Dangerous Hero Addict Support Group discussion

I had a discussion with a person who hates romance because she feels that the heroes are not like real men, and another person said that romance sets women up for failure with its unrealistic perceptions of love and relationships.

I was thinking about my own tastes in romance. Whether I like my heroes perfect or flawed.

If you know me well, you know I like flawed/damaged heroes a LOT. I do like nice guy heroes, but I really don't like heroes too perfect. Nor the heroine. It doesn't draw me into the story as much. Why would I want to read about perfect people and their perfect love? LOL. Personally, I don't use romance as a barometer for real life. It's escapist reading. It doesn't have to mirror what I desire in life 100%. Of course, there are things I don't like in my romance because they remind me of things that bother me in real life, but that's not because I think of romance novels as relationship manuals. It's because they take me out of the story and make me think about my problems too much, and for escapism, that doesn't work very well.

Anyway, I'd like to know what you girls think. Because your opinions matter!

To me, everyone: real life people and fiction characters have flaws. My characters will always have flaws. That makes them real to me. To me a flaw makes a hero more lovable. And it never hurts, if he has a good bad boy side too. :)

I agree that I love a hero more when he's imperfect.

I am a fan of the flawed hero too. It makes them seem more real and interesting. I especially love it if their flaw is something silly or absurd.

Definitely flawed and tortured.

I love them emotionaly flawed but otherwise perfect. So in other words he can't/won't commit to a relationship because of past what ever but aslo he needs to be able to keep me safe in any and every sistuation. If we're lost in the forest he needs to be able to make me shoes out of tree bark to protect my feet (lost the shoes in the raging river he rescued me from), he needs to be able to start a fire with out a match,flint or what ever. If we are lost in the Jungle then he needs to know just what plants to use to protect my skin from any vermin and have an internal compass so that we are always heading in the right direction for escape and how to build the perfect shelter to keep me dry. If we are running from the baddies out to kill me then he needs to have a 6th sence that will allow him to sence danger before he see's it so that my 6 is always protected. =)

If I am understanding you Noelle, you like a capable, competent, non-inept hero?

I can see that. I like a hero who is pretty tough and can take care of himself and others. I don't mind if he has flaws. Maybe he's great with guns, but he is clueless with computers. For me, that feels more real, and I can buy in more. But that's just me.

I get your point though.

I like my heros to be flawed, too. Perfection doesn't interest me because it is too far from human. If someone is truly perfect then they have no need for a partner.

I do like the stories when the guy thinks he's perfect and then finds out he's not.

Seemingly perfect, but with flaws.

Love the flawed guy. He is interesting, hard to figure out or control and lots of fun...In real life when I go for that bad boy, I get burned...But in books, it is fantasy and safe to walk on the wild side.

Can I say perfectly flawed? I'm a true believer in "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" statement. That's why we love our tortured heroes so much. IMO vulnerability equals sexy.

Having said that...I do believe there's a perfect person for everyone (including me - I'm keeping my fingers crossed).

I want more on the perfect side with minor flaws. I know I'm reading fiction and I want that perfect fairy tale like fantasy with the almost perfect man. In real life I will be married for 25 years next week and I know my prince charming is far from perfect but I love em anyway.

Noelle, I thought your comment was going to be EXACTLY the way I feel,BUT I thought you were going to say "flawed but PHYSICALLY perfect"! Ha ha! That's different from Debbie's "seemingly perfect but flawed", ya know? So give me that previously tortured, currently flawed guy that will be ABLE to take care of me (but not push me if I want to do it myself; maybe I just want to TELL him about my problems)but one that is physically beautiful (lets not say perfect, some scars are OK as they just make the guy more interesting!). I admit, looks are one big reason why I read romance! Its not real, folks!

I think that is why I enjoy military/ex-military themes so much. Those poor guys have been thru the wringer but still want to take care of others. And Uncle Sam got them in incredible shape. Yum!

Lady Danielle "The Book Huntress" wrote: "I had a discussion with a person who hates romance because she feels that the heroes are not like real men, and another person said that romance sets women up for failure with its unrealistic perce..."

