Sophia Henry's Blog

New Cover, Who Dis?

Here’s the scoop…

When I started the Material Gils series I didn’t know what kind of cover I wanted.

My hockey book covers have close-ups of men’s faces—(until that last one)—so I thought I should stick with that branding as I moved into a new series.

When I approved the original cover, I was happy with it—hell, I picked the dude—but there was something about his smirk that always struck me the wrong way. It didn’t reflect Austin…the hero of my book. And the model didn’t have any tattoos at all. Austin is covered! The one you see on the old cover is photoshopped on.

I didn’t make any changes because I was already behind on my schedule and I was happy enough.

Then came LIVE TO TELL and the image my cover designer and I chose was an amazing, gorgeous, model— but the dude was shirtless…and I LOVED IT!

Then came CRAZY FOR YOU…we found another gorgeous, perfect shirtless model…and I LOVED IT!

At this point, less than six months after OPEN YOUR HEART was released, I realized I wanted all the covers to be similar. They have the same font and style, of course, but that first model was not the right fit. He needed to be hot, tattooed, and shirtless.

A facelift, tummy tuck, and multiple hours (MONTHS) at the tattoo shop later (hahahaha)…I finally have the new cover for OPEN YOUR HEART.

I think it fits the series quite well and is a much better physical representation of Austin, the sexy, tatted-up musician hero with a heart of gold.

What do you think? Drop your comments below. :)

If you have the e-book on Kindle and you want the updated cover, you can update by going into your settings.

Hope you love the new cover as much as I do, but I hope you love the BOOK even better. :)

Huge thank you to:

Matt Geeling - Photographer

Shane Burnell - Model

Hell Yes Design - Cover Design

I never wanted anyone like this…

I’m gonna kill my brother.

I should be in the office keeping our tattoo ink distribution company together. Instead, I’m stuck dealing with a 22-year-old, tatted-up tinkerbell. Em Vicious is a walking, talking contradiction: a sassy, goth fairy with a body inked in flowers, stars, and jewels.

While she’s promoting Ambassador Ink, the flirtatious free spirit needs a babysitter. And thanks to my brother and his wife who’s about to drop twins, I’m the one who has to accompany her during her tour as a guest artist at tattoo shops across the country over the next four weeks.

Sharing the same space with an immature artist is hard enough, yet something about her has me thinking about my own past.

When the barbs become banter, and desire flourishes from frustration, I should tell her to turn and walk away. I see too much of myself in her--and it scares me. I'm afraid the pressure of money and fame might lead her to the same place it lead me--the peak of a suspension bridge and ready to jump.

CRAZY FOR YOU is a full-length standalone novel in the Material Girls series. Happily Ever After guaranteed. WARNING: Be ready for playful banter, forced proximity, enemies to lovers, and a sexy May-December romance.

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LIVE TO TELLMaterial Girls 2

Release Date: December 17, 2018

When a high powered executive needs to escape an abusive ex-boyfriend and her sexy landscaper needs to stay in the country, engaging in a fake relationship seems like the perfect solution. But in a high stakes game of family feuds and legal affairs, can fake love really conquer all?

The truth is never far behind...

Secrets. Lies.
Deceptive webs I vowed never to weave because of the ones I’d been caught in.
But telling the truth didn’t set me free…it set me on track for deportation.
So when Madeline Commons, heiress to one of the country’s largest department store chains, offered to help with my situation, I agreed.

I needed a way to stay in the country.
She needed to get away from her abusive ex.
A fake relationship was the perfect solution for both of us.

But there’s a massive problem with our plan.
Maddie’s the girl I’ve had a crush on since I was thirteen.
The biggest lie isn’t our fake relationship, it’s telling myself I can keep it casual. 
When I found out I’d be forced to leave, I thought giving up family, friends, and the business I worked my tail off to make successful would be the hardest part, but the truth is…
It’s leaving Maddie that will break me.

LIVE TO TELL is a full-length standalone novel in the Material Girls series. Happily Ever After for Erik and Maddie guaranteed. No cliffhanger…though you may be lured into the next book of the series.

