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July 27, 2015

“Lord, I’m On “E”…Can I Get a Refill…Fulfilled?” Blog Series Part 20

Lord On E *This entry is a part of a continuous series, reading the previous entries will help you follow without missing a beat*


3-Declare Enough is Enough







yes_i_can_beat_cancer_pink_postcard-r8ee9490669e6484d8d17cd347914e793_vgbaq_8byvr_324July 10, 2006 I entered the hospital full of faith, hope and love! The counselor came in to speak with me to make sure I was prepared for my surgery. If you are depressed and go into surgery, you won’t fight. Well, towards the end of our almost two hour talk…the counselor was crying and he said; “wow, you are definitely prepared for this surgery. You have a strong support system and faith strong enough to pull you through everything. I really wish I could have you talk to other Cancer patients because you would give them so much hope.” We hugged and he left. All of my nurses said I was glowing and they would love to come in my room and just sit and talk with me before and after my surgery.  On July 11th, with my support system there and praying…my mom, children, aunts, uncle and friends all carried my burden and the surgery went well. I was in the recovery room and all I remembered was painfully coughing, machines beeping and nurses running into the room. My eyes were still closed and I couldn’t come into full consciousness but I knew when the chaplain came into the room…something was seriously wrong. I literally had an out of body experience where I could see the chaplain praying while they were working on me and then it was over. When I finally awoke, I asked the nurse if something had happened because I had this weird dream and she put her hand over my hand and said, “hush child…you gave us a scare but you held on. All is well. Get some rest before we let your family in to see you. They’ve been waiting a long time you know?” She smiled and walked out. It was over! The doctors had to remove a rib to get to the cancer, cut an entire section out of my airway to get all of the cancer and then resection my airway. I survived…the worst was over.


Recovery was rugged but supernaturally quick. I had tubes in my side that had to be checked and cleaned daily and urethra tubes. I hated those. At one point all of my veins collapsed and I had to get my IV inserted into my neck! THAT was painful; I really thought I was going to die from that. It took them about an hour to find a suitable vein in my neck. All in all I was in the hospital for a little less than two weeks. My mom stayed with my children at my house and my friends were making sure they ate and were cared for without any stress.  I came home on the 19th and my birthday was the 24th. This was going to truly be a celebration of life!


My birthday was spectacular! I was still on bedrest so my daughter made me stay in the room while they prepared my surprise birthday. They had music blasting so I couldn’t hear a thing and they would bring me breakfast and lunch in bed. When they came into the room and blindfolded me, I didn’t know what to expect. India Arie’s Private Party was playing and I was jamming, singing to the top of my lungs until they took the blindfold off…LOL! All of my family and friends yelled Happy Birthday and I was laughing and crying! Embarrassed that they were all witnesses to my singing (that’s not a gift God blessed me with) but so overjoyed that they were all there! My daughter and her friends had prepared a meal fit for a Queen and we had a ball. That definitely is number #1 in my birthday top 5!


While still on bedrest and fairly getting sick of being in the bed, wound cleanings and bandage replacements; I woke up one morning and said I am going to record a CD! I spent the next 24hrs downloading software, making beats, finding beats and recording my CD. I did not sleep and the next day I put the finishing touches on it and sent it off to company for packaging. I wanted to tell my story, I wanted to encourage others and I wanted to give God the glory! The local newspaper found it interestingly enough to do a story on my trials and triumphs! The rest of the year I recovered. I worked out with Roman to strengthen my lungs and I had my mind set that I was getting off of disability. I now treasure every breath…because each one is a gift!


breath


http://www.sanjojendayi.com


 Oh, please listen to my daughter’s poem in honor of me…Cancer, YOU CANsir! 


https://www.reverbnation.com/SeKeithia/song/23911306-cancer-you-cansir-dedicated-to


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Published on July 27, 2015 05:52

July 20, 2015

“Lord, I’m On “E”…Can I Get a Refill…Fulfilled?” Blog Series Part 19

Lord On E *This entry is a part of a continuous series, reading the previous entries will help you follow without missing a beat*


