C. Rae D'Arc's Blog, page 7

Oh, university life, how I missed you. I never wanted to go back to high school life, but I did want to return to university–specifically, to get my Masters in English from Cambridge. But God said no. Instead, I got married and focused on writing, so I’m not complaining.
Chapter 5 of “Don’t Date the Haunted” is a brief summary of my college life: professors with high expectations and game nights with my roommates.

Poor Pansy has it a bit rough in the beginning. Her bed’s next to the toilets, and her plumbing screams in the morning. Before you ask, I wrote the screaming walls scene based on a real experience of mine. I’m not a morning person, and I require a good couple hours to wake up. Thankfully, I didn’t break any walls.
Originally, this scene didn’t happen until the morning of the masquerade. I decided to move it earlier as part of Pansy’s wake up call to Romance.

Pansy’s focus on school was less specific until a dear writing friend did a beta read. Growing up middle class, I always expected to go to college and gave that expectation to Pansy. Then my friend explained that when you live in poverty, you don’t think about college. You’re too worried about making it day to day. Reflecting on a time in my life when I was without a home, job, and school, yeah, I didn’t even see the point in general hygiene. That was my inspiration for Pansy’s life in Horror. She was raised in orphanages and foster care, surviving day to day . . . until Sean. Sean (being a native Romantic with professor parents) was the reason Pansy made goals beyond graduation from high school. I have so much to say about this pivotal decision that I’m writing a complete story around Pansy’s experiences with Sean (a prequel short-story to “Don’t Date the Haunted”).

Back to classes, Pansy’s official schedule looks like this:

Mon, Wed, Fri classesTues, Thurs classNutrition 3010 @ 9AMLatin 1020 @ 11AMNursing 2270 @ 10AMNovel History 1501 @ noon

Her Nutrition and Latin classes are each 4 credits, so she had a 14 credit schedule. Hank’s tip that “grinning disheveled professors love their subjects” was actually a golden nugget from my mom. I found it true during my time at university.

As for dorm life, I had the best roommates to glean from experience. We didn’t have weekly luncheons, but my roommates sometimes shared their bounties. This was nice, because I couldn’t cook to save my life.

We also had regular game nights.
We’d invite boys over from nearby apartments to play “States,” “Fruit Basket,” and sometimes “Baby, I Love You” (if certain boys attended). Some of my favorites were Mafia (the Werewolf game before it became official) and Ninja (our name for the turn-based game of hand-tag).

Being at BYU (the nation’s #1 Most Sober University), we never had alcohol and kept the strict midnight curfew (1 AM on Friday nights). We proved every night that we didn’t need alcohol or drugs to have a blast. We also took our activities outside (even in the snow) if midnight was too early to say goodbye. This lifestyle is one reason why I gave Pansy the sober background from her parents. I also snitched the standard from my family history. My grandpa was once an abusive alcoholic, leaving my mom with no desire for the stuff.

It’s not in Pansy’s character to tell everybody about her “tragic life story,” so I had Truth Locke tell it for her. Truth is actually a bigger character in my head than she is here. She’s technically based off of a character I created in “The Sims.” Yes, as in the FIRST “The Sims.” Her mother was a gypsy-style character, who was my first Sim to learn every magical ability, spell, and potion (from the expansion “Makin’ Magic”). One of those spells was to turn her pet dog into a person. That dog was named Shasta, and Shasta was the base for Truth.

Not exactly like this, but…pretty much.

Truth Locke had her own Private Investigator novel brewing four years before I even thought of Pansy Finster. I even based a D&D character off of her (high elf, rogue, Inquisitive archetype with Observant Feat). I still hope to write her story someday.

In case you didn’t catch it (because it might not be understood during a first read-through), I’ll explain Theo’s glance between Emma and Hank, then confusion at Pansy. As Pansy suspected, yes, he did know what happened between Emma and Hank at that moment: love at first sight. He knew, because he’d witnessed it before with his eldest cousin, and recently experienced it himself . . . for Pansy. But not with Pansy. His love at first sight was one-sided, leaving him confused and a little discouraged that Pansy didn’t instantly feel a connection with him. Hence the “touch of sorrow” in his eyes.

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As one of Michaelbrent Collings’ beta readers, I got to read his upcoming book, “Stranger Danger!” Most of Collings’ other books are stand-alones, and while this one can be enjoyed on its own, I suggest reading “Stranger Still” before jumping into this one. “Stranger Still” will make you want to read “Strangers,” so you might as well start there with book 1.
I did a review on “Stranger Still” (book 2) to explain why it’s one of my favorite horrors and why I was so excited for this book.

Quick intro to the characters:

Legion is Batman, but with hallucinations of his dead brothers (who bicker like siblings). Officer Garcia is Commissioner Gordon, but without the influence and with a “problem child.” The Brotherhood of the Wolf is the League of Assassins, but they’re Nazi/KKK gangsters, and Wolf only thinks he’s Raz Al Gul.
I think the Batman analogies are particularly applicable since Officer Garcia openly questions if Legion is Batman, and on the last book by Michaelbrent Collings, he labeled himself as “#1 Bestseller, Guru, Spiritual Leader, Guiding Light (and Never Seen in the Same Room as Batman).”
. . . If that gives you any indication to the author’s humor, his books are full of bits like that.

With the main villains involving racial gangs, there is a lot of racism in this book. So much to the point that Mr. Collings includes an author’s note that condemns racism. As with most of his books, the reader sees into the twisted, broken, evil minds of the villains to explain how they are the heroes of their own twisted, broken, and evil story. But that’s the nice part about horror; the evil racists get their comeuppance.

