The Next Best Book Club discussion

Alas, we all have them. Books that were lent out with the best of intentions — to expose others to the beauty, emotion, and genius that you found so powerful. This is a post in memory of the books that were never returned.

R.I.P.
The Time Traveler's Wife
The Kite Runner
Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas
A Spy in the House of Love
Dark Fields of the Republic (signed copy)

Please share yours so that we may mourn together!

Cheri, this is such a (sad)cute post!! I love it! How very thoughtful and unqiue :)

Luckily for me, I have been able to get back all my loaned copies, tho I have had to apply much pressure to those who were holding them hostage (loss of limbs, eyes, and even death at times)

But I will mourn along with all of you!

let me see...

men at arms by terry prachet (just my fav disworld novel not important at all. I belive I borowwed it to my cousin at some point but he denies it. its true it isnt on his shelfs most be somewere on the attic storage)

and the first book of marion zimmer bradley mists of avalon (yep in portugal the first book was published separeted in 4 books- it sucks). I dont know who kept I think it was my unt, mother of thecousin above - same story. but I've passed this traume, I«ve bougth un english edition and gave the other 3 away

Thanks, Lori! I was inspired to post about it after reading the thread about The Time Traveler's Wife... I was reminiscing about my brand new, once read copy that is being held hostage in Maryland.

Nineteen Minutes

For me it's Anne Frank: The Biography. But for the life of me, I don't remember lending it out to anyone. I just remember one day, I had the urge to reread it and I could not find it. I tore the whole house apart (even though all of my books are relatively in the same place) and just had to come to terms with the fact that it was gone. Needless to say, I bought another copy.

The Plot Against America by Philip Roth.
I know who has it, but she is rather unstable and I don't want to try to retrieve it from her. I may end up buying another copy of it sometime. However, the one she has is a hardback, and I miss it.

The Tipping Point. I know I lent this out but have no idea who or where it went. I just bought my second copy and I'm keeping close track of it!

Water for Elephants. This isn't such a big deal, except I had promised it to several people and the first I let borrow it has yet to give it back.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas!

The Time Traveler's Wife
The Kite Runner


I AM STILL MOURNING THESE FANTASTIC READS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Interpreter of Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri
Lucky by Alice Sebold

Every single Vonnegut title except Cat's Cradle that I owned were on loan to my boyfriend's best friend when we broke up. Ouch.

I've had to buy three copies of Blindness, two copies of Arundhati Roy's The God of Small Things, and three copies of Love in the Time of Cholera.

Also, I've got an old friend who always borrows books (and I mean a stack at a time) from my library and then insists that she doesn't know what I'm talking about when I ask for them back. I was so incautious that I forgot some of the titles I leant her (had to have been a ton over the years) and so can't ask for them back specifically.

I've adopted the attitude that, as much as I love my library, it's better that someone is reading them than that they're just sitting on my shelf. I can always pick up a copy next time I see it at the thrift store. It still stings, though.

Hmmmm....this is why I don't let anyone borrow my books. Once I lent a book to a family member and never got it back. Since then I've decided againt letting people borrow. If they want to read it they can go borrow it at the library. If I don't care for the book then I give it away without expectations.

I loaned my copy of Heartbreaking Work of a Staggereing Genius to a spacey regular at the coffee shop where I worked. It took 2 1/2 years of hounding him to get it back! but i was persistent because when I went to buy a new copy I could not find one like mine. (with the special features appendixes printed upside down in the back)/ since then I try not to lend out books. made a couple of exceptions for my mom. but she treated them so poorly I won't do it again.

My Life and Other Unfinished Business- Dolly Parton. I'm a Dolly fan. I just bought a new copy online because i lent it out over a year ago and never even talk to the lady I lent it to. It was falling apart and old (I got the book new in '95) so I don't care!

I lent numerous books to my brother in law and while I lost most of them, 3 in particular were my faves.
The Alienist and it's sequel Angel of Darkness(?)
were never returned but I managed to salvage them when I discovered them for sale at a garage sale that he and my sister were having and City of Angels which,sadly was never recovered despite repeated requests.Apparently he passed it on.

He likes to borrow books because he knows I have a huge collection of them but the collection is huge because I DON'T get rid of my books.

Despite this lapse in his character I'm still able to be in the same room with him and be friends. We're family after all.

I never, ever lend books because it is so rare to get them back so if I can bear to part with them I give them away.

I don't lend a book unless I'm emotionally ok with it not being returned.