3-Declare Enough is Enough


43cad254ec9dadd98749157e1428423cIn 2004, I was diagnosed with Sarcoidosis: Sarcoidosis is a disease in which inflammation occurs in the lymph nodes, lungs, liver, eyes, skin, or other tissues. Not cancer…while still trying to get the AS under control. The Sarcoidosis had in fact attacked my liver, lungs, spleen and skin by this time. The next phase was getting the right medications to bring everything into balance.  I was placed back on steroids indefinitely and a few other meds to keep the pain from AS under control and stop the spread of Sarcoidosis.  My heart went out to my daughter because I had few hospital stays and it was during one of them that her father had a freak accident at a pool party and was rushed to Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore. She was back and forth between NIH in Bethesda and Johns Hopkins in Baltimore. She was under a lot of stress and all I wanted to do was to relieve her but this was her lot and I had to trust that God was holding and growing my baby at the same time. I spent 5yrs total on disability with a few breaks where I tried to work but I couldn’t hold down a job due to my health flare ups. During one of my painful flares, my healthcare team and I decided to try enbrel injections to help with the pain.  I would inject myself daily and this was working out pretty good.


One day I started coughing uncontrollably and having night sweats. I lost 10lbs in 5 days, so I called my doctor.  She advised me to come in immediately. Once there, they ran some tests and said they needed to schedule me for a lung biopsy. The Sarcoid was in flare but something else was going on. This time I didn’t tell my family. I was calm and decided to tell one friend about the biopsy because I had to have a ride home. I didn’t want to ring the alarm and scare everyone although they knew I had been coughing ferociously.


That brisk April morning in 2006, I was at peace as I went in for my biopsy. This time they had to cut my throat and it would leave a scar.  I had prayed and God’s will would be done. When the doctor came into my room later that evening, the look on his face told me to brace myself. He spoke with a soft, gentle voice as he showed me the pictures and then pointed out the carcinoid tumor…I had lung cancer. They caught it early, so early that they had to wait a few months to do the surgery to ensure that they get it all. One lone tear fell down my cheeks as I assured him I would be okay. I have a great support system and I have Faith that this too shall pass.


I told my family in the peace that surrounded me, some days I didn’t even understand the peace but God had already assured me that I would make it through. I could see my children trying to be strong while it was rough on my mom. My family and friends grew closer as we prepared for the surgery. Behind the scenes, I still made sure everything was in order just in case God decided He wanted to bring me home after all.


I had prayer warriors everywhere, My mom was leading the pack on the home front with my aunts and great aunts while my church was lifting me up as well. In the months following the diagnosis I went from a sized 14/16 to a size 4. I was back to my high school size and as much as I wanted to lose weight…this wasn’t healthy. It didn’t look good to me at all! I had cut my hair all off just to save myself the headache of it falling out. So I was bald and small, those hips and that onion that seemed to make grown men cry were now gone. Who would’ve thought it? I had never had a flat, pancake behind but there I was with one! I know, I know, you are probably thinking this girl has cancer and she talking about her hips and behind. Well, when going through these kinds of traumatic experiences you never know what you will find to distract you…mine just seemed to be my vanity.


66f621fb7e90f0761ba94f7d3f00b84a


http://www.sanjojendayi.com


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Published on July 20, 2015 05:02

July 13, 2015

“Lord, I’m On “E”…Can I Get a Refill…Fulfilled?” Blog Series Part 18

Lord On E *This entry is a part of a continuous series, reading the previous entries will help you follow without missing a beat*


3-Declare Enough is Enough large


I now had a new home with no job to pay for it. I went to social services who said I had to file for unemployment first, so I did. Unemployment held me for a while and when there prognosis wasn’t getting better, I filed for disability and after a few months was awarded disability.


