Christopher Stewart's Blog: Scribo - Posts Tagged "self-development"

that unscheduled passage
through the echo chamber
where worshippers of night
stare at a shrine to gloom
was not meant as umbrage
nor as some forced labour
but so you would yield light
straight in the eyes of doom

that sudden sommation
into the court of pain
where judges of conduct
wield a ruthless hammer
was no condemnation
nor a mark of disdain
but so you could deduct
how hurt signals error

that guided excursion
up the stream of hardship
where the specters of fail
inhabit every reef
was not destination
nor meant to sink your ship
but so joy could prevail
still in the fount of grief

that unplanned adventure
round the deep pits of hell
where the womb of all fear
has constructed her lair
was never to censure
nor fealty compel
but so your faith shone clear
at the heart of despair

§

should you ever o my darling
hear that i am forever gone
do not be vainly pondering
that you will miss our liaison

for upon you i lay no blame
not knowing who i'd come to be
when before you i make the claim
never will you truly miss me

unsettled by futures unclear
withheld by self-worth glaucoma
encircled by vultures of fear
brooded over childhood trauma

peering beyond self-sabotage
commonplaces and convention
is the end goal only mirage
figment of imagination

experiences recurring
will the lesson ever be learned
is cyclic healing occurring
will the sound me ever be earned

restricted by the rules of men
and harnessed by the hands of fate
never skating time and again
fully free from that figure-eight

somebody else i must have been
all this time i could not be me
whose whole story was just a scene
of mistaken identity

so if i state o my darling
that you'll never truly miss me
don't resent me for the saying
nor do refuse its verity

but trust that time delivers cures
that diseased eyes can come to see
that it was through no fault of yours
that never was i fully me

§

now that the truth is out
and edges the windup
say did you really doubt
of where you would end up

just right there where you are
all alone in the night
feeling more fraud than star
and really not that bright

not completely grownup
more bewildered than fine
but still the wait is up
time to come forth and shine

seems you blew your thirties
in healing from your teens
in bending to worries
and in blaming your genes

cloistered in priory
yet life was not tranquil
your want was fiery
unending test of will

years of slow advances
at the foot of millions
trained by circumstances
pruned by disillusions

countless angels unseen
arranging the decor
staging every scene
closing every door

but the ones to your fate
in ways that tamed your spleen
and pacified your hate
they polished up your sheen

to this constrained ascent
found pointless to oppose
much better to consent
than struggle in the throes

now you're pinned to the sky
right where life wanted you
you are not asking why
in truth you always knew

alien in the void
stuck to celestial dome
the gods blocked or destroyed
all the bridges back home

with no way to retreat
you must recite your tome
revealing the deceit
exposing the syndrome

you have no place to stand
and yet a world to move
a posse to disband
a thesis to disprove

billions of souls to stir
hearts to set afire
with notes that rouse and spur
and rhymes that inspire

to herald the reset
of the world that wasn't
and hasten the onset
of a way that doesn't

disregard our nature
but puts the living first
above expenditure
through the best and the worst

§