Terminalcoffee discussion

So, is anyone else like me and too nervous about confrontation to actually tell someone something, but instead write a letter that you hope you will one day have the guts to send to someone?

Not letters. I just vent in my journal. If I write a letter, I send it.

The trouble with email is that it's way too quick and easy to send one that you really should have put under your pillow to sleep on.

BunWat wrote: "I was going to say yes, based on the title. But no, based on the first post.

I do write letters to people who make me angry in order to clarify my thoughts and relieve my feelings, and I have n..."

I think I do it for a lot of the same reasons you listed as well; it's about getting things clear and comprehensible more than making a real point. I just wish I could get up the courage to then say (at least some) of those things once they're clear, but it's probably better in the long run; prevents unnecessary bridge-burning.

I have sent venting emails. That's almost always a bad idea.

You're right, Bun. That, along with the "you can't unsay the said" factor makes me much less likely to say things. Is it worth hurting their feelings? Sometimes is has to be said, but a whole lot of times, it doesn't.

RandomAnthony wrote: "I have sent venting emails. That's almost always a bad idea."

I have never allowed myself to do that, although I have come close with thinly veiled rants on Facebook that essentially perform the same function, the only difference being that it is not 100% clear who the target it (hopefully anyway).

Larry wrote: "The trouble with email is that it's way too quick and easy to send one that you really should have put under your pillow to sleep on."

I agree.

I used to do this on paper- until I neglected to shred one and it saw the light of day. I never, ever put anything in writing now, unless I'm comfortable with the world seeing it.

I am the Queen of Unsent Furious E-mails. Bun's right, you almost never change someone's mind, but sometimes I need to vent.

I can't even say how many furious, enraged TC posts I have typed, then sat still and listened to the birds until I calmed down, then deleted.

I don't think I've ever done that.

You're serious?

The whole idea strikes me as sad, tragic, and completely pathetic, not to mention reeking of cowardice.

It's like drinking O'Doul's while listening to a radio-edit version of the MC5's "Kick Out the Jams," where "Kick out the jams motherfuckers" is replaced with "Kick out the jams brothers and sisters."

Why take the time to write it all out if you're not going to send it? It's wasted effort. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist we now settle with an unsent letter, probably sprayed down with perfume and hearts instead of dots over the "i"'s? Another signpost on the road to Armageddon...

I didn't really follow any of that.

Allow me to translate: Because Clark doesn't bother with the filters sometimes required to get along with other human beings, he thinks that anyone who has and uses such filters is a wussy.

Ah.

You're the best.

I have written quite a few letters that haven't been sent recently. It is good to vent all the emotions sometimes without passing them on to the person they are aimed at.

I do that occasionally, or just mentally transmit what I wish I could say into a little blank book that I've locked away in a cupboard.

Amber wrote: "So, is anyone else like me and too nervous about confrontation to actually tell someone something, but instead write a letter that you hope you will one day have the guts to send to someone?"

Nope, but I have typed out an angry response to an internet topic, then copied and pasted it into a word document to sit on for a day. If I come back and read it the next day and I still feel the same way, I'll post it. If I realize that everything was typed in anger and most of the feeling has faded, I delete it.

many years ago I wrote a series of letters to my abusive ex spouse detailing how angry I was and how much he had hurt me on every level possible as part of my therapy. not good to repress anger. for women, repressed anger usually turns to depression. and was I depressed. I never mailed the letters, to this day I am afraid of the man. I KNOW what he is capable of doing and have no wish to wave a red flag at him.

Larry wrote: "I didn't really follow any of that."

That doesn't surprise me.

Why drink beer if you're not going to get loaded? For the taste? Let's face it; most beer and liquor tastes like panther piss. I only drink it to remember or to forget.

Why listen to music on the radio if the fuckheads at the FCC are going to tamper with it? It's like watching a movie on TV edited for content.

See where I'm going with this, Larry?

Jammies wrote: "Allow me to translate: Because Clark doesn't bother with the filters sometimes required to get along with other human beings, he thinks that anyone who has and uses such filters is a wussy."


See? Jammies gets it.

::puts hand up::

I am a wussy, but I love that you aren't Clark.

Gail «Cyborg» wrote: "::puts hand up::

I am a wussy, but I love that you aren't Clark."

No you're not, Gail. Aussies are badasses. You know it, I know it, and the guys in Rose Tattoo know it.

Clark you are trying to blow my cover. I just about had these other Yanks convinced. :D

Clark wrote: "Jammies wrote: "Allow me to translate: Because Clark doesn't bother with the filters sometimes required to get along with other human beings, he thinks that anyone who has and uses such filters is a wussy."


See? Jammies gets it."

Please note that Jammies does not necessarily approve, just understands.