Weekly Short Stories Contest and Company! discussion
Weekly Poetry Stuffage
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Week 132 (August 3-9). Poems. Topic: Lightning.
The Letter from the HeavensDrops of rain fall down from the only cloud,
The crack is heard like a striking sound,
Boom! Goes the Thunder
Crash! Goes the Lightning
Together they form a fateful storm.
A tornado twirls this way.
Together they all perform.
Perform a play of destruction.
The news always warns us all.
To make sure we know of the abduction.
The tornadoes takes what it wants.
It kidnaps our homes.
It kidnaps our loved ones.
I cannot take it any longer.
This horror only grows stronger.
I open the door.
I raise my arms and feel the rain on my skin.
Crack!
The lightning hits.
And my vision is blank.
For I no longer will be awake.
A bright light blinds me.
Am I free?
Free from this darkness?
I feel so happy.
I feel so loved.
I see a golden gate.
On it a lightning bolt is engraved.
For I am dead and in heaven.
With all my dearest friends.
That was the strike of the heavens.
It was time for me to go.
It was time for me to know.
Know of this glorious place.
I'm in my own mother's beautiful gown made of lace.
I am full of tranquility here.
Contented and peaceful my dear.
I leave this message behind before I die.
It is meant for my baby I left alone.
I'm sorry I had to go, but I was sick.
I needed to leave child.
When you are older you will read this soon.
When we are both looking at the moon,
We will be together too.
Ps. I love you.
If this confuses you the poem is about a mother who sacrifices herself because she is going to die of an illness and writes this letter about heaven before she dies so when her child is old enough she may read it to comfort itself. Thinking that her mother is happy. And that her mother did really love them. The mother kills herself because she does not want to die slowly of an illness later on in front of her child and friends.
He was drunk and trying to pick up a stripper, but the bouncer told him to go home.
All you need to do, Al, is have your muse/bouncer get dressed in S&M chains and spikes that act like a lightning rod. Hmmm. Maybe that's something I can write!?
OK, Gang! I have been away for a while - I have voted, but my time has been consumed by many other projects! When I saw this topic, I pushed some of those projects aside to carve out for myself a few minutes to jot down this very first-drafty version of what came to mind, as always, whenever I ponder the subject of lightning. Hope you enjoy it - it is a true story!Lightning
It was the evening of a perfect day spent on the water,
cruising, and barbecue-feasting on a boat with the company
of family and friends. A white-hot day, wrapped in air as thick
as boiled molasses, with but our steady progress
along the lazy river to keep us cool and content.
I was eleven years old that summer. The future
was not on my mind. Each day was enough,
more than enough, surrounded by friends,
encircled by family, the sleave of my life
was not yet raveled, and dreams were a comfort.
“Daddy, where is the rain?” I asked, as
darts of light seamed the horizon, followed
by low rumbles in the distance. But no clouds,
no rain, no wind stirred the heavy air; the boat
came to a halt, we set anchor to watch the sky.
“Heat lightning, not a storm,” my father answered,
distracted, as the arcing light exploded above us.
The air was charged, the voltage rose as the sun set,
we were surrounded by electric fire, the air
suffused with ozone, overture ended, the show began.
Surprised by brilliant light, we watched slack-jawed, as the
universe let down her hair, showing us who she is.
We fell silent. Any man-made sound would have been
pitiful response, unworthy of the extravagant display.
Lightning on steroids, incomparable, inimitable, splendid.
I ran below decks, covering my ears, trembling, but
such shelter was no comfort. Alone in darkness
was worse than cacophony with my companions.
I climbed the stairs, returning to watch the sky
tear apart and loose the jagged shards of light.
I felt at once I had no future. The endless
celestial performance surely foretold the end
of us, the world, the universe. Enough was no more,
nor want, nor excess. The climax of creation
neared. A shivering thrill raced through me.
Ready for the end, my resigned heart calmed, but then
the noise of apocalypse began a decrescendo. Perplexed,
I shook my head, I tore my eyes from the sky, to see
my parents and the others lose interest in the show.
Drawn again to the heavens, I alone saw the final act.
In my mind's eye the sight remains, unchanged.
To this day it often streaks through my dreams,
awesome or awful, as dreams will play. No sound,
with no ovation but my transfixed attention, it rolled -
an immense, and perfect orb. The ball of fire ripped across the sky.
I have never seen another, nor any sight to compare
with what I saw that summer night so very long ago.
Today, the noisy thunder, and blue-white forks of light
that seek the ground – they are but shadows, transporting
me to that keystone moment, tied to memory's kite-tail.
Alex (Al) wrote: "Ehhhh...best I can do under the circumstances. Forgotten
By Al
She had forgotten...
the flash in the sky made her recall
all the times she had him
with her.
Pleased him
until he smiled
a sordid..."
