Sarah Price's Blog, page 18

100 Free Books!

That’s right! I was floored that my publishers are doing a 20-day 100 book giveaway on Goodreads. What a great way to kick off the summer! It’s part of their “Read a Series” promotion and, let’s face it, who doesn’t want to melt into a wonderful series during the lazy days of summer?

I do!

Of course, I’ll be writing a series rather than reading them…most likely.

The Plain Fame series begins with the first book, Plain Fame. Readers will meet Amanda Beiler, a young Amish woman who accidentally meets Alejandro Diaz, a Cuban rock star known as Viper. While she is not familiar with him, his fame, or his reputation as a womanizer, Amanda soon becomes entrenched in the hearts of social media who fall in love with her. Unfortunately, her community becomes inundated with paparazzi and she has a choice to make. That one decision will impact her future and change everything for Alejandro.

A nice clean and wholesome series to read, whether you are lounging on the dock, sitting by the pool, or enjoying the ocean.

I hope you enter and win!!!

The post 100 Free Books! appeared first on Sarah Price.

In November 2014, I published my first book with Waterfall Press (an imprint of Brilliance Publishing). Unlike my other standalone Amish fiction books, this novel was not a typical boy-meets-girl romance that is so often found in Amish fiction.

When I wrote this book, I had no idea of how the readers would respond. In fact, I never planned to write this story at all.

So how did it happen?

Back in March 2014, I had attended a writer’s group in Madison, New Jersey. At the meeting, everyone did an exercise where we had to free write a story using the same first six words: The snow started falling even harder…

I began writing and my mind seemed to drift into a zone that, for me, is when I do my best writing. Despite the fact that we were writing by hand—something I don’t particularly like—the words just flew from my pen. When the allotted time was over, I looked at my two pages of words and thought, “Wow! This could be the beginning of a different kind of story!”

Shortly afterward, Waterfall Press asked me if I had any works-in-progress. I mentioned An Amish Buggy Ride and I delivered the manuscript in May 2014. The rest is history: What began as a simple writing exercise became a best-selling novel on Amazon.

This month, I want to celebrate two years of An Amish Buggy Ride. Over the next four weeks, I will be giving away eBook copies of the novel (https://giveaway.amazon.com/p/5f39cc16740b7962), posting podcasts about the story including pieces of the audio version, posting videos on YouTube (http://bit.ly/1W149ml), and host an online Facebook live stream book discussion on May 17th to the novel. If you don’t already LIKE my Facebook page, here is the link: http://bit.ly/1pVRjaI.

If you have not read the book, please stay tuned to my social media channels for chances to win the book prior to May 17th. If you have read the novel, please consider trying the audio version. It’s a movie for your ears! And, more than anything, if you read and loved the book, please recommend it to friends.

During this month, we will do more than just discuss the story. We will explore some of the issues behind the story: dysfunctional relationships within families. There was a lot of psychology that went into this story. Perhaps that is one of the reasons that it resonated with so many readers.

So, without further delay, here’s to An Amish Buggy Ride.

Quiet and soft-spoken, Kate Zook is the responsible eldest daughter in an Amish family and prides herself on fulfilling her role. Then, one fateful snowy night, she uncharacteristically speaks her mind—and unwittingly plays a part in a horrible accident.

Wracked by guilt over her role in the tragedy that left her brother David injured, Kate devotes herself to his care, going so far as to take on his chores in the fields. Even so, her brother’s resentment toward her grows, and David torments Kate, making her increasingly isolated life even more difficult.

Though Kate’s parents have emotionally withdrawn, someone outside the home takes an interest in Kate and notes her clear grief. Samuel, a local boy, has recently returned from a wild rumschpringe—the Amish term for exploring the wider world—and recommitted to his community. Intrigued by Kate’s gentle yet loyal ways, he begins to fall in love with her. But tensions rise as he refuses to put up with David’s rage. As Kate’s heart begins to stir and cry out for happiness, she must rely on faith to find forgiveness or risk losing out on love.