Every time I lend You Can Heal Your Life I don't get it back. I buy another one and end up loaning it out again. Now, whenever I see it at the thrift store, I buy it.

The Chronicles of Narnia
The Little Prince
Autobiography of an Ex Colored Man
And a butt-load of manga went in one go to a friend who was very responsible, but got kicked out of her house a few weeks after I lent them to her. She never got any of her stuff back so I felt bad trying to get my comics back.

I haven't loaned out anything since I lost my Chronicles, except a few DVD's, especially things I really liked.

American Gods by Neil Gaiman

Lea's Book of Rules for the World by Lea DeLaria (If you haven't read it, you should. One of the funniest books by a stand up comedian I've ever read. She's one of the great Snark Queens.)

Several copies of Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. Seriously. Every time I loan it out, I never get it back. It's gotten to the point where I always have a disposable (paperback) copy available because I'm tired of losing the damn thing but I don't want to deprive others of one of the greatest satirical novels ever written (yes, I feel that strongly).

"Your Best Life Now" by Joel Osteen

This book is near and dear to me, because it changed my life. I finally had to buy another one.

Funny that I came upon this thread today.
I stopped at my library to get Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, and when they looked it up, it said "MISSING", so they are getting it for me from another library.
Why cant people return books to the library!!!!
I think people take advantage at ours, because they do not charge late fees, etc.
So frustrating that some people are like that.

I did have a wonderful hardcover book all about France, that was given to me by a dear friend who lived there...there was a huge long letter to me on the front cover..all in french...it was very special to me....I should have never let anyone borrow it!

My flowers in the attic series
Little Women
It
The Lovely Bones
Cell

How 'bout the ones you got back only to find out your mom dropped it in the bathtub? I cannot count the number books I loaned to my mom in my youth that came back in such a condition. I no longer loan her anything but mass market editions or books I wouldn't care to lose.

My sister borrowed one of my favorite books, "A Fine Balance", and she had it for over a year. I was so worried I would never see it again, that I decided I would never loan that book out again. Period. She brought it back in one piece but had never bothered to read it. I loaned her The Glass Castle recently. She read that one (and loved it) but told me that it got pretty beat up b/c she "reads on the bus". I don't really know what that has to do with it, but okay...

Ohhh... I hate it when this happens!

Pride and Prejudice
Oliver Twist
Wicked
Tales From the Bed

I've replaced all but Oliver Twist, and that one is next on my list for me to buy. I'm much more careful at lending them out than I used to be...

Lol! Last time I lent a book to my mother, her dog ate it. Luckily my mother is kind enough to replace the books that are damaged in her care, so she bought me a new one a couple of months later. I believe it was...Song of Suzanna.

Great thinking Cheri to start this thread ! I lost a couple of Jeffery Archer's and Robin Cook's novels sometime back. But I won't put the blame of losing them entirely on others. I have this very bad habit of forgetting who i lent the book to. That's why now I try to keep them in a small circle of my friends so that I may later find it.

Beach Music by Pat Conroy...on three different occassions.

Cheri, I have lent so many books. I think my mother has them all. They were books like the Secret of Bees. I can probably get them back if I go look for them and if she's read them yet.

I have lent books to others to find them lost to me forever. I have learned to live with it. I want people to enjoy.

Do I mourn these books, definitely!

I think all of my books go straight to my friend JESSICA. She never gives them back, but I keep lending them out! HA!

The Perks of Being a Wallflower
White Oleander

I can't think of any other that I've lent out and didn't get back (off the top of my head anyways...)
I'm much more upset about The Perks of Being a Wallflower, because #1, I loved it, and #2 it's a short book/quick read that I know I would have enjoyed many times over.

I just lent out Somebody to Love by Grace Slick....
I better get it back... :)

I think my books mean that much for me that I jsut can't lend them to anybody. while being home in Belgium my sister read some of my books but after (without me saying anything) promising that she wouldn't open the book completely while reading(I hate it when my book then goes open even when you clsoed it) and putting a nice little plastic bag around it when taking it with her on the train or bus. And everytime I saw the book, she would immediately say that she takes very good care of it!! She mde me feel like a very bad person!1 And I hadn't even said anything!!!! I guess that shows why I don't lend them out, if already doing it with my own sister takes so much out of me.

Water For Elephants is long gone. I lent it to my mother, who is usually really good about getting the books back to me. Unfortunately this time her dog literally ATE THE BOOK! My mom was really upset. She only had another 75 pages to go before finishing the book.