Cleanliness vs. Vulgarity

Speaking of consequences for their actions, this would be rated PG-13 purely for its cursing and violence. The are a couple sexual comments, but only a couple, and only comments.
The crude language is expected when dealing with gangsters. It isn’t excessive though. Mostly d*mn and h*ll. Otherwise, maybe a curse every fifteen pages. There are 4 almost f-bombs, where the speakers are cut off before dropping. No full f-bombs.
As for the violence, there are a couple fist fights, knife fights, torture, and a full massacre–that happens off screen. Interestingly enough, one of the most poetic scenes in the book is during a smaller massacre from a perspective that’s so drugged, he’s lost all sense of self.

The plot of “Stranger Danger” is relatively predictable…until the epilogue. This isn’t “The Forest,” where you’re anticipating a twist, then you get one plus three more during the building climax of revelations and terrors. It’s very similar to “Stranger Still,” where you know Legion is superhumanly fast and strong, but his foes are too, so the question is whether or not he can truly win a fight against them.
Still, the biggest points of tension are actually between Officer Garcia and her son…and then the epilogue.

If you don’t want to end on a crazy plot-twisting cliff-hanger, don’t read the epilogue until the next book comes out. Yes, there will be another book. This is not a trilogy.

The characters are so interesting, and the setting felt all too real for me (seriously, I went into some super shady places while searching for people to teach about faith and repentance in Christ–including a place that could be the film set for Tree City, the Downs, and even the Den). Unfortunately, the plot was rather linear and predictable…until the crazy twist in the epilogue.
That doesn’t mean that I didn’t enjoy it. Maybe it’s because I’m a romantic, but I really enjoyed the two most “boring” chapters that included Legion hijacking a date to talk over some drinks. Yep. In essence, Legion goes on a date. He buys her drinks, and they ask each other questions about their secretive pasts. Of course, it’s hilarious because Legion’s dead brothers give commentary, and it’s also touching (seriously, my eyes got wet) as she talks about the love she felt for her family.

For all that, I give it *****4.7 stars****

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

This book will be released on Amazon on Dec. 21st.

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Now that you’ve been introduced to the lands of Horror and Romance, chapter four brings in some of my favorite characters from the lands of Fantasy, Mystery, Sci-Fi, and Western.

As I mentioned in chapter 3’s Behind the Scenes, Brooke is based off one of my actual roommates. The real Brooke introduced me to Muse and all the Tim Burton films; we dressed up in costumes for everyday dances, movie showings, and just for fun around the apartment. We shared brainstorming conversations such as “Zombie Rights” and “Twisted:” a story where Rapunzel’s hair had a dark mind of its own. I made her a Sci-Fian because she liked to wear the coolest steam-punk/vintage clothes. Also, I wanted more characters from more places.

This is also the chapter where we meet Hank and Theo. Though the exact dialogue has changed through revisions, the actions of this scene are very similar to how I initially imagined them. Hank was always a flirty Westerner who bordered on the side of smutty Romance. He’s the shirtless cowboy on the cover of every Western romance novel. In that way, he’s the perfect match for Emma.
Theo was always “The Trusted” with the same interchangeable blue-green eyes, dark brown hair, and contagious smile as my husband. Yep, I modeled Theo after my husband. Gag at will, and be jealous. The parts about Theo that changed mostly concerned his homeland, status, and ability. Initially, his ability wasn’t to see auras. Even when I first made that change, they didn’t work as they do now. I’ll have a lot more to say on that in chapter 10.

For now you’ll have to settle with the fact that Theo was always immediately interested in Pansy, though it wasn’t always with Love at First Sight. Even still, it’s mostly because of her unique aura. This means his first words to her used to be much more awkward. They went as follows:

“Good evening, m’lady.  I am Theodore Fromm, the Trusted, but m’lady may call me Theo.”
I held back a sarcastic laugh.  “The Trusted?”  Well, thank you for telling me who not to trust.
… … …
“You are a curiosity to me, m’lady,” he said.  “I would like the opportunity to become acquainted with you.”
Um, yeah, that was awkward.  Unsure how to respond, I simply said, “Hmm,” and slipped my hand from his.

Can you feel the awkward?
If you didn’t notice, I first spelled “Theodore” with an E at the end. I later changed it when Theo’s background became less English and more Germanic.
Theo also changed status a couple times. At first, he was just an ambiguous Fantasy noble. Then I made him a Count, and he was still a Count as I finished writing the third book. Problem was that his dad was always Duke Conrad (changed spelling to the Germanic “Konrad” later). Yay for being from The United States and needing to actually research to understand royalty lines and titles. Even if it’s in my own Fantasy land within the fantasy world of Novel, I wanted Theo’s dad to be a duke, which meant Theo was either the eldest marquis, or a lord of the duchy. I bounced back and forth on his status until finishing my fourth revision of Book 2. Then I had to change Marcellette’s name because it used to be Marquise. I changed it to avoid any confusion between Marquise’s bratty character and the Marquis of Margen title (which becomes a big deal in Book 2–and if you don’t know how, finish the book, then read the sneak peek to Book 2 here!)

The Voices in My Head





Aloy’s voice is the narrator through this trailer – starting at 0:27.
Also, holy flip, these graphics are beautiful! I’ll watch my husband play it.

Now that you’ve met all the characters (except Mr. E and Jake), here’s how I imagine their voices:
Pansy Finster:  her Horror accent is hushed. I’m actually going to use a phrase from Book THREE to give Theo’s words; Pansy’s accent is “as if everything is as dangerous as a dragon, and as exciting as taxes.” I imagine her voice to be very similar to the main character (Aloy) of Horizon: Zero Dawn.

Theodor Fromm:  Margen is the Grimm’s side of Fairy Tale.  As a royal, I imagine his accent like a German speaking Queen’s English.  Theo never uses contractions, or the word “but.” He does, however, use the word “just” liberally. He’s a politician after all.
Mr. E: Mysterys speak with the inflections of questions. Even when it’s not a question, his tone is demanding and firm as if he’s interrogating. Since inflection is difficult to convey in writing, I made most of Mr. E’s comments actual questions.
Heather Appleton: British countryside (like, Bath area). She also doesn’t use contractions.
Emma Morales: valley girl, dumb blonde. I can say this, because I used to speak like this.
Hank Hawkins: as a Western, he has a southern drawl.