My Cobra Insurance ended and I had just applied for medicare.  I was seeing a rheumatologist and agreed to be a part of a study he was doing on people with Ankylosing Spondylitis because my health insurance was going to expire soon now that I wasn’t working. Just before the study I was rushed to the emergency room with severe chest pains and trouble breathing.  The doctors ran all sorts of test and finally came to me and said, “you need to see an oncologist right away. I’m not saying you have cancer but your x-rays indeed show something has aggressively attacked your liver, lungs and spleen and because you have no health insurance, there is nothing else we can do.” Just like that. No foreplay, no Vaseline…my immediate thought was I’m fucked! My health insurance has expired and it will be awhile until I can get county insurance because everything is in process. I was about to cry but remembered my daughter was with me so I had to hold it together. I felt the “Little Girl Lost” knees buckle so I held her up, wrapped my arms around my daughter who is now crying, took a deep breath and asked, “so what do I do now? How do I get care with no health insurance?” His response was a chilling, “I really don’t know what to tell you ma’am but if it is in fact cancer…it is aggressive and moving rapidly so you need to seek out an oncologist quickly” as he handed me my discharge papers. I remember consoling my daughter reassuring her that I will be fine. In my mind I was screaming, “WHAT IS THIS GOD? NOT NOW, NOT AFTER ALL WE”VE BEEN THROUGH…PLEASE!”


“God will not give you more than you can bear. Just when you feel like your back is breaking…the weight is lifted and you can stand straight again. He knows exactly how much you can carry and you find that you are stronger than you thought. You have also built muscles for the future.”~Sanjo Jendayi


My appointment with the rheumatologist was approaching a few days after this hospital visit and I was a wreck. Crying at night when both my kids were asleep and putting on a happy face during the day. Finally at the doctor’s office and the damn broke. I sat in the waiting room crying my eyes out until the doctor called me to the back and I blubbered out everything they told me in the emergency room. The look of sadness in his eyes penetrated my heart but here was also a hint of hope. He said, “Let me make a call because NIH has a few studies open and although this new news disqualifies you for my study, you may be able to get in with them. They have a long waiting list and it’s a 50/50 chance that you will get on their waiting list. I can’t guarantee anything but pray that they can accept you.” He made the call while I silently prayed and they took my information over the phone and said someone would be in touch with me within the next few weeks.  I thanked him and went home to pray some more. I fought the thoughts that if this was cancer, it could kill me in a few weeks. I fought the thoughts that they would deny me. I began constantly replacing negative thoughts with positive statement, declarations and scripture. I told myself that he who began a good work in me would carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus! (Philippians 1:6).  Every day I said therefore do not worry about tomorrow Desi because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:34) Philippians 4:6 “Desi, do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayers and thanksgiving, present your request to God”, You will live and not die.


At the end of that 1st week, I received a call from NIH Cardoza Branch that I not only was accepted but I had been pushed to the top of the waiting list! My appointment was that following week. I cried tears of joy thanking them, thanking God and flat out thankful!


When I arrived for my appointment everything was on fast forward…they ran test, they asked a million questions about my health history, my families health history. They made me bend, move, stretch. I saw Ophthalmologist, Rheumatologists. I had skin removed from small lesions that was forming on my upper body for testing and finally the pre-diagnosis was in…they believed it was a disease called Sarcoidosis but they had to do a biopsy to be certain. They scheduled me for a Bronchoscopy, a less invasive biopsy where they would go in through my mouth, look at my lungs and cut some tissue from my lungs for testing. I remember telling myself, “Just think healthy thoughts, keep seeing yourself completely healthy despite what is going on physically.”


www,sanjojendayi.com


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Published on July 13, 2015 06:06

July 10, 2015

My 9yrs Cancer-Free Celebration Begins TODAY with a $0.99 cents download until midnight tomorrow!

cancer_freeIt’s My Cancerversary and I’m praying for a cancer-free world!!


