Susan Gabriel's Blog, page 21

“When the well is dry, for me, it’s usually more about attitude than inspiration or lack of inspiration. It seems to me so much of writing is about courage, writing something so raw you don’t want to say it aloud. That’s how I felt writing unmotherly thoughts in my first novel, and feel now writing about desperation in my second. The key to moving forward is breaking through whatever is holding me back, which is usually being a Good Girl, lined up in a multigenerational kick line with Good Daughter and Good Mother. I need to remind myself that being the mother of five in the suburbs might mean being responsible and routinized in a million small ways, but it doesn’t have to define me to the core.

The antidote is being a badass in some small way, like sitting up on our pitched roof at night, or listening to “Jane Says” in the elementary-school car line. I have three leather bracelets, black and grey bands that wind around my right forearm, and when I put them on it feels like channeling superpowers. It’s important to find a small way to go off the reservation, even in the car line. Especially in the car line.”

—Nichole Bernier, author of The Unfinished Work of Elizabeth D. (Crown, 2012)

I can’t say I’ve ever considered myself a badass, but I like what she has to say. Writing is about courage, especially memoir writing. If we stay in Good Girl, Good Daughter and Good Mother roles (or Good Boy, Good Son and Good Father roles for that matter) we won’t write anything REAL.  With that in mind, I am going to practice being a badass this week. I’m not sure what that will look like, but I think I’ll go for it. What about you? How can you practice being a badass? Maybe we can do it together.

Website and Books.

Facebook Author Page.

Dear Readers,

I am incredibly grateful for each and every one of you and instead of my usual list of 100 Things I’m Grateful For that I sometimes post at Thanksgiving, (see previous year’s posts here and here) this year I’ve decided to send you blessings. Seven of them. These blessings (that I wrote especially for you) are not only for Thanksgiving, but for the upcoming holiday season.

Some of you may roll your eyes at the word “blessings,” but really, we could all use a few, myself included. We stay so busy and distracted this time of year (well, actually all year), and we tend to forget how important community is to us. Whether it’s a blog community like this one, a writing community (like the Fearless Writing for Women groups), or communities in our very own neighborhoods, towns and cities—we’d be awfully lonely without each other.

I am also aware that the holidays can be rough for a lot of people. Especially those who are alone or have recently experienced a loss or for those who are estranged from their families or perhaps not as close as they’d like to be. So I offer these blessings not as sugar-coating to the sometimes saccharin holidays, but as my sincere wish for you. As a writer, I would be nothing without you, dear readers.   

 

May your holidays be a joyous and deeply felt celebration no matter where you are.
May you be a gracious host and a thoughtful guest, as well as enjoy your own company.
May you be a kind and caring friend and have your friendship returned in a multitude of ways.
May you experience deep, heartfelt connections in unexpected places.
May you know that your community is richer having you in it and may you act accordingly.
May you experience that your life matters, no matter what the season.
May you feel that you are loved and valued in this moment, especially from within.   

 

xo

Susan

www.susangabriel.com

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Fearless Writing: Find Your Voice! With Susan as your personal writing mentor you can  start writing today! 

Are you a writer or do you want to be one? Maybe you’ve written in journals your whole life or dreamed of writing a novel someday. Or perhaps you’ve started something and can’t seem to get it finished and could use a nudge, or you’re not sure of the next step. Or possibly you need some feedback on what you’ve written so far. Or you simply want to live a more creative life and would like some ideas on how to do that.

If so, I hope you’ll consider taking this short (4 questions) anonymous survey that I’ve created. It will help me find out what kinds of writing support you might need/want/like, including an online version of the Fearless Writing for Women workshops, that quite a few of you have asked me about.

If you want to be heard, I’m listening. Please click here to take the short survey. Did I mention that it’s completely anonymous?

Thanks!

P.S. The survey can be found here: https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/MZ76F25

P.P.S. Here is what I have listed (so far) as writing services on my author website .