Last Easter Egg of chapter 4: if you wondered who those once-mentioned Romantic Horrors are, they are references to “Twilight” characters. Paranormal Romances are Horrors in Romance or Romantics in Horror, so we get name drops of Tyler and Isabella–who was just out of high school and taken by a Haunting for love. If you’re wondering, yes, I’ve read all the books even though I wanted to stop in the middle of the third one because of the sexual tension (this was long before I read “House of Leaves”). I have not seen all the movies for the same reason.
But just for fun . . . I killed all five of these Romantic Horror characters in my first draft. Yep. They all died as the poltergeist’s first victims in Romance. More on that in chapter 15.
Next up: Heartford University and the game night!

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While chapter 2 had the most additions, chapter 3 had some of the most alterations. When I first wrote the scenes of Pansy meeting her roommates, all ten of them were gathered in a circle and gave their introductions one after the other. It was absolutely terrible. There were too many characters all at once. To show empathy for the reader, Pansy also forgot their names before the circle was halfway through. Yeah, I’m also glad I found a better way to introduce them all.

I wish I could memory wipe those who read my first two drafts.

If you remember from Chapter 2’s Behind the Scenes, Pansy originally had two extra roommates. I actually wanted Pansy to be one of thirteen (just because), but ten was already too many minor characters under the same roof.
One of the many reasons I wrote this whole book was to express the fun I had with my college roommates. I seriously won the lottery of awesome roommates. We shared countless inside jokes, wall quotes, and memories.

One roommate was my bridesmaid and is still my best friend. (“My name is Robyn, and I am awesome.”) She read “Don’t Date the Haunted” 2.5 times before it was published and came up with the title. The only issue with her reading the book was that she tried to predict which of Pansy’s roommates represented our real-life roommates.
As I told her many times, I’m telling you all now:

Emma and Marcellette are not based on anyone I know in real life.

As for the others, they all had muses who share LIMITED qualities. This was a book about poking fun of the stereotypes and tropes, so I simplified and exaggerated my awesome friends. (Except Tiffany’s muse was the Barbie doll.) Asher and Ruby very lightly represented my freshman roommates, Tracie and Deborah. Brooke and Heather actually share names with my senior-year roommates. I used their direct names because they were lovable main-ish characters and straight up good people. The two characters I cut were based off Chelsea (instead, I put a couple of her qualities in Brooke’s character), and Sydney White (yep, from the 2007 live-action Snow White with Amanda Bynes).

Between the third and fourth drafts, I wrote an alternate version to this chapter. This one alternate scene would have taken the place of Pansy’s roommate introductions, the International Club meeting, AND the game night hang out. The most obvious reason I didn’t use it is because I couldn’t find a reason to put Pansy on a horse. Also, as awesome as her stunt is, it was difficult to believe. Lastly, I needed to do a LOT more research on horses to satisfy all the horse lovers out there. So, it didn’t make the cut, but I’ll post it here as a special treat! I still think it might work better if the book was ever turned into a film, because it quickens the beginning set up and has a lot more action.

Also, this alternative would have cut Brooke’s character (which would have made me sad).

Without further ado, here is the unedited Alternate Intro to Hank and Theo

Enter the scene of Pansy, Heather, and Emma
walking to the campus horse stables, track, and grazing grounds.