❤️ Cover Design: Lori Follett at Hell Yes Design Studio ❤️

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 OPEN YOUR HEARTMaterial Girls 1September 17, 2018

FREE on Kindle Unlimited or $0.99 for a limited time!

 

When an aspiring surgeon from a prestigious family loses her promising career, she locks up her emotions—and her heart. But a sexy musician from the wrong side of the tracks just might hold the key.

 

We are living in a material world…

 

Austin

I’m no hero.

But when I saw a wrecked, still-smoking SUV, I had to help.

I never thought I’d see the driver’s beautiful face again. Never wanted to after I found out she was from one of the wealthiest, most powerful families in the city. 

I’d never be good enough for a woman like that.

But there she was six months later, in the second row at my show, dancing to the song I wrote about her.

Maybe fate is more powerful than money.

 

 

 

Liz

A car accident took away full use of my hand—which is difficult for anyone, and catastrophic for an aspiring surgeon.

The career my parents pushed me toward since I was a kid is over. I don’t know how to tell them—or where my life goes from here.

Then I met Austin, the brooding, sexy musician who stole my breath—and unlocked my heart.

We come from different worlds, and my family has made it very clear they don’t approve. I’m no material girl—I thought we could make it work. But I didn’t realize just how far my parents would go to keep us apart...

 

OPEN YOUR HEART is the first full-length novel in the Material Girls series, but can be read as a standalone. Happily Ever After guaranteed. No cliffhanger…though you may be lured into the next book of the series.

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A friend recently called me a fixer. I denied it immediately. 

I’m not a fixer! I’m a healer!

But what I didn’t realize in that moment—with that person—was that I had strayed into “fixer”mode. I think many healers and caregivers tend to do this when they care about someone. But "fixing" is trying to manage an outcome by pushing my beliefs on someone.

And that’s not what my friend needed. That’s not what drew this person to me in the first place. He was drawn by my energy. My healing energy. That radiation that makes people feel better by being around me. 

 

I AM a healer.

 

When I stay centered and radiate my energy of love and light, that’s being a healer. I’m at my best when my energy calms people. When they can see a reflection of their love and light in me. That’s what helps them heal themselves. Healing comes when people make their own choices.

I veered off the path of healing into fixing.

And when I fell out of balance—it took me out of balance in other parts of my life. Or rather, it showed me how out of balance I was in other aspects of my life.

When this friend called me a fixer he was absolutely correct, but I didn’t see it. I tried to push my agenda on him instead of just loving him as he is for who he is. He is a beautiful soul. One who has taught me and propelled me forward.

I was off balance. My energy was not focused. I pushed my agenda onto him. Something he didn't deserve.

I appreciate my friend for calling me out. I appreciate him for bringing the shift from healer to fixer to my attention. I have things to resolve in myself. I work on that every day. I am aware of it. My insecurities, which throw off my balance, hurt not only our friendship, but more importantly, hurt HIM. And for that, I deeply apologize. My friend was much better off when I was a source of light and love--the place I want to live.

If I'm honest--this friend is better off without me until I find my balance in other aspects of my life. Or maybe he'll chose to help me find that balance?

I’m not broken; I am out of balance. Every day I continue to reset and focus. 

To my friend: I’m sorry. I'm sorry for judging you instead of loving you. I’m sorry I tried to fix you when you weren’t the one who was out of balance. I'm sorry I spit my own insecurities at you. I see now. I understand. I appreciate you and all you said to me. You were right. You are right. Thank you for your honesty and energy. You have zero reason to forgive me, but I hope you can.

Today, I admit my mistakes and try to find balance again.

I have a confession.
 

I've wasted too much time in my life looking for validation from other people. Am I smart enough? Am I a good person? Am I a good mom? Am I good writer?

It's normal to want praise--a few words about how other see and appreciate us and what we're doing. Some of us thrive on it. I think that's why it's so easy for me to give praise and motivation to others. I need it; so I assume others might need it, too.

 

But I've spent way too much time seeking validation.