On Saturday, July 11th I will be celebrating 9yrs cancer-FREE! To commemorate this momentous occassion, I am giving away my e-book, Girl, Get Empty for only .99 cents beginning TODAY & ending at 11:59pm Saturday, July 11th on Amazon.com. I wrote this book in seven days while in the hospital with a Transient Ischemic Attack (T.I.A.). My goal is to encourage women with a gentle reminder to empty yourself of all the gifts, talents & love that you have been blessed with in this lifetime…because time waits for no one.


If you feel this isn’t for you, please gift a woman in your life with this very inexpensive, life-changing short book. I have been told by men that this book is NOT just for women because they too were encouraged to live life to its fullest through Girl, Get Empty! Feel free to share this and let’s celebrate life together!


SJ1Feel free to check out my website and be sure to mosey on over to my listen2myheartspeak blog to read what speaks to you! You can also take a peek at our (my daughter & I) Adorn Me Goddess Handmade Jewelry all from my website!

http://www.sanjojendayi.com


Girl Get Empty-Front CoverIn this witty and insightful book, Sanjo Jendayi shows you how to go beyond merely existing to dream walking and living God’s purpose for your life. She shares small “pearls of wisdom” on how to release all the anger, fear, complacency and even passivity that’s holding your ideas hostage.


“Girl, Get Empty” is about persistence, creating a pathway to strive for your dreams and maximize your full potential by allowing God to put HIS plan into action. It is about leaving no ROCK unturned. It is about unselfishly unleashing all that God has placed in you to share with the world. It is about loving oneself. It is about being SIGNIFICANT!


Download to your smartphone, computer, laptop, tablet, etc…

http://amzn.com/B007KAE0SQ


Copyright © 2015 Sanjo Jendayi, All rights reserved.


Our emailing address is:

[email protected]


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Published on July 10, 2015 04:18

July 8, 2015

Help Me Celebrate 9yrs Cancer-FREE!

cancer-free-trans-finalIt’s My Cancerversary!


On Saturday, July 11th I will be celebrating 9yrs cancer-FREE! To commemorate this momentous occassion, I am giving away my e-book, Girl, Get Empty for only .99 cents beginning 8am Friday, July 10th & ending at 11:59pm Saturday, July 12th on Amazon.com. I wrote this book in seven days while in the hospital with a Transient Ischemic Attack (T.I.A.). My goal is to encourage women with a gentle reminder to empty yourself of all the gifts, talents & love that you have been blessed with in this lifetime…because time waits for no one.


If you feel this isn’t for you, please gift a woman in your life with this very inexpensive, life-changing short book. I have been told by men that this book is NOT just for women because they too were encouraged to live life to its fullest through Girl, Get Empty! Feel free to share this and let’s celebrate life together!


SJ1Feel free to check out my website and be sure to mosey on over to my listen2myheartspeak blog to read what speaks to you! You can also take a peek at our (my daughter & I) Adorn Me Goddess Handmade Jewelry all from my website!

http://www.sanjojendayi.com


Girl Get Empty-Front CoverIn this witty and insightful book, Sanjo Jendayi shows you how to go beyond merely existing to dream walking and living God’s purpose for your life. She shares small “pearls of wisdom” on how to release all the anger, fear, complacency and even passivity that’s holding your ideas hostage.


“Girl, Get Empty” is about persistence, creating a pathway to strive for your dreams and maximize your full potential by allowing God to put HIS plan into action. It is about leaving no ROCK unturned. It is about unselfishly unleashing all that God has placed in you to share with the world. It is about loving oneself. It is about being SIGNIFICANT!


Download to your smartphone, computer, laptop, tablet, etc…

http://amzn.com/B007KAE0SQ


Copyright © 2015 Sanjo Jendayi, All rights reserved.


Our emailing address is:

[email protected]


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Published on July 08, 2015 03:00

July 5, 2015

“Lord, I’m On “E”…Can I Get a Refill…Fulfilled?” Blog Series Part 17

Lord On E *This entry is a part of a continuous series, reading the previous entries will help you follow without missing a beat*


3-Declare Enough is Enough


health_is_like_moneyI stated in previous blogs about my health and now is as good a time as any to elaborate a little more on that since it was in these same 10yrs that I received a big “aha” about my health.


