Jennifer Sivec's Blog, page 14

This is a photo of me when I was in my 20s and all was right with the world. I was free, full of fire, energetic, and hopeful.

It’s many years later and I don’t look quite as young and fresh, but there is a lot about me that is the same. I’m still full of fire, just slower to burn someone with it. I have two young children who keep me full of energy, but I tire a lot easier now and rest when I need to. I don’t know how hopeful I am. Some days I wake up full of hope and other days I’m convinced that the world is a doomed and evil place. But then I look into my children’s faces and I suddenly can find my hope again. It’s just not resting so readily on the surface as it once did.

I love this picture of me. It’s taken with my niece, who I adore, and it reminds me of who I was and who I still aspire to be. That girl in the picture is still alive and well. She’s just a little bit older, and a little less naive. But she’s thankful and wiser, and that’s just fine with me.

The beautiful thing about writing is that you get to meet so many wonderfully talented people who share your love of words and telling stories. Blogging has been a wonderful experience for me and I have enjoyed it tremendously.

The best part has been reading so many amazing blogs and meeting people who have so much to share. My 5 favorite blogs have been:

http://khmazzola.wordpress.com/

Kristen is a very sweet, generous writer who shares her work and the work of others with the world. Her blog is both fun and inspiring and reflects her passion and love for all things writing.

http://novelgrounds.com/category/books/

Novel Grounds (Megan Gallt) was one of the first Blogs to give this new Author a Spotlight on her blog. Her enthusiasm and support were both encouraging and supportive. It’s a wonderful growing blog that updates almost daily with new books and authors.

http://www.roomwithbooks.com/

This is also a growing blog, which I have come to love and appreciate. Patricia’s (Green) words of encouragement and her positive approach is refreshing. She also wrote a review on Leaving Eva, which was both thorough and definitive which was much appreciated. She has some wonderful books and reviews on her blog which are interesting and enlightening.

http://candysraves.com/

This is a great blog, which much more than books. Candy’s (Beauchamp) chose Leaving Eva out of numerous books on her TBR pile and gave it a very honest, frank review. I appreciated that she gave me her true opinion, which was positive with some much needed constructive criticism, which I have since applied. I was drawn to her website because she’s a busy mom who passionately shares her opinion about whatever she chooses, and makes no bones about the fact that it’s her website, her opinion.

http://crystalsmanyreviews.blogspot.com/?zx=227046bb6ab95d38

Crystal Marie gave me one of my first reviews, and I loved her honesty as well. Her blog has grown tremendously, and I love following her on Facebook and reading her reviews. She reviews different genres and her reviews are funny and fresh. I’ve really enjoyed reading her work.

There are so many wonderful writers and reviewers. I also love:

http://authortlgray.wordpress.com/

This blog is imaginative and thought provoking. I’ve enjoyed every blog I have read here.

AND

http://projectlighttolife.wordpress.com/

SImply put, this blog is inspiring and beautiful! A great read when you are feeling low in life.

…or maybe it’s just MY little boys.

…or maybe it’s just MY little boys.

I wanted to share my new cover with you for Losing Eva, designed by Stacy Ketcham!! If you go to the Coming Soon Page, you’ll see the synopsis. Losing Eva is the sequel to Leaving Eva and will be release at the end of October!! I hope you enjoy it!

My Favorite Childhood Book… Was a huge hardcover book of fairy tales. It had a countless number of fairtytales in it with beautiful illustrations that captured my imagination.

I remember reading that book repeatedly, savoring every story. The story that sticks out in my mind the most is “the Little Match Girl”, about a poor little girl who only had matches to sell for food and shelter. In the end, the little girl freezes to death in the brutal winter snow. But before she goes, she lights her last match to see her Mother; at least that is how I’ve always remembered it. I’ve always been drawn to sad stories.

I’ve tried to find that book over the years, but like many things that disappear from your childhood, it’s gone. But the stories remain with me. There were so many beautiful stories of love, loss, and hope that enthralled me and inspired me, even as a child.

I love all types of stories and the wonderful, vivid imaginations of those who create them! I realize now that I’ve always sought them out and found shelter in them. I’m unbelievably happy to have rediscovered my love for a beautiful story. And I’m thankful for those who share them every day!

My Dream Job…

That’s a tough one.

When I was about 8, I was on TV and they asked me what I wanted to be. My answer, earnest and sincere, was that I wanted to be an astronomer. Now,I’ll admit… I was pandering to the cameras. I was answering in response to a News story about my school’s gigantic IMAX Dome where they showed movies about going into space. In reality, I’m just not smart enough to be an astronomer, and I’m sure I knew that even then.