I'm proud of who I am. I'm proud of the majority of decisions I've made. I'm proud of how I treat people. Do I think I'm perfect? Absolutely not. But I think I'm a good person. And that has to be enough right now. 

I'm trying to get my life in order again because it's difficult for me to function in chaos. I'm the girl that can't go to sleep in an unmade bed. I will literally MAKE the bed, then pull down the covers and get in. And when life is chaotic, I get off track. I start seeking validation from others. Instead of jumping in quick and getting out, I live in that place. I grab a cozy fleece blanket and snuggle up in a place of acceptance and love. A place where I feel comfortable and safe...

But living life isn't safe--it's uncertain. It's a big fat question mark. It's the cliffhanger at the end of every chapter. Because we literally have no clue what's coming at us tomorrow.

Maybe that's why I chose to be an author. I like having control over someone's life from beginning to end. I like knowing exactly how the story goes--the ups and downs. The Big Black Moment and Happily Ever After---or Happily Ever After For Now.  Okay, that sounds super weird. I like having fictional control over fictional lives. I'm not (nor do I want to be) a puppet master in real life. My poor children...

It gives me a sense of calm to be able to create realistic characters who may start out broken and afraid--yet who see their worth by the end of the story. They see that they deserve to have a good life if they live a good life.

I need to look at my own life from the eyes of my characters. 

I've been so caught up--and drained--by things I can't control. Decisions made. Starting over. I've been depressed and lost, desperately searching for validation from others. I've needed the praise. I've needed someone to want me. I've lost my focus on what's most important.

The only person who will truly ever be able to give me the validation I'm looking for...is ME. Like my characters, I have to realize I have worth. Not because someone tells me I do, but because I believe it. It's not easy. But it's the only way I can move forward and make the best life for myself and my kids.

Am I smart enough? Yes.

Am I a good person? Yes.

Am I a good mom? Yes.

Am I good writer? Yes.

Validation from inside. It's not bragging. It's not being cocky. It's believing in myself.

Finally.

New series announcement

I will release the three-book MATERIAL GIRLS series in 2018.
The series, set in Charlotte, NC, follows the daughters of Harris Commons, 
the founder of a Southern department store chain.
MATERIAL GIRLS will be heartfelt and flirty, sweet and sexy -
everything readers have come to expect and enjoy from my books. 

I'm excited to blast off into this new chapter. Thank you for coming along for the ride! 

 

 























 

 























  ✨⭐️

Amazon / iBooks / Barnes & Noble / Kobo / Books-A-Million / Google Play

As some of you may know, I give the first $500 of royalties I make from each of my books to a charity that I designate before the book releases.

In light of the overwhelming need for support in the Houston area after the devastation of Hurricane Harvey, I've decided to add a charity to BREAKAWAY. I will still be donating $500 to the Charlotte Checkers Charitable Foundation, as I originally intended. 

I will also be donating $250 to the Hurricane Harvey Relief Fund set up through The Greater Houston Community Foundation.  Description of Fund:After receiving an overwhelming number of inquiries from citizens and companies who want to help, Mayor Sylvester Turner has established the Hurricane Harvey Relief Fund that will accept tax deductible flood relief donations for victims that have been affected by the recent floods. The fund will be housed at the Greater Houston Community Foundation, a 501(c)(3) public charity.

For the past four releases, I have had the opportunity to donate the FULL amount pledged after my release week. I truly hope I can do that again. 

By buying my books and supporting my career, you are also supporting organizations that help people in need. I truly appreciate every single one of you readers.

THANK YOU#bekindlovehard

 

 

Sometimes I struggle with positive thinking. Sometimes I think it’s a ridiculous lie to wake up every day and tell myself how awesome I am and how amazing life is.  

Affirmations make me laugh and remind me of that old Stuart Smalley Saturday Night Live skit. (Yes, I'm old.)  Stuart's trademark line is: "I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!" ~ Stuart Smalley

I know don’t if they do. 

I don’t know if I care that they do.

Do you ever wonder why the people who tell you to think positive and love yourself are beautiful people? Who’s gonna listen to fucking quasimodo tell us to think positive and love ourselves? That won’t sell. That’s not a brand.