In 2001, my back pain was severe and the episodes were lasting longer. I was always in pain but one day my eyes turned blood shot red, I suddenly lost my hearing and my equilibrium was totally off! Doctors were running a myriad of tests to find out what was happening in my body. It’s a scary feeling to go from knowing sound and clarity to only hearing sound not being able to make out words or anything with clarity.


I went to several specialists, even spent time back and forth at John’s Hopkins Hospital until they finally diagnosed me with Ankylosing Spondylitis: Ankylosing spondylitis is a long-term type of arthritis. It affects the bones and joints at the base of the spine where it connects with the pelvis. These joints become swollen and inflamed. Over time, the affected spinal bones join together. and Chronic Iridocylitis:  inflammation of the iris and ciliary body. I had a systemic disease that was affecting several things at once. They prescribed a large dose of steroids which blew me up 30lbs in 7 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My hearing came back 100% in my right ear but my left ear only returned about 35% so things still weren’t that clear. I was happy about my hearing improving but I didn’t know what to do with this woman that was now staring back in the mirror 30lbs heavier. Let me be the1st to tell you that is a therapy session in itself. Yes, it may be vain but the way I was feeling was I just skipped several clothing sizes in 7 days and didn’t even have the benefit of enjoying the food to get there! I was not happy that I had to expend money that I did not have to buy new clothes because the weight didn’t go away as quickly. It was depressing. Psychologically, when you are dealing with serious health issues that are affecting your body in strange ways, you feel like you have no control. I felt like my body was doing its own thing without permission and I was sick with it and of it. From the outside looking in, it may sound like mere vanity but it was much deeper than that, it was a sinking feeling of loss. Loss of normal mobility; loss of normal activities; loss of control of MY body. A new set of limitations were being imposed on me and it made me sad. Not to mention running into people who acted like I didn’t have a mirror and would say, girl…you’ve gained some weight! You eating good, huh? It took everything that was God in me not to slap them into tomorrow. I would smile and charmingly say, “no hunny it’s P.I.S.S. (Post Illness Stress Syndrome) and some have been known to just snap on insensitive people and get away with their actions. Have a good day.” Taming my tongue is a work in progress.


The treatment for my pain with the AS was trial and error until we could find a medication that actually worked. I mean I was on muscle relaxants, all kinds of narcotics and none of them seemed to stabilize the pain; so pain became a constant companion of mine.


We were living in an apartment at the onset of this medical scare until it rained really badly one day and water began flooding my bedroom closet, hallway and kitchen area. My landlord released me from my lease and my children and I moved in with my mother temporarily.


I had just purchased my first home and I was excited because after much research, I found that as a GSA certified Special Police Officer I was eligible for the Officer Next Door Program to purchase a home in an area that they were trying to re-build for 50% OFF THE MARKET PRICE! I did everything myself without a Real Estate Agent and once I went to settlement the repairs had to be done on my foreclosure home.


I was still sick but in May of 2001, my children and I moved into our very own single family home! I was able to give my children a backyard to play in and it was huge! My mortgage was only $840 a month (less than I was paying in rent and my kids had their own rooms!


Everything was good for one month then my contract ended at the same time my health began declining again.  My pain was back with a vengeance and my doctors said I could no longer work. I took the cobra plan to cover my health for awhile after leaving work. I began steady visits to the doctor.


http://www.sanjojendayi.com


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Published on July 05, 2015 23:49

June 29, 2015

“Lord, I’m On “E”…Can I Get a Refill…Fulfilled?” Blog Series Part 16

Lord On E *This entry is a part of a continuous series, reading the previous entries will help you follow without missing a beat*


3-Declare Enough is Enough


Fathers-Day-Quotes-missing-daddy-quotesI pulled up to my house giddy! I went into the house full of smiles and told my son and daughter that my father was on his way back. When he pulled up, I swear I skipped outside and I went straight into his arms and held tight. (“Little Girl Lost” would not let go, the muck and mire, all of the weeds began to slowly disappear and a few flowers bloomed. I saw a butterfly flitting about her head. She opened her eyes, looked me in mine and said, “You can call me D”) I let my father go and just looked at him smiling. The first thing I noticed was the dot in his eye like mine. I passed that dot/mole onto both of my children. I noticed his mannerisms were similar to mine.