I hope, at least, it tasted good. Goofy dog.

I never loan any books out to anyone just so I can avoid this problem. The one time I did lend out a book (and it was the first and last time) it was my hardcover Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and his little cousin DREW in it. Needless to say he bought me a new copy. and I haven't let anyone else borrow a book again!

It's okay Jeane, don't feel bad. One of my friends is like that with her books, but every time we talked about them while I was reading them she asked if I was taking care of them. And of course I was really careful with them because I know she loves her books. And the one time something did happen, I replaced it right away. Didn't even tell her it was a new copy *snicker* until a coupe years later. She appreciated that though.

I don't believe I have lost any books in the loaning process. But then I stoped loaning out books back in 1984 or so. I had a friend who barrowed a brand new book and returned a damaged book even after promising me she would follow my ruls on how to take care of it. I have gone into detail on this site sometime in the past about this friend so I will not sope box here.

I have recent lent a book or two to my mother who is very careful with my books but it just about KILLS me to hand it over. I will go so far as to buy the person their own copy just so I don't have to lend mine out. Freek that I am but oh well! At least I recognise MY problem and my family just laughs at me. They love me anyway. Take care!

LOL. That is one serious curse by a Monastery!

Abigail, in some way I would love to lend out my books because I adore the feeling that by giving it to read, they will find out about the book, how great it is and will jsut get so addicted to them like me..... but I have this overly strong bond with my books that I just can't.

Gail, you found the right way to explain how it makes me feel to lend a book and practically never do. I think my sister is probably the only person I lend a book, but while Iw as home every day and could do a daily check up! A colleague used to ask if after I finished my book she could read it and I always found an excuse or finished it it and then said it was in belgium and so on... I jsut feel bad saying that I don't want to lend it because the other person immediately says they will take care of it and then think you don't believe them..while it is just that you don't want to part from your books for a second! Like you said Gail: it kills me even just thinking about handing it over!!!! It is just to much and i can't.

Thank you Jeane! I was begging to think I was the only one. But with you and all those above I see that I am not... what a relief! :)

how do y'all feel about BORROWING books?
I don't like to borrow. It makes me nervous. I don't want to mess them up!! Plus, what if I like it too much and want to keep it?

I really don't have a problem borrowing books. For my last two years of college just about every book I read I had borrowed from my roommate. I read books fairly quickly and take care of them, so the people I borrow from don't need to worry.

I am always realllllllllllly careful. Almost so careful, I make myself concentrate too much on holding the book right and not reading it.

I only borrow from the library. I don't like lending books out and I don't like borrowing books...only because it can create potential confict.

A Knight In Shining Armour
The Kite Runner
The Red Tent.
And they are some of my favs! Dang it

Walden and other Writings (it was a beautiful copy)

A bunch of Sam Sheppard's plays

Little Women

Several old paperbacks too numerous to name.

I am getting to the point that I don't really want to loan out any books because they really don't make it back.

The Complete Works of E E Cummings in H.S. Such sadness.

I am so with you on that Ken! I actually keep my rare books out of peoples views. My kids know about them but they don't dare touch for they know just how important they are.

There are so many and I actually don't remember the names of them because it's been such a long time! I know my niece came and took about five books of mine (several were new) and she has yet to return them. I know she hasn't read them either yet but I will get them back :) I make sure of that.

I lent out my Twilight copy to someone. Took me a half year to get it back (I got frustrated and demanded it back :P).

I should make a list. A list of everything I lend out because my memory fails me so often.

I hate it though when people borrow something and return it in a not-so-good shape. My Twilight copy was rather torn :( I also borrowed out my Harry Potter books and several were so torn that I had to TAPE THE COVER. I was privately pissed off.

Some of the Harry Potter DVDs that I had borrowed out were kind of broken. They had so many markings on them that I now have to buy new ones (I haven't yet). I wanted to tell the person who had borrowed them but I chickend out because she's a relative, full-time mother of two young children and well...I just couldn't do it.

It's sad that people can't borrow & return things in the same shape they were in!

I am just a little crazzy on this subject as listed earlyer. My daughter wanted to barrow my Harry Potters, Twitights, and Host books. Her room is just accross the hall from mine. It was hard to lend them to her since they are 1-my book, 2- hardback , 3- have those nice slieves on them. I lent them but I removed the book jacket first. Yes yes yes I dislike lending. ;)