Support for Indie Authors discussion

Iffix wrote: "And, since I missed your posts somehow, thanks for the encouragement from everyone who didn't make me feel like a lonely idiot who couldn't write a blurb to save his life."

It was never my intention to make you feel that way. As I said before, I was the same. I invested quite a bit of time and effort trying to write what I thought was a good blurb.

I got generally positive noises in a similar group to this, but gentle criticisms about it being "spoilerish."

I try to accept criticisms positively, especially if I invite opinions, but can become defensive myself.

However, I was happier in the end, when I listened to criticisms and responded to them.

I am uncomfortable playing such a DA. I feel the warmth of positive support in this group and I hope I reciprocate. That is why I stressed that I was being purposefully critical and indicated that I don't want to come across as arrogant.

Criticism from GG (no less) had me renumbering all the chapters in my book to create a prologue from Chapter 1!

I am happier with it now.

The 25% rule is good, i.e. don't worry what you tell your reader about the first 25% of your book , beyond this be very purposeful about what you choose to disclose.

I think the hobbit trailer featured scenes of the battle at the end of the film.

I wouldn't disclose plot reversals, or even hint that there is a twist, but I might suggest that there were unexpected outcomes.

I never implied that you did. When I wrote to thank everyone for the encouragement, you were in the mix.

And though DA role makes you uncomfortable, please stick with it. Others like me need help from more like yourself who see the flaw and aren't afraid to mention it for the good of the book.

Actually, I had the same experience you did with prologue. I had started Impulse off with a secondary character, and I needed the main characters in Chapter 1. That decision changed the formatting for the entire series, and since I needed to split a novel into novellas, it told me where to break the story. I think, Anthony, you and I probably have a lot in common.

Iffix wrote: "Thanks for helping me fix it, Anthony! You rock!"

Thanks Iffix, but I claim no authority. I don't know that it is fixed, but when I compare;

1)
Gazing into a starlit sky for the very first time, Jendra is certain she has followed Amnesia into paradise. But dangers lurk in the night, and life is about to change in ways she never could have imagined. Ress Janoa may not be the paradise she was hoping for.

2)

Racing to Amnesia’s aid has left Jendra stranded with her on an alien world. Yet on their first night together, as Jendra gazes into a starlit sky for the very first time, she imagines she may have found the world of her dreams.

Alas, dangers lurk in the night, and life is about to change in ways Jendra never could have imagined. As Amnesia tries to unlock the secrets of her past, she becomes caught up in a sinister deception that might just be her downfall. When the world of Jendra’s dreams is transformed into a chaotic nightmare, can the friends band together against a menace who threatens to tear them apart?

I would pick 2, hands down.

In fact I might ask the guy that wrote 2, to look at my blurb, if I were brave enough.

"Jendra's Paradise is About to be Shattered"
Is, I think, not bad, but the perfect line may jump at you as you redraft your book.

Thanks for the reply. (And are you brave enough?) :D

So I've been working all day on this with some help from a tremendous author friend of mine.

What do you think?

I like it, but I would put a little more black border on the text.

Can do. TY for the comment.

I wanted to let you know that the book itself is going to be 6x9. (And it's a novella size [129 pages], so the binding really is that narrow). So the margins on the current product are closer to Beyond the Valley of Thorns on the previous page. That being said, I have a couple of questions...

1) I liked that the tag-line jagged slightly to the right of the other text. But should the text actually be aligned with the tagline? Is it better to put the tagline in the center?

2) I have been considering a black border around a (perhaps brown) box with the blurb inside. I think it would be a nice design feature. Any thoughts on this?

2 The text on the back cover does not "pop" - I'm not sure how it would look with the "border", maybe the text color should be yellow instead of white... it just doesn't "beg to be read" the way it is.
If I may add a comment regarding the text of the blurb itself, perhaps it might grab the reader if the language was more "urgent" sounding like this: Racing to Amnesia's aid, Jendra is straded on an alien world.
She discovers a starlit sky on the first night she spends with Amdesia..." I hope I'm not being presumptious making these kind of suggestions, I thought it might be helpful if the text is more gripping. I know i've stood in the bookstore reading back covers and deciding to buy the book right there.
I'd love to rewrite the blurb in its entirety and submit it to you to consider. Again, I hope this is not too much to put in this "comment" -- A.

A, I like the suggestion, but I think I'd rather ramp up the pacing on the second paragraph. The book starts out pleasant, so I want the first paragraph to seem pleasant, almost tranquil, so it can ramp up and blow minds by the end of ¶2.

And, A, if you're up for it, go ahead and give it a shot. (If you want to see how the book reads to get further ideas, write me a personal message, and I'll send you a copy.)

1- The only thing I'd consider changing would be the position of the word 'about'. I'd move it to the top line, and center both lines. I think to leave the words 'to be shattered' by themselves on their own line would make a bigger statement.

2- I like the idea of a box, but maybe because that's what my son did for my back covers. He likes to draw part of the cover to the back, but sometimes, like yours, it's too dark so this is what he did to fix the problem. It could still be more defined with contrast, but the important thing is that it looks good in print. And it does.

https://www.goodreads.com/photo/autho...

We didn't have the problem with the first book but still, I think it added a little touch to the back, which is too often neglected.

https://www.goodreads.com/photo/autho...

On a side note, I love the image on your cover. :)

EDITED: I can't read the red text on the cover to the left of the dragon. It may not be important for the iBook, but make sure it will come clear on the print version at least.

Note that if I'm unresponsive for the next few days, I'm not trying to be rude or snub you. I'm traveling.

We will still love you Iffix.

Boy, that was posted twice. It must be true then. But then Abraham Lincoln says everything is true on the internet.

I'm at work doing this on my mobile. Things often post twice. But you may take it however you wish.

Thanks to all of you for your help with the previous blurb. With your help, I was able to smooth it out in a way that I felt happy about. Come July, that book will be released. And if everything goes according to plan, the 3rd book, Conspiracy, will be released in October. From this point forward, I would like to seek your help regarding this third book in the series.

CONTINUING ON TO ROUND 2:

(Tag-line) Prepare for a Cold Blooded Conspiracy!

(Blurb)
Princess Nyrielle has just agreed to abandon her closest friends and follow Gavyn, a lizan assassin whom she knows markedly little about, into a dangerous world filled with voracious monsters. What could possibly go wrong?

When Nyrielle discovers that her old friend Emilia has followed her to Velek, she determines the little Karesh girl must return home for her own safety. But when Emilia decides to take matters into her own hands and continue the quest for her father deeper into Velek, the decision could spell disaster.

As they search for Emilia, both Nyrielle and Gavyn fall into the hands of a duplicitous minion of the notorious queen Kalysta. Her imminent arrival could bring the conspiracy to destroy Nyrielle to its sinister conclusion.



Any advice or help you wish to offer would be greatly appreciated.