Shinogerm

“Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well with French fries.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“I love running. I’m not into marathons, but I am into avoiding problems at an accelerated rate.”
― Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

“More people are leaving TV behind to read my books than ever before. In the last year alone I gained over two readers (three, to be exact). So I’d like to take a moment and say thanks mom, dad, and kidnap victim I keep chained in the basement.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over.

“I like to spoon after I fork.”
― Jarod Kintz, I Want