The post Celebrate An Amish Buggy Ride With Me! appeared first on Sarah Price.

The sun was high and warm as we made our way to the gently rolling waves of the Gulf of Mexico. The beach almost burned the soles of our feet as they sank into the sand, an occasional shell poking into our skin. Our already tanned bodies were prepared for sunbathing. We quickly deposited our beach towels and cooler on an unoccupied spot and headed toward the water. I had been to the beach before, but this was his first time. I could hardly wait to feel the salty water on my toes and to see his face as the water lapped up to his legs.

When we finally reached the outer edges of the wet sand as the waves receded, he was now holding my hand leading me into the water. The dark ocean soaked sand sucked our feet downward with each step. We entered the water and were soon encircled by foamy sea water. I generally liked to stay just past knee deep. I felt safer there. But, he wanted to explore the water, and soon I saw him disappear underneath leaving me the view of sea seemingly touching sky. It was at that moment that something caught my eye.

A fin. A. Fin. I didn’t walk on water…but, I did make it to shore in record time.

My husband’s head bobbed up out of the water and he yelled, “What are you doing?”

I pointed shaking my finger toward a wave, “Fin!”

“What?!”

“A fin! There’s a fin. Fin!” I was now motioning for him to hurry and come to shore. He swam toward me and as he walked up out of the water he looked confused–umm–maybe a little angry?

“You saw a fin and just left me there? You didn’t even try to get my attention?!” At this point he was just glaring at me.

Sheepishly I shrugged my shoulders, “Sorry? Um. I wasn’t thinking, I guess.”

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The post Fight or Flight from Fin to Sin by Lisa Bull appeared first on Sarah Price.

True Confession: I am a very disloyal reader. I tend to go through spurts, binging on different types of books: biographies, inspiration, women’s fiction, Amish romances, historical romances, Jane Austen Fan Fiction, classics. I am an author’s worst nightmare because I stray from my favorites. After two or three books, I get tired of the genre and float to another genre.

Sorry, Jodi Picoult.

As an author and an avid reader, I love the Kindle Unlimited program. Truly, Amazon is my best friend. Without Amazon, I might not have my two publishers right now.

I love shopping on Amazon. I love my Amazon Prime. And I love Kindle Unlimited…one of the best programs for readers that is out there…besides the library, I guess. Finally, I love that not only do I get to try out a book, I don’t have to “KEEP” the book, even if I like it. I have three libraries in my house. THREE! I don’t have room for many more books and, as a book hoarder, it’s just better for me and my house if I read them on my Kindle.

There is, however, a dark side. As usual, yucky people have found a way to ruin a good thing. I truly believe that the love of money is a thing of the devil. And these yucky people are, in my opinion, evil.

These people pretend to be authors, self-publish dozens of books in the same month (sometimes even the same day!), and incorporate gimmicks in the book to target unknowing people with their .99 cent or free book. As soon as you open the book, they get money. YOUR money as well as money from legitimate authors.

Most of the time, the books are written by ghost writers (something else of the devil, in my opinion) and/or one or two things might be changed in the book so that they can publish it multiple times with a different cover. In the Regency collection, several “authors” publish the exact same book…word for word!…but with different titles. The only difference is that they change the order of the chapters/stories inside. Unknowingly, people will read these books and the “author” gets paid just for you opening the book!

Here’s a sample of one “book”:

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The post You Are What You Read appeared first on Sarah Price.

Here is a little snippet of my interview over at  Ladies in Defiance. I am giving away THREE copies of Plain Fame so be sure to stop by and enter!

How was one of your book heroines, “A Lady in Defiance” of the times or circumstances in which she lived?

All of my heroines are ladies in defiance, at least to some degree. However, I believe that Amanda Beiler (Diaz) is one of the strongest examples of a woman who openly resists what is expected of her. As a young Amish woman, she is governed by rules, both from within her family as well as through her church community. From the very first chapter of the book, readers will quickly learn that Amanda, while respectful of her upbringing, culture, and religion, is an independent young woman who follows her heart. When she meets Alejandro (aka “Viper”), an international rock star, her curiosity about his life and then, later, him as a person creates a lot of tension for her family and the community, all because she believes in her own decision making and will not conform to the Amish expectations of her.