And, sure, a lot of those beautiful people telling us "ugly" loners that we should think positive are that way because of their hard work. I’m absolutely not taking anything away from the hustle… 

But let’s be real: there might also be a touch of youth, genetic make up, maybe plastic surgery--I'm not hating. If I had the cash I'd do an extreme fucking makeover on my face.

Insecurities weave themselves through my thoughts constantly. Even as I try to keep a positive and motivational spirit. I can’t help it. It’s how my brain is wired. It’s why I chose the tagline: Be Kind. Love Hard. Because it’s not hard—or inauthentic—for me to be kind. I want to be kind to people. I LIKE being kind to people. I LIKE loving (certain) people with every fiber of my soul. I really do. I want other people to feel good because I’ve been in their life. I don’t know if that’s narcissistic or not. If it is, then I’ll take that title. Happily.

But being positive all the time is difficult for me.

Just the other day, a friend grilled me—in one of those awesome I-needed-this ways. And the real insecurities came out. The ones that I never admit to anyone. The ones that are still there when I strip away all the positive jargon I try to make myself believe.

Here’s how I explained it: One of the most disappointing and depressing moments in my life came after an author photo shoot I did a few years back. I got my hair done for it. I got my make-up done for it. I hired a photographer who took beautiful photos and had MAD editing skills!

And when I got the pictures, I cried. I sobbed actually. Because I tried so hard to be beautiful. I pulled out all the stops I had the power and money to use…and I looked at every photo and cried. Because even after all that effort...I was still ugly. 

I feel that same way about writing. The same friend asked me what I was afraid of in trying to get to the next stage in my career. 

My answer: I’m always afraid of putting in all the effort…writing the words, perfecting the sentences, running themes throughout, using literary devices—making it the best book I can possibly wrIte—and for it to still suck.

I’m proud of every book I’ve ever written. I like the product I release. I have grown as a writer. But every time I put a new work out there, a new piece of my soul--I still think it's not good enough.

For what? For who?

I don’t know.

I’m not looking for sympathy or attention or compliments with this post. I’m giving you the story straight out of my head. These are the battles I face every day. 

What if my next book becomes a USA Today Bestseller? Will that “validation” be the catalyst to make me feel differently?

No. I can’t stop the voices in my head. I'll always think it was a fluke. I'll think it was luck. It's not my writing. It's not all the books I've read to learn from others. It's not my creative writing degree. It's not my hard work over the last seven years of intensely studying the craft and working to be published.

So I choose positivity. I choose kindness. I choose strength. Because if I don’t, what do I have? What is there in life? What impact do I have in the grand scheme of things? I’m gonna be on this earth, live a few unimpactful years, and then die. And when I let my head go that way…who does that help?

It doesn’t help me. It doesn’t help my kids. It doesn’t help all the wonderful, beautiful, broken people who I’m so grateful to have met in my life. 

So there you go. Even after anti-anxiety medication. And motherhood. And XYZ number of books sold. There’s your glimpse into what I struggle with every day. 

I don't have the answers.

I can't save you.

You can only save yourself.

I can be here for you. I can listen. I can talk with you. I can care about you and let you know how much of an impact you have made in my life and how amazing you are as an individual. I WANT TO DO ALL OF THESE THINGS!

But I can't make you love yourself.

If you're reading this, I truly hope you don’t have these struggles. But if you do, know that you are not alone. And that every single day we have to keep pushing. Push to impact the people you come in contact with. Push to support and be kind to and LOVE the people in your life that you cherish--or that need it. Push to make your slice world a better place—because I truly believe it is, just by you being in it. I LOVE YOU LONERS!

 

Follow @missiomusic on Twitter/Facebook/IG for inspiration and motivation....and people who understand... #Loners

 

“You gotta swim

Swim for your life

Swim for the music that saves you

when you’re not so sure you’ll survive”

 

July 2002

I have no recollection of how many pills I'd swallowed.

It was at least 20--because that's how many I'd counted out for myself "to start with."

