Kelly McClymer's Blog, page 24

She wanted her own dishertation, just like Dad.

Every child makes a few mistakes when they're learning the language. Some parents help them learn the proper pronunciation, and pretend not to notice the bisketti-shaped malapropisms.

Not this Turtle Mom. I took every mangled word and taped it up inside my shell (which has the dimensions of Dr. Who's TARDIS, just in case anyone is curious).

I used them endlessly past the p...

One long plane flight.

Need to catch up? Read Turtle Mom's Epic Plan to Restore Mommy Karma.

Being the designated babysitter for your siblings usually comes with the side benefit of being able to stay in your own home, with your own things.

Usually.

Sometimes, it requires more of a challenge.

Like when you supervise your brothers on a flight to visit your grandmother to participate in Camp Grandmom.

Think snakes on a plane, and then substitute boys for the snakes. Really, which seems worse?

At the t...

Disney World. What could be next for this princess!?!

Need to catch up? Read Turtle Mom's Epic Plan to Restore Mommy Karma.

There once was was a Turtle Mom (quick definition – the opposite of a Tiger Mom) who had a daughter who was a princess…sort of. She had a court of grandparents, aunts, an uncle, and her parents adored her.

Her only competition for her parents' affection were books…and computers…and college classes.

And then, the princess's parents graduated and got real jobs.

And the...

Mom With Armload of Book. "Clue. Less." says Daughter.

Stress sends a Turtle Mom into her shell faster than just about anything. My shell was (and is) the world of my imagination. Writing, reading, problem-solving. Anything that starts "What if…" and ends with happily-ever-after-ish.

Stress comes with the package when a family adds a child with autism (official acronym of son's diagnosis-AS). Any morning routine could be disrupted by a total meltdown caused by something as simple as a shirt...

As a Turtle Mom, I did come out of my shell at times to get to know Daughter's friends' mothers. Having worked, gone to school, and spent a lot of time writing, I didn't really know the ins and outs of being a good school-mom. I knew to send cupcakes for the birthday (this was back in the non-healthy snacks day), and to make sure the homework had a name on it, but that was about it.

My mom had never been a classroom mom (something to do with the three little sisters still at home while I was i...

Coming to the party late? Not sure what the Turtle Mom Confessions are all about? Read Turtle Mom's Epic Plan to Restore Mommy Karma.

Don't they look like they'd hurt?

I cannot blame my stand against ear-piercing on being a Turtle Mom. It comes from someplace else. The place that rejects a daily application of makeup, or wearing uncomfortable heels. The place that says that what we look like should matter less than what we think, do, feel and say. The place that says a truly Awesome Human...

Sleepyheads.

Sleep is a Turtle Mom's ideal shell time. Nestled deep in the dark, dreaming and recharging for time spent outside the shell. Waking up can be hard for a Turtle Mom. No doubt a Tiger Mom wakes at 4:30, does her kick-boxing, personal grooming routine, cleaning and cooks a full breakfast for her children (who wake up when their alarms go off, because…their mom is aTiger Mom!).

But a Turtle Mom needs an alarm clock that picks her up and carries her from the bed to the shower…the cold ...

With newly minted degrees and professional jobs, in short a real grown-up life, comes a move out of student apartment living. This kind of step needs to be taken with care. NOTE: Never base your decision on the model apartment. That will look clean and light…and there won't be roaches scuttling around.

We moved in to our new grown up apartment complex (with pool!), unpacked halfway…and then started the bombing runs.

We kept nothing in the kitchen that couldn't go in the refrigerator. We spent o...

She practiced on them before the brothers and cousins came along. They were (usually) better behaved, although once she had to toss a Barbie off the balcony for some unrevealed infraction.

There is a price to be paid when you are the firstborn grandchild. Eventually, all the early doting and attention give way when more grandchildren arrive on the scene.

This price is higher when you are the firstborn female grandchild, and a natural caretaker.

Daughter had almost eight years as the only...

She always likes to look her best.

When you only have three of you, sharing one bathroom isn't convenient. There's always someone who has to wake up earliest to make sure everyone can shower and dress in order to get to school or work in time.

When you get to five people sharing one bathroom, all needing to be out of the house by 7:30 a.m. sharp, none wanting to wake up earliest, things can get a little crazy.

Sure, he doesn't look like he wants a bath. But he looks like he needs one.

When you a...