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Weekly Poetry Stuffage > Week 30th (January 6th-13th) Poems---Topic: Computers DONE!!

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message 1: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments HAHHAHhhahahahahAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAAAA! That made me laugh... as you can see. :P Love the beautiful descriptions... "Woe is me!..... haphazard crap.... mush... blast." Hahahahahha!

My favorite parts are "Woe is me! I hit a stumbling block and blundered over it like a fool," and of course "Writer's block is not real, I say.... Only to find that I just killed my main character off."

Good job, Al! If this doesn't scream Al, I don't know what does. ;]


message 2: by Thomas (Marimbapanda) (last edited Jan 06, 2010 09:17PM) (new)

Thomas (Marimbapanda) | 328 comments The Computer and It's Boy

The computer sits there,
looking at me,
what it wants,
I can not see.

Out of the blue,
low and behold,
On flashed the screen,
so I needn't be told.

Malfunction,
said the metal man with a scheme,
Lost connection with server,
I got angry and began to scream.

The plan had worked,
to blow my mind,
And sure I knew,
the machine was not kind.

Another message popped up,
this one no good,
150 NEW messages to read,
yet I knew none who could.

I got fed up,
and left the room,
the room with bad luck,
and where bad spirits loom.

I told myself,
this isn't so bad,
that it would be fixed,
yet I was still mad.

So here I am,
in another room steaming,
at the metal man in my room,
that seemed to be gleaming.


Thomas (Marimbapanda) | 328 comments I hope people like this one. I wrote it in a different way then usual.


Thomas (Marimbapanda) | 328 comments Yours was really good too. I liked how it told a story.


message 5: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments I like that poem a lot, Thomas. :] Writing with a different approach payed off. :]


message 6: by [deleted user] (new)

Monotony
by Sarah M.

Every aspect of
my life is planned
from reading a book
to washing my hands
At eight I must be here
But at three I must leave
They say "Try your best
but stay in your league."
I'm creative at eleven
but that quickly ends
for numbers at noon
and lunch with my 'friends'
It's a so predictable
like an old computer game:
at first it was fun
but now it's just lame
Gym, music,
history tests
what's so important about
a room full of pests?
I need a break
from this monotony
won't anyone out there
listen to me?

Ahh, Saturday...

((Hmm, anti-public school. Not my original plan, but okay!))


Thomas (Marimbapanda) | 328 comments It is so realistic that it is funny.


message 8: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments Wow, Sarah! My favorite so far. :]


message 9: by [deleted user] (new)

Thank you, guys!


message 10: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments What was up with the blank post, Al? Lol.


message 11: by Amanda (new)

Amanda (dreamweaver38) | 509 comments ahaha. Al's yours was hilarious and ended perfectly.

I liked Thomas' as well, it was full of rage...

Sarah's was great as well, so much passion and so true.

ugh... now I have to come up with something.... hmmm...


message 12: by Aysha (new)

Aysha (ayshabkhan) Love Sarah's. Al's was hilarious, as usual :)
I'm going to have to work on this...


message 13: by Aysha (new)

Aysha (ayshabkhan) Oh! I have an old on which sort of relates. It doesn't mention computers though...it's called "Memory Card", is that close enough? I might fix it up a bit too.


message 14: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments Let's see it! :D


message 15: by Aysha (last edited Jan 11, 2010 02:46AM) (new)

Aysha (ayshabkhan) Well, it's an old one, so it's not that good. But here it is:

memory card

saved the data of the while,
carefully labeled every file,

organized them by the day,
then safely put the case away.

came back and pulled out the stop,
screamed absurd anger, over the top.

watched the locks glimmer, glimmer then melt,
but you couldn't breathe for what you felt.

crawled between white sheets and counted tears,
dreamt of the reign of your fears.

switched life onto autopilot,
had the number in mind, but no reason to dial it.

now you hear headlines, turn down the sound,
close spider eyes, mascara-crowned.

see it disappear in freckled fingers,
drop it on the desk, but the feeling lingers.

maybe you'll keep it - maybe you'll leave it -
didn't think it’d end, but you have to believe it.

just what is there left for you to keep?
only barren fields for you to reap.

throw away the memory card -
the data in which your crushed dreams starred.

---
So...as you see, little computer involved.


message 16: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments :D Tempust, I'm so glad you posted that! Fantastic!


Thomas (Marimbapanda) | 328 comments Al's was awesome, as usual. I could understand and feel the frustration and mood of the poem.
Sarah has so much truth and feeling mixed into one.