If you don’t know about McSweeney’s you might want to check it out. It is an American publishing house founded by editor Dave Eggers and headquartered in San Francisco. They also print an excellent literary journal called McSweeney’s Quarterly, which is well worth subscribing to.

Here’s something from their website. Since I like to laugh and I love to write, I enjoyed this list and thought you might, too. If anything resonates with you, I hope you’ll let me know. In the meantime, KEEP WRITING (singing, dancing, yodeling, painting, sculpturing, composing, and otherwise being creative)!

The Ultimate Guide to Writing Better Than You Normally Do.
BY Colin Nissan


WRITE EVERY DAY

Writing is a muscle. Smaller than a hamstring and slightly bigger than a bicep, and it needs to be exercised to get stronger. Think of your words as reps, your paragraphs as sets, your pages as daily workouts. Think of your laptop as a machine like the one at the gym where you open and close your inner thighs in front of everyone, exposing both your insecurities and your genitals. Because that is what writing is all about.

DON’T PROCRASTINATE

Procrastination is an alluring siren taunting you to google the country where Balki from Perfect Strangers was from, and to arrange sticky notes on your dog in the shape of hilarious dog shorts. A wicked temptress beckoning you to watch your children, and take showers. Well, it’s time to look procrastination in the eye and tell that seafaring wench, “Sorry not today, today I write.”

FIGHT THROUGH WRITER’S BLOCK

The blank white page. El Diablo Blanco. El Pollo Loco. Whatever you choose to call it, staring into the abyss in search of an idea can be terrifying. But ask yourself this; was Picasso intimidated by the blank canvas? Was Mozart intimidated by the blank sheet music? Was Edison intimidated by the blank lightbulb? If you’re still blocked up, ask yourself more questions, like; Why did I quit my job at TJ Maxx to write full-time? Can/should I eat this entire box of Apple Jacks? Is The Price is Right on at 10 or 11?

LEARN FROM THE MASTERS

Mark Twain once said, “Show, don’t tell.” This is an incredibly important lesson for writers to remember; never get such a giant head that you feel entitled to throw around obscure phrases like “Show, don’t tell.” Thanks for nothing, Mr. Cryptic.

FIND YOUR MUSE

Finding a really good muse these days isn’t easy, so plan on going through quite a few before landing on a winner. Beware of muses who promise unrealistic timelines for your projects or who wear wizard clothes. When honing in on a promising new muse, also be on the lookout for other writers attempting to swoop in and muse-block you. Just be patient in your search, because the right muse/human relationship can last a lifetime.

HONE YOUR CRAFT

There are two things more difficult than writing. The first is editing, the second is expert level Sudoku where there’s literally two goddamned squares filled in. While editing is a grueling process, if you really work hard at it, in the end you may find that your piece has fewer words than it did before, which is great. Perhaps George Bernard Shaw said it best when upon sending a letter to a close friend, he wrote, “I’m sorry this letter is so long, I didn’t have time to make it shorter.” No quote better illustrates the point that writers are very busy.

ASK FOR FEEDBACK

It’s so easy to hide in your little bubble, typing your little words with your little fingers on your little laptop from the comfort of your tiny chair in your miniature little house. I’m taking this tone to illustrate the importance of developing a thick skin. Remember, the only kind of criticism that doesn’t make you a better writer is dishonest criticism. That, and someone telling you that you have weird shoulders.

READ, READ, READ

It’s no secret that great writers are great readers, and that if you can’t read, your writing will often suffer. Similarly, if you can read but have to move your lips to get through the longer words, you’ll still be a pretty bad writer. Also, if you pronounce “espresso” like “expresso.”

STUDY THE RULES, THEN BREAK THEM

Part of finding your own voice as a writer is finding your own grammar. Don’t spend your career lost in a sea of copycats when you can establish your own set of rules. If everyone’s putting periods at the end of their sentences, put yours in the middle of words. Will it be incredibly difficult to read? Yes it will. Will it set you on the path to becoming a literary pioneer? Tough to say, but you’re kind of out of options at this point.

