College Students! discussion

Jess, I'm so sorry! Hang in there, I'll be thinking of you and your great-aunt.

That's so difficult to deal with Jess. A word of hope: I do speech therapy with stroke patients and a lot of them make huge gains over time. You're right to say things will be different, but don't lose hope!

You'll be in my thoughts, Jess!!

My grandpa has been in the hospital for about a month... In the first hospital he was in, they really didn't do a damn thing to help him... and they let him check out and put him in a nursing home... A nurse there found him and got him to go to a different hospital, where they are actually running tests that will help fix him.

His heart rate increased a lot... then slowed to a lower amount... So last night, the family went to the hospital... and it was just so hard. He's usually so vibrant, so lively, so loud... and he could barely speak... it hurts him to move... He has horrible tremors... He's fighting death. I know he is. I'm afraid he'll give up though. He apparently slept well last night and managed to sleep today (he even snored, which I guess is a good thing). I like hearing that he's getting better... but I'm still so scared. He's hallucinating a lot... thinks he's been eating candy... thinks there's garbage on his bed... think he has a glass of tea... When nothing is there. And there is just something so childish in the way he speaks... It breaks my heart.

He's my stepmom's dad. He was the first one on her side of the family who really accepted my brother and I. He talks to me about books and history... He's glad I read, because he likes having someone in the family who reads like he does. I never met my grandpa on my dad's side (He died before my dad and mom married). And my grandpa on my mom's side never opened up to us... he didn't like kids... he didn't talk to any of us really. He died a couple years ago. So this grandpa is my last one... and he's the one I've gotten closest to. I'm also afraid of what would happen if he did die... what would happen to my grandma? She's already so lost with him in the hospital...

I'm sorry for writing so much... I'm just very scared and worried. I'm afraid to really go to anyone about it... because I'm not sure they'd understand or care...

<3

Thank you, everyone *hugs*

Caitlin, good luck. I'm thinking about you! I know, this whole process is so tough. :(

toay my mom called and told me she has a cancerous tumor in her leg BUT it has not and will not spread. I didn't know this kind of thing existed and it freaked me out when I heard about it, but my mom kept assuring me that it will be fine and in fact they may wait until it grows larger to remove it. I just needed to get it off my chest.

Oh geez! I didn't know they existed either... my dad had a benign tumor in his neck that he had removed this summer and that was kind of weird. It's lucky that your mom can get this taken care of, and I wish her the best of luck with whatever surgery and recovery she will have to go through.

Oh my. I didn't know that sorta thing could exist either. Really glad that she is ok though! How did she find it? Did she feel like a weird lump in her leg or something?

She had to have an MRI done b/c she tore her ACL, MCL, and meniscus (arg I have no idea how to spell it but I know I spelled it wrong) like a year ago... umm honestly I kinda zoned out b/c my mind was going in a million directions. So I don't know why they wouldn't have found out about this back when all that stuff was going on last summer.

Apparently it's not hereditary (which I was very glad to hear). Just one of those weird things. It makes it even scarier though b/c she didn't feel a lump or anything.

That is really strange Lynn, glad she will be alright though.

Jess and Caitlin, my thoughts are with you and your families. And Caitlin I think that anyone who cares about you or your Grandpa will understand or at least care about your worries so don't be afraid to go to them.

My grandma passed away on January 29th. She was the only grandparent I ever knew, as the other three died when my parents were still teenagers. It wasn't until yesterday when I was looking at old pictures and I found one of my grandma and I around 1994 when it finally hit me and I just lost it. I have no idea why it took me so long to process everything but it did and it was bad. It's going to be a tough few days coming up...and since it's almost one in the morning there's no one else I can tell this to right now. :/

Kelly I'm so sorry! :( We are here to talk if you need us. I've lost two of my grandparents in my lifetime, it gets easier as time goes by. Just hang in there.

Kelly--I'm sorry! That's how it goes I think. I was telling my boyfriend this the other day (he just lost his father). It gets easier but it still hits you at the most random times. I remember a month after my mom passed away I was cleaning my room and found some things of my moms and I just lost it. The weirdest was when I worked at Forever 21 last year and I see a man helping his wife who was in a wheelchair trying to pick out a bra. It reminded me of my mom because she was so frail because of the cancer and whatnot that she had to be in one and she wasn't always with it towards the end because it was brain cancer. This woman reminded me so much of my mom and so I went over to help the guy. After I helped them and walked away I tried so hard not to cry but I just started bawling. Of course it was during my first month of work..so they probably thought I was crazy lol

It's ok to lose it like that..it means you needed to cry. I really think that. I think sometimes I needed to let myself cry about it but wouldn't until something like that happened. You aren't alone..know that you can always talk to us!

Thanks guys. I'm trying to not let my funk affect my grades...but it did. Now I'm even more stressed :\

How do you guys recover from failing a class? Well, if any of you have failed a class. I feel like I'm the only one who has. I'm just so frustrated with myself because I'm not going to pass my math class. Math has always been my worst subject and I just can't seem to get any better at it. I'm used to getting A's, or B+'s in my tougher classes. So a failing grade is killing me. And it's embarrassing too. It doesn't help that I always get lectures from people if I say I'm struggling with math. Every time I think about my math class I get really stressed out, I don’t even want to take the final but I have to otherwise I’ll get a UW, (Unofficial Withdrawal) and that looks worse on transcripts than a failing grade.

