Creative Reviews discussion

Hey everyone!! We have our latest giveaway starting......NOW!! This time we have got a larger haul than usual. Up for grabs this time are 3 paper copies (to US residents only) and 3 e-copies of the book Mindbenders by Ted Krever

In order for you to get yourself eligible for one of these books, you MUST tell us one of your most horrible date stories!! We want to hear it all!! Hold nothing back, shock us all with the terrible-ness you had to endure. WE LIVE FOR THIS STUFF!! Contest ends in 2 weeks - Aug 15 will be the last day for submission! Now get to sharing!! :)

Oh, that's an awesome book - good luck everyone!! I already have it and trust me, YOU want it!

I know I have heard people talking about the story they want to put up here for it...Get to sharing, people!! :)

I have some stories but they all involve my husband. Yeah, I married my worst date! HA hA HA. they must remain a secret....

Now that is no fun, girl!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha

hahaha that's great!

I seriously cannot think of anything to share! I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not...hahaha...

I could tell you about the most random - still not allowed to go off and read stuff till the editing's done (and now the rewriting) so it would be a no-entry, but if you're game to open the criteria a bit I'll give you a starter for ten?
JAC

Okay, I'm not eligible for the offer since I wrote the book but still, it's a pretty irresistible request.
I was dating this woman on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. My work schedule meant I was always getting to see her around 8pm and she insisted each time I saw her that she had to be home by 10. This seemed unusual to me - she had no kids and said she was single, so it seemed a bit early for New York nightlife (I'm not THAT old).
Finally, on the third date, we got into one of those conversations where you just lose track of time and...all at once, in midsentence, she just slumped over onto the table. At first, I was alarmed--I thought she'd had a stroke or something. Then I heard her snoring (quietly but distinctly).
Once I woke her, she admitted she had narcolepsy and it always hit her around 10pm (she was right to the minute that night).
I helped her, half-supporting her, back to her apartment building. You should have seen the dirty look I got from the doorman...

oh dear....!

Come on, people, someone must have one to rival that!!
JAC

Ted wrote: "Okay, I'm not eligible for the offer since I wrote the book but still, it's a pretty irresistible request.
I was dating this woman on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. My work schedule meant I was..."

HA!! This is great!!

OK, maybe we just need some more people to get the ball rolling! There isn't much time left in this contest, and I KNOW we have some people in here with some great stories...I am going to share one of mine.

This also happened to be the very first 'official' date my mom ever let me go on. I was 16-years-old. I don't know if many of you know about Applebees, but it is a nice little restaurant that, especially for a 16-year-old budget, was reasonable for a first date.

The entire night was pretty much a train wreck from the get go - my date, Jon, was late. (I had my own car, so I was driving) He must have been primping like a Prima Donna because I happy little butt sat there for an extra 20 min while he polished his look up. So Mr. Date man gets in the car, and although we go to school with each other every day and hang out in choir, he is nervous...at least I assume so, because he is gassy. (I would have gladly waited outside for an extra 10 min if he would have just taken a bean-o or something!)

We get to the restaurant, and I'm not sure if his gas problem lightens up, or there is just more air to disperse the smell. At this point I don't care, and I'm not really that hungry now. To be perfectly honest, I'm a bit grossed out. Yes, that sounds unfair of me, but to a 16-year-old girl, nothing is more disgusting than the male fart. But, because I want to make a good impression on one of the popular guys in my high school group, I smile at him as we place our orders and giggle in the appropriate places in his stories.

After a bit, I relax and really start getting into "Amy mode", you guys here know me well enough to know that I like to joke around, laugh, and generally have a good time. I wish I hadn't here. I don't remember exactly what I had said, but Mr. Stinky Pants thought it was HILARIOUS. So much, in fact, that the sandwich he was just consuming - complete with ranch dressing - comes flying our of his mouth, dressing dripping from his bottom lip. OH MY GOSH - SERIOUSLY???