Emma tossed her hair back into a quick ponytail. “I want to learn how to race.  I want to be the first woman to win the men’s competitions.”
I snorted to myself.  Did she really think she could master the sport of competitive racing without years of training?
Miss Appleton pursed her lips. “They do not allow women into the men’s competitions. That is why they are titled such.”
“Psh, sexists,” Emma scoffed. “I bet I could put my hair up and pretend to be a guy.  Then I’ll reveal myself when they hand me the trophy.”
The scenario seemed unlikely, though I wasn’t the one to burst someone’s bubble of imagination.  With no one to stop her, Emma rambled, “The hardest part would be hiding my shapely figure and dressing like a dude.  Then I bet I’d fall in love with one of the jocks, but I couldn’t tell him, and a girl might hit on me.  My reveal would be totally dramatic, and the man I love would be like, ‘Whatever you are, I love you back,’–OMG, I just planned the rest of my life.  Can we make this happen?”
Miss Appleton tapped her chin, like she actually considered the insanity.  “Where would you make your transformations?  In the men’s changing rooms you would risk your identity as you entered or left as a woman.  Perhaps at home, though you would risk rumors of a certain young man leaving our dormitory on a regular basis.”
The two Romantics continued to babble about the ridiculous possibilities while I stepped ahead to walk in front.  Most people would follow behind, but they were too distracted by their conversation to notice if I was abducted or attacked from behind.  I remained aloof of their discussion though. Pretending to be someone else sounded like a dumb way to make enemies.
Thankfully, the equestrian fields were near.  They were also massive.  The oval track was half a mile around, and five acres were dedicated to fields for grazing and practice.  The stables were large enough to hold a dozen horses, though only half of them were currently in use.  I fell behind again as we entered the stables.  The stench of hay and manure was pungent.
Horses.  Such weird creatures.  Magnificent and terrifying, it was a wonder of the world that some person in ancient history decided to climb on its back.  Sounds of snorts and restlessness bounced through the stables, like prisoners jeering guards for a chance to escape to the wilds.  These were supposed to be trained and tame, but I knew from experience that even humans could turn wild.
Miss Appleton shrieked, causing me to look around myself.  Seeing that she caught my attention, she stepped closer to me to conspire.  “See the cloak with the strong colors and emblem?  A lord or noble is here.  I wonder which one is he?”
Her hands quivered with excitement.  Or at least, I figured it was excitement.  Why did it matter if there was a noble here?  As a Contemporary of Horror, my knowledge about hierarchies and titles was limited to portrayals on TV and the news.  That left me worried if we were allowed to be here while people of “higher standing” occupied the stables.
While Miss Appleton sought the royal for swooning, I kept a look out to better avoid them.  There was a small group of people in rich clothing fawning over a massive steed.   I figured to steer away from them.  Instead, I approached two men who chatted amiably inside the stables.  One was large with dusty brown hair and eyes to match.  His shirtless body boasted the build of someone who worked hard on a ranch.  The other man was lean with dark brown hair and an easy smile.  He wore a loose white long-sleeve, dark blue tunic, and knee-high black boots.  All of which were dusty and flecked with dirt.
Miss Appleton approached them first and greeted them with a small dip of a curtsy.  “Young sirs, how do you do?”
They each responded with courteous nods.  The shirtless one said, “Dandy,” while the dark haired one said, “Fine.  May we assist you–?”
His question cut short as his eyes met mine.  He stared with such awe that I wondered what was wrong.  I checked behind myself to ensure I wasn’t blocking the real person of his interest.  No one there.
“Theo,” the shirtless man nudged the dazed one, “do you see what I see?”
The staring man named Theo broke his gaze from me and turned to his friend. “Sorry?  What do you see?”
“Three beautiful women in need of assistance,” he drawled with eyes only for Emma.
The dazed man gave the shirtless a disapproving frown. “Hank.”
“Don’cha worry,” Hank said, waving his hand at Theo while continuing to stare at Emma.  A sly grin raised one side of his mouth.  “You girls wanna ridin’ lesson?”
“Your accent,” Emma said.  “Are you from Western?”
“Born an’ raised.  I’ve been takin’ care of horses all my life.  Same with Theo here, but the horses did more of takin’ care of him.”  Hank teased him with another nudge in the ribs, breaking Theo’s stare in my direction again.
“What training do you have?” Theo asked.
Since I had no experience, I let Miss Appleton speak first.
“I know how to ride side-saddle, and have even driven the cart a few times.”
Hank sauntered up to the nearest beast and stroked its neck. “Well, it’s different bein’ on top of the horse.  They’re beautiful creatures that need to be touched with lovin’ and firm hands.”
What should have been innocent and instructive became sensual as Hank smoldered at Emma.  She swayed closer like a moth drawn to a light.
Hoping to break whatever spell he had on my hopeless roommate, I jumped in.  “Maybe I should go first.”
My relief in capturing Emma’s attention was brief.  Condemnation, what was I doing?
Theo stepped forward, a little too eager.  “May I assist you?  Miss–?”
“Finster,” I said.  “Pansy Finster.”
A smile began to raise his cheeks before he bent in a low bow. “Pleased to meet you, Miss Pansy.  Would you like some assistance?”
Not really, except, “I’ve never been on a horse.”
“Never?”
“I prefer to stand on my own two feet.”
He laughed, and something familiar stirred in me, but I couldn’t tell what.  “In that case,” he said, then drifted off to shuffle awkwardly.
Hank laughed and came to his rescue. “You’re too proper, Theo, let me handle this.  I’ll saddle up Miss Patches, and you can ride in front.”
For some reason, Theo squirmed, looking as uncomfortable as I felt about the arrangement.  “I can’t use my own horse?” I asked.
Hank opened his mouth to answer, but Theo cut him off, “She may, if we hold the reins.”
Hank shrugged, then handed the reins of Miss Patches to Theo.

I left a gap here because this was the unsolvable issue with this scene. Pansy wouldn’t have mounted. She would have broken away and convinced Heather and Emma to return home with her. I hoped to solve this issue later (if I liked the scene enough to keep), so I kept writing, assuming she was on the horse by herself with Theo and Hank beside for instructions.