Ugh, I hate that cliche about the supposed unrealistic expectations we romance readers have. I love dark, mean heroes but there's no way I'm going to stand a guy like that in real life. Romance stories are just a way of entertaining myself, and I don't expect my life to turn out that way. Really, how stupid do people think I'm? I can differentiate between reality and fiction.

MrsJoseph wrote: "I do like the stories when the guy thinks he's perfect and then finds out he's not.
"

I love it when that happens.

I prefer the flawed character to the perfect as long as he's not angsty. One of the reasons I can't stand some vampire heroes is that they are too angsty.

Pamela(AllHoney) wrote: "I want more on the perfect side with minor flaws. I know I'm reading fiction and I want that perfect fairy tale like fantasy with the almost perfect man. In real life I will be married for 25 years..."

25 years Wow! Congrats, Pamela.-- that means he's perfect for you. :-)

Cindi wrote: "I think that is why I enjoy military/ex-military themes so much. Those poor guys have been thru the wringer but still want to take care of others. And Uncle Sam got them in incredible shape. Yum! "

Cindi -- have your read . It falls in the category. The hero's ex-military & working as a cop. I think was good. I gave it a 4 stars.

Yeah, my favorite heroes would be scary and completely off-limits in real life. Honestly, I have never gone for the bad boy in real life. I just love them in books.


And I don't like needy guys, so I certainly wouldn't want a stalkerific type boyfriend!

Cindi wrote: "Noelle, I thought your comment was going to be EXACTLY the way I feel,BUT I thought you were going to say "flawed but PHYSICALLY perfect"! Ha ha! That's different from Debbie's "seemingly perfect..."

Yes Cindi, physical perfection is very improtant.lol That doesn't mean he cant be scared, sometimes that can add to the package. However he must be tall, at least 6' and in good physical condition. This is fantisy after all.

Lady Danielle "The Book Huntress" wrote: "Yeah, my favorite heroes would be scary and completely off-limits in real life. Honestly, I have never gone for the bad boy in real life. I just love them in books.


And I don't like needy guys..."


This is me, too! I love the dark brooding bad boy in books...but I'd loose my mind if I had to deal with that guy in real life, lol! There would be a lot of converstations that would start with "Who do you think you're talking to???"

I dated a stalker once. No stalker/needy men need apply.

Same here. I don't like bossy/domineering/macho guys in real life. Really annoys me. My father wasn't bossy like that, so I can't deal with a guy ordering me around unless he's my employer (and he does it nicely).

Oh My!! Lady D! You have to read this book: Unlocked!!! It's a novella but there's a whole lot of male grovelling going on, lol. Lots. Googobs. Love it.

I have bought it. I like her writing a lot. Can't wait to read it!

I like when the hero is flawed and he has strong tension with the heroine. That makes her fall in love with him even the more.

Prime Example: Sam Starrett and Alyssa Locke.

Sam is my man! (Don't tell Alyssa, I said that.)

Lady Danielle "The Book Huntress" wrote: "I have bought it. I like her writing a lot. Can't wait to read it!"

:-) I'm not finished yet but so far I'm thinking you'll love it!

MrsJ, cool!

Arch, Sam is definitely flawed, but so is Alyssa, so it's a good match.

Flawed hero all the way! And I don't mean just 'flaws that take him away from perfect', like the rich, eligible, super-handsome earl or duke or marquess is a rake. That's superficial flawness to me (also why I'm tempted to throw historical books at the wall lately!). I want a man more complex than that, with real inside/outside damage. Anne Stuart's heroes come to mind here.

I like inside and outside damage too. Tbh, I've never been attracted to the physically perfect hero. I like them to have some kind of thing that takes them away from perfection. I'm not exactly saying I like short heroes or heroes who are out of shape. I am shallow enough to appreciate heroes with a good body and who are tall best. But they don't even have to be handsome or good-looking. I prefer heroes who are rugged and aren't drop-dead gorgeous and know it. I love scarred heroes and heroes who are disabled in some way.

Yes Danielle, Alyssa is flawed as well.

A hero to me doesn't have to be movie star/Soap Opera star handsome. But, I do want a hero that's sarcastic, sassy, and a good bad boy. I want him to get under the heroine's skin sometimes.

I want a hero that makes me be like, "I know he didn't."

It's about the attitude, huh, Arch?