He said I look just like my mother and asked about her well being. I asked how he found me and he had someone he knew find me. He said when she found me; she told him about my books and said she doesn’t look like she needs you. How wrong she was. He was the part of me I needed to know. He was the missing puzzle piece and everyone knows you need each and every piece to complete the puzzle. Since then I have met my brothers and sister, my nieces and a hosts of aunts, uncles and cousins. I have had dinners with my dad and my brother and sister and it all feels so special.  I smile as I type this because I have been blessed with not one but two dads and I am already envisioning them BOTH walking me down the aisle at my wedding when God blesses me with my husband. Guess what? I never wanted a wedding (church and pomp & stance) per se, but whatever I do…I know I want both of my dads there!


I could go on & on but I will sum this portion up with this: When we decide enough is enough and allow God to work in us and through us…doors begin to open, our circles widen and our lives begin to get fuller. God has a way of sending people into your life who can see in you what you cannot yet see; who can speak life into you and guide you through. These “troops” became my Earth Angels in so many ways. Your job is to pay it forward to keep energy flowing.


 www.sanjojendayi.com


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Published on June 29, 2015 05:25

June 22, 2015

“Lord, I’m On “E”…Can I Get a Refill…Fulfilled?” Blog Series Part 15

Lord On E *This entry is a part of a continuous series, reading the previous entries will help you follow without missing a beat*


3-Declare Enough is Enough


10462544_1507646826119541_5081615629838142569_nIt was a beautiful brisk day in February, 2011 and I had just finished performing poetry at a church in Silver Spring, MD. I was in my car on my way home when I received a call from my teenage son. The conversation went like this:


Mike: “Ma, a man just came by the house looking for you.”


Me: “What man”


Mike: “He was driving a dark blue Cadillac and he left his number for you; he said his name was Larry Hawkins.”


Everything stopped. I think I stopped breathing momentarily. Cars ceased to move past me, I could no longer hear my son talking…I had to pull over. Where is the next exit? I have to pull over. Safely in the parking lot of a gas station, it felt like time had stood still. I caught my breath, breathe in deeply and exhale and I can hear my son…


Mike: “Ma, Ma, are you ok? Ma, are you there.


Me: “Baby, did you say he said his name was Larry Hawkins?”


Mike: “Yes, why? Who is he?


Me: (Laughing) “Baby, that’s my father! You were talking to your grandfather!”


Mike: “Nahhhhhh! For real ma? (laughing) For real? Stop playing.”


Me: “Yes, oh my God! What does he look like? What did he say? Where is the number?


Mike: “Slow down ma. (Laughing) He’s dark-skinned about my height and he asked for Deserie Johnson. When I said you were not home, he said tell her Larry Hawkins came by and he wrote his number down for you to call him.”


Me: “Wow, thank you baby!”


I hung up from my son with my heart racing, my fingers trembled as I dialed the number. His voice mail…I fumble through leaving a message that went something like this: “Hi, this is Deserie Johnson. My son said you were looking for me and if you are indeed Larry Hawkins, that means I am leaving a message for my, my father. Please call me back” but before I could leave my number, my other line was beeping…it was him!


Me: “Hello”


Him: “Hello to you”


Little Girl Lost”: “Is this my father?”


Him: “Yes it is, how are you?”


Me: (tears falling down my cheeks. Hold it together girl…just talk, don’t let your voice crack)


Little Girl Lost”: “OMG! How did you find me? Where are you? I’m on my way home!”


Him: (relief in his voice) “I will turn around and meet you there.”