KEEP IT TOGETHER

A writer’s brain is full of little gifts, like a piñata at a birthday party. It’s also full of demons, like a piñata at a birthday party in a mental hospital. The truth is, it’s demons that keep a tortured writer’s spirit alive, not Tootsie Rolls. Sure they’ll give you a tiny burst of energy, but they won’t do squat for your writing. So treat your demons with the respect they deserve, and with enough prescriptions to keep you wearing pants.

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So what do you think? Did you find the MUSE section, very a-Muse-ing?

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Poet, Valerie Worth, is most famous for her “small poems,” poems for children about everyday objects. She said:

“As a child, I preferred reading and writing to everything else, and I still feel much the same way. I was also greatly attracted to ‘smallness,’ perhaps because throughout grade school I myself was the smallest in my class. My favorite fairy tale was ‘Catskin,’ about the princess given three ball gowns—one like the sun, one like the moon, and one like the stars–packed up in a walnut shell; and the idea of such magnificence hidden inside so plain and tiny a thing not only fascinates me still, but also has served as a model for many of my poems.” (from Writer’s Almanac)

Her books include Small Poems (1972), Small Poems Again (1986), and Curlicues: The Fortunes of Two Pug Dogs (1980). Here is a poem from More Small Poems. Published by Farrar, Straus and Giroux. Copyright 1976, called “Safety Pin.”

 

Safety Pin

Closed, it sleeps

On its side

Quietly,

The silver

Image

Of some

Small fish;

 

Opened, it snaps

Its tail out

Like a thin

Shrimp, and looks

At the sharp

Point with a

Surprised eye.

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Did you ever think you would enjoy a poem about a safety pin? I love stories like these, where a fairy tale leads to a magical way of seeing things and a life’s work. We need to follow what inspires us, even if it is a small thing. Thoughts? Questions?  I hope life is treating you well.

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P.S. Did you know I have 3 different websites? (No small thing!)

Here’s my author website that has info about me and where to buy my books: www.susangabriel.com

Here’s my consulting and editing website that offers services for writers: www.susangabrielconsulting.com

And here’s an additional website for my first novel, Seeking Sara Summers, published in 2008: www.seekingsarasummers.com

J.K. Rowling is often asked to give advice to aspiring writers, and her answer is always the same:

“Read as much as you possibly can. Nothing will help you as much as reading and you’ll go through a phase where you will imitate your favorite writers and that’s fine because that’s a learning experience too.”

Over a decade ago, I heard the same advice at a writer’s conference I attended. The presenter, the author of a dozen books, encouraged us to read 100 books of whatever kind we hoped to publish. Read 100 mysteries. 100 memoirs. 100 children’s books, 100 novels in the genre you want to write. A collective gasp filled the room. What? Writers are supposed to read??

However, I believe it is sound advice. A writer who never reads books is like a musician who never listens to music. It just doesn’t make sense. If writers are serious about their craft, they will want to read the acclaimed writers in their field and learn from them. I know, I do.

Thoughts? Questions? As always, I’d love to hear from you.

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P.S. My novels, Seeking Sara Summers and The Secret Sense of Wildflower are available as AUDIO books on Audible, Amazon and iTunes. If you don’t want to read, you can always listen.

I’ve had a couple of requests from blog readers to let them know about how the Fearless Writing Workshops are going. (I wrote a blog post about it a few weeks ago.) And I’ve even had an “Are you okay?” email from my writing friend John, a reader and faithful blog commenter, who noticed I haven’t been online or emailing as much. To answer your question, John, I’m fine—thanks so much for asking! In typical fashion, whenever I take on something new I drop out of sight for a while as I create whatever it is I’m working on—whether it’s a novel, class or a workshop.