Kimberly, you really need to quit thinking of it as a math class (a four letter word). :)

I think the best way to get a better grade would to be ask around to see what other teachers teach it and if they are better or worse. Does your school offer tutoring? Someone else may have a different way of explaining things or instructing different than the teachers way.

Try not to stress. If I were closer I would gladly tutor you. :)

Kimberly, you are not the only one! I have failed a class or two before :P If I don't like a teacher, I have a REALLY hard time staying focused with classes. Especially physics & math classes, and I like physics and math. I would suggest what Tami did and see if someone else teaches it!

Can I ask what kind of math class it is?

I have the same problem with math. I reverse numbers a lot and the more stressed I am the more I do it and math stresses me so it is a never ending cycle. I would suggest taking advantage of every sort of help you can next time around. When I finally passed my stats class I had made friends with many people in class so I always had someone to go to for help, and I had someone check over my answers before turning in assignments. It is not the end of the world to fail a class, people do it all the time.

Thanks everyone. :) It's Math 1050, or college algebra. I didn't really care for the teacher and on top of that it was a night class, I had such a hard time paying attention. And the assignments don't count towards our grade, it's based completely on our test scores. I'm going to check around and see what professors require homework as part of the grade, I think that would help a lot. My university does offer tutoring, but their hours are mostly when I work.

Kimberly - I know what you mean about how embarrasing it is failing a class (and frustrating!). I failed a class last term and it took me a week before I could tell my mom!

Unfortunately for me there is only one professor who teaches the class so when I retake it I'll be stuck with her again. But I hope you can find a different professor!

Ooh Kimberly, I know how you feel, I have the same problem, only its with my economic class. But don't worry, you are DEFINITELY not the only one :)

My school has a grade forgiveness policy, where you can retake a class and it will wipe out your previous grade. Do you know if your school has something like that?

Jen, Kelly, thank you! You made me feel better. :)

Kelly, my school does have a similar policy but the failing grade still stays on my transcripts. But if they look at what grade I got when I pass the class, the highest grade is what they will see. If that makes sense...

Yeah, my school has kind of the same thing, the grade forgiveness just replaces the grade for your GPA's sake. So do you know how your grade in the class turned out?

Speaking of, I definitely failed my economics class. I really hate the fact that it is a pre req for one of my majors.

Um... ya. I didn't pass the class. BUT I got an A- or higher in all my other classes. :)

One of my professors gives us quizzes every couple of weeks over everything we lectured over since the last one. I missed a lecture day 2 weeks ago. Though I got the notes from a friend, I didn't look over them. I got the test and none of the things mentioned on the multiple choice or matching section looked familiar. But I went ahead and answered them, just in case. I didn't even attempt the essay. I wrote her a little note saying that it'd be a waste of her time to grade it if I did and I apologized. I also answered the extra credit question. I wound up getting a 2 out of 20 on that quiz--I got the extra credit and one of the multiple choices right. Thank goodness she drops our lowest test score! But most people did pretty bad on that quiz, so I didn't feel too terrible about it.

(That story is to, hopefully, make someone out in the world somehow feel better)

Kimberly, those grades are going to look wierd, A, A, A-, F, A :)

Lori, Love when they drop the lowest.

In high school, there was a math class that the teacher after 2 tests finally got someone that got 60% correct. Average on the first test was 22% and the second was 28%. The principal finally stepped in to see why the class wasn't passing. This is the same teacher that basically told us girls were stupid when it came to math. I am suprised they didn't fire him.

haha, Tami I know. At least my GPA will still be decent.

Thanks Lori, your story did make me feel better. :)

Kimberly, I'm so glad you felt better.

So, I feel like I'm losing myself. I always had a group to mold to when I was in high school and now that I'm on college I don't know who I am or how to find myself. I feel lost at sea. What do I do to help myself?

My parents are divorced and I'm not getting along with either one and none of the people who I thought were my friends in high school talk to me...

I feel hopeless. So, at the very least if no one has advice (my problem is very hard to resolve), can someone recommend a good book that helped them during a hard time?

Celeste- I'm sorry! That's tough. I know what that's like, moving to a new school and your friends are far away or they make no effort to keep in contact with you. It was like that for me starting college. In high school I had my own place, I was one of the theatre kids. I always had my friends around me and because I was so involved with theatre/choir/dance that I knew tons of people. Then I get to college and I know no one. I would go through an entire day without seeing someone that I recognized. When you walk around campus and no one says hi or looks twice at you, it can get very depressing. I was really lucky that my cousin was going to school at the same time. She helped me adjust a little. The best thing I can think of is to get involved. Join a club or take a really unique class that will introduce you to new people. Or get a job on campus. It really helps to be as involved with school as possible. It helped me to feel like I had my own place at my school. I joined the choir at my school and I’m involved with the theatre group again. It really does help, I promise! I can’t think of any specific books at the moment. When I’m upset I tend to turn to old favorites, they’re like comfort food. If I think of any, I’ll let you know.