Words cannot explain how in that moment, nothing else mattered. “Little Girl Lost” and I were both feeling the same feelings at once: Happiness, Joy, Excitement and an overwhelming love. My father found me! No, I don’t think you understand. I had searched for my father for years. I had always felt a part of me was missing. I needed to know the other part of my DNA. What parts of me do I get from him? My searches always turned up null and void. About 10 years ago, I wrote him what started out as an angry letter but ended in forgiveness. I ripped it up and let it go. So for my father to find me meant he wanted me.


 http://www.sanjojendayi.com


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Published on June 22, 2015 04:34

June 8, 2015

“Lord, I’m On “E”…Can I Get a Refill…Fulfilled?” Blog Series Part 13

Lord On E *This entry is a part of a continuous series, reading the previous entries will help you follow without missing a beat*


3-Declare Enough is Enough



Working at the IRS was very fruitful for me because I met most of my inner circle there…the two aforementioned and these two as well. Roman Davis came on the scene and we had an instant friendship like kindred spirits. Turned out we shared the same birthday and his daughter was also born on our birthday. We worked together and would sing songs while working; laughing the entire time. He was the third man to befriend me and love me on a platonic level. If you are wondering, yes I kept count because this is after sleeping with over 140 men and some women. After working with men who said they wanted to help with my business only to come on to me before business could even be discussed. So yes, I kept count of the REAL, GENUINE men that entered my life!


Valeria Armstrong was the woman to teach me what friendship was all about. Out of all the posts in the IRS, she came to mine to ask about working as a guard because she worked in the daycare and was looking for a change. I wasn’t well liked at the IRS by most of my female co-workers partly because of a lot of rumors and partly because I would flirt and do petty stuff to feed into the rumors since they were already talking and making up stories. Val did not give those rumors a second thought, she saw beyond my mask and befriended me which intrigued me and I began to learn a lot about trust, loyalty and true friendship through her. She gives unselfishly and loves genuinely. I hadn’t known much about that prior to her because I never had many women friends. I preferred to be around men. I didn’t grow up seeing women friendships…my grandmother didn’t really have them and neither did my mom.


My inner circle was beginning to fill voids that I hadn’t realized existed. No man is an island and we all need each other to survive. My “troops” and their love helps me fight the war inside and outside of me. Friendships I previously had were really just surface because I had not yet learned how to really be a friend. I hurt a few and suffered some hurts along the way.


Sonja Davis came into my life through another friend that ironically is no longer in my life. She and I attended the same church for years but had never met. I was introduced to Sonja a few weeks before being diagnosed with cancer and I could not believe how this woman who barely knew me stepped right in and began cooking dinner for my kids and taking it to them, visiting me in the hospital and everything.


Roman kept telling me I needed to meet this woman named Nichole because we would hit it off. I’m leaving church one Sunday and Nichole and I bump into each other in the parking lot, start talking and find out we are who Roman has been talking to each other about. Ha, God is so funny. Who knew this woman would change my life! She massaged me back to health after cancer, gifted me with Reiki classes so I could learn to heal myself and is an awesome friend!


Charles Drain and the Mad Jazz Poetry family met me at an open mic event and the relationship began as business. He hired me to perform with Mad Jazz but it quickly grew into a friendship as they went through the Cancer with me. Yes, he was the 4th platonic male friend to enter my life. He & his new wife, Shawyn Drain have been on the front lines with me ever since.


LaToya Davis and I worked together at Agriculture and she reminded me of me. Very smart, independent, entrepreneur spirit and head strong. She is younger than me so God allowed her into my life as a mirror reflection and I was able to share some experiences with her and in return she became a great encourager in my life today.


