Chronically ill chaos discussion

Feel free to vent here :)

Okay

Got an x ray today and if I don’t start wearing my brace (more like a torture device) more often imma need spinal fusion and they’re gonna put a metal rod in my back and yeah 😭

oh no 😭

Oh no!!!! I’m sorry!! 😣

@kyla how are you now?

So uhhhh I basically lost all of my friends in 3 months soooo fun yeah! Now gotta make new friends and deal with school and I'm so freaking overwhelmed and frustrated

I was Soo stressed this week bc I'm going into highschool!!!!

oof good luck! i always get super anxious starting a new school year. guys idk if any of you can help but i have reasons to believe i have ocd but my mom doesnt believe me
i tried to explain certain things or reasons to her but she doesnt believe me and thinks she knows everything there is to know about me which gets annoying...! if any of you have ocd or could help i would appreciate it

i don't have ocd but i can relate with that thing about your mom 😭😭 it's so annoying fr

Brinley wrote: "I was Soo stressed this week bc I'm going into highschool!!!!"

me too 😭 im like somewhat excited but also really stressed...

I’m also going into high school lol, but I went to a middle school out of my zone, so now I’m going to a high school in my zone which means I’m literally the only one in my friend group going to this high school 😭 everyone else is going to the high school that was right next to the middle school, and I’m gonna be all alone 💀 also they screwed up our schedules so I have AFJROTC and art when I wanted Health and Creative Writing, and I’m super stressed about that even tho im it’s gonna be fixed
So yeah. At least im joining a few clubs (book club, book bowl, academic team, library volunteer, HOSA, maybe SGA, and maybe Dungeons and Dragons) (how am I going to fit all of these clubs into my schedule lollllll)

Anyways high school is so fricking scary and my school is huge and I’m scared, but whatever thats my rant :)

Sai :) wrote: "i don't have ocd but i can relate with that thing about your mom 😭😭 it's so annoying fr"


ahh ikikkk

Abigail wrote: "I’m also going into high school lol, but I went to a middle school out of my zone, so now I’m going to a high school in my zone which means I’m literally the only one in my friend group going to th..."

that's so relatable, last year i switched middle schools and was so scared of not finding any friends

@ava.snow that’s so real i have anxiety and ocd but my parents js say stop being nervous abt stuff… thanks i didnt think about that next time i have an anxiety attack and i can breathe ill remember that 😀

This evening has been rough. For context, I have a tic disorder called Tourette’s. I had a really violent tic attack about 5 minutes ago, and it felt like my whole body was being electrocuted with fire. That’s the best way I can describe it to those who don’t have tics. Pretty much I’m exhausted and frustrated.

I'm so sorry ml...

I have tourettes too

I’m sorry, I know it sucks

I’m sorry that sounds terrible <3

My mom blames all of my problems on screens/my phone. Or she says there must be a problem in my brain. I freak out panic and cry a bunch when food tastes or looks different or has a different texture for example and she compares me to when I was little and I would eat anything and I freak out and have no emtotional control when it’s about food at all. UM I LITERALLY HAD AN EATING DISORDER AND WAS HOSPITALIZED PLUS SENSORY ISSUES??? Like of course food being different affects me. And of course I’m struggling with emotions after that. Seriously I can’t do this anymore. And her solution for EVERYTHING is less screen time. Goodreads is my way of coping, other screens distract me from my nausea I have (from my physical health stuff) because otherwise I freak out about it a bunch (I have emetophobia.). Ugh idk what to do

Not to bring the attention away from others (I joined this group even though I don’t have a medical conditon/illness) but I need to rant about these bitches who raised me (sry for swearing I don’t normally I’m js pissed rn)

I genuinely don’t understand how the fuck parents can so fucking bitchy like idc if ur old now u used to be teenagers too you used to be in situations I’m in like why the fuck can’t u empathize why do u think ur better than me bc ur older? Like stop bitching to me about how ungrateful I am and everythjng you’ve done for me idc if u give me food and buy clothes and give a roof over my head or a bed to sleep in yes I get some people don’t have these things and I shouldn’t take it for granted but fuck you yes I fucking taking this for granted. Taking care of me is a fucking job I’m not trying to sound spoiled but u are my guardian my care taker and my parent. You fucking signed up for this when you decided to become a parent like take responsibility I am grateful b I shouldn’t have tk be reminded of that fact js bc you give me basic needs that every human deserves

Sometimes you prob don’t even see me as a person js ur fucking child who had to fit ur expectations you threaten me and yell at me and generally be bitchy and then expect me to like magically change to fit ur mold of me and I hate it I hate it so much j hate you and then u have the fucking audacity to tell me that I can tell you anything NO I FUCKING CANNOT BITCH like BE SOR FOR REAL RN I can’t trust you with ANYTHJNG you proven over and over you don’t give a fuck about my mental healthy and that I can’t talk to u

Bro my silence is called attitude and me opening my mouth is talking back like bruhhh

I AM A PERSON I HAVE NEEDS THATS WHAT MAKES ME HUMAN I HAVE FUCKJNG EMOTIONS AND U ARE MY PARENT AND THAT IS NOT A REASON TL BE FUCKING TOXOC

What u bitching at me for yes I have emotions fucking deal with it you just want me to always be happy and compliant and obedient like fuck you and your attitude

minnie |hiatus| {zoey bias} wrote: "I genuinely don’t understand how the fuck parents can so fucking bitchy like idc if ur old now u used to be teenagers too you used to be in situations I’m in like why the fuck can’t u empathize why..."

