fiction files redux discussion

In the book I am currently reading there is a scene between two lovers in which promises to haunt the other after her death.

This got me wondering ‘what would it like to actually be haunted by a lover?’ Would I want such attentions? To be clear, I do not mean to be haunted by the memory of the person, but by the actual specter itself.

What do you think? Should we let the dead rest where they lie? Or would it be satisfying to be haunted by the one you love?

. . . sounds potentially suffocating to me . . . i like the idea of a ghost being in love with someone who doesn't know they exist . . . i think jonathan carroll might've already done that, though . . .

i would not like to be actually haunted by anyone. i would find that confusing and would worry a lot (more) about life after death and god and stuff like that.

on the other hand, if my dead lover wanted to send me real chocolates every day, that would be okay. or money.

I like that you have healthy boundaries, Ben.

Who says we aren't being haunted all the time... but it's not really haunting, it's just being watched?

I went to a psychic circle once where the psychic claimed that by the end of the 2 hours we were all surrounded by the souls who watched over us. Including our animals. I have no idea who was standing around me, but if there were a whole bunch of people (or my dog) there I would have taken their money and chocolates. No one gave me any, though. No flowers, either. That IS rude, come to think of it.

But I'm kinda glad my dog didn't give me chocolates. They would have been a slobbery mess and she shouldn't be anywhere NEAR chocolate...

This reminds me of the gorgeous film Truly, Madly, Deeply where Juliet Stevenson's dead boyfriend, played by the sublime Alan Rickman, comes back to her as a ghost and hangs out in her apartment. At first she is ecstatic and so happy to have him back but after awhile it becomes an inconvenience and she is ready to move on within the world of the living. I think it would be like that for me too.

i like meeting new people (or spirits)... so i'd prefer strangers haunting me. and they do sometimes too!!

@Kerry -
I was thinking about that film all the time while reading this book and/or thinking about this topic.
My conclusions so far are that the movie is tremendously similar to how I feel such an experience would be. At first there would be this crushing, weighted feeling of completely and total hopeless loss. But gradually one would mend and move on. And if a spirit lingered that could hinder other life experiences.

No, I take that back. It would depend utterly on the laws of the haunting. What are the boundaries, if any, of 'my' ghost in terms of both distance (how far can they travel) and personal space? How did they die? How was our relationship WHEN they died?

When I think about it in terms of the movie, Up, for example, I think I would like very much to be haunted (particularly by Dennis), because if he was not bound to the cemetery or the house there would be so many adventures we could have!