Lorelei James's Blog, page 45

A doctor requested his 85-year-old man patient supply sperm as part of his physical exam. He gave the patient a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.”

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained.

“Well, doc, it’s like this–first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still...

Mama said I’m a knock out…oops, I meant, Mama said knock you out — this guy? Could be Deacon

#ManCandyMonday

Mother Superior tells two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes.

One nun suggests to the other, “Let’s take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door.” So they do this, and begin painting their room.

Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, “Who is it?”

“Blind man!” The nuns look at each other and one nun says, “He’s blind, so he can’t see. What could it hurt?” They let him in.

The blind man walks in and says, “Hey, nice tits. Where...

There are no words…mostly because it’s hard to talk when I’m drooling…

“Hon, is it in?”

“Yeah.”

“Does it hurt?”

“Uh huh.”

“Let me put it in slowly this time.”

“It still hurts.”

“Okay, let’s try another shoe size.”

#FridayFunny

For those of you lucky enough to live in Colorado, the National Western Stock Show started this week! I’ve written about the event in my books but I’ve never been…here’s a pic of a couple of cowboys driving cattle thru downtown Denver

#WesternWednesday #NationalWesternStockShow

Think he’s shy with the way he’s ducking his head?

#ManCandyMonday

For Mr. James, who when I say…I wonder if…immediately does a search for an answer — and doesn’t understand my….odd? need to let some things remain a mystery or left to my very wicked imagination

Influenza A hit our household…and I’m not leaving home to infect anyone else with this awful stuff.

Long hair in disarray, heavy scruff, bedroom eyes. That chest. The wet white shirt…Happy Monday