St. Peter's Asylum discussion

Well because we wanted to LOL. It was fun.

They didn't know about the benefits. They just knew we were friends. And that's my question.

In also wondering how being on the roof will result into me getting knocked up with a Teagan at such a young age. Like WTF?

Mostly I just want to be with this kid. I'd do anything I have my way.

Ah, okay. Well, yeah my parents would be kinda pissed to. Wait, Teagan? Friend or more than a friend? Mostly you just want to be with him. Hmm... I've herd somewhere before. LOL. Anyway, Slivy just be careful. Cause trust me getting in to deep will make you lose the ones you love, I know that for a fact, hun.

Teagan is the baby.

I don't care about "being careful" LOL. It's complicated but I'm just pissed at my parents for changing their minds again about him. Fuck, we were in so deep this time LMAO. We haven't kissed in five months and it's KILLING ME. Hahaha

Ah, I feel stupid. LOL

First, trust me. Nothing is that complicated and if it is I normally can understand. One of my friends Aerie, she's gotten into lots and lots of trouble. Cops, sneaking out, older boyfriends the whole deal. If I can understand that, then I can get what your going though. I mean I've been though my fair share of crap the last year myself, hun. Deep how?

Haha IDK just stuff. My main goal is seeing him, being with him, blah, blah, blah. I'd sneak out for that. You know, LOL it happens. I just want to get away with it just once haha third time's a charm, after all! XD

Yes, Sliv I know it happens but, that doesn't mean you should do it. Even though, you say you love the guy your words will always come crashing down on you weather you like it or not. Just be careful, and don't do anything you'll regrat later. How old is Loverboy? Go to your school? Do I get a name?

No it doesn't but I don't really care to be honest. I've said to much to just leave the poor kid hanging. I don't think I could regret anything at this point LMAO. It's a weird relationship I suppose.

Eighteen. Went to my school. Let's just call him Lover Boy for loyalty reasons LMAO.

Okay well if you don't mindme asking, what did you say? I can name one thig right off the batt, your telling me you wouldn't regret loseing your virginity? To an 18 year old guy; you say you love but Sliv, once its done you can't get it back. Loyalty? I think I know who your calling "Lover boy" you told me that once before, when you were talking about Zach. Is it Zach? Okay, you say your happy and what if "Lover boy" doesn't want you but just wants to get in your pants? You going to let that happen cause you love him?

Sorry, if I'm being a little harsh my friend went though the same thing and it brought her to peices cause after it was all said and done her parents found out, the the guy was 18 and she was only 13 at the time. So, just be careful what you do. I'm just lookin' out for you. :)

Nooooo I've been told to stay a virgin until I'm eighteen. Ordered to, actually LOL. And by love I mean "love" I'm not ready to devote my life to anyone, dear god. We're just having fun and going with the flow haha. And yeah my parents have already thrown that into my face multiple times so it's going to coke down to me talking to him because I can't leave him in the dark, obviously.

Well, still :) Okay well, what I would do is talk to him but say goodbye. Yes, thats like really hard but, that would be the best thing if your asking me. And Sliv, if he is 18 and your 13 or 14 if its gotten just a tiny bit futher the like kissing and someone else saw it and they thought it was something else he could be locked up for stat-rape. EVEN THOUGH nothing happend. I know nothing did, I'm just saying what I know. :)

Yes, yes, I'm aware of that but I'm not saying goodbye just yet. I just can't do it haha. So and nawwwww it hasn't gone that far. Just kissing. Five damn months ago LMAO.

Okay Slivy, Now you sound like me. Here, let me quote you,"but I'm not saying goodbye just yet. I just can't do it " sounds quite formilar. LOL. Anyway, if you don't get it over with it will just get worse Sliv.

It's not like we're not talking. That's not the situation or the relationship. To be honest, I don't mind the situation. No one's aching and pining with broken hearts over people. I'm not saying goodbye because I like his company and I like talking to him.

Okay, good point but lets say your parents found out. You would say your done talking to him, that its all over but, thats not true and you keep seeing loverboy. You think, Oh, my parents won't find out again they already belive its over. but then one day you get in troubble for I don't know going on the roof again, your dad cheecks your cell and finds messages to loverboy when you said the relationship was over. Sliv, then they are never going to trust you again and they will end it themseleves. Do you want that to happen?