Now, I'm in shock. I am staring at him like he just grew a new head, then frantically looking around for waiters to magically produce wet wipes, a towel, or a new date to clean this mess up. The guffaw produced not only a great trajectory of said sandwich, but it also drew the looks of many of the restaurant's patrons sitting near by. I want to get this date over with, and quickly. My cheeks are red, and I'm seriously wondering if I pushed my mom too hard to allow me to date at 16. Maybe I should wait until the males of the species caught up? Ah, but the night is still young, and there is more time before our movie. Jon decides to entertain me by showing me a few nifty little tricks he can do with a tooth pick. Of course, we need to use the one that just picked his leftover sandwich from his teeth (seriously, I think all men have to common sense, or social grace at this time). The toothpick bounces off the table and right at...me. I'm not about to let this grimy missile hit me, so I duck. The lady behind me never saw it coming, nor apparently, did she feel it. She sat there with this gunky covered toothpick stuck in the back of her head, and I had not the courage to tell her about the bio-hazard mass now stuck to the back of her curly, 80's style, overly hair sprayed 'do'. (by the way, this date did not happen in the 80's - I just wanted to point that out! LOL)

Jon thought it was hilarious and laughed hard enough to make the waiters even stop what they are doing. I bury my head in my hands, thinking maybe I can just poof myself out if I concentrate hard enough. My transporting skills have not yet developed to such a level, and Captain Kirk was not listening to my, "Beam me up, Scotty," requests. So I did what any normal 16-year-old girl would do. I. Ran. I left $25 bucks on the table and told Jon I would be out in the car.

Dating is hard, and my first successfully completed date, although not especially a glowing, romantic night, taught me a lesson. 1 - men can be disgusting. 2 - making a man spit their precious food out at a joke told by a girl is actually quite a compliment. 3 - I learned that men would develop social graces at a later date and to keep most dates in semi-dark places until they reach the age of about 30 or so. :)

Thats quite a colorful story Amy!! LOL. I can't beleive you made it through dinner!! Ha haha haha.

J.A. wrote: "I could tell you about the most random - still not allowed to go off and read stuff till the editing's done (and now the rewriting) so it would be a no-entry, but if you're game to open the criteri..."

You know we are always open to your stories!! :)

I did make a date blow sausage out of her nose once at a fair. Sometimes, Amy, we just need to dial it back a notch for the good of everyone concerned.

For the record, most of us guys know that passing gas on a date is bad.

My story is going to be along similar lines.

Splitter

C.S. Splitter wrote: "I did make a date blow sausage out of her nose once at a fair. Sometimes, Amy, we just need to dial it back a notch for the good of everyone concerned.

For the record, most of us guys know that p..."

OUCH!! Enuff said...

I hear the hint in your voice Amy....
LOL
My date stories are bad and worse bc I married the guy that I had these experiences with. LOL. No, I am not lying.
Let's see our first "date" was a dinner with another guy and girl. (One friend of his and one friend of mine) See, I was at the beach with my family (my grandmother rented a beach house in NC and I brought along a friend) He invited us out to dinner and to hang out, see the island....
Well, he didn't come pick us up and we got lost (horribly lost) trying to find the restaraunt. It was some little place on the sound side down all these back roads....when we finally got there I was already pissed. lol.

Then we get there and things are going fine, we are all laughing a talking then out of the blue Shawn's ex (my husband now) sits down at the table and orders dinner from the waitress. She then proceeds to ask Shawn why he didn't want to date her....He like her for other things just fine (You can imagine her wording here...which I cannot say on this polite site)
I almost choked on my food. Actually I was quite amused, I have no idea why. I mean it didnt really make him look bad, but it made her look horrible. My girlfriend and I just looked at each other while we were eating....
and this girl she had very short, very blond hair that stuck up all over her head. (My friend and I refer to her still to this day as Spikey)
So after that pleasant dinner Shawn's friend (who was the best man in our wedding) tried to tell me that this girl was clearly crazed and that Shawn was just too nice to tell her get lost so she continued to stalk him. (They were not dating at this point)

So I got rid of her. Permanetly. Yup. I did.
Hey a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.
He never saw her again.
We had a pleseant night after that. I drove a Jeep Wrangler and we cruised the beach blasting Aerosmith with the top down. :)

So if that wasn't bad enough...
Our second date....
He took me to Outback Steakhouse for dinner and ordered a Prime rib steak. Rare. EWWWWW.
But i just shrugged it off bc I wasn't eating it. (Note to all: I don't eat much meat and hardly ever red meat)
I ordered a salad. When our food came I felt nausceous and I kept smelling my chicken (I tried to be inconspicous) and shawn was like is there something wrong with your food. I said "They didn't cook my chicken and its grossing me out"
Turns out it was his steak I was smelling because it was pracitically bleeding on his plate.

Then there was the third date. He ordered ribs and instead of using his napkin he dipped his fingers (covered in sauce) in his glass of water....
YUP he really did. It was gross.

And we lived happily ever after.....

You and Shawn are so stinking cute together!!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Everyone says that....

The dipping fingers in the water glass...totally logical.

Just sayin'

Splitter

It is not!!!! Ewww. It is totally gross and we still laugh about it today. By the way after we had been dating a bit I completey put an end to that!! Along with those annoying wind pants he ALWAYS wore!!!

