ROBUST discussion

Sig line found on Nookboards:
"Have characters, must write." -- Carolyn J. Rose

Cute.

Now that I've had a few minutes to think about it, I'm going to guess there's a good chunk of the population that's too young to know what inspired that tag line.

Including me. Do tell.

Old TV show in the US. Have gun, will travel.

Clever tagline. Until a novelist has characters, he has nothing much. Voices in the head don't say, "Cue SFX," or "Roll idyllic backdrop," they say, "Shut up you twittermouth bitch, or I swear I'll shoot you."

Wow. Your voices are way meaner than my voices.

Yes, I think I like Patricia's voices better than yours Andre!

What? [CUPS EAR WITH HAND] What? Sorry! CAN'T HEAR YOU!

You're all crazy! I like it!

I'm the only sane one here. [PULLS UP ZIP ON CARDIGAN WITH NAPOLEON COLLAR.]

Don't look now, but your other zipper's open.

Sjm wrote: "You're all crazy! I like it!"

Takes one crazy to know another...

And once again I am rolling on the floor laughing.
Crazy is catching!

Who do you think you are, Uri Geller? You can't *stare* my zip open. You gotta say some abacadabra as well.

I'm gonna need a lot more rum for this conversation. Can I fix anyone else a drink while I'm up?

No, thanks. I'm driving everyone home.

Andre Jute wrote: "Who do you think you are, Uri Geller? You can't *stare* my zip open. You gotta say some abacadabra as well."

Uri Geller would bend the zip out of all proportion thereby possibly destroying certain body parts. Ouch.

I'll take a drink now even though it's not quite 2pm in the afternoon. Southern Comfort with ginger ale maybe?

What's the title of this post? "Have characters, must write?" Well, here we HAVE characters all right! May I write you all into a novel?

Katie you have my permission! :D

Leave Patricia(tm) Sierra(tm) out of it.

[HOLDS OUT HAND, PALM UP]

Characters are our stock in trade. People talk about plots, but what we create and own, what makes our stories tick, is characters. They know that in Hollywood, which is why they are so keen to own your characters, though they hide the rights grab in the merchandising rights block copy.

So, how much are you offering?

Andre Jute wrote: "[HOLDS OUT HAND, PALM UP]

Characters are our stock in trade. People talk about plots, but what we create and own, what makes our stories tick, is characters. They know that in Hollywood, which is ..."

Er my wallet isn't quite as fat as a Hollywood director's. Might have to rethink that idea.

That owning the character thing is why Sue Grafton won't sell Kinsey Milhone to the movies.

Patricia Sierra wrote: "Leave Patricia(tm) Sierra(tm) out of it."

Katie wrote: "What's the title of this post? "Have characters, must write?" Well, here we HAVE characters all right! May I write you all into a novel?"

You may write me in, but only on the deal that I get to kill a fly, a pig and a serial killer, in that order please.

Daniel wrote: "Katie wrote: "What's the title of this post? "Have characters, must write?" Well, here we HAVE characters all right! May I write you all into a novel?"

You may write me in, but only on the deal ..."

In that order? You're leaving me no room for creativity at all?

Well, I could possibly live with it being 'not' in that order, but I'll have to drink a half bottle of Irish Mist to get to that point. Give me a half hour, then you'll be golden. ^_^

Daniel wrote: "Well, I could possibly live with it being 'not' in that order, but I'll have to drink a half bottle of Irish Mist to get to that point. Give me a half hour, then you'll be golden. ^_^"

Thanks. Given half a bottle of Irish Mist, I could be VERY creative.

But not altogether sensible.

Well i Daniel gets to make demands about his character then I want to too! I'll be the serial killer. I like serial killers!

Claudine wrote: "Well i Daniel gets to make demands about his character then I want to too! I'll be the serial killer. I like serial killers!"

STOP! STOP! STOP! Daniel gets to KILL this serial killer, together with the pig and a fly. Are you quite sure you want to be the serial killer, given this predestined end?

And who would like to play the pig?

When Krupskaya, Lenin's wife, resisted Stalin's attempts to deify her husband, starting on the day of his death, Stalin raged, "If Krupskaya continues to be difficult, I shall have to appoint someone else to be Lenin's widow."

Stalin was not renowned for his sense of humour, so he probably wasn't joking.

When your last post came in, Katie, I was just sitting here thinking that I'll appoint someone else to be the pig...

