What's the Name of That Book??? discussion

I read it back in late 1999 early 2000ish...

I think it is a series, but I am not sure. Starts out with a girl wanting to kill herself, and attempts in her "clubhouse" but stops, meets up with someone and they go moving through different dimensions. I think some of the dimension portals looked like water... I know it was non-fiction fantasy...

Please Help!!

It has been bugging me for months....

Virtual Mode ?

does she attempt suicide in the beginning?

A search inside the book on Google does seem to confirm that she attempts suicide. Several reviewers on Goodreads also refer to her as suicidal.

Snippet from Google books:
From page 11: "...the drops had fallen cleanly into the water, leaving no give-away stains. Yet somehow she feared that the traces were there, a guilty ambience, so that the next person who used this toilet would somehow know that a person had flirted with suicide here."

YES thats it!! thank you so much!!! I have been looking for this book series for EVER