I hope I helped at least a little.

MsGenialBookworm, I make it a point to get to know one of the people sitting next to me in class or, since I show up early to read, one of the other people who shows up for class. Make small talk. Ask a question about the last lecture, even if you have to invent a question; it will get the ball rolling. This has two benefits: you have someone to ask for notes and classes will be a little more bearable.

Honestly, I think I've had different friends each year in college. A couple will carry over from year to year, but mostly I make new friends for the year. When you get into your major, you'll find people that you recognize from previous classes. But I think it's good to not stay around the same people. College is a time of enormous change and upheaval. You have to meet different people to fit into those new phases you go through. One year, I had creative writing friends who drank all the time. I learned soon that that wasn't for me.

It can be especially hard when you're not a total social butterfly. I'm not. I've just made do with what I got handed.

Believe me when I say that it will all work out. College might not be "the best years of your life" (they weren't for me) but you will survive and you will have a better sense of who you are and why (although that might come a little later) when you're done. It's an unfortunate process.

Good luck.

Celeste-
one thing that i have learned so far in college is that in order to survive, you have to become more outgoing. by no means am i an outgoing person, but just saying hi to the person next to you in class can make a huge difference. plus it's always good to exchange numbers or something in case one of you misses a class. a lot of the time, that helps get a friendship going outside of class too.

and i'm with Kimberly about re-reading old favorites... defintitley like a comfort food in times of need :)

hope that helps a litle.

Hmm... what is your job again SBG? Maybe it will get better with time. I hear you about hating a job though.

Isn't most of the patient stuff written down? I know when I job shadowed in a nursing home my mentor knew it all by heart but she also showed me where their dietary concerns were on their charts. After a while though some of the things (like trays) will be habitual so that you can focus on the important parts without being worried about the small things. It will most likely get better. Also if you really don't like it there is nothing stopping you from keeping an ear/eye open for different opportunities, and you will be gaining experience (aka resume points) for later.

My sister worked as a dietary aide in a nursing home. She loved it. She didn't like the long hours, but after she learned the basics, she liked the interaction with the residents. Hopefully you are just a bit overwhelmed and things will settle down for you. Good Luck!

SBG-
just hang in there! it'll get better each day, and don't forget to pray about it... that always helps :D

Celeste-
i just saw a great quote online...
"life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself"
hope that helps :)

I'm leaving as soon as my dad gets home to rush down to my Grandparents home. We just found out that my Grandpa has to have major surgery, and we aren't sure if he is going to make it. I'm so terrified right now that I can't think straight. I know this is a strange request, but if you are the praying sort please please keep him in my prayers. He means so much to my family. Please.

Kimberly, I will pray for you and for your grandfather to pull through.

Travel carefully! All my prayers and good thoughts are headed your way.

I will be praying for you, your family and for his surgery!

I'm not the praying type, but I'll be sending all the good thoughts I can for you and your family.

praying for you and your family, Kimberly!

SBG- My job is completely different, I work on campus in the extension programs office, but i know how it feels to be overwhelmed like that. It was These kinds of classes are in this binder, these you'll have to ask about because they aren't listed anywhere,bla bla bla. IT GETS BETTER! First days are hard but I'll be you'll surprise yourself with what you know by the end of the month!

Kimberly- thinking of your family!

I can't thank you enough for all of your good thoughts and prayers! My Grandpa is doing okay. We had a few scares but he is out of the ICU and all the tubes are gone now. He's back to being his cantankerous old self. :) It was probably one of the most frightening experiences I've had, I've never in my life seen my Grandmother (Granny) cry. He was doing okay after surgery and then we all went to get some dinner, afterwords we had planned to go back to the hospital to say goodnight and then let him sleep. We got off the elevator to see the doctor and a few nurses rushing down the hall pumping oxygen into a patient- it was my Grandpa. I almost didn't recognize him. The nurse had gone into check on him and couldn't get a response of out him. Ended up being that he'd had a strong reaction to the pain medication they had given him. His heart was still beating and he was breathing ok, he was just really drugged. After that we never left him alone, my dad and his siblings and one of my cousins and I took turns staying with him. It was a tiny hospital (a total of about 25 beds) and word about us got around fast apparently, they gave us a nickname "The Watchdogs" because we were always there with him. I think we annoyed the heck out of some of the nurses but we weren't going to leave him alone after that scare.

It's weird seeing him like this, I've never seen him slow down. He's 81 years old but still works and moves around like he was in his 30's. But I'm just so grateful that he is okay!

Kimberly, that is wonderful news! Still sending good thoughts your way!

I'm so happy for you and your family! I will also continue to pray.

I just found out a friend of mine committed suicide. Please pray for her family. I am just in shock right now.

That's awful Jamie! I'll be sending my thoughts to you and her family.

Oh no... I'm so sorry Jamie. I'll be thinking of you and her family & friends.

Oh Jamie, I am so sorry. I'll be praying.