What an image that comes to mind upon reading this! I really like this work - hurried though it may have been. You did a great job in such a short amount of time. I'm afraid I was quite a bit more wordy in mine (as usual). Believe it or not, just before posting it, I cut a rather large chunk. I'm sure more cuts are to come, should I choose to spend more time on this one. But leave yours as it is - very nice! By the way, in your next-to-last line - should "please" be "pleased," or "pleases?" Just wondering!
poems arent really my thing xD :3 good job everyone!
The writing in Aria’s “The Letter from the Heavens” flows easily, and the occasional rhyme works nicely. I really like these lines: “It was time for me to know. / Know of this glorious place. / I'm in my own mother's beautiful gown made of lace.”The speaker in Al’s graphically-written “Forgotten” recalls a thunder-and-lightning relationship that had seemed wonderful until the shouting and the beatings, when the man had “smiled / a sordid beam . . .”
Paula’s “Lightning” is a kind of lightning storm of descriptive writing, a verse narrative of a child’s experience one summer evening, when a “ball of fire ripped across the sky” and it seemed to the poem’s speaker that the world would end. Here are some of the passages that stand out for me: “darts of light seamed the horizon”; “we watched slack-jawed, as the / universe let down her hair”; and “the noise of apocalypse began a decrescendo . . .”
Well I cannot hope to compete with Sheblogger but I did my best :D This is the first poem I have ever written that had more than four lines to a verse and it doesn't always ryme.A ship at Sea
Light blares around me
Followed by noise
Before left alone
Riveted by the sight
Although thoroughly ignored
The trees illuminated
The skyline stretched thin
A boulder standing
The rain dropping
Then darkness complete
The glass shakes beneath my fingers
The floor trembling
A cry from above
But what is the meaning?
Is it the sorrow of the gods?
Or merely the mood?
Is there a deeper thought
behind it all?
Or only a show?
Another flash another roar
This time louder
than ever before
I cannot stand anymore
so I go inside and shut the door
But sleep will not come
While the sky fights it's war
I cannot even pretend
To close my red eyes
“I will love you always” the words I swore
Tossing and turning
Listening to the storm
I weep freely
Missing you forever
Forever more
Your ship is weak
Will it weather the sea?
But Love, try and make it, make it to shore
And your side I promise to leave never more .
I like this - there are certain phrases in particular that stand out: "Riveted by the sight Although thoroughly ignored" and: "A boulder standing The rain droppingThen darkness complete"
Both very evocative and made me stop to ponder. Good joB!
BTW, where is Sheblogger's? I don't see it in my page! Did I miss it?
Thank you, I'm glad you liked it. Sheblogger's poem was about four or five posts above my own.
sheblogger posted a poem here? i cant see it :c
Oh my goodness I am so sorry. I thought that was Sheblogger'spoem, but it was actually Paula's. SOrry, no idea how I got that mixed up!
Nah, You're a good Capt'n, at least you can take a joke :D
fat is big so i guess it means we are really nice people xD
I just reread this poem, and it’s awful, but I’m probably not going to have time to write another one. I wrote it this morning while I was ironing clothes. If it doesn’t make any sense to you when you read it, it isn’t that you’re reading it wrong. My wife couldn’t make heads or tails of it.A Missed Flight
The steep, pined shore purpled with a mollusk dye
as lightning spread white roots across a still sky
shot through with the ore red of blood vessels burst,
an August soiree fate had left unrehearsed.
You’d a flight to London in mists before dawn,
our sandbox life undone by jewels you had on--
a suave web a Jaguared, graying spider wove.
What seemed cannonfire shook the mirrorlike cove.
The daylilies, spent, brimmed for me in your eyes.
A cold wind whipped napkins. There came startled cries.
Then your hands were on me. Leaves flew through the air.
Your lips said you wouldn’t mind rain in your hair.
I don't understand it, but hey it rymes! Therefore I like it. Great job as always M
Thank you, Christa and Aria. Christa, don’t like it just because it rhymes! Anybody can make a poem rhyme.I had read Christa’s “A Ship at Sea” yesterday but got distracted before I could sit with it long enough to pull together an impression to post. It graphically conveys a sense of the violence of the storm, the lightning’s eruptions of illumination, the explosive thunder, the bewildered, pining, yet hopeful speaker in the poem. Very nice, Christa!
*Electric by Kat (and her buddy Kaylin :D) I wrote the italics. Hope this counts :D
When you looked that once
The connection was lightning, electric,
A current;
Refusing to be held back.
Your blue eyes fluttered
Down, dark eyelashes; I knew that moment,
I would go
On missing their power.
It was an electric
Moment;when my eyes met your hazel ones,
Magical;
A string tying us together.
I looked away; just
For one moment, but instantly I missed
The feeling
Of being so connected.
Is it real; that sense?
A feeling; pulling us so powerfully.
Could it last; could you
Be the one to make the change?
Breaking a cycle
of hurt. Changing the life that is fated
To be yours.
Break out of your shell.
A feeling I have, I
Have to break out; I just can't be
The girl I used to be;
Scared, timid, shy,
I need to break the box
Something pulls me
Towards the open door way; a force
Too strong to fight,
And I surrender.