My back porch. © R.K. Young

As for the current workshops I’m leading here in my home in the mountains of North Carolina, I’m happy to report that they’re going great. The colder weather has moved us from the back porch into the living room, but I love having a room full of women writing. Some of them have been keeping journals since they were girls, others started later in life and want to write their memoirs. Still others have written a novel and different stories but are hesitant to show them to the world. ALL of them have great stories to tell in one form or another.

In the span of two hours, I offer three different writing prompts. For those of you that don’t know, writing prompts are short writing exercises where writers are given a suggested topic or storyline and they are given a certain amount of time to write about it. Writing prompts are great for writers who don’t always know what to write about or are in need of some new inspiration.

For instance, this is one of the longer prompts I used the first week:

Write about your mother’s kitchen. Include lots of sensory details as you remember this room: sights, smells, sounds, and textures, tastes you remember, the look of it and feel of it. Where was the kitchen located in the house? What purpose did it serve in the family? Did it have other purposes other than meals? Set the details in a certain time, when you were ten, for example, or when you were a teenager or a young child. Perhaps write about a time when something significant happened in this kitchen. Let your imagination go. Notice who shows up, if anyone. (You can also write about a fictional kitchen of a fictional character. Anything goes!)

After those who wanted to share what they’d written had shared, I talked about the importance of sensory details in good writing, so these women not only get to be creative and write, but they also get mini-lessons on how to develop their craft.

In the first hour we typically do two shorter prompts of 10 minutes each, followed by sharing (anyone who wants to can share, but they can always opt out) followed by a writing tip.

We take a short 5 minute break after an hour to pass out chocolate (received like a sacrament!) and then we do a longer writing prompt of 20 minutes, share again, followed by another writing tip and Q & A when they can ask me writing related questions.

The surprises or things I’d forgotten about running groups:

how supportive women are to each other once a safe place is established
how quickly they bond, how vulnerable they are willing to be
I love watching them walk up my driveway afterwards talking and being so engaged with each other. I like knowing I had something to do with creating that.
 It also reminds me of how much courage it truly takes to write the truth about whatever you’re writing about and how commendable it is when people show up and are brave.
I am also remembering how much I enjoy leading groups like this. It comes naturally after years of experience, although I’ve put in lots of planning and thinking up prompts that I hope will be meaningful to this group and to writers in general.

The result: I’ve had two women in the group tell me that they look forward to the group all week and I’ve also had another woman tell me that it’s the best $149 she has ever spent in her life! Not to mention, I also get huge hugs at the door when they leave. What could be better than that?

This Friday will be our 4th Friday and after this 6 week workshop is over I plan to do two more groups starting in January. I’ll offer Fridays again (some of these same women may opt to return since the prompts and writing tips are always changing). Also I’ll add a Saturday morning group, since I had so many women who have commitments during the week ask if I’d consider doing one then.

I may also do an online version via video conferencing, on Tuesdays from 1 – 3 pm eastern.  Let me know if you have an interest in this. Same great format, but the hugs and chocolate will have to be virtual.

If you haven’t seen me online as much this is why. I’m busy creating more experiences that I love and moving through my own fearlessness as I share my work with the world.

And, yes, I am also working on my next book!

Thoughts? Comments? As always, I’d love to hear from you. xo

www.susangabriel.com

Here are seven quotes about the craft of writing from Nobel Prize winner Alice Munro. I found these in an article in The Week, which began:

Alice Munro has been lauded as “Canada’s Chekhov” thanks to her amazing skill as a short-story writer. And while she is no stranger to acclaim and awards, on Thursday she became just the 13th woman to win the Nobel Prize in Literature.