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Published on June 08, 2015 04:19

June 5, 2015

“Lord, I’m On “E”…Can I Get a Refill…Fulfilled?” Blog Series Part 14

Lord On E *This entry is a part of a continuous series, reading the previous entries will help you follow without missing a beat*


3-Declare Enough is Enough


imagesSometimes, people enter your life through family and become family. Such is the case with Delvia Wilder who was married to my cousin and even after their marriage ended…she is STILL family. In fact she and I are currently building a business, ArtSoulistic Creations which is a combination of her canvas art, home accents and my re-designed furniture. This woman has opened up my artistic eye and partnered with me in the wilderness. I am certain we will sit at the mountaintop together!


Working at SMC garnered me a few great friendships as well! Davina McCoy and I barely talked at work until leaving one afternoon, we started talking in the parking lot and I gave her a copy of my CD and the next day we talked some more. At the time, I wasn’t much for hearing about church because by this time I had been burned badly by one and like a scorned lover…I was done. Davina would pick me up for work when I had no car and play gospel music that I would frown upon until my broken heart mended and I realized all churches aren’t bad. LOL. She would be the one by my bedside when sick with tomato soup and gingerale!


My Work Angel who I will leave anonymous since she is still in her position, that many like to vilify because they cannot see the bigger picture. She teaches lessons almost through allegories like the bible…not always direct but very impactful. This woman looked at me at my job interview and said, “You don’t belong here, God has a Greater work for you but I will hire you while He prepares you.” Who does that? I was standing there crying like a kid, thanking God for loving me so much! She wasn’t just like that with me either, oh no! She has helped her staff in ways I have never seen management care. This woman has paid employees rent, bought them professional clothes, bought their children clothes and toys all out of her pocket! I was witness to God at work through her on many occasions and she wouldn’t tell you this but I feel the world needs to know that God still has people in corporate positions to reveal himself through! She treats each staff member as a person not simply an employee!


One day I received an invitation to a Women’s Tea and it listed that they had poetry. I couldn’t afford to go at the time but I said I want to do poetry at this tea and I kept that invitation for years. I would ask people about the tea and the woman hosting it. Three years later I received a call from Carolyn Washington to do poetry at her PossibiliTeas event. I had been referred to her. This was the start of a longstanding relationship both business and personal! In fact it was at one of Carolyn’s events that I met Dr. Jeri Dyson and Elder Vikki Kennedy Johnson who sat down at the table and immediately called me Delicious. I looked at this woman like: did she know me as a dancer? Why is she calling me that? Come to find out later, Ms. Vikki has some Prophet in her and she saw right through me. We were also instant friends. She made me laugh but she was so real! I later asked her to be my mentor and although she has become quite busy…every time we are in one another’s presence I am in learning mode. Jeri is a motivator…every time I see her she says something profound, comical or thought provoking. She’s a loving caring woman who I am so glad crossed my path.


Two years ago, I had the honor of attending Vikki’s GirlTalk Unplugged Getaway and it changed my life! Never before have I spent an entire weekend with women and it’s so real, so loving, so powerful! The venue was beautiful, the setup was awesome, the food was to die for and the lineup of speakers and entertainment were AWE inspiring! Women ROCK!  It was there that I met La Tonia Taylor who has further helped me to re-awaken my JUICY SPIRIT! You would have to check her out to get the full understanding but just know this…I am now walking in all of my feminine pulchritude, spiritually/physically/mentally/emotionally and financially due to my Juicy Spirit Journey!


I also met Dr. Melva Green who has become another mentor to me (never too old to learn) and has taken me higher on an esoteric level. Her energy is so genuine and loving almost surreal…no really, I have never met anyone like her before, she embodies peace. In have met even more beautiful women through connecting with Melva.


All of the people I have mentioned here added to my family of resources, they became my troops. Of course, that is in addition to my mom-Lillian Johnson, my brother-Roscoe Johnson, my sister in love-Chandas Johnson, my cousin-Greg Johnson. Sometimes, we have to reach out to our troops and let them know the battle we are fighting, to enlist their help so we can win the war on our souls. These people feed my Spirit, they believe in me even when I don’t, they pick me up when I am down and most importantly; they speak TRUTH to me without hesitation.


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Published on June 05, 2015 14:27