The Making of a Man discussion

I was reading Our December and found Jared reassuring Alex about being gay, written quite a while before the current "It gets better" campaign.

Remember this:

(Alex to Jared)"Are you gay?" he asked without warning. He kept his gaze fixed on the plans. "What are those numbers?" Startled, Jared glanced sideways at the boy. Alex avoided his gaze. Jared refocused on the papers, but his mouth
curved up in a slight smile.

"I am, are you?" he asked bemused.

Alex glanced sideways at him. "Yeah," Alex admitted, voice pitched so low Jared almost didn't hear him.

"Figured. You ask everyone you meet that question? Or did I win the lottery and no one told me," Jared teased.

Alex blushed."It's Clark, he's nosy, and he's trying to figure out how being gay works. We Googled some gay facial recognition stuff after we left the other day. I said you were gay, and he didn't think so." Clearly uncomfortable, Alex's shoulders tensed and he shifted his feet.

"Pretty brave to just ask." Jared was amused.

"He dared me." The confession made Jared laugh and they relaxed.

"So, are those the measurements?" Alex asked.

"Yeah, they're supposed to tell us what we're doing." Jared frowned at the once precise drawings now covered with his notations and corrections. Alex nodded but it was obvious that wasn't what held his interest. He
gave Jared another sideways look. He couldn't be more than fifteen; dangerous territory for the direction the conversation seemed headed. Nevertheless, acting as if talking about being gay was wrong didn't sit well with Jared.

"It's… scary," Alex muttered in a dead on analysis of his situation. It wasn't an easy confession, and none of it seemed like the kind of conversation someone would have with a stranger, but Jared thought it might be easier for Alex that way.

"Yeah, it is. Very scary."

Alex met his eyes. "You know what I mean?" He seemed surprised. His gaze locked with Jared's holding a desperation that gave Jared a vivid flashback to his own burgeoning sexuality. Realizing how different you
are from everyone you know was terrifying, and at fifteen, even worse.

"I know exactly what you mean. It'll be okay." Jared glanced at his watch before calling over his shoulder, "Back to work." His two-man crew put up their lunch boxes and headed back to their jobs.

"You don't seem scared." The boy observed.

Jared shrugged. "I'm not, anymore."

Alex glanced back at the plans. "I didn't know construction workers had to be so smart. That's a lot of math."

"You aren't kidding. It gives me a headache."

"I like math. I'm really good at it." Alex looked back to where they were building. "That's wrong over there, isn't it? It won't fit that way."

Jared felt surprised by the boy's swift analysis of the problem. "Yeah, that's right, any idea what we should do?" he asked with a wiry grin.

Alex barked out a laugh. "No clue, dude, but I could learn to do that, except mine would work."

Jared enjoyed Alex's enthusiasm, but they noticed Clark headed back in their direction and Alex stepped away.

"Really, okay?" he asked with a sudden return to their previous topic, his eyes searching Jared's face for reassurance.

Jared grinned with a confidence he didn't always feel. "Really," he promised.

Alex didn't look convinced, but Clark was ready to go. He slapped at the back of Alex's head on his way by. Alex swatted back, moving with him towards the door. He paused there, glancing back at Jared with a grin before
hurrying after his friend. Jared's heart stuttered and his mouth went dry.

My God, a man could lose his mind to a smile like that.

I love Jared's confidence.

I get the warm fuzzies just thinking back to this. I loved how Jared made Alex feel like he was going to be okay. Like he could grow up to become a "masculine" construction worker if Alex wanted to. The foreshadowing with the building plans was a nice touch. Way to get ahead of the curve on this one Diane!