“Now give her a friendly kick.  Not too hard.”
I lifted my feet slightly then pinched them back.
“Harder than that,” Theo chuckled.  “Horses can sense your fear, and they will not listen to a master whom lacks confidence.”
I raised my feet again, then felt the horse shift.  Like something pinched its buttocks, the horse flinched and tensed its muscles, starting in the hind quarters, then waving upward until I felt it in its neck.
That was the only warning I had.
The reins seemed too flimsy and loose for support.  I lunged myself around the horse’s neck as it reared on its hind legs.  Then it bolted.
“Curses,” Theo swore.
My horse ran and gained speed like a freight train.  I dared a glance back at my friends, already too far away, as Theo threw himself onto a horse with swift grace.  He commanded his horse and charged after me.  I buried my face into my horse’s neck until a voice startled me.
“Fine day for a ride?” Theo grinned at me, a little worried and unsure.  His horse was neck to neck with mine.
I stared at him like a loon.  Hank came up on my other flank, swinging a lasso.  Seriously. A lasso.  I felt like I was in a movie playing Cowboys and Indians.
“Hank!  Stow it!” Theo shouted at his friend.  “The risk is too great with her on the back.”
I squeezed my eyes tight as our horses reached the edge of the field.  My horse turned away from Theo’s to ride the perimeter.  He cursed again as his horse fell behind.  It was another couple seconds before he was beside me again.
“Miss Patches will calm down as you will, now talk to me, Miss Pansy.  What of your family?  Will you tell me about them?”
There was no way I could talk casually during this ride on the crazy train. I shouted over the thundering hooves, “They’re dead!”
“Excuse me?”
Yeah, I doubted that was the response he expected.  He probably expected some story about my brother pushing me on a swing-set.  No, that wasn’t my life.  “My dad got drunk and killed my mom!  Then he shot himself from the regret!”
“Are you serious?”
I was surprised by the pain in his voice, though it was nothing to match my own.
“Then Oz died two years ago, and I still don’t know how!  Then Sean–“
“Forgive me,” he said in a rush, “forget I asked.  Please, just relax your grip on the horse.”
Lost in my painful past, I subconsciously gripped the horse’s neck more firmly.  “I can’t, I’ll fall off!”
“I promise, you will not.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” I mumbled, quoting my brother.  What would Oz do?  He would escape.  Theo was still talking, trying to calm down me or the horse.  Neither of us listened.  I shuffled my feet out of their holders, but pinched the horse’s sides with my knees.  Next I slid my hands down the horse’s neck to hold my saddle.
“Miss Pansy!  What are you doing!?”
“I’m getting off this crazy animal.”
“Hold on, the worst is over!  Let Miss Patches run her course, and she will eventually slow!”
I didn’t want to wait for “eventually.” I steadied my feet in a solid crouch on the saddle.
“Miss Pansy!  Are you mad!?”
I measured the rhythm of the horse’s movements, the bouncing up and down.  Up-down-up-down–jump!
My legs sprang from my crouch with the extra bounce of the horse.  It was easier than jumping off the napper-van from my youth.
With a harsh bend, I swung into a backflip, angling and preparing my feet for landing as I’ve done many times before.  The dirt ground was more solid and less even than the pool or trampoline I used for practice. My ankle twisted and landed me on my bottom.
If you fall down, get back up.
I rolled to my feet and dashed back to the stables.  Emma met me ten feet away.
“What.  Was.  That!?”
Miss Appleton likewise stared at me in astonishment.  “Did you jump off that horse?”
“Yes,” I muttered, and quickly ducked through the fence to put a barrier between myself and the animals.
Emma gaped like I’d won the lottery. “That was awesome!  Can you teach me to do that!?”
“I’m never getting on a horse again,” I said.  I gripped the rails to steady my shaking, and began a breathing exercise.
The men were on their way back, the crazed horse trotted between them in a noose held by Hank.  Theo rushed his horse ahead to stop suddenly in front of me, kicking dust up to my knees.
“Was this a set-up?” he demanded.
“What–?”
“How many times have you practiced with that horse?” he asked.  “You had us worried over nothing?”
To my surprise, Miss Appleton defended me.  “Miss Finster only arrived from Horror today.  This was our first time meeting these horses.”
“Horror?” Theo blinked and stared at me, even more confused.  “I suppose that explains your accent, though not your ability to master such a stunt on your first try.”
I held back my scoff.  My accent?  He spoke like a Regent from another world.
“That was my first and last time on a horse,” I confirmed.  “But when I was 12, I had to jump from a car on a freeway as it drove me to a human trafficking site.  I broke my leg that time, so I’ve practiced in case I had to escape a high-speed vehicle again.  Looks like I did.”
Silent stares.
Hank was the first to break into laughter. “The first thin’ to learn about ridin’ a horse is how to fall.  Girl, you got it nailed!”
Theo’s temper simmered, but he mumbled to the side, “The jump was an unnecessary hazard to herself and the horse.  If she waited just a minute longer, then Miss Patches would have calmed enough for a secure dismount.”
His bitterness in my escape route made me defensive.  I survived, didn’t I?  Was that not a success?  “You didn’t say a ‘minute,’ you said ‘eventually.’  I didn’t want to be stuck on that mustang until nightfall.  And who’s to say your method was better than mine?”
Theo’s mouth twitched into a smirk.  “Allow me to introduce myself properly.”  He swung off his horse with such ease my stomach twisted with jealousy.  Two steps took him to the lord’s cloak, which he promptly swept onto his shoulders.  Miss Appleton gasped with a small hiccup.  Theo then lowered himself into a gallant bow, throwing his cloak in such a way that it miraculously stayed above the ground.
“Lord Theodor Fromm, The Trusted, of Margen, second son of Duke Konrad Fromm, The Horse, of Margen: Fairy, Fantasy.”
He raised himself to meet my eyes with a well deserved smirk.  I clamped my mouth shut from biting back.  I was already made a fool here.  No dignity could be regained by mocking his title of “The Trusted.”  It confirmed that I definitely would not trust him.
My tongue was unschooled as I snipped, “Then excuse the orphaned peasant who’s only trying to survive.”  I turned my heel and marched back to my apartment alone.

The following would have been added to the cathedral date:

Theodor meandered his way over to me. “Miss Pansy.  Forgive me for my misunderstanding at the stables.  I thought you a damsel in distress, then you most expertly removed yourself.  I felt deceived and spoke harshly.”
“I’m sorry I made you worry, but if there’s one thing I can do, it’s take care of myself.”
I made to walk away, but he grabbed my wrist to keep me. “Please.”
He snapped his hand back like I’d burned him.  Then why did my skin still tingle where he’d touched me?
“Miss Pansy, I have seen the worst in some people–” I mindfully doubted he saw worse than I had “–who deceive for attention or to accomplish their own goals of wickedness.  An honest woman is hard to find, and I hope we may learn to trust each other.”
He seemed sincere.  I replied with a small nod.  “Trust comes with time and experience.”
His mouth quirked into a smile. “Then I look forward to sharing more time and experiences with you.  In the meantime, I do not suggest you try horseback riding again without supervision, regardless of your impressive dismounting.”
I shrugged. “This date thing is supposed to be pretty harmless.”  But somehow I knew the disasters were only beginning.

While I enjoyed the action and cutting to the chase (literally), I couldn’t make it work. Let me know your thoughts and impressions in the comments section, then join me next week for chapter 4’s behind the scenes intro to Brooke, Hank, and Theodor!

This is BOOK FOUR of the Stormlight Archive, so if you haven’t read the first three, I highly recommend them. Also, if you haven’t read them, don’t be surprised if this review confuses you. You can check out my review on books 1&2 here and book 3 here!

Again, I highly recommend this series. These books have absorbed my Harry Potter fanaticism. Seriously, I’m an Edgedancer, and my husband and I bought the swag with the leather-bound edition of “Way of Kings,” AKA: the most successful book on Kickstarter, and most expensive books we own.
With that in mind, please note that “Oathbringer” wasn’t my favorite (for reasons explained in my review).

Okay, LAST warning. SPOILERS to books 1-3 ahead.