Wind pants are again logical. You are ready for anything.

Yeah, the swish, swish when you walk can get annoying. I'll give you that :).

Hey, if it weren't for women, men would live like bears. Caves, raw meat, the whole deal

Splitter

ugh, wind pants might be practical but they are horrible. Do you know he had like four or five pair!? And he had wind shorts....
Oh yes, I did just say that.
And he had this one t-shirt he wore all the time and I asked him about it once (Ugh-i got sick of seeing it) and he told me he had more than one and that he always wore a clean one. GAH!!!
And yes- it is the sound that drives me insane!
I guess i should be glad he didn't wear the matching jacket. LOL

Ok, so mine isn't gross.
It isn't embarrassing and probably won't win but its all I can think of and since you all bare your souls, I'll bare mine.
My senior prom date waited until after I bought my dress, the tickets, the photo pack etc, to tell me that he didn't "feel" like going to prom.
It was in 2 days.
Needless to say I was crushed, sure we weren't an official couple but we went on a few dates and I liked him.
I know, my first clue should have been that I paid for the tickets and photos but I made better money than him.
I also got in a car wreck the day I picked up that damn 300 dress, I should've known the date was doomed.
ANYWAYS, I was at my guy friend's house when he TEXTED me this.
I was crying, (yes, I cried, I was 18 and it was Sr Prom, the world might as well have ended) my guy friend consoled me and told me he would take me.
I was shocked because he hated dances, he didn't go to his own prom 2 weeks before and it was in a few days.
He was also 6'4 so I didn't know how he would get a tux last minute but he did.
The morning of.
He borrowed a mutual friends brand new tricked out Trans Am, shows up at my house looking perfect.
I admit at one time I had a crush on him but we grew to be friends.
ANYWAYS, turns out he doesn't know how to drive a stick.
Bumpy ride to say the least, he doesn't have money for dinner so 7-11 here we come for a Mountain Dew.
We show up at Prom and damn it if my previous date didn't change his mind and show up with some skank he met cruising the strip the weekend before.
I was livid but my friends pleaded with me not to cause a scene so I left it alone.
As the dance goes on, I keep running into the jerk who is practically having sex with this chick, when my own date decides to get handsy on me.
I politely tell him that it is not necessary to try to make the other guy jealous because he doesn't care.
He decides this is the best moment to tell me that he's always had a crush on me and figured that this was the best time to make it known.
Nice, too bad him kissing me was like kissing my brother (not that I have but you get the idea).
I told him I just didn't feel that way.
Needless to say he was pissed, dropped me off at a party where I preceded to get tipsy (never stupid drunk) and never spoke to me again.
Nice right?
So that was my prom experience.
I have had other horrible dates but that one always sticks out.
For a teenage chick, it's crushing.

LOL, that's what I mean by us living like bears, Cambria.

I really can't enter this contest because of Amy's hint lol.

If I had to rank my bad dates it would be:

1) The gal that sang to me on our first date in her living room, complete with microphone. The song was "I Hope You Dance" and she was really, really bad. She became a stalker.

2) I commented on her very interesting mismatched eye colors. Turns out, one was glass. Everything I said after that was bad...."Keep and eye out for the waiter." The more I tried to not say the wrong thing, the worse it got.

3) Dead bat in the bed. (We are now married)

4) She just got out of prison.

5) She had her own dungeon, including a St. Andrews cross, set up in her bedroom.

6) The sister that tagged along to instruct her sister. That one actually turned out pretty well but not in that way. Too strange.

7) First date since her husband died. I called her home number to tell her I was running ten minutes late and his voice was still on the answering machine. It got worse.

8) Jimmy Buffett concert. After getting drunk, she disappeared with my car keys. I had her shoes. Eventually I found her and drove her home. Then she disappeared and no one knew where she was...turns out she went to alcohol rehab.

9) She told me she was separated. She wasn't.

10) I broke up with a woman after a couple months. She took a leave of absence from her work, moved south, and went into some Duke University weight loss program. She was MAYBE 15 pounds over her ideal weight (and she was 5'10") but she was convinced that's why I broke up with her. It wasn't. I tried to be supportive but I made it clear that I broke up with her because she was crazy, not for the extra weight (which was nothing!). For months, she left nightly voicemails about her progress. When she hit her goal weight, she showed up on my doorstep for some glorious reunion and I had to call the police. I have several stories about her lol.

11) Lima Bean Girl. I really can't even describe that one.