The result is a five-book series that follows Amanda’s journey of spiritual growth as well as personal development in the world of Alejandro. There are times she has to stand up to her father, church leaders, the public, and even Alejandro as she transforms from one world to another. Yet, Amanda is defiant in a quiet way and one that involves a lot of self-reflection substantiated by her faith in God. She knows that He has a plan for her and she does not question it, even in the worst of situations.

What real-life “Lady in Defiance” has impacted your life or writing?

As far as real-life “Lady in Defiance” role models, I gave a lot of thought to this and, frankly, no. No one comes to mind.

All of my life, I was told that I should behave a certain why, that I couldn’t do certain things, or that I simply did not conform to societal expectations. There were times when I had to make choices that went against the grain of friends, family, and co-workers. But rather than take the easier, more traveled road, I always took the road that I believed to be the right road.

When I was younger, people around me laughed about my desire to write. In those days (that makes me sound old but, in reality, I’m perpetually 23…!), it wasn’t easy to become published. I cannot fault people for laughing at my dream. However, I never gave up. Instead, I persevered. There was a period of time in my life when I didn’t write. No…I couldn’t write. I was mocked, put down, made fun of, and all of my manuscripts were thrown out. Years of hard work just discarded without me knowing about it!

After I divorced that problem, suddenly my words came back to me. And I realized that when something or someone silences your passion, you need to remove that toxicity from your life. It was a great lesson to learn and, as always, God’s plan included my twelve years of literary silence that, in my opinion, has shaped me into a more prolific and successful author.

In 2013, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Rather than get upset about the diagnosis or ask “Why me?”, I turned it around to be “Why not me?” I kept an upbeat attitude during the entire treatment which was almost two years of surgeries, chemotherapy, hospitalizations for life threatening infections, more surgeries, etc. I encountered a lot of problems during those two years, but I never felt sorry for myself or cried about it. Instead, I found a lot of positives in the life changing event called “cancer” and refused to accept any of the negatives.

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The post Q&A with Sarah Price and Plain Fame Book Giveaway appeared first on Sarah Price.

Over the weekend, I published a photo on my Facebook page:

The caption read:

Describe this photo in three words or less…GO!

What was intended as a nice way of sharing among people who read my books and share a passion for the quiet, restrained life of the Amish turned into a firestorm of negativity from a select few intent on spreading their erroneous opinions and hate of the Amish.

But wait, Sarah (you might be thinking). How can OPINIONS be ERRONEOUS?

When opinions are put forth as fact using not one iota of reference to any legitimate source or statistic, they are erroneous. Period. Here are just a few of them…

Well, let’s start with the poop comment.

Apparently, you lived in Ohio which is Amish Country…so yes, there would be horse poop on the roads. Since horses travel down the middle of their lane on road, I presume you are not stepping in their manure, but you simply just don’t like poop. Perhaps we should get rid of all dogs and cats, birds and rabbits because (horrors!) they poop, too. That’s a silly comment, but I shall let it stand at that.

“Everything about them are nasty.”

Really? I mean REALLY? What I deduce from this statement is either A. you have only met a few Amish people and they just were not friendly toward you or B. you met all of them and they were all not friendly toward you.

If it were the former, then you should not generalize about an entire religious and cultural community simply because one, two, or even ten people were not bending over backwards to meet your notion of stranger-kindness.

If, however, it were the latter, then I would suspect that YOU have the problem. Presuming you met all 300,000 Amish people in the USA and they were all nasty to you, then I believe that YOU, not them, have the problem. What exactly is it about YOU that 300,000 Amish people don’t like you? From your comments on the photo post, I can place a good bet that you are a judgmental person with low tolerance for anyone who doesn’t believe what you believe. If you are Christian (which seems unlikely), you might want to flip through the New Testament again…perhaps study a few of Jesus’s teachings or, even better, go speak to your preacher, pastor, or priest about your inability to A. be nice B. keep negative thoughts to yourself and C. judge others without knowing one thing about them.

