Historical Fictionistas discussion

A. Plaid and paisley is never advisable.

Q. What are you doing New Year's Eve?

A: The rocket is ready to launch.

Q: What did you have for breakfast?

A. Good things come in small packages.

Q. Is three a crowd or just inconvenient?

We went surfing

When is it appropriate to ask for help?

A. When I was younger; so much younger than today.

Q. What's with the youth of today?

Noetic_Hatter wrote: "Q: Can you do the twist?"

A: I work with several.

Q: What has four wheels and flies?

A male vacuum cleaner

How does one get to be elected President?

A: Winning a dizzy bat competition.

Q: Why don't birds fly upside down?

A: Because they eat chicken pot pie (*gasp* cannibalism!)

Q: Why can't you see air?

Norwegian wouldn't.

Why does coffee not work sometimes?

A: Because you don't drink it through your eye

Q: Why do birds fly South for the winter?

A. They're looking for Antarctica.

Q. Why do Penguins waddle?

Pucks ricochet!


What makes love true?

A: A bookmobile

Q: Why is glass clear?

chewing bubble gum

Q: What is time?

A: I like asparagus

Q: Why is grass green?

A. Because the painter ran out of blue paint.

Q. Why are ripped jeans considered attractive?

A. Because books are my best friends

Q. Who let the dogs out?

Because there is a frog in the garden

Q. Can we get pizza tonight?

A: Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance?

Q: Is there life on other planets?

Most plants are green.

Q. What did we do before cell phones?

Yes, I do love tomatoes

Q. Do you have the tickets?

There is no happiness in this life, only the illusion of happiness.

Q. Will it ever stop raining?

The dinosaurs will let us know.

Q: Why did dodos become extinct?

To get to the other side.

What did Delaware?

Because cats are mammals.

Is Bigfoot real?

A: It takes a monkey 30 sec to scratch the seeds out of a dill pickle


Q: Do you like musical theater?

Red Wine makes me sleepy

Do you know the way to San Jose?

Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning.

Why do cows say moo?

Because of Tom Cruise.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Rodgers and Hammerstein wrote great musicals.

Why is sandwich meat round when bread is square?

Because there are no square pigs.

How do birds fly?

In a FedEx truck.

Have you ever had an extremely bad haircut?

I got stung by a hornet

Are there any cookies?

Physical therapy is good for my knee.

What time is the game on?

Fourscore and seven years ago.

Who invented the lightbulb?

You can plant lettuce as early as April in Zone 5

Did Shakespeare really write all those plays?

I love your new haircut

Who let the dogs out?

Fred Flintstone

How much is that doggy in the window?

All beef is a nickel more.

How many flapjacks does it take to cover a doghouse?

As many socks as it takes to insulate an ice-fishing shack.

Why do wolves howl?

Because the soul particles of ancestors in their brains fire the neurons in their throats that control the howl reflex.

Why do fools fall in love?

When the cow jumps over the moon.

How do the birds tell time?

They memorized sun angle tables.

We hear about Father Time. But, is there a Mother Time?

Only the good die young

What becomes of the broken hearted?

They slip the surly bonds of Earth.

The moon is made of what kind of cheese?

Favorite costume spotted so far is Cruella deVille.


How many seeds in a dill pickle?

There's a man in my bathtub!

How much wood can woodchuck chuck?

Just as many as the pecks of pickled peppers Peter Piper can pick.

What's the furthest distance a far cry can be heard?