1) I'm not going on the roof
2) I'm not going to text him

3) We've already had this conversation with them. I won't text him anymore and besides that, this also depends on how he'll react to this information. It depends on if we can work it out which we'll have to wait and see about.

Ahh. Do you feel better now? Did I say anything useful?

Sure.

Is it possible for females to have a "One That Got Away"? If so, I think I just lost mine. Right now, there are so many "I don't know"'s going through my head such as "I don't know why I'm crying so hard right now. I didn't even like him that much, I thought." or "I don't know why my parents couldn't have not controlled my love life just this once. Let me fully make my own 'mistake'." or"I don't know why if everyone is so determined to believe he didn't care about me and only about how far he could get with me, why would he ask me to stay out of trouble? Act like he cared if everyone is set on believing he didn't care?" and finally "I don't know why I'm posting this, I'm sorry. But I don't know who or where else I can talk about this. I don't know I'd I want sympathy or pity or a harsh 'well you should have known'." I don't even know what to say or how to explain the situation and how I'm feeling.

I don't want this done. I want this to carry on for as long as I can, but I don't have any other options. But no one understands. Not the way I feel like in walking on air when we're just sitting around and talking about the most stupid, random shit in the world. When people hear about us or look at us, no one looks at us. How we get along so well most of the time and how I feel around him. They only see a pair of fucking tits and age.

Okay, I'll admit it. We've discussed some things we shouldn't have. I said I would do things I shouldn't do (even if I want to, which I do. I'LL ADMIT IT.) Sometimes it happens. But that wasn't all we were about. We talked about stuff. Just stuff. Weird, but everyday stuff like everybody else. And no one else is willing to see that.

They've never even MET him and they accuse him of horrible things that aren't in his nature. Just because of a few facts they do know, and they think they know it all. But you don't and you made me give up something dear to my heart.

He knew I was upset (though I'd rather throw myself nude into a Turkish prison than tell him I'm crying because of this) and he tried to comfort me. Do people who don't care about the other even a little try and comfort people? I know I don't. "Don't be sad! There's more to life than talking to me!" Bur guess what, hon? That's probably the most fun and excitement I've had well, ever. When I get that text that says you've responded, my heart does backflips and I start grinning. I don't know why, and I almost hate myself for it, but it's true and I do it almost every time.

Even I'd they'd met him, maybe they wouldn't like him. I understand why, he has flaws. Everyone does. I know what his are, but I somehow overlook them and that's not in my nature. He's arrogant and he can be a tad full of himself/narcasistic. Weird thing is, I don't care. I still want to talk to him, hug him, kiss him, hold his hand, ah, shit. This is just getting pathetic. I'm sorry.

Please? Will someone help me? Or at least try? I think I really need it right now. Thanks. :/

I'll try. Firrst I have to finish reading it! LOL

I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm probably over-dramatizing but I don't think I've stopped crying.

Hun, you don't have to say sorry. You know I've done the same thing to you and lots of other a while back. I'm almost done.

Okay.

Yes, in my mind it is very possible to have 'The one that got away'. I mean I think every female at one point hits that time in their life and for you it just happens to be now. To me parents cn be contorling and they may seem to be a pain at times but just like they say."We do this becasue we love you." But, I mean making your own mistake is probably one of the worst and best things that could happen. A. You'll learn from it B.You have to learn the hard way and may in up losing the ones that truly care about you. Let me guess? Those one thousand question runngi through your head have to do with Loverboy and that pretty much it.
Slivy, I'm sorry but I just have to point this out: I did warn you that something like this might happen.A few pages back) You say 'No one understands.' Which to me isn't true. There is people out there who understands and will listen. Likeme, the only difference is I haven't been through what you going through but I'm still here to help in any way that I can. Sometimes at a time like this you just need a friend.

And I will be the first to admit it. If I saw you and Loverboy hanging out together holding hands, kissing ect.. my first thought WOULD be the age difference. I'm not saying thats the right thought but its a true one. If I were to look more closely though and see that the relationship went deeper then him just wanting to 'get in your pants' then yes, that would change my mind. And to everyone else who thinks about y'all the worng way tell them to "f" off.

And with your parents judging a guy they never meet well, they are just looking out for you would be my answer to that. Even though I do think it's not right they are just being parents.

And yes, most of this probably won't help but I'm just giving you my thoughts on your situation right now and hoping that it will help in the long run. :) Also, stop crying. Things will get better, I know that for a fact. It takes a while but they will and DO get better.