“And they all treat their animals so badly.”

Interesting. Very interesting. Seems to me that the shelters in MY county are full of abandoned, discarded, and unloved animals. But we don’t have any Amish for 60 miles from my home. Do the Amish treat their animals badly? Perhaps some do (more about this later). However, if you are basing this on the fact that Amish people don’t dress up their dogs in cute little outfits, adorn them with blinged out collars, or let the snuggle on the sofa while watching television at night, then you might have a point.

But I suspect that is not your reason for making this very unsubstantiated claim. There is simply NO logic to your claim. And no facts, either. If ALL Amish treated their animals badly:

They would not get milk from their cows for unhealthy cows won’t produce quality milk (or any for that matter!) their Belgian draft horses would be too weak to pull the mowers, balers, and other farm equipment, and their carriage horses would drop on the road left and right when pulling buggies.

Anyway, enough attention to you. Let’s explore some other ridiculous post…

I noticed on your Facebook page that you have a lot of quotes about forgiveness and acceptance, particularly with the LGBT communities. I applaud your open-mindedness! However, your comments in your post made me wonder at how closed-minded and misinformed you are about the Amish, judging others (the very thing you post that you don’t want done to YOU) and being rather unaccepting of their lifestyle.

So let’s explore your post…

Puppy mills. Are there any Amish puppy mills? Yup. You betcha. In fact, the Humane Society identified at least three puppy mills that are Amish (possibly five, I cannot be certain). However, on this list of puppy mills, there were at least 95 (or 97, depending on how many were Amish) other puppy mills identified that were NOT Amish.

Who buys these puppies? Not the Amish, for sure and certain. So I have to presume it is the NON-AMISH buying them and clearly with no sense of accountability or responsibility for the conditions in which their beloved puppy’s mother lives.

While we are on the topic, a NON-AMISH pet store owner of Just Pups in Paramus was just caught with 67 puppies shoved in tiny crates in a VAN on a very cold night. He had his own breeding farm, apparently, in Tennessee. Again, NOT Amish.

However, let’s use YOUR uneducated logic and words of Wisdom, since 3% of the Top 100 Puppy Mills identified by the Humane Society are potentially Amish and you do not want anyone to buy anything from them, let’s observe the same practice with the rest of America because at least 95% of the Top 100 Puppy Mills are NOT Amish. You never know when you might buy something from a store owner who has a puppy mill, right?

But wait! If you are promoting boycotting Amish goods and products because of the 3-5 top puppy mills being Amish, aren’t you punishing an entire community? Aren’t you generalizing? Aren’t you basically demonstrating the same no-tolerance that you, according to YOUR Facebook page, want the world to show toward the LGBT community? Doesn’t that make you (dare I say it?) a hypocritical bigot?

Now, let’s look at your comment about crimes.

Child abuse. Wife abuse. Elder abuse. Does it happen? Yes. However, it happens in ALL societies. 679,000 children were abused in America (according to a 2013 report on child abuse). 28% of young adults aged 14-17 reported having been the victim of sexual assault and, overwhelmingly, it was by a family member. That’s TWO MILLION CHILDREN! And most of the time, those offenders never even make it to court.

I have first hand experience with this. And I can assure you that my offenders were non-Amish and, to be perfectly frank, sat with their families in a Catholic church pew every Sunday.

My roommate in college was molested repeatedly by her brother while she was growing up (Catholic offender). A young man I know was molested by another boy (uncertain of offender’s religion but not Amish). Another young man I know was molested as a young boy (Catholic offender). Wow, I’m seeing a pattern here. Perhaps we should boycott all Catholics, at least based on this ignorant logic.

I don’t care what religion you practice. Intolerance to ANY group based on stereotyping or ignorant generalizations is simply fallacious and demonstrates just how illiterate and uneducated people can be.