You are strong, love.
Even I
Can see that.
You appear and as always
Take my breath.
Steal it like a thief
Would take something beautiful;
Just to prove
It is worth having.
I guess what I am
Trying to say is;
You are
Lovely.
Lovely.
The word
Bounces around
In my head, echoing
Like the most beautiful
Thing in the entire world.
Like your sparkling
eyes, gleaming
In the light.
Beauty.
For a minute, my tongue
is tied.
Did I really just say that,
And are you smiling?
Things seem simple now,
but that first moment
is what I will always remember.
Electricity, pulling us together.
You are beautiful.
And I have hope for the future.
Wow that is really cool. I love the fact that two people wrote it, but truly if you had not put it in italics I would not have been able to tell who wrote what. I relaly liked this verse.For a minute, my tongue
is tied.
Did I really just say that,
And are you smiling?
It showes her hope and his reaction without saying just that.
Thank you very much :DI'll be sure to tell her that :D
i think a broadcast should be sent out about the polls :D it draws in people to vote who didnt participate in the contest even :D
yeah...I don't know how to do that XD I'll ask M.
I got the messages for both polls, Kat. I wondered how you did it! When I send invitations, nobody gets them.
Hmmmm. Idk. I just selected everyone in the group and hit send ....
Along the same line, on the voting page, I sent out 14 invitations to those I think might be interested in voting, if not in participating. I think this would give some of our great poets here an opportunity to be read. Please see the invitation that I wrote and my proposition for another feature in the voting area. Let me know what you think. I left a comment (the first one) on the voting page. Let me know what you think! ALL the poems were so interesting this time around, and evoked many thoughts and ideas for styles I might attempt in future!
M wrote: "I just reread this poem, and it’s awful, but I’m probably not going to have time to write another one. I wrote it this morning while I was ironing clothes. If it doesn’t make any sense to you when ..."M: I hope that from the encouragement you have received on the "I appreciate poetry critique" site, you are convinced to submit more and more. You have been far more praised than otherwise, and that should spur you on to submitting more and more. Some comments on this site can be brutal, and way off-topic, and sometimes take on a tangent of their own, but nevertheless, you can glean some gems from what is said as to your own style of work, and can often serve as ways to show you how to stick to your guns, and sometimes even how to alter or change what you do in order to improve or expand your scope. (Many of yours I see no room for improvement!)
I am quite in love with what you have to say, and the unique ways in which you express them.
I wish you enough. . .*
Paula
*for an explanation, see:
http://paulatohlinecalhoun1951.wordpr...
I don’t like the idea of having more than one vote, but I think it might be a good idea to trim the membership periodically, on the basis of participation. Some members have been around quite a while but haven’t contributed a single post or ever bothered to vote. I think there’s a mistaken idea that the size of a group is a measure of its success.
I've been thinking about that, but I've always been too scared to kick people out without Al's permission. There are literally HUNDREDS of members who don't participate.
AHHHHH Capt'n on a rampage, Run AWAY!!!!!
You deleted M?!! I guess I better book mark this group so I can find it again if I need to :D
I was trying to be funny. It’s that time of evening when I probably should read the posts and keep my mouth shut.Christa and Kat, you are wonderful! Thank you.
Aria, I'm glad your having fun here in the WSS, and throwing your words at us. Your writing is imaginative and engaging.
Thanks Guy! :D It really is good practice that I use on my novel! :D Its a really good group
Al is, despite her claims otherwise, careful and caring about her group's members. Now, if she is housekeeping in the wee hours with a migraine, the odd oops may happen. Though I've not seen any instances of that in my short tenure here.Aria, you're welcome. You may want to give the Get to Know your Character (Popcorn Served) thread a try. You have an imaginative way that suites it, and the format is an excellent exercise in creating dialogue and in creating imaginative action versus description. And it is a great deal of fun to read and to write, although I don't do it as much as I'd like.
I've tried to do that, but my insignificant writing always gets swamped by Al's and M's posts. So I kinda gave it up.
Kat, I understand that they can be intimidating, but don't let that put you off. Two things: writing from the heart is never insignificant. Which doesn't mean the skill with which it is expressed cannot be improved. And, two, allow what you feel to be the good writing of others to stretch your own abilities. Stretch your imagination and language as far as your heart and mind can take it. Writing is a skill that improves with hard exercise and by reading writing that inspires you. Both Al and M are generous spirits with huge imaginations. Allow their writing and generosity to help you with your writing efforts. (I'd write more in popcorn than I do — which is almost nothing, but my life doesn't allow me the time I'd like to spend here.)
Please post directly into the topic and not a link. Please don’t use a poem previously used in this group.
Your poem can be any length, as long as it doesn’t take me all night to read it.
This week’s topic is: Lightning.
The rules are pretty loose. You can write a poem about anything that has to do with the topic. I do not care, but the poem you post must relate to the topic somehow.
Have fun!
Thank you to Aria, who came up with this week’s topic!