I am so glad you brought this up. I feel like it's everyday I hear my guardian venting about how she has too many kids and she cant live her life. You were the one who decided to get banged up, so take responsibility for it. The woman doesn't even take care of me basic needs, I literally go to school in 2 days, I don't have none of my supplies. I have to go on an adventure for food like I'm Dora the explorer.

I cant even speak up for myself because its considered "disrespectful". Just because your old and have gray ass hair doesn't mean our feelings are inferior to yours.

No same bc like do u expect me to take care of myself yes yes you do bc now that I’m a teenager I have to be responsible and can’t be too needy and take care of myself bc ur too busy at work providing for me and yes I get that but I’m ur freaking child like I have needs

@alexis exactly like idc if u older than me ur not better ur not always right I see u with ur long ass nose looking down on me like STOP.

Oh btw sorry for saying “u” it’s just easier when I’m ranting about o pretend I’m yapping tk my parents

minnie |hiatus| {zoey bias} wrote: "No same bc like do u expect me to take care of myself yes yes you do bc now that I’m a teenager I have to be responsible and can’t be too needy and take care of myself bc ur too busy at work provid..."

Its like once we have hit a certain age we have to take care of ourselves. I get that you have hardships and shit, but you still have kids in need of care.

minnie |hiatus| {zoey bias} wrote: "@alexis exactly like idc if u older than me ur not better ur not always right I see u with ur long ass nose looking down on me like STOP."

BRO FR. I literally was writing about my feelings and of course they were deep and dark, but its how I felt. She found out and went batshit on me, se was like" do you need help? You need to talk about your feelings." How the fuck am I supposed to do that when you get mad and yell at me for speaking.

Ava ౨ৎ wrote: "My mom blames all of my problems on screens/my phone. Or she says there must be a problem in my brain. I freak out panic and cry a bunch when food tastes or looks different or has a different textu..."

my dad's like that, except instead of general problems it's every "bad grade" or whatever i get and the reason is that i don't study enough. like he has zero empathy and doesn't understand that i actually have interests above academics. like he literally didn't even know what empathy meant until a few days ago. like bro i am not your perfect carbon copy please try to understand how i feel!!!!

Anyone else just really hates overthinking? Like I could be going through and amazing patch of your life or just having a great time and then BOOM your mind is like "lmao these guys hate you and they're spending time with you cause they feel pity for your dumbass" and then my whole day goes to hell! Or when I'm eating and I catch someone staring at smth close to me and my mind goes like "they think you're a fatty and you're eating too much but they won't say anything because they know you're recovering from an eating disorder, like god can't you just be like everyone else?"

So uhm that's my current life and I'm sorry for the long paragraph and the language lol

fr I literally overthink everything and I relate to that so so much

Gabi ୨ৎ wrote: "Anyone else just really hates overthinking? Like I could be going through and amazing patch of your life or just having a great time and then BOOM your mind is like "lmao these guys hate you and th..."

Omg yessss i overthink every thing!! The crazy thing is that i didnt even know this until last year, which is crazy. One day im jst yapping yapping yapping yapping in my mind abt smthing and then im just like BAM " omg, your an overthinker..." And im jst like "omg." I didnt know this but i was overthinking since like 3RD GRADE. Keep in mind that my age is (higher then 13, lower than 18. Dont feel comfortable w showing my age bc of creeps!!) So i was just like omggggggg

Gabi ୨ৎ wrote: "Anyone else just really hates overthinking? Like I could be going through and amazing patch of your life or just having a great time and then BOOM your mind is like "lmao these guys hate you and th..."

THIS IS LITERALLY ME like im always wondering if everyone secretly hates me and if they're saying stuff behind my back and if my friends think im weird or whatever, like my brain just exaggerates every little thing and im genuinely surprised when i realize that someone actually likes me

Yeahhh so I just humiliated myself in a school project I spent hours working on… I literally made a fool of myself and then I started crying in front of everyone so that was fun 😁

Oh no I’m really sorry <3

It’s alr but now I literally can’t stop crying and I’m still in school and I wanna die rn lol! I’d love if the ground just opened up and swallowed me