because of trauma, and yet she tried, so hard, to try and acknowledge not all were pieces of shit. Her brother was not, and she adored him. It was just hard to see others in that light, especially noblemen, after everything. "I was being--a hypocrite, okay? Wasn't the best move."
Trauma. Cal wanted it gone, she wanted it all just fucking gone, but that was never going to happen, and it pissed her off. It pissed her off that she and so many others had to go through hell, simply because they were not born into nobility, or because their parents were just asses. No way in hell was she getting any deeper into any of it with Sapphira. She had said what she had to, and even then, it felt way too raw and open, like a gaping wound, bleeding her soul. Horrible. And yes, maybe she had been raised by the nobles, but that was why she knew them better than Sapphira did, that was why she suffered from them in a way that nobody else would: because she had been their scapegoat amongst them at their galas. She had been the pollution to their noble blood. She had been the rat to step on, the one born in a slum in a foreign city. So they'd hurt her for it because they couldn't kill her without the entire militia burning their estates to the ground. So they'd suffice with abuse. Cal nodded once. "Thanks," she mumbled.
Oh no. No, no, no-- Crying, Sapphira was crying and it had Cal averting her eyes. Good grief, she had no idea what to do, did she offer her a--a what? She didn't carry around tissues, had nothing. Instead, Cal shifted on the bench tapping a finger on the hilt of her sword, praying she'd stop that emotional floodgate soon. She could handle kids crying no problem. But adults? No way. She didn't judge Sapphira at all for it, really, it was just that Cal had no experience helping people who cried, and that Cal herself had been hit every time she dared cry as a child. It had had her learning how to hold it all in since she was seven years old. "I, um, yeah. I appreciate that, that you'll work on the assumptions." She honestly did, and she was also relieved they both had been able to apologize for what they had done or said that was not the best, and move forward. Because apologies were really one of Cal's weaknesses. She was not good at offering them, but again, offending a co-worker was not a great idea, and she had enough in common with Sapphira to know she had indeed fucked up and owed Daenerys an apology.
"Well, it..." She paused, considered, then tapped the violet against her arm. "Maybe it's a sign of growth that you didn't. Or it's better when you're in smaller groups, I dunno." Why am I even trying to help her? We are not friends.
Maybe because, for Caledonia, losing her temper was explosive, so seeing anyone else, like Sapphira, lose theirs was essentially nothing in her eyes. Everyone had a different way of losing it, to be sure, and Cal was not quiet about it. For her particularly, though, she had never been taught how to properly hold in her rage. Mama had tried, but the damage from an abusive orphanage atop so much abuse and bullying in Voxthain had done its damage on the child she had once been. Cal's temper followed her everywhere she went and all she did.
"I, uh, I'm glad." Cal stiffened, though, a small hiss of hurt curling through her gut like smoke. Why had Sapphira turned away from her? She clamped her lips shut before she could say something she regretted. Was she too angry for her? Probably. Sapphira was strong in her own right, in what Cal knew of her, but she was also very pastel and ruffles and sweet and pink, and Cal was...harsh and angry and dark. Maybe she was scaring the crap out of Sapphira, or maybe Sapphira was judging her. Daenerys was quite feminine in the way she dressed. If she was judging Cal as being a masculine slob, well...screw her. But she didn't feel like asking, already wound up about too much lately. She wasn't even sure, anyway--Sapphira had been kind about emotions and trauma, and so maybe she didn't hate her.
"That's okay. It's mainly a militia situation. I mean, it's everyone's situation, the murders--we're all concerned, but the militia is doing all we can to try and keep people safe as well as find the culprits." She had spent so many late nights trying to puzzle it out, put clues together. Mama had released more safety bulletins, saying that there would be extra soldiers posted at night, and that they were willing to walk citizens home. Advising people to stay in groups. What Cal wanted to do was punch a Seavey, the witches who liked to pretend all was sunshine and rainbows in Voxthain. "Try and stay with others when you walk at night, yeah?" She asked. "And word of advice, whatever garbage the paper says about the city being safe from the murders, just--ignore it. Be cautious and aware."