But I’m not judging the Facebook commenters of the world. And I demonstrated my own tolerance of these misinformed and sanctimonious people: I left their posts on my page and did not ban them for spreading their antipathy. Instead, I am leaving those comments there so that others can read and form their own opinions.

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The post On Puppy Mills, Child Abuse, and Incest within the Amish appeared first on Sarah Price.

“To what can I compare this generation? They are like children sitting in the marketplaces and calling out to others:

‘We played the pipe for you, and you did not dance; we sang a dirge, and you did not mourn.’

For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, ‘He has a demon.’

The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.’ But wisdom is proved right by her deeds.” Matthew 11:16-19

This morning, Marc and I had our daily meeting. It’s a nice time of the day, before we both commence with our individual duties, when we can sit, enjoy the sunrise outside (and the occasional ducks that land in our pond or, most recently, the small herd of four deer that have returned to our property), and simply share with each other.

Our discussions vary from what we have scheduled to silly philosophical questions. Today, however, we were discussing how so many people tend to think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. But once they jump the fence, they are often disillusioned to learn that it, too, requires work in order to maintain it.

Have you ever had a dream and, once you achieved it, it wasn’t exactly what you wanted? Have you ever doubted yourself after you have worked very hard for something only to find out that you still need to work harder?

Our conversation circled back to something that bothers both of us tremendously: the sense of entitlement that is so prevalent in today’s world. Many people are quite willing to work for what they have. But there are others who tend to think that privilege is due to them simply because they exist.

Here is a perfect example:

A young adult needs to get a job and face the reality of the real world. However, this person yells at the parents, “How can I do that without you giving me a car? Without my having a cell phone?”

When the mother responds, “You have a car in the drive way but you need to pay for car insurance to use it. And you had a cell phone but you chose to break it,” the young adult gets irritated and storms away.

After our morning meeting, I went into my office to read my devotion book and it referenced Matthew 11: 2-6. I continued reading until I found the above passage. How clearly God was speaking to me this morning!

Apparently the disillusioned beliefs of entitlement are not new to our generation, but they were common even 2000 years ago!

When John the Baptist preached, people felt that he did not live up to their image of who he should be. They questioned him because he did not eat nor drink. They called him a demon. Yet, when Jesus came and behaved as a regular man, they questioned him because he did eat and drink…and befriended the sinners, rather than the ‘saints.’ They called him a drunkard and a glutton.

In their opinions, they were entitled to spiritual leaders sent from God to guide them, but when God sent them, the people questioned them because they did not match the image in their mind. They found fault with them because it was much easier to judge them than to accept them. After all, what John and Jesus were asking of the people required hard work on the parts of the people and that was simply something that people were not ready to embrace. They felt entitled to a Savior, but did not want the hard work that was required in order to accept that Savior and do as he instructed.

God has given us the tools to achieve righteousness and true faith, just as the parents provided the tools to the young adult to be successful. What we do with those tools is up to us. If we choose to look at the tools as being “not enough” or “too hard” to make work, that is entitlement. We are not entitled to have an easy way in life. God never promised that. In fact, I personally believe that God, like those parents, gives us the tools and wants to see what we can do with them. What do we produce? How do we succeed? Or do we merely say that it’s not enough and walk away?

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Springtime! How many of you are thinking about getting the vegetable garden plot ready, or clearing out the flowerbeds?

Long ago and far away, I grew vegetables for a few summers. It was nothing prize-worthy, and the quantity was only what we could eat fresh with little to freeze. But there was a sense of accomplishment. Now I don’t grow vegetables, but I still try to coax flowers along. My front yard is under control. It’s the back yard that is an agricultural albatross. The soil is sandy, the climate is dry, and the terraced design that keeps the hill from sliding into the house also makes it difficult to water anything but the bottom level.

Yet I keep trying! Why do I do that, when it feels like so much work, and I do not especially get my jollies out of rooting around in the dirt?