Splitter

Splitter, I'm not sure if you just had the worst luck EVER, or you were picking those all up at the carnival. While carnies can be great fun for short times, they make for bad partners (with the exception of your current wife....LOL)

LOL, Amy, it was worse than carnies...it was the internet!

Really, when I got divorced, I dated a lot. The good dates far outnumbered the bad ones but...the bad ones are always the ones that haunt us.

Splitter

C.S. Splitter wrote: "LOL, Amy, it was worse than carnies...it was the internet!

Really, when I got divorced, I dated a lot. The good dates far outnumbered the bad ones but...the bad ones are always the ones that haun..."

note to self, when ready to date again, NO INTERNET

OH! I thought of something... Hahaha...

This is going to make me sound SO horrible...lol...

I went out on ONE "blind" internet date. The guy kept mentioning that he was "short"...etc. Well, I'm thinking 5-foot-something anyway. I show up (at Arby's HAHAHA!!) and he has this huge Chevy extended cab pickup...lifted way off the ground.

He is a little person--seriously... I almost cried when he jumped down out of that big ol' truck!

Being the nice person I am, however, I had dinner with him and even followed him home and watched a movie. I cannot remember what the movie was. I was counting the seconds until I could leave. Thankfully my mom called to check on me (the whole internet date thing freaked her out), and I was able to make up an excuse to cut the evening short!

I didn't really talk to him after that, and he was quite annoyed about it.

I swear I don't have anything against little people...but for someone that is 5'9", well...it was just an extremely uncomfortable situation :-)...


I saw a vampire movie with a guy once and afterward he asked if he could bite me. No joke...


I once had a guy vomit Jose Cuervo on me. To this day, the smell of tequila turns my stomach...


My [now husband] once stood me up to go to a club with his friend. The next day I ran into some of MY friends who gushed about this guy they danced with all night. We finally figured out it was MY boyfriend. That didn't end well for him...but I obviously forgave him...

UPDATE on the giveaway!!!

If anyone is still interested in getting their name into the drawing, list your name in here, and you will be entered in for a chance to win one of these AMAZING books! If you enter in a horrible date story, then you will have two entries into the giveaway!

So just at least put you name in!! We have lots of these great books to give away!!! :)

Hey, I listed 11 bad dates...how many entries do I get? :)

Splitter

I will have to think about that one, Splitter!! :)

Reading Jenn's story about Prom reminded me of my own, a memory I had previously repressed.

I was kinda sorta dating a girl in high school. We went to a few fairs together, I wrote horrible songs in her honor and we hung out a lot after school in her car (mostly to talk about her feelings of abandonment, sadness and general teenage angst).

I asked her to the Prom and she said yes. And then, a few weeks before the event, she told me she was more interested in a football player who had no idea she existed.

So, I licked my wounds and retreated back into my world of non-dating (I was more comfortable there anyway, and it gave me a chance to write even worse songs lamenting my loss).

Imagine my surprise when, the day of the Prom, she called and asked if I was still interested in going. Like a fool, I said yes (good thing I had my tux from Orchestra on hand) and put aside my sadness and reclaimed hope.

Of course, she only asked me to go because the guy she was interested in was going to be there and she didn't want to show up by herself. So she spent the night watching this other guy, leaving me alone to schmooze amongst my peers (which, let's face it, if I'd been any good at that, I wouldn't have found myself in that situation in the first place).

It was a cold night and a long walk home (did I mention she was the one with the car?) Years later, when I showed my wife her picture and told her the story, she said, "She's not even cute." And she was right.

S.L.- your wife is a wise woman!!

S.L. wrote: "Reading Jenn's story about Prom reminded me of my own, a memory I had previously repressed.

I was kinda sorta dating a girl in high school. We went to a few fairs together, I wrote horrible songs..."

I agree, the new wife sounds very smart! :)

I had two prom dates and still didn't get lucky.

I should "L" tattooed on my forehead...