Do NOT continue if you haven’t read them (and if you have any appreciation for epic fantasy or well-written deeply-thought-out stories, then I HIGHLY recommend at least the first two books).

Considering how book 3 ended, I was a little nervous about this one. I mean, after all the depressing revelations about the first desolation, Kaladin failed to say the words and he couldn’t kill Amaram (he totally could have, but for some reason Rock had to do it), Adolin felt pretty useless except for learning Maya’s name, and I never expected Dalinar to replace all of his Bridge Four body guards with Szeth of all people . . . and . . . I shipped Kaladin and Shallan. Obviously, I was disappointed there.

Mostly, I’ve noticed a cycle of the characters in this series. In book 1, many of them started tethered, trapped, or lost. In book 2, they all gained freedom in one sense or another and were able to develop themselves. Then, in book 3, they were each hit hard with something that trapped them again. (I wrote about this in greater depth in my review for “Oathbringer”).

In “Rhythm of War,” they begin in that trapped state. After books 1-3 taking place in a matter of months, suddenly, it’s a year later. And everything still sucks. But then there’s nowhere to go but up, right?

Warning: this book made me cry. Keep scrolling for vague spoilers: No, it wasn't in chapter 106. I cried in chapter 108. I think I have a sensitivity to sibling relationships.

The various plots in “Rhythm of War” continued as I expected (which was nice), but they resolved in ways I didn’t expect (which was even better). From the ending of “Oathbringer,” Shallan and Kaladin have serious mental traps to hurdle before they could continue to their fourth ideal. (Apparently the only person who said the fourth ideal was the queen.)

Each book explores the past of a different person, and this book includes the past of Eshonai and Venli. Most of the past scenes simply open the perspectives of incidents we already know about from Gavalar’s contacts, his assassination, and the lead up to the Everstorm. However, there are some details that clarify Venli’s past and current decisions that I hadn’t expected.

I think Prof. Sanderson handled well the sensitive situations of depression, PTSD, drug abuse, and intellectual disability. Of course, every person’s situation is different, so it’s impossible to say what’s best, but considering Roshar’s limited medical knowledge on mental health, I love the work that Kaladin begins.
After Adolin’s awesome moment with Maya in “Oathbringer,” I expected something to grow out of that. What happened in that growth was a nice surprise. It’s not as far as I thought, but we’ve yet to see what happens when Adolin leaves Shadesmar

A couple things I did not expect:

Hoid has a relationship, and we learn more about his past. Oh, and of all his stories to Kaladin, this book’s story was my favorite.

This is a dog, Kaladin. They’re fluffy and loyal and wonderful.

Wit, “Rhythm of War,” chapter 80
Apparently, Wit’s a dog person. I happened to be rubbing my dog’s belly while reading this chapter.

Again, I was surprised by how the various plots were resolved, such as the exact words for certain ideals. They weren’t what I expected, but they made sense (the best kind of surprise).
Not to mention the surprise plots of hostilities in Urithiru, Navani working as a scholar and her notes that become “The Rhythm of War,” and Adolin and Shallan going to Shadesmar again.
Also, there’s an entire Part without the perspectives of Adolin nor Shallan. Oddly enough, this didn’t bother me as much as the entire Part in “Oathbringer” without anything from Kaladin’s perspective.
Then, not all Fuzed are the embodiment of evil. This last fact, I think, will cause the most interest when moving into book 5.

“Design!” Wit said, turning on her. “What did I tell you about spoiling the ending of stories!”

“Rhythm of War,” chapter 80

Overall, a solid 5 stars. I rank it equal to the first book and higher than the third, though “Words of Radiance” is still my favorite. Then again, I still need to finish reading “Dawnshard,” before I re-read this (which I definitely want to do). Hmm, is it possible to give 5.25 stars?

Rating: 5 out of 5.






My Predictions for Book 5: This section contains spoilers for “Rhythm of War.” Read at your own risk.

First of all, its acronym will be KOW. Since so much of Alethi poetry revolves around palindromes, it only makes sense when the other titles are “Way of Kings,” “Words of Radiance,” “Oathbringer,” and “Rhythm of War.” In case you didn’t catch it, it goes:
WoK WoR O RoW . . .
So, naturally, book 5 will be KoW. Or Brandon Sanderson missed on a perfect opportunity.
I recall hearing that it’ll focus on Szeth’s past.

Okay, then we end with TEN DAYS. WHAT!?!? So, either ALL of book 5 takes place in a matter of TEN DAYS OR . . . the challenge will take part at the end of Part 1, and Odium is going to win. So then the heroes are left scrambling to make things right until the end of the book, which might involve another shard coming to Roshar. Maybe the shard of “Warbreaker,” since we’ve seen Zahel, Azure, Nightblood, and Wit’s “breath” powers.
I’m expecting the latter because it’s more epic, and the chapter headings of Part 5 are about the first of the ten days. The characters know about “off worlders,” and if they must bind Odium, that means some of the other shards might not be “bound” . . . and can therefore come to Roshar. ??

I have no idea, that’s just my theory. Please feel free to drop your own theories in the comments!

PS.
Speaking of Alethi poems, this book reveals the Alethi alphabet and how it’s used to create glyphs. So, of course I had to create a glyph for my family of “Smith.”

[image error]

Happy Thanksgiving (yesterday), and Happy Black Friday-That’s-Actually-Been-Black-November! Almost all my family and friends put up Christmas decorations the week after Halloween, so . . . what Thanksgiving? I work at a bookstore too, so we’ve been listening to “Joy to the World” since November 1st.
In any case, NaNoWriMo is almost done! Congratulations to those who have already finished! Keep it going to those who are almost done! And Don’t give up to those who fell far behind! I’m in that third category myself, but I’m still happy with what I’ve accomplished this month.

I found this on Medium.com and thought it was brilliant.



Now, about Chapter Two!

There’s so much to say about chapter 2, which used to be part of chapter 1. Yep, chapter 2 was half its current size, and that was with a deleted scene.