And yes, it's great that people are willing to listen, but who around here actually knows what I'm going through right now when I don't even know for sure how I actually feel about the guy!

I'm independant. I don't like help in shop class (not even from the magnificent LoverBoy) so why would I want help in life? I'm sure rat sounds shellfish and it probably is, but it's true. I think learning the hard way is the best way to learn something. But all that I've learned is that a guy has actually said something to him if not outright say in his own way that he cares about and likes me. And he knew my stepmom was reading the messages afterwards! She's reading then tomorrow so I don't hav her opinion yet. Is it possible he was being more sweet and whatever because he knew his texts will be read tomorrow? Possibly but before he knew she was going to read our texts he was being that way when I started asking him questions! To me, that says something other than, "god you've got a great body and I want to get into your pants". It's never been like that. We've both has trouble expressing why exactly we like each other, but we've both expressed it enough to get the point across.

Well then as far as the age difference goes, it's a good thing most people assume I'm out of high school based on my looks and that he looks16-17. But people judge, it's what we do. I hate it, but it's true. Just, why do people have to judge? It's not fair and it puts a lot of hate into the world.

You're absolutely right, it's not fair or right for my parents to judge a kid (or several kids) based on some stuff they know without meeting them! I just almost wish I could take LoverBoy in tow and have him meet my parents, have him explain to them that he's not just trying to nail and bail. That won't happen, but I can always hope.

My biggest hope right now is that I see him driving home from work and he'll pull over for me. I can't just let this go like that. I mean, we haven't kissed in six painful, action less months and everyone thinks we've been making out every day of the week it seems! If they would stop and ask for details or just actually listen instead of only hearing. We've gotten along this long without doing anything and any other guy would have said the heck with me and walked away. He actually talked to me, and enjoyed it as much as I did. I hate saying this without sounding like some damn fan girl, but he's different. Not just because he still talked to me, but he is different. He's weird and different in a way that I like a lot. I just can't stand to think its gone. It's bullshovik. :/

So slight annoyance I discovered this weekend that could turn into quite the debate if y'all wanna bite. I would like some of your guys' pinion please? LOL.

Ever had a discussion in school about drugs/alcohol where they bring people in and go on and on about not doing such things at our young and tender ages? Perfect. Do you know how they say that peer pressure is the biggest reason people start doing drugs and drink alcohol? I think that's a lot of bullshit. If anyone's been in a situation where the peer pressure DID get bad share? Because what those people tell us about "peer pressure" is nothing's I've experienced. If you reject a joint (or bong whatever they use for weed or whatever LOL) from someone offering they don't taunt you or mock you- to be honest they'd much rather have the high to themselves! LOL no one cares that you don't want to smoke or drink so where does that assumption come from? LOL it's just laughable to me. Anyone else?

SAME. VERY. Although I'm teased with being innocent I don't give a damn. It's teasing.

But teasing's different. I didn't want a beer and this guy called me a wussy and we were laughing over it. That's not the same as constant mocking. Plus be was feeling pretty good sooo LOL I think he found very thing humerous at that point.

Wow, Sliv. Did he just end up crashing back to earth? lol.

You mean did he end up sobering up? Yeah around 5:00-5:30 in bed. He spent the night.

How nice. Spent the nigh,where?

My friend's house. She's the one that had the party. We all slept in her room but him and I went to her brother's room cuz it was empty and hung out.

"hung out" Right. lol. What, were you harmmed too?

No lmao I hadn't drank anything. Well all we did was

~Flirt.!
~Hold Hands.!
~Tickle.!
~Almost Kiss.!
~Talk.!
~Almost Fall Asleep On The Bed Holding Hands.!

:))))))))))))))))))

Well, good for you(for not drinking) everyoe I know would go head first for the beer. LOL.

Awwee, cute. Almost kiss? Who pulled away? Were your parents pissed when you came back home?

Naw no one would share. LOL plus I didn't really want it.

Ummm I kinda pulled away and now I wish I hadn't..At the time I didn't really know if I wanted to but when u figured it out I was too scared to just kiss him.

Why would they have been pissed?

LOL. Ha, nice. Well didn't you run away for two days?

No, Faith. It was just a party.

Ran away? LMAO sure I guess. I was barely home for two days.