Andre wrote: "When your last post came in, Katie, I was just sitting here thinking that I'll appoint someone else to be the pig... "

Any suggestions? Or do you value your life too highly?

I laugh so hard I got tears going... and only on a little less than half a bottle of mist...

And who says offing the SK is the end? Could very well be the beginning. ^_^

I got to go to bed now, I laughed myself exhausted!

Oh yes, I'll play the killer until the sweet bitter bloody end. Might take the bacon out with me though.

Pig fat burns with a special intensity. Maybe a big bacon isn't quite the coolest traveling companion to the Hot Place.

Ah but think of the taste of the bacon....

Burnt crackling? Ah, takes me back to my childhood!

One of the things I love about my messed up metabolism... no hangovers.

The taste of bacon is my weakness. Cooked to crispy perfection, I can make it so it's not burned, but has a potato chip crunch. If I am left unsupervised, I can 'accidently' eat half the pound I am cooking up for the entire family for breakfast.

The real life backstory to my fly, pig and serial killer issue is how I lost my first ever girlfriend. I was 12, she was 12, it was a sweet puppy love thing. Until she paid me a visit on the old ranchette. It was also butcher day, where a pig that was marked for the freezer was to become the next set of chops, bacon, etc.

I thought it would be cool, in a boyish manner (stupid move manner more like it) to show her my responsible working side.

Out by the barn, she protested the slaughter of the pig. Flies were abundant by the swill. She says, "Danny, I know you can't hurt a fly! Please don't hurt any pigs!" I grinned and swatted a fly. She flinched. I told her, "I didn't hurt the fly. It felt no pain."

She couldn't watch as I slit the pig's throat and hoisted it up to let the blood drain out. I wore my leather apron, but it still got sloshed all the same. I walked out of the barn to tell her it was 'over' and she could come in and watch it get cleaned and carved. Silly me, thinking she would go for something that interesting.

She hollers, "You look like a serial killer!"

I respectfully informed her, "I am not a serial killer. I would kill a serial killer if I ever met one. That's my promise to you. The next serial killer I meet gets the same fate of the pig. Staying for dinner to see how the chops taste this fresh?"

I was single from that point on until I was 17, thanks to the women's underground network of communication via friends in school. While I've never met a serial killer yet to keep that promise, I learned mighty quick you don't ask a girl if she is staying for dinner while covered in blood, wearing a leather apron and holding a razor sharp butcher's knife.

Ah, those were the days. So maybe one day in a story somewhere, I can keep that promise. Maybe. :)

Speaking of bacon, a restaurant near me serves a sundae you might want to order (scroll down a little bit to the big photo):

http://www.toledofreepress.com/2011/0...

Patricia Sierra wrote: "Speaking of bacon, a restaurant near me serves a sundae you might want to order"

The bourbon and Guiness alone might entice some folks...

The place has some really good food but I can't bring myself to try that sundae.

... and speaking of bacon and blood, these could come in handy: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001... (click on color "Bacon")

Did you look at all the other bacon products listed under the main item? I really want those bacon-flavored toothpicks.

Well, now I have! This has me thinking that if I ever want to 'quit' bacon, I'll surround myself with it until I can take no more. In addition to the bacon-flavoured toothpicks...
bacon-flavoured mints
bacon-scented car air freshener
bacon-flavoured lip balm
bacon scented soap
bacon-flavoured dental floss

I'm sure if I kept looking I'd find bacon-scented earrings, eau de bacon and bacon-flavoured mouthwash too. I'm starting to feel a little ill.

We sure do love our pigs. First it's everything piggy which could be imagined by man, from slippers to stuffies to dinner china and exquisite hand-blown ornaments. Now we need them cooked up and put into ice cream with booze and chocolate? Oy vey!

I wrote a piece with this very theme in a recent blog.

Sharon, I have a relative who collected pigs (an ex-cop, you see) and he had to call a halt to all the critters being sent his way. After all, he has a small house.

A house I often pass has a really big ol' pink pig in the front yard (it's not as awful as it sounds). I think it's made of concrete. Once in the middle of the night I stopped there and placed a little pink piggy bank under the big pig. Thought it'd be fun for the homeowners to come out in the morning and discover that their pig gave birth overnight.

Hmmmm bacon. I love bacon. I'll eat it with almost anything. I don't think I'd go so far as to try it out with ice cream though.

"WARNING:
CHOKING HAZARD -- Small parts. Not for children under 3 yrs."

From the page of sickening "cute" that Sue refers us to.