Originally, I didn’t give any details about the Horror Zone airport. Pansy wasn’t stopped by their version of the TSA or the Hauntings Examination. I don’t think Caroline and Gretta even had names. I wanted to get Pansy to Romance as fast as possible, so she initially arrived at the end of chapter 1, then met ALL her roommates AND international friends before the end of chapter 2.
Now you know why my chapters were so long and needed to be cut in half.

However, all my editors and readers wanted to know more about Horror. The best way to show the contrast between Horror and Romance was to let you see Horror for yourself (not just through Pansy’s memories/perspective). The thing is, I’m a pantser. I prefer the term “Discovery Writer” because I discover the story as I write it. Writing this chapter forced me to really put myself into the world of Novel, to look around and discover it with all five senses. If I may say, I really enjoy the additions to this chapter and how they built the world of Novel.

So what happened before the changes? Pansy stopped by Heartford University’s administration building to have her student ID printed off. The only point of the scene was to mention Pansy’s birthday and show the second set of awkward interactions between Pansy and Romantics.
Now, you might wonder,

When is Pansy’s birthday?

Good question, and since you’re awesome enough to read these Behind the Scenes posts, I’ll announce it to the public here for the FIRST time:

Pansy’s birthday is Oct. 30th. She’s a Scorpio, age 19 at the beginning of “Don’t Date the Haunted,” and a couple days away from turning 20 at the end of the book.

They say to write what you know…

I based the International Airport of Inferno, Horror, on my hometown airport. I live in the Tri-Cities of Washington state, and we have an airport . . . with six gates, one concession stand with snacks and travel accessories, and one driveway for all drop offs and pick ups. We don’t get fancy international planes here though. We get friggin’ propeller planes.
If you can’t tell, I grew up in a suburb bigger than these Tri-Cities combined, and I’m a definite city-girl. That’s one reason why I go into such details for the city of Heartford, Romance.

A few of my friends have mentioned that Heartford University reminds them of Brigham Young University. Well, that’s where I graduated. In full honesty though, BYU is the epitome of a clean Romance university (not New Adult erotica). At BYU, we joked about “ring by spring,” “BYUIdo,” and catching blatant PDA (public displays of affection) on campus. We had a couple dances like the masquerade, clubs for any type of group, and activities every weekend (if you knew where to look).
Of course, a huge part of the college experience is the roommates, and I’ll share more about that next chapter.

“If we give it all, reaching for our goals, they will reach back to-ward us, till right before our eyes, they crystallize!”

One part that remained pretty much the same (despite all the edits around it) was the scene with the old man and Pansy’s internal scrutiny of the word “toward.” I’ve only heard “to-ward” with two syllables in one place (countless times), and it threw me for a serious loop as I reconsidered the word as if hearing it for the first time. Hearing it that one time (and repeated weekly) inspired the entire scene between Pansy and the old man. Where did I hear it over and over? In a song called “Crystallize,” by Gentri, which we kept on our playlist at work to advertise their upcoming local concert.

“Take this weapon forged in darkness, some see a pen, I see a harpoon.”
“I’ll stay awake, ’cause the dark’s not taking prisoners tonight.”

Speaking of music, this chapter has a theme song. Every time I hear “Ode to Sleep,” by Twenty One Pilots, I think of this chapter. During the rap verses, I imagine Pansy in the International Airport of Inferno. Then she’s in the plane flying as the song sings the bridge. During the pop-style chorus, she’s walking wide-eyed and culture-shocked through Romance. I actually used this song as a muse when writing the rap that Pansy sings in the shower (chapter 13).

Can I tell you a secret? Okay, it’s not a super secret because a few people know, but definitely not more than ten. That’s right, I’m about to reveal the secrets behind “Don’t Date the Haunted,” chapter ONE!

Chapter one was originally everything that happened in chapters one AND two. Well, okay, not everything, because I added a LOT to the updated Chapter two (I’ll tell you about it next week).
Also, the first time I drafted “Don’t Date the Haunted,” it was a total of eleven chapters. Yep. Not twenty as they are now. (They were super long chapters.)

It may not be surprising that Oz’s Haunting Survival Book was one of the first parts I wrote. However, I didn’t write it as chapter headings as they are now. Originally, I researched a whole bunch of thoughts/notes/suggestions about what not to do in a horror story to world-build the land of Horror. Then it became research for Pansy’s character.
Remember how I said the first draft only had eleven chapters? That meant I started out with only eleven chapter headings. So when I split them into twenty, I had to rediscover and reorganize all of Oz’s quotes.

Another one of my very first scenes written (also with the fewest changes over the years) was Pansy’s phone calls between Haunt-free Housing and Regent Retail. That was a big part of discovering how Horror differed from Romance and the expectations of the average citizen.

One of the biggest changes of this chapter is actually the fact that Pansy doesn’t get exactly what she wanted in a new home. I originally had Pansy move into a rambler house (not a 3-story dormitory building). It was also a Sorority with ten residents. Yep, two roommates were cut, and Pansy was a Psi Sister. As much as I loved the juxtaposition of Pansy in a sorority, I didn’t have personal experiences to make it work.

But my mom lived in one. My mom doesn’t sit down long enough to read a full book these days, but she did alpha read my first three chapters. Then she commented, “This is nothing like my sorority experience.” Oops.
So, we had a nice long chat about sorority life, and I realized that wasn’t what I had in mind for Pansy. The next draft turned the Psi house into a former sorority that lost its funding, but it was still recently remodeled, in charge of the masquerade, and a rambler house in the middle of a university city. It wasn’t believable.
Thus the Greek Dorms were born.
I felt more comfortable writing about dorms since I worked most of my university time at grocery stores that specifically catered to various dormitories. These dorms all had variable layouts, so even though it’s less common, yes, Pansy’s dorm has a kitchen.

