Brett R. Williams's Blog

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[image error]Dear Mr. Marriage,

Well i dont kno if i really want to be with my father of my child because i dont know if he want to be with me i feel like he a lier about every thing and that  he dont see  in his furture as being his lady  so what should i do about this situation?

Nakila

Dear Nakila,

So let me see if I understand your plan. You are going to reject him before he get’s a change to reject you.  Is that it?

Nakila, have you ever felt insecure or full of self doubt?  Have you ever felt unloved or unlovable?  My guess would be you have.  Well, in those times have you ever noticed that you tend to think negatively? You know you start doubting if the people in you life really care about you.  Then later when you are feeling better could you see how that was just your negative feelings talking?

This is one of those times. Because you feel like he does not want you, you are going to kick him out of your life. I don’t hear you talking about what you are feeling, or about any thoughts for your child.  You sound like you are focused on no being rejected.  Out of that fear of rejection you are going to reject him.

I am moving out of state and when I shared the news with one of my clients she went home and canceled all her future appointments.  Then she started writing me about how alone and abandoned she feels.  It’s true I am leaving but that’s a ways off.  Instead of my client giving herself the time she needed to deal with her feelings she went into self protection mode and abandoned me before I could abandon her.

Our emotions do one of two things, our feelings either protects us or it connects us.  When you are feeling hurt your emotions tell you to withdraw or push away and create distance.  That works well with strangers.  But when it comes to people we love that distance we create separates us from those we love.

I don’t know if this person is going to be a good husband or father, but you have to change your pattern and instead of pushing people you love away when you get hurt, you much learn to open up and become more vulnerable.  Being hurt by people we love requires a different response, it requires more openness and communication.

Get on the phone with one of our support staff and lets get the two of you to start talking.

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Brett  “Mr. Marriage”

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[image error]

[image error]Dear Mr. Marriage,

Well i dont kno if i really want to be with my father of my child because i dont know if he want to be with me i feel like he a lier about every thing and that  he dont see  in his furture as being his lady  so what should i do about this situation?

Nakila

Dear Nakila,

So let me see if I understand your plan. You are going to reject him before he get's a change to reject you.  Is that it?

Nakila, have you ever felt insecure or full of self doubt?  Have you ever felt unloved...

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Hi Mr Marriage,

[image error]I am so very hurt, confused and I feel abandoned. My husband is not giving me 100% of himself anymore! Everything is nonchalant and uncaring with regards to his response to me. I can only tell him how I feel and he says everything is about me. Everything is not about me but I'm trying to communicate whereas he refuses to. I don't feel loved and he's even told me that he doesn't love me the same. I don't know what to do with that. I don't know what to do with him saying he...

Hi Mr Marriage,

[image error]I am so very hurt, confused and I feel abandoned. My husband is not giving me 100% of himself anymore! Everything is nonchalant and uncaring with regards to his response to me. I can only tell him how I feel and he says everything is about me. Everything is not about me but I'm trying to communicate whereas he refuses to. I don't feel loved and he's even told me that he doesn't love me the same. I don't know what to do with that. I don't know what to do with him saying...

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[image error]Yesterday I bit Lynda's head off because she asked if I would let her know what I found out from the airlines about our vacation plans next week.

"Of course I am going to call you. Why are you asking me again?" I admit this was all said with a tone that said "You are so STUDIP to be asking me this."

I guess I got reactive because I felt she was checking on my like a child.

Luckily for both of us Lynda did not react to my upset and she gave me a few hours calm down. At that point I apologized...

Individual or Marriage Counseling, & Couple Coaching - In person, Phone, Online FREE Relationship Advice, FREE Quiz and Test , FREE Communication Videos Relationship/Marriage Education Classes Books and Date Night Deck
Dating, engaged, living together, newly married, troubled marriage, happily married, separated, divorcing, whatever your need, Help Talking will make your relationship healthy, strong, and loving. Our passion is helping you talk it through. Look through our resources and get...

December 5, 200912:00 amto10:30 am

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This seminar will be done live as well as on the internet. It will be interactive with lots of audience participation. The cost will be $25 per couple.

Have you found yourself saying the same thing over and over, or having your spouse repeat themselves again and again?  This happens when you or your spouse is not feeling heard.

During this short 90 minute class, couples will be introduced to a powerful healing tool called "hearing".  Most of us are lucky ...

Many couples do not find traditional marriage counseling to be a helpful option. Making an appointment, driving through traffic, finding a babysitter for the kids and taking time off from work can make getting to marriage counseling a challenge. In addition, the once or twice weekly appointments for marriage counseling can become costly.
And yet, relationships are difficult. Every couple faces their own set of unique challenges and difficulties. Many couples find at some time in their life...

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With all the demands of life  (kids, household chores, grocery shopping, and cooking), most women don't get time to take care of two essential element: themselves and their relationship.  Download this audio file of Brett's talk and learn God's plan for creating balance.  You will also learn along the way how to overcome the pitfalls of male and female psychology that prevent women from creating more of a balanced life.

The download is only $5, so get your copy today.

Subscribe to the...

There have been many advances in how we do marriage and relationship counseling in the last decade. A newer idea is moving away from the psychoanalytic model of therapy for couples. Most couples who enter marriage counseling are not mentally ill. They simply need help communicating. Relationship Coaching over the phone is a new idea that focuses on communication and skill development while resolving a single issue.
How does Relationship Coaching work?
First, you make appointment for phone...