Cal froze, hand on the stem of the violet. What had that look been? Had Sapphira been hoping to pin the murders on nobility? Something akin to disgust ran through Cal, but it passed as she tried to shake it off. You would blame them too, she reminded herself. More accurately, Alianna Calico, but the bitch had run off six years ago, and Cal truly hoped she was, well. Dead. The blonde, Cal was certain, had killed before, so if she had been here, she would have pinned this on her, too. But who knew, maybe it was a Calico or a Delacroix, certainly nobody was off Cal's list of suspects. But she decided not to push Sapphira's look.
"Well, I'm teaching them three places. Orphanages, for the kids there, the community center for anyone else, and the militia headquarters. I mean, I've enlisted the help of some other soldiers, I...don't really know what you could do in this case. Just since those of us teaching defense are...trained in it. You could come by to a class though? Learn the basics, and then...go from there, I guess." Caledonia always taught defense classes to the kids and the women at the shelters she funded, but she had expanded the classes after the murders became a problem. Any chance to help people stand a chance against whoever was picking people off, she would take.
"Exactly. And so far the mages and scientists haven't really found much, but we keep sending them particles we find, and they're researching any old tech that has the ability to drain magic." She shivered despite the drop in the breeze, briefly touching the soft purple petals of the violet. Draining magic was not something normal, she had never seen it before, and it left her skin prickling with unease. Cal had seen so many shriveled bodies, grey and decayed, and that bloody B on the head of all of them had her tossing and turning. It was...horrific. "Some metal pieces, but also random particles we've sent to the mages. And we scour the scenes, they're just--not big enough to confirm they come from any one machine. But I agree, it has to be that or magic. Honestly? Maybe both somehow."
Cal nodded once, curt. "Just--I guess it makes sense why you'd have that, but I will let them know." It had her uneasy, on edge, that clinics and hospitals were not having the oversight she had believed them to have. How had bad people like this slipped through the Thornes' fingers? Vali was certainly got going to be happy.
"No, it--it's fine. I was just as...surprised you were interested in the kids, too." I just didn't show my shock as much as you. Then again, Cal came from a place where she had to hide her emotions; Sapphira did not. "And admittedly I didn't give them as much thought, but may as well try and help by coming with you and seeing what you do. Though I more meant the clinic. to go with you there," she admitted, and then nodded, thinking through what Sapphira said she did. Cal felt her cheeks burn. How had she not considered much that the elderly would need help shopping for things and getting their food cooked? It was admirable Sapphira spent time with them, really. They just had a very different generation they helped: Cal, the kids, and Sapphira, the elderly. They bookended the people. "Yeah. That sounds good to me. I'll check with the Thornes first chance I get. Maybe three days from now? Give me time to speak to them." Just a message. Or a meeting with Lady Thorne. Nothing big. Good grief, Cal could kill six people with her bare hands but turn into a scaredy cat around her ex's mom. Go figure.
Her eyes widened. "Uh. I--no. Not really. I mean, I can cook basic meals but they're not good and admittedly, I lose patience for it." Cal bit her lip, running her hand through her hair again, before she brushed the violet's soft petals against her cheek. "But I can cook a basic array, yes. Stews, soups, breads, eggs, toasts, basic meat roast." While the Haydens did have a chef, the true reason Cal actually knew how to cook was not a happy one, but she wasn't getting into that with Sapphira. She had a lot of food insecurity that would never go away no matter what, its sharp claws digging into a neglectful childhood and then one of mistreatment years later. She had had to fend for herself when she was at her father's place, while earlier she had asked the cook at the Hayden estate to teach her, paranoid her mother was going to take away the food she'd been giving her as a child. Now, August made most of the family's meals because he loved to cook, but their cook was a kinder elderly woman who adored her job, who had taught Auggie, and Katarina loved her chef dearly. None of the staff in her mother's home were treated poorly at all.
"Office, please." Cal had multiple locks on her office door, and to her, it was simpler for Sapphira to send it under the door if she wasn't in. She knew magic hackers existed, and was not the best at transmutation, albeit she could do basic messages because she sometimes had to for the militia. "Thank you."
