Shawna

“People ask me if I like golfing, and I look at them and reply, "Does The Pope wipe his ass with tuna fish sandwiches?" That response is NOT sponsored by Subway.”
― Jarod Kintz, To be good at golf you must go full koala bear

“I watch people play golf in silence. Even after they hit I remain quiet, because my commentary won't help the ball roll into the hole, but it will saturate the air with unwanted pressure. Spoken words are like direct energy weapons, and I don't deploy them at an unarmed target.”
― Jarod Kintz, To be good at golf you must go full koala bear

“Some men are dedicated to golf like I'm addicted to cheese. We have real problems, but somehow only the alcoholics get to claim a disease.”
― Jarod Kintz, To be good at golf you must go full koala bear

“I was allowed exclusive access to Project Looking Glass' future-viewing telescope, and there's good news and bad news. The good is the game of golf manages to live on after you starve to death, and the bad is you'll never get to realize just how meaningless you are to the sport.”
― Jarod Kintz, To be good at golf you must go full koala bear