Other than that, most of the edits and changes to chapter one were for the benefit of literary agents and editors. I struggled with my first line after taking out the perfect first line from the prologue. Then there was the trouble of explaining Hauntings (what they were, how they worked, and why Pansy focused her life around them) without dumping information like a garbage truck. Not to mention I had to give the set up for the whole world of Novel and how it worked without providing a map.
What’s that? You want a map? Here:

[image error]This was my first Paint-tools imagining of the world of Novel.
A more official one will appear in Book 2.

So, even though chapter one changed the least scene by scene, it’s definitely the one I’ve changed the most line by line. I mean, check out this terrible prose:

Sean’s been dead longer than we were engaged.  That fact was true after the first sluggish month, but five months later, it still haunted my thoughts.

Apparently our engagement was long enough for him to trust me with everything he had.  I looked over at my shot-gun seat.  Sitting in Sean’s spot was a fat manila envelope.  There wasn’t much in it compared to the amount that now sat in my bank account.

Very first terrible draft of “Don’t Date the Haunted.”

Wait a second . . . Pansy had a car?!
How many of you are only now noticing that Pansy doesn’t have a car? Yep, she always used public transportation, because, in Horror, personal vehicles are helpful, but always break whenever you need them most. Plus, cars are expensive.

Join me next week for Behind the Scenes of chapter two!

If you’re reading this, you are awesome. Why? Come on, do you really need a reason? You’re awesome enough that you shouldn’t need a reason, but ONE reason you’re awesome right this very moment is because you’re reading my post, and that gives me warm fuzzies. So go ahead and pat yourself on the back for brightening someone’s day.

Thanks for the warm fuzzies.

First of all, quick shout out to all those participating in NaNoWriMo! Best of luck! Pace yourself and don’t give up!
If you’re looking for a quick break or some empathy, I got you.

In full honesty, COVID sucks.
But one small highlight in the cloud of craziness has been a dramatic drop in some redundant conversations.  I don’t have the video editing tools to make this happen, but this would be my own “Problems only _____ People Understand.”
15 Problems Only Beginning Writers Understand:

Working Freelance
New Acquaintance: So you’re in college? What’s your major?
Writer: English.
New Acquaintance: Oh, so you want to teach?
Writer: No, I didn’t get a education degree. I want to write.
New Acquaintance: Oh, so . . . what’s your paying job?
Writer: . . . I work at a book store.

People who think we can write Anything
Friend: So I have this awesome idea for a book.  Do you think you could write it for me?

Earning Money for Writing
Applying for jobs online, using keyword: ‘writer’
“Technical writer . . . teacher . . . ‘can write and speak English’ . . .”

People who want to be Fictionalized
Friend: Can I be a character in your book?  But I want you make me someone cool, like a spy or someone with superpowers.

People who Think they know the Publishing Industry
Jerk: Did you know 1 out of every 10 Americans is writing a book?
Writer: Good for them. Too few of them actually put forth the effort to publish.
Jerk: So have you published anything yet?
Writer: Yes, in a couple magazines and an anthology.
Jerk: . . . But not a real book?

Rejection Letters
Reading a rejection email: tally = 18
Writer: When Stephen King had rejections, they were physical letters, so he at least had the satisfaction of slamming the rejection paper into a nail on his wall.

[image error]PS. This is an actual clip-shot of my Submissions

So Many Options
Writer to another Writer: There are so many choices in publishing!  Do I self-publish, or go traditional?  Do I find an editor or an agent first?  Do I even need an agent?

Getting Constructive Reviews
Friend: Can I read your book?  I promise I’ll give you a good review.
Writer: Sure, I’d love for you to review it when it’s published, but I’m still in the editing process.  I need an editor who understands plot structure and characterization.
Friend: Well, I’ve read a lot of books, so I can tell a good book from a bad one.  Does that count?

Balancing Time
Writer to another Writer: They say to read other books and know your genre, but then I don’t have time to write!  I need to research my setting, but how much is too much world-building?

Reading is No Longer Fun
Writer reading a book: . . . Yep, saw that plot-twist coming.

Answering Simple Questions about Books
Friend approaches Writer (who’s reading): That looks like an interesting book. What’s it about?
Writer: Uhhh, how much time do you have?

Trying Not to Judge Other Books
Writer reading a book: Hmmm, that’s a bit out of character.  And is that a spelling error?  I hope my editor would have caught that.

Answering Simple Questions about Books . . . Again
Friend: What’s your favorite book?
Writer: That’s like asking a parent to choose their favorite child.

Editing
Writer on the phone with Editor: I’m excited to work together–! . . . You think I should delete my main character?! . . . Which chapters do I need to re-write? . . . My deadline’s when?!

Deadlines
Friend: Hey, did you want to hang out tonight?
Writer: Sorry, I can’t.  I have a deadline next week.
Friend: But you have a whole week.
Writer: No, I have only a week.

(Closing scene)
Writer reading a book:  Oh look, a female character who’s “about his age.”  Queue romantic interest.

While doing research for my sequel to “Don’t Date the Haunted,” I discovered something humorous.

[image error]

Can you figure out what these words have in common?

ISawStairSiteSeaScene

Did you get it?
If not, try saying the list aloud (or should I say “allowed”?)

Yep. They’re homophones about seeing. For a quick definition, homophones are words that are spelled differently, but sound the same (hence the “phone”). So we have I/Eye, Saw/Saw, Stair/Stare, Site/Sight, Sea/See, and Scene/Seen.

What about Saw? The past tense of “see” is spelled the same as the handsaw, but don’t confuse the sentence “I saw the cat.”

To make things worse, I happened across this poem from one of my text books:

A Little Poem Regarding Computer Spell-Checkers

Eye halve a spelling checker
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong our write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is made
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My checker tolled me sew.

- Based on Jerrold H. Zar's "Candidate for a Pullet Suprise," I understand this poem was created by numerous anonymous internet collaborators.

Hour Cents and Census R knot plane two right.