I think it’s the surprise that those flowers are there because of something I did! It’s the mystery of orange daylilies unfolding. It’s the joy of a yellow swathe of sunflowers, and the wildness of purple and pink larkspur, and the determined announcement of survival that comes with white mounds of snow-in-summer.

Even though I don’t enjoy the work, I relish the beauty that results.

This time of year makes me think about the relationship to the land we all have. Our food comes from the land. The beauty of nature nourishes our spirits. I can look out my front window and see Pikes Peak as I type this sentence.

My faith reflections, too, turn to the land. We came from the soil, from the dust of the earth and enlivened by God’s Spirit. From their first consciousness, Adam and Eve were in a garden of abundance. Beginning with Abraham, God’s promises to his people included the promise of land that would sustain them for generations.

The land is a sign of God’s generous, creative abundance. In my determination to grow flowers, I am looking past barren circumstances and setting my heart on the hope that lies ahead.

Authors commonly hear the question, “What part of you is in this story?” As I think about my new book, Hope in the Land, I think the part of me in the story is the part that embraces the work now for the joy that comes later. Even though I’m not an organized gardener, there’s a part of me that looks around and sees what’s possible, not just because of my own labor but because of the ways I am connected to so many other people.

Hope in the Land is a Depression-era story that explores the various ways people respond to the land and to the hope that is in the land itself. When Henry Edison turns up in Lancaster County to survey farm women about their domestic contributions during the 1930s, the last thing Amish housewife Gloria Grabill has time for is the government agent’s unending questions. Gloria’s hands are already full with a farm to run alongside her husband, a houseful of children, and an English neighbor, Minerva Swain, who has been trying Gloria s patience for forty years. Gloria’s oldest daughter, Polly, wants nothing more than the traditional path of an Amish farmer’s wife, but everything she does seems to push Thomas Coblentz further away. While the Great Depression shadows the country in gloom, can Amish and English neighbors in Lancaster County grasp the goodness that will sustain hope?

Thanks so much for wandering over to my blog! Olivia is giving away a copy of HOPE IN THE LAND to one lucky reader.  To enter leave a comment for Olivia. Giveaway starts today, Wednesday, April 6th and ends Wednesday, April 12th.

*Giveaway is only open to US residents*

Hope in the Land, releasing April 1, 2016, is the fourth novel under the banner of Amish Turns of Time, stories that explore points in time that shaped Amish history. Her Amish stories also include the Valley of Choice series.

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The post Land of Abundance by Olivia Newport appeared first on Sarah Price.

I’m not good enough.

I’m not smart enough. I’m not pretty enough. I’m not articulate enough. I’m not funny enough. I didn’t finish college. I made mistakes (BIG UGLY MISTAKES). I’m not professionally trained.

I’m so very ORDINARY.

It’s interesting to me that in the last two days I’ve had two conversations with two different people about destiny. The question? “What am I supposed to be doing with my life?” Here I am, in my (cover your eyes) forties, trying to figure out my purpose. How is that even possible? Where did time go? How did time just slip through my fingers without me noticing? I suppose I was too busy getting married, having babies, raising children, and chasing teenagers to consider my own life.

I don’t regret any of those things. And, looking back, raising two fine young men was my purpose at that time. It was my joy to teach them about Jesus and do my best to raise them the way God instructed me to. But, now–well, now they need me less and less. It’s time for me to figure out who God wants me to be.

When I started this webpage and my new Facebook page, I struggled with the name. With the encouragement of my sisters-by-choice, I finally decided on Lisa Bull, Writer. I still have a hard time with this. I’m not an author. I’m not famous. And, I can only imagine what the people who have known me forever think when they see the title. I DO write though. My brain fills with thoughts and they flow out of my fingers. Sometimes it feels like if I don’t share my thoughts, my brain might explode. (I stole that expression from my girl, Sarah.)

I do sense that God has something to say through me. I do feel that I have something important to share. However, when someone I know comes up to me and says, “I didn’t know you write,” I freeze. Ever heard the expression, “like a deer caught in headlights”? Me. Totally me. Inside I’m screaming, “Please don’t ask me about my writing! Please don’t ask me if I’ve written a book!