I wish I could have more than just a poem with negative feelings.


message 18: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments :(
Thomas, your POST just oozed negativism. Haha. Your poem didn't! I really enjoyed it! :D


message 19: by Amanda (new)

Amanda (dreamweaver38) | 509 comments Tempust... wow...


message 20: by Aysha (new)

Aysha (ayshabkhan) oh hai amanda :) thanks! looking forward to reading whatever you (please specify one: DO or DO NOT) submit this week



Thomas (Marimbapanda) | 328 comments Hanzle, Whenever I try writing a poem, it almost always twists towards the negative side, not the positive.


message 22: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments Yes, I understand Thomas. I hear this kind of thing with Al all the time. :P It's mostly with her piano song writing. Haha.


Thomas (Marimbapanda) | 328 comments Wait? Piano song writing? You write songs?


message 24: by Aysha (last edited Jan 11, 2010 11:51PM) (new)

Aysha (ayshabkhan) Al...I'm jealous. *gives a little whimper*


message 25: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments My sister is very talented... many fine attributes that I can only dream of possessing. :]


message 26: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments Your music "isn't very good".... that's PISH POSH! :P


message 27: by Aysha (last edited Jan 12, 2010 07:57PM) (new)

Aysha (ayshabkhan) Pfft. Al, when you do something, you do it good. I'm sure your music is fantastic.
And if you ever, like, record something or put it one youtube or something, send me a link!


message 28: by Nada (new)

Nada Automaton

Who am I but a similar computer?
Type in a command and I will obey
Without delay
Point to where you wish to go and I will take you there
Without hesitation
But what happens when I make a mistake
When I malfunction
When I break down?
Toss me aside and there I will stay
Tear me apart until I cannot ever be the same
Or will I be shut down
Permanently?
Without choice
Without voice
Without you ever knowing that I lived to save
You
And for you
But do not fear my feelings
I am powerless to your commands
And you will feel no emotion towards me
Without my screams
Or singing
Because from the beginning you put me on
Mute



message 29: by Aysha (new)

Aysha (ayshabkhan) I like the desperation you created in your poem, Nada. :)


message 30: by [deleted user] (new)

I third that! Great job :D


message 31: by Aysha (new)

Aysha (ayshabkhan) ...poll is going up today, right?


Thomas (Marimbapanda) | 328 comments Nada, your poem takes on another point of view I did not consider. Good Job!!!


message 33: by Nada (new)

Nada Um, thanks!
Al, your poem is so funny! That's usually how I overcome writer's block too XD
Sarah, your poem is easy to relate to, as school is not fun :(
Thomas, I feel your anger. Computers hate me too and love to be slow or not respond just to get me mad (I don't know how to make an angry face...)
Tempust, I don't know why, but your poem made me smile even though it isn't very happy. Maybe because it all rhymed :)


message 34: by Aysha (new)

Aysha (ayshabkhan) Yeah, my writing tends to have that affect on people...
NOT. lol, thanks though :)

Let me repeat:
poll is going up today, right?
and in case you decided to skim over my post...

POLLPOLLPOLLPOLLPOLLPOLLPOLLPOLLPOLLPOLLPOLLPOLLPOLLPOLLPOLL!


message 35: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments Ok, I'll put them up right now.


message 36: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments They are up!


message 37: by Aysha (new)

Aysha (ayshabkhan) yay!


message 38: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments :D Tough decision, as always this week.


message 39: by Amanda (new)

Amanda (dreamweaver38) | 509 comments I feel saddened...

My acursed Final Projects prevented me from creating magnificent computer related works of art, let alone check up on stuff. :'(

I shall have to combat that by write throiugh exam week!!! Mwahaha.

I is sorry guys for not participating...

All you're poems are very wonderful!


message 40: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments :( I know... I feel the same way. I didn't write anything for this topic. Amanda, I can't wait for the next topics in the future because I absolutely love your writing! :D


Thomas (Marimbapanda) | 328 comments Actually Nada, I am very good with computers.


message 42: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments Haha. :P


message 43: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments ¡De nada! :D


message 44: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments Sorry I didn't vote for yours. It was my second choice... it really was difficult. :(


message 45: by Amanda (new)

Amanda (dreamweaver38) | 509 comments awww... merci buckets Hanzle.


message 46: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments You're quite welcome. :] And you say merci buckets?! Hahaha! Funny. :D


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