 

On writing short stories

I don’t really understand a novel. I don’t understand where the excitement is supposed to come in a novel, and I do in a story. There’s a kind of tension that if I’m getting a story right I can feel right away, and I don’t feel that when I try to write a novel. I kind of want a moment that’s explosive, and I want everything gathered into that. [via The New York Times]

On whether she considers herself a feminist writer

Naturally my stories are about women — I’m a woman. I don’t know what the term is for men who write mostly about men. I’m not always sure what is meant by “feminist.” In the beginning I used to say, well, of course I’m a feminist. But if it means that I follow a kind of feminist theory, or know anything about it, then I’m not. I think I’m a feminist as far as thinking that the experience of women is important. That is really the basis of feminism. [via The Atlantic]

On her influences

The thing about the Southern writers that interested me, without my being really aware of it, was that all the Southern writers whom I really loved were women. I didn’t really like Faulkner that much. I loved Eudora Welty, Flannery O’Connor, Katherine Ann Porter, Carson McCullers. There was a feeling that women could write about the freakish, the marginal. [via Paris Review]

On memory

I have never kept diaries. I just remember a lot and am more self-centered than most people. [via New Yorker]

On revisions

I’ve often made revisions at that stage that turned out to be mistakes because I wasn’t really in the rhythm of the story anymore. I see a little bit of writing that doesn’t seem to be doing as much work as it should be doing, and right at the end I will sort of rev it up. But when I finally read the story again it seems a bit obtrusive … There should be a point where you say, the way you would with a child, this isn’t mine anymore. [via Paris Review]

On creating convincing characters

I always have to know my characters in a lot of depth — what clothes they’d choose, what they were like at school, etc. And I know what happened before and what will happen after the part of their lives I’m dealing with. I can’t see them just now, packed into the stress of the moment. So I suppose I want to give as much of them as I can. [via Knopf]

On making sacrifices

It’s certainly true that when I was young, writing seemed to me so important that I would have sacrificed almost anything to it … Because I thought of the world in which I wrote — the world I created — as somehow much more enormously alive than the world I was actually living in.

As you get older your rampaging need to write diminishes a bit. You have to face the amazing fact that you’re probably going to die, at some time, anyway. So everything you do in your life then seems more relative because it’s just part of your life. [via The Atlantic]

Congratulations to Alice Munro! I’ve read a few of her short stories over the years and really liked them. Was there anything in these quotes that surprised you?

Website and books.

The trail I walk by the river

The other night I found myself discouraged, as many people do these days, and I decided to make a list of what gives me hope in this crazy, mixed-up and amazing world of ours.

For some reason it feels comforting to make a list, like it’s a way to put order to the chaos, and remind myself to trust the process.

If it makes sense to you, I encourage you to make your own list (or write a Haiku or a paragraph) about what gives you hope. Then feel free to gift it to the other blog readers in the comment section.

 

What Gives Me Hope:

Trees

Kindness

Mountain streams

Smiling children

Rivers

Small towns

Slower rhythms

Deep breaths

Forests

Wilderness

Dreams

Sacred places around the world

Creativity

Mountains

Beaches

Valleys

A great story

Soft voices

Blues music

Gospel choirs

Tree groves

Authenticity

Long walks outside

A good nights sleep

Farmers markets

Live music in intimate settings

A thoughtful barista or anyone who is thoughtful

Knowing myself and what I need

Eye contact

A smile from a stranger

Laughter

Time with friends

City parks

Sitting by a river

Hammocks

Literary agents who love my work

book sales

Cool, clean water

Paths

Deep conversations

Beautiful images

Stories that give me courage

Old Friends

New friends

Nonjudgmental friends

My own groundedness

Courage from unlikely people

Old fashioned letters

Campfires

Wildflowers

Blue skies

Sunrises

Sunsets

Full moons

Waning moons

New moons

Hummingbirds

Butterflies

Inchworms

Lightning bugs

Tree houses

Seasons

Knowing that this, too, shall pass

Dignity

People with integrity

Wildlife

Nature

The Grand Canyon

National parks and national forests

Whales

Dolphins

Polar bears

Genuineness

Truthfulness

Loggerhead turtles

Bee hives full of bees

Honey

Hard work

Not working at all

A good film

A really well written book

Belief in something bigger than myself

A sense of purpose in my life

Mountain vistas

Belief that there are good people in the world

A belief that we are all connected

A good meal

Unplugging from electronics in the evenings and weekends

Poetry

Poets

Artists

Bookstores

Libraries

Knowing I could be wrong about things

Tolerance

Acceptance

Imagination

Writers who actually write instead of just talk about it

Art supplies

People who read

People who read novels and short stories

Literary journals

Young people who refuse to follow the herd

Old people who refuse to follow the herd

Anyone who dares to be different

Independent publishing

Writers who are empowered

Good editors

Belief in myself

Readers, readers, readers

Gratitude

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What would you add to the list?

My website.

My novels are available as Audio books at Audible, Amazon and iTunes.

After finishing my year of walking by the river last month, I’ve felt a strong need to show up in the world more. Not only did I garner more confidence from my accidental pilgrimage, but I also caught glimpses of the bigger picture. Things I already knew, but had to realize again. About how everything in the universe is connected. About how we’re all in this together. About how we’ve each been called upon to develop whatever talents we have in order to give something back to the others on this planet-based sojourn. Perhaps these offerings are small, based on the large needs of the world, but it’s important that we do them anyway.

I haven’t led workshops since my counseling days, and back then they weren’t about women who write, but about much more serious, soul-crushing things that women had to deal with. Including me.

However, we need our soul’s nourished, too, so I’d like to think of my latest offering as Susan 2.0. The older, hopefully wiser, version of me. The me that is still struggling to some extent, still grateful and still on the journey, with many lessons learned and 17 years of writing experience to my credit.

Below is part of a flyer I sent out locally last week, minus the details (meets for 6 weeks, Fridays 1 – 3, etc.), since if you live in California or the UK or France (as many of you do), you probably can’t make it.

Here’s the flyer:

Fearless Writing for Women

…with Susan Gabriel

Do you write fiction, poetry, memoir or nonfiction – or want to? Do you want a safe place to explore the rewards of a creative life and learn how to successfully navigate the challenges? Whether you are a beginner or have been writing for years, this 6 week writing workshop will give you a structured, supportive space along with expert guidance from a professional writer to develop and deepen your writing in a community of women.

The group will be led by acclaimed writer, Susan Gabriel, who has 17 years writing experience, as well as 10 years experience as a licensed professional counselor. Her latest novel, The Secret Sense of Wildflower, received a coveted starred review from Kirkus Reviews, which also named the novel as a Best Book of 2012. This course focuses on the craft of writing. Through exercises, discussion and sharing — all designed to open you to your deeper creative self — you will gain more confidence in your writing, receive plenty of encouragement and have the option of receiving feedback.

My back porch. © R.K. Young

This group will meet on Susan’s rustic back porch overlooking the ancient Blue Ridge Mountains (two miles from downtown Brevard). On colder days participants will gather by the fireplace in her living room, with the same great view. Limited to 7 women; suitable for both beginners and more advanced writers. Tea, coffee & chocolate included!

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It seemed important that chocolate be a part of a community of women writers. My partner-in-life thought that one up and a dear friend took the inviting photo of my back porch. I had other friends who offered suggestions and ideas as I honed my vision. I haven’t felt the least bit alone in this endeavor. Even as I lay awake in the middle of the night dreaming up meaningful writing exercises, I don’t feel a moment’s hesitation. Like I did 23 years ago at the Women’s Center I founded in Charleston, SC, I am creating a place for women again. And I’ve come home to the best part of myself.

As always, I welcome your thoughts and THANKS FOR READING. xo

P.S. While I very much treasure the men in my life and know that men need support with their writing, too, I find that there is a demand for groups that are exclusively female, and want to provide that environment for those who are interested.

P.P. S. Full information on the workshop is here: www.susangabriel.com/workshops/