Lady Danielle "The Book Huntress" wrote: "It's about the attitude, huh, Arch?"

Yes Danielle. :)

Arch wrote: "Yes Danielle, Alyssa is flawed as well.

A hero to me doesn't have to be movie star/Soap Opera star handsome. But, I do want a hero that's sarcastic, sassy, and a good bad boy. I want him to get ..."

Yeah, I like that, too. Even better than being handsome is the ability to make someone take notice. When in college I was in the band for a hot minute. Our drum major was not cute at all but he was soooooooo sexy. It was something about the way he handled himself and his attitude. Yum! :-D SO sexy.

Yes, MrsJoseph. The attitude on a good bad boy can make him sexy.

I agree. A guy that isn't necessarily good-looking becomes very appealing if I like his personality, the way he carries himself, and his demeanor.

Maybe it's me, but in a lot of romance books, the hero always starts off as not being good-looking or handsome, but before you know it, he's handsome.

For my character Cop, although I've stated that he looks like Nathan Lyon. I don't write about looks. I like my character's flaw to bring them out.

I like that Cop is a bald, dangerous good bad boy, who can be sarcastic, sassy and gets under Sanjar's skin. I even like that he spoils her. Oh, and he's damaged. Sanjar is a good thing that happen to him.

Cop is definitely damaged. I can see that even though he is relentless in his pursuit of his nemesis, he is very loving with Sanjar.

Arch wrote: "Maybe it's me, but in a lot of romance books, the hero always starts off as not being good-looking or handsome, but before you know it, he's handsome."

Maybe is because in the eyes of the heroine he becomes handsome as soon as she falls in love. I guess love does that to people.

Yes, Luisi.

Love does make you see people through a fuzzy glass.

Lady Danielle "The Book Huntress" wrote: "Love does make you see people through a fuzzy glass."

Soooooo true!

I like how the flawed heroes are the ones that falls in love with the heroine first and he will do everything in his power to be with her, even if she's his nemesis.

Oh what fun he has with her, if he has to save her from getting killed by bad guys that are after her.

There's no perfection! His flaws are what that builds him. :)

Very good point, Ashley.

I love a besotted hero in pursuit, Arch!

Lady Danielle "The Book Huntress" wrote: "Very good point, Ashley.

I love a besotted hero in pursuit, Arch!"

Yes Danielle.

I like them both. I liked a flawed hero because it pulls on my heart strings and I can't help liking him. I want things to be better for him.

I like a perfect hero only if he's the funny/cocky type. The kind that is perfect, knows it, and let's everyone else know it. Like William from Lords of the Underworld (not that he's a hero yet)(and that's just the first example I could come up with)

I am currently reading a book with a very flawed hero. ( ), the H is decidedly NOT nice; tortures, maims and kills - A-LOT. Meets up with h, and treats her same (not the killing part) BUT is very attracted to her. He has a pretty horrific history that explains his current behaviour, but just sooo flawed that I wonder how he will get a HEA. Who will be able to trust this guy, let alone the h?

I know that remorse (see also *groveling*) will be a factor, but is the attraction to these flawed characters based on being lured by the power of being the motivation for his redemption? and is it really plausible that she would ever really trust this guy?

I say maybe not BUT BRING IT ON ANYWAY! This could be why I read romance....*smiling as I wipe the steam off my book and turn the page*

Oh man, I *hated* Declan. He is a terrible hero! He is on the very, very end of the flawed scale with no likable characteristics. I was so disappointed in that book.

Now Malkom, his story was great, flaws and all!

Lauren wrote: "Definitely flawed and tortured."

I agree :)

I also love flawed hero's with crazy heroines. One of my favorites is To Challenge A Dragon. The hero is a moody dragon with an attitude problem and the heroine is...crazy. They make a great couple and I find myself laughing every time I read this book.

Imperfect or quirky characters are more fun to read about.

I don't quite know. I like both.

Sometimes I think it's nice to read about perfect things (It doesn't mean I don't know what's still realistic IRL - and what's not likely to happen). From time to time I like to read to escape from reality (I looove my life as it is, don't get me wrong!). I don't mind reading about a perfect guy of my dream ones in a while. If I wanted to stay close to reality all the time, I probably wouldn't read anyway (especially not since I mostly read fantasy). ;)