@Hope: :p

@Sliv: Ah. I get it now. :)

So I'm going to vent and sleep. I could vent about probably three things right now but I'll only vent this one because its so long-lived and I'm so lost. Anyways;

Why is it that wherever you go, it seems that the person you least want to see you either see or you see a dangerously scary look-a-like. Well, I have that problem every time I go somewhere, and I'm scared to go out in public. I'm scared of running into the real one, especially when I get so worked up just glancing upon someone who looks like him. I try not to cry and go into hysterics, but I can't help it.

This always make me wonder what I would do if I did come across such a situation. Would I be smart enough to run? I'd cry, that's a given, but would I freeze up or run like hell? For my safety, I hope my body makes me run, because if I don't, that leaves me feeling even more frightened. If I don't run, will he? Towards me, god forbid? Will he talk to me, try to capture me? At 6" and at least 240 pounds I wouldn't stand a chance. Especially with the muscle if he up against.

I don't lose sleep scared if having the nightmare. The nightmare I thankfully only had one time, but it scared me enough to make me afraid to sleep. Where I'm a patient at my own little mental asylum, and he runs after me as Arnold Schwartzenaeger (probably because my self conscious cant create his actual face or I would go insane for real) with a knife, killing anyone who steps up to defend me, which is all the people who are helpin me through this rough patch in my life.

But if such a thing does happen, I'm alone and in done for. Friends and family can only help so much, but in still alone. It's me against the world. Against him. And counseling isn't helping. I don't talk still, I can't. I stay silent and let the lady come to he own conclusions about me and my situation without my help. And why should I? I don't feel as though she wants to help me. I feel as though I'm just another case number in her files. For god's sake, she can't remember his name and its a common as fuck one!!

I'm sick of feeling lost. Sick of feeling alone. Sick of being petrified. I'm sick of living in angry fear.

...I don't know what to say, Silvy. I'm sorry, if it helps. I just...good God. I don't know what to say.

I know. But I kno you guys needed some insight on my life at the moment because its very different from the one I had previously. And I needed to get that off my chest for once. That's been held in for a few weeks.

Well, talking it through can certainly help. I'm sorry there's nothing I can do, though. It sounds awful, your situation. Could you call the police?

This is so awful. I feel terrible for you and I feel so helpless.

All I can offer you is an internet-hug, and a promise that you can ALWAYS come talk to me about anything.

I'm sorry, love :c

Already have, and they're not goin to do anything until his trial. I have to wait to see if they lock him up or if he walks away free. Even until them, he's hard to find when he doesn't want to be found.

We're here for support <3

Then the best advice I can give you is to keep away from his usual haunts. Go out with other people at all times, if it makes you feel safer.

It honestly doesnt, and I feel scared for my friends and family as well because I can't constantly be with them and they might bump into him too, and I know for a fact at least three people who would attempt to physically go after him if they recognized him. They wouldn't win, which worries me. Thanks, Iso. It means a lot. :)

Unfortunately, I have no idea where his usually haunts are. But places like Wal*Mart or Wegmans where I see everyone scares me because I could see anyone. And don't even get me started when a number not in my contacts texts me. I literally almost cry every time before I even open the message.

I already talked to a good friend about this and it's still bugging me sooooooo I turn to here ~

To start this story, I need to introduce you all to Matt. He's a very good friend, almost like my brother, and my marimba buddy. He's a senior. And apparently, he's had a thing for me for a really long time.

I'm not a good girl. I'm the kind who flirts without realizing it, who lays across boys' laps and doesn't think twice, etc. I'm just so easy going around guys, and I never really consider that they might see it as more.

Maybe about a month ago, Matt asked me out. But I wasn't ready for a relationship, so I turned him down. I still feel really bad about it.

So my best friend Sydney has/had this thing for a guy named Nathan. He is also like my brother, and I spend like every second ever with him. We're super duper close and stuff.

So, long story short, I think I like Nathan. A lot. But Sydney probably still has a thing for him, and also I can't do that to Matt. Idunno, I just really hate drama and relationships and stress. And when my best male friend, Cubby, is throwing his own relationship problems at me on top of my own and everything it's just way too much and I can't.

Ugh. I just needed to vent. I know I can't be in a relationship with Nathan, and I don't even know if I like him, but it's definitely bugging me. I won't take him from Sydney and definitely I won't do that to Matt.

asdfghjkl thanks for listening yeah

I'm sorry, Iso, that I can't help you or offer advice. I don't function socially in the same way as everyone else.

The best I can do is tell you that I'm here if you'd ever like to talk.