Please don’t ask me what I write about! Please just turn around and walk away!”

I’m not good enough–the feeling literally wraps itself around me and starts to smother me.

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As many of my followers may be aware, the past few years have been rather tumultuous for my family in many ways. There was my breast cancer diagnosis and subsequent treatment after a poorly done double mastectomy, my daughter’s withdraw (and subsequent rising from the ashes), and my son’s descent into depression. As a small family unit of six (my parents, my husband, my children, and myself), we have fought very hard to conquer all of these troubles and, like Catherine, have emerged victorious over Satan’s hand in our lives.

Well, almost.

What does a person do when someone else works very hard to destroy the balance in your life? When a person interferes with the hard work and labor of love so focused on rescuing someone who has been greatly wronged, suffering in silence along the way rather than speak up and defend him or herself?

I speak specifically of my children.

The dysfunctional nature of my first marriage is not something I hide, although I do not regularly discuss it in any detail. However, I am compelled to write of it today.

My son has been struggling to adjust to life as a man. This struggle began in his early years when one parent would ask him to clean up his toys only to be told by the other parent that he was “too young” for such chores. Fast forward to a young man of 18, he has learned that whatever the one parent wants, the other will say the opposite.

Since Alex’s 18th birthday, we have enjoyed a good degree of harmony in our house. Until last night. Upon returning from a very rare visit at another person’s home (strictly to use the Internet as this is not allowed in our home except on weekends), my son came home angry, belligerent, cursing, and frustrated. He had left a happy young man after spending the day with me and his sister at our other farm. Later I learned that both Alex and this other person tried to get my daughter to tell them the password to the Internet our house, despite knowing our rule!

There is something about a parent who refuses to follow rules, often just for the sake of being disagreeable rather than thinking about the turmoil it creates for the child. And yes, I said child because, even though my son is 18 years of age, we are not dealing with a regular young adult who has benefited from a united front, but rather been targeted as a tool by a person who claims to have his best interest at heart when, instead, vengeance seems to be the primary driving force for decision making. This has created a life of distress that needs only a simple whisper of suggestion from one person to destroy the foundation that Marc and I have worked so hard to create.

If we try to moderate Internet usage in the house, the other person gives him a portable WiFi device so that my son does not have to obey our rules.

If we arrange for a job to help build a routine and work ethic in Alex’s life, the other person calls it “not a real job.”

If we support treatment options and therapy, the effort is sabotaged by breaking the rules of the professionals.

The list goes on and on.

My parents have been privy to the deceit and false promises, spoken only when confronted and rarely (if ever!) followed. My own post-traumatic distress from dealing with this person has escalated to the point where my husband must be the main conduit of conversation, discussion, and negotiation…none of which should have to take place because we are dealing with the welfare of a child, not a business transaction. And to drag in a 13-year-old, trying to manipulate her into breaking our rules is just despicable. As I said, Satan keeps rearing his ugly head in our efforts to help our son.

It’s a shame. I see this happen all over the place. Parents who refuse to take accountability, deny wrong doing, and work hard to provide false support for their children. The harm that is being done is tremendous. These young people are our future leaders, business owners, and parents of the next generation. They are being taught that they do not have to obey authority and that their sense of entitlement far outweighs their contributions to the rest of society.

I will never give up on my children. I will continue to build them up, even when others work so hard to tear them down. But the effort to do so is made quite difficult as our country does not seem to care when another parent interferes to the point of breaking down the progress, all in the name of judicial equality of parental rights.

Parental rights? What about what is good for the child and the future of that individual’s contributions to society?

I am well aware that there are three sides to every story and I do not profess to being the greatest parent. Children do not, after all, come with an instruction manual. Part-time “parenting” is not the solution to every situation, especially when the “parenting” is focused at destroying what the other parent does.

Solutions? There are none. In our country, there is an increasing emphasis on the rights of one overruling what is good for all.

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