Splitter

Sorry to bring up all the bad memories about Prom, guys.
But I am so glad to know I am not alone in my misery!
I have another one that happened after prom, met this guy through a friend who was to put it mildly, GORGEOUS!
He was a few years older than myself but SUPPOSEDLY (you know where this is going) really dug me.
I should say, not only was he "hawt", he was sincerely sweet and thoughtful.
I thought to myself, "Finally!!!"
Well, on our date that I spent hours primping for, he took me to the nicest restaurant in Salt Lake.
I had never felt so out of place.
I think I even did the chick thing and ordered a salad.
But he began to make me feel really comfortable, we talked about our families, friends, music etc.
We liked ALL the same things and it was not him just saying that, he usually told me what he liked first.
After the resturant, he asked me if I would like to go for a drive to his favorite spot in the mountains.
Well, duh! Hell yeah, I am totally digging this guy.
His 6 ft athletic frame, sandy blonde hair, moss green eyes and his amazingly sweet personality have totally got me hooked.
Everything was going perfect.
So as we drive he begins to tell me about his first true love that broke his heart.
Ok, I'm thinking, that's cool, I 've had my heart broken we can swap stories.
He then begins to tell me about all this poetry he has written and would like me to look at it sometime.
Of course I am thinking,"YAY!" because "sometime" means there will be a second time, right?
Anyway, we get to this INCREDIBLE spot in the moutains where you are just surrounded by moutain tops dusted with snow that glitters like diamonds in the moonlight.
There is a soft breeze and all you can hear is the soft breeze and a stream far below us.
It is like we are in our own world.
By far the best date I have ever been on......until he tells me he used to bring his ex here all the time.
Way to spoil the moment.
But, I still hold out hope for this guy.
He then takes me to his house which explains the nice resturant, because it's REALLY decked out.
I'm a little uncomfortable because one of his chairs is probably worth more than my car.
Then again, I was still in high school.
Honestly though, still couldn't afford it now.
He then hands me this binder full of his poems and asks me to read them sometime and let me know what I think.
Again I my dumb@ still gets butterflies thinking there will be a next time.
I guess he notices I am uncomfortable and addresses it by telling me not to worry because he NEVER makes a move on the first date.
The most he would ever do is kiss a girl and that is only if he is interested in her, the kiss would tell him if he wanted to see her again.
Butterflies! Can't wait to kiss this Abercrombie and Fitch model.
We kicked it at his house for awhile, it started to get late and he drove me back home.
As he walked me to the door, my heart raced, I just KNEW he was going to kiss me.
But I knew it had to be a good one if we were to go out again.
We stop and my door and I steady myself as he moves in and........GIVES ME A HUG.
He told me how much fun he had, what a great girl I was and looked forward to hearing what I thought about his poetry.
I knew right then and there by his own admission, I was just given the "kiss off" so to speak.
Still, being a hopelessly romantic teenager, I go into my room, put on some love jams and read his work.
Honestly, it really was amazing.
It was heartfelt, gut wrenching and just plain beautiful!
And every last one was about his ex.
What did I do?
Cry.
i REALLY liked this guy, he was like a prince.....just not my prince.
anyhow, I gave him his poems back with a heavy heart told him how great his work was.
He thanked me, gave me a hug and wished me well.

We never spoke again.
I never did quit going to that spot in the mountains and to this day can tell you where it is.
On another note, I did go out on a date once with a guy that had no car so I had to go get him, (date went horrible) and when I dropped him off at his house, he told me he left something in glove box for me to look at later and think of him.
What was it?
Pictures of his......welll....you know!
Never talked to that freakshow again either.

You dated Congressman Anthony Weiner?

:)

Splitter

C.S. Splitter wrote: "You dated Congressman Anthony Weiner?

:)

Splitter"
LMAO, only you Splitter!

Come on guys, I know there are more of you out there who are wanting this book, it looks AMAZING!! If you don't want to share your most terrifying date, you can always just put your name down on the list to get your name in the ring for this book! Come on, all the cool kids are doing it!! :)

Amy wrote: "Come on guys, I know there are more of you out there who are wanting this book, it looks AMAZING!! If you don't want to share your most terrifying date, you can always just put your name down on t..."

I don't feel so bad now, the giveaways on my blog have the same response. Only cambria entered. Probably out of pity.;$

I thought I entered!!!

Splitter

It makes me wish I'd dated more so I'd have more horror stories to tell.

Jenn, is there a way to get your blog sent to my email? That is the best way for me to remember to check everyone's. I have too many that I follow to remember to check them all. Now when they send me e-mails with new posts, then I always go look! :)

Yes, Splitter, you are entered...and with your luck, will prolly win again! :)

lol, It's like my one and only supernatural power :)

Splitter

C.S. Splitter wrote: "lol, It's like my one and only supernatural power :)

Splitter"

So THAT is why I never win anything - YOU got MY share of luck! *tsk* OK, you need to split all future monetary winnings 50/50 ... :-D

Sadly, the good luck ends at GoodReads. No lottery winnings :(

Splitter

C.S. Splitter wrote: "Sadly, the good luck ends at GoodReads. No lottery winnings :(

Splitter"

Hrm ... maybe I should demand half your won books then ... X-D Nah, I have plenty of my own - I'll have to live forever to read them all anyway ... anyone know a handy vampire that can usher me into life eternal?