“You gotta swim
Swim when it hurts
The whole world is watching
You haven't come this far
To fall off the earth

The currents will pull you
Away from your love
Just keep your head above”

Deep down, I didn’t really want to die. But I couldn’t see a way out

from the Anger. Loneliness. Anxiety. Insecurity. Rejection. Self-Loathing.

My eyelids were heavy. My mouth dry.

With every breath, I willed myself to fall asleep, knowing it might mean I was dead.

at the same time, I feared falling asleep, because it might mean I was dead

“I found a tidal wave
Begging to tear down the dawn
Memories like bullets
They fired at me from a gun
Crack in the armor, yeah
I swim to brighter days
Despite the absence of sun
Choking on salt water
I'm not giving in
Swim”

Memories like bullets...real fucking bullets. Real fucking blood.

The horrific memory of staring out the front window of our old house in the Detroit--the one we didn't even live in anymore--

and seeing my mother's body crumpled in a pool of blood on the sidewalk.

“You gotta swim
For nights that won't end
Swim for your families,
Your lovers, your sisters,
Your brothers, and friends
You gotta swim
For wars without cause
Swim for these lost politicians
Who don't see their greed is a flaw"

Most people don’t know how to talk to others who are contemplating suicide.

They tell us we’re selfish.

They ask if we realize what it’ll do to our family.

They accuse us of doing it for attention.

And I understand--to an extent.

If you’ve never been pulled underwater from the absolute hopelessness of depression, you might think we can snap out of it.

But that’s not how our minds work.

It completely warps our brain, making it impossible to think rationally or logically at times.

At my darkest point, I could rattle off a hundred reasons why my family would be better off without me.

How could taking my own life be for attention if I was alone in my apartment?

I wore the guise of happiness in public, never showing anyone how much I hurt inside.

 

“The currents will pull us
Away from our love
Just keep your head above”

I remember lying on the bathroom floor of my apartment in Charlotte thinking…

I have tickets for a concert next week.

I don't even know what show. 

Because that's not what's important in this story.

 

“I found a tidal wave
Begging to tear down the dawn
Memories like bullets
They fire at me from a gun
Crack in the armor, yeah
I swim to brighter days
Despite the absence of sun

Choking on salt water
I'm not giving in
I'm not giving in
I swim”

I’m jolted by the memory of locking myself away in my bedroom as a kid—eyes closed, headphones on—getting lost in the music.

The lyrics. The bass line. The guitar riffs. The drum beat.

I remember how much I love the feeling of being at a live show.

And how it feels like the singer is belting out the songs just for me.

 

 “You gotta swim
Swim in the dark
There's no shame in drifting
Feel the tide shifting and wait for this spark
Yeah you gotta swim
Don't let yourself sink
Just find the horizon
I promise you it's not as far as you think”

I see the horizon.

I hear the waves against the shore.

I roll on to my stomach, grab the rim of the toilet, and pull myself onto my knees.

Then I shove two fingers down my throat, trying to bring up the pills.

 

“Currents will drag us away from our love
Just keep your head above
Just keep your head above
Swim
Just keep your head above
Swim
Just keep your head above
Swim”

I still swim.

I may falter when the dark thoughts try to seep into my head and pull me under,

but I gasp and choke and spurt, until I regain my stride.

The horizon is constantly changing.

It’s getting my kids back on Friday afternoons. It’s seeing them smile at the most mundane things we do together.

It’s starting a new book. Seeing a concert. Dinner with a friend. A trip to the beach. A drive through the mountains.

It's very hard to retrain your brain. 

But I'm trying to do that every day.

The only person who can make me feel happy – and worthy of being in this world—is ME.

I may not be remembered for anything grand in history books a hundred years from now,

but hopefully I’ll be remembered by the people I touched

with Kindness. Love. Encouragement.

And that’s good enough for me.

 

Thank you to Andrew McMahon for writing this amazing song - the lyrics I used in the post. This song was written well after the events of July 2002,

but I love the message and the strength I get from this song. I hope you do, too. Have a listen.