I’ve wanted to be an actress, a singer, a teacher, and a journalist. I think I even wanted to be a bus driver at some point. I definitely wanted to be one of Charlie’s Angels.

I always knew that I wanted to be a writer, even when I didn’t know. I was always drawn to The Story, whether in reality or fantasy. Good or bad. And I have usually liked people, and liked being of service to them, which is why I fit so well in the service industry.

In reality, I really love my life, and love my job. I get to work with amazing, funny, smart people every day. I’m not stuck in an office cubicle, I get to use my brain, fix problems, and teach and develop people, which I’ve also always loved. I’m also a boss, which fits in my nature because I’m naturally bossy (ask anyone whose known me since I was five). So aside from going into space, I’ve gotten to use a lot of my talents for good. I even got to write a book, and have now finished my second book.

I may not have dreamed of the job that I have, but I am fortunate that I love the job that I have and the life that I have. I not going to lie, I would still love to be one of Charlie’s Angels, but I think that ship has sailed.

Brynn heard a noise. She turned from the monitor, and saw Adam racing into the room. His thick brown hair was disheveled and his beautiful blue eyes the color of the sea, wide with distress. “Brynn, you’re awake!” he said, his voice full of concern. Brynn never tired of hearing him talk. She loved his voice and everything about him. To think that she nearly lost him forever still chilled her to the bone. Living life without him in it for those long months was the worst time of her life. Even thinking about it made her want to cry, and she pushed the memory out of her mind. She knew that if she thought about it, she would remain in a dark mood for the rest of the day. And there were too many other things to with which to contend.

Brynn couldn’t blame Adam for leaving. She had inexplicably withdrawn her love, leaving him alone even after he had always taken care of her. She hadn’t left him with much of a choice.

“You’ve abandoned me, Brynn!” Adam would say to her time and time again in frustration. “You won’t even discuss having a family with me! You just wallow! If I had known that this is who you would become when I married you…” Adam never finished the sentence, but Brynn knew that he would never have married her in the first place.

They fell in love at 15, and Adam was the only person to teach Brynn how to live, to laugh, and to smile. Even though Adam knew she had endured more than any one person should have, he wanted Brynn to want to be happy, to be happy with him. And as much as he loved her, he needed her to love him too.

Adam needed her to let him love her, but Brynn refused, so he left.

Those months without him were hell.

Now Brynn knew what life would be like without him, and she was never going to lose him again. Adam came back after he left, love finally winning out over the anger and confusion.

Brynn sometimes wondered whether he would have come back if Rose hadn’t died. She knew it didn’t matter because her adopted mother did die, and Adam did come back and she chastised herself for trying to over think it.

But it wasn’t an easy road for either of them, and they worked through much in the past year and a half since he moved home.

“I’m never leaving you again Brynn,” Adam would say to her repeatedly. “I’ll never hurt you again.”

“I want to believe you Adam,” Brynn was stubborn, and her heart had a hard time letting go of the fear. “I want to, but I just don’t.” Adam would try to hold her, and Brynn would stiffen up, pushing him away with her fear.

“Stop pushing me away. You don’t have to push me away anymore.” Adam won out, and he was able to hold her close, feeling her heart beating in her chest from the anxiety. “I’ll never abandon you.”

Brynn always felt herself give into the deep, low tone of his voice that she loved so much. She allowed herself to be enveloped in his firm, sturdy arms, but a tiny part of her still wanted to shrink away. She wondered if she would ever stop fighting the happiness he gave her.

She had experienced so much loss in life that she had come to expect it. First, her birth parents, Stacy, Rose, and Adam. Brynn finally decided that she would give herself permission to accept Adam’s love, no matter how long she had it.

When she gave in, there was finally peace

I’m on a mission to appreciate my life. By nature, I’m not the most appreciative person. I don’t know if many of us are. But I think that I have forgotten the most important lesson in life, the one that we learn at a very young age. To share.

There have been a lot of great things that have happened to me this year…

The obvious choice may be that I got to self publish my first novel, knocking a HUGE item off of my bucket list.

But really the best thing has been that I’ve rediscovered myself and reconnected with a lot of wonderful people as a result of my writing. I don’t think that it’s the writing that has been the reason. But the writing seems to encourage curiosity and sharing, for myself and for others. I used to be a pretty open person, but as I’ve gotten older life has beat me up just like it does to many. So I’ve closed up, closed down, and forgotten what it’s like to share. I forgot how to experience the joy of meeting new people and opening up my world, sharing my writing, my thoughts, and ideas with others.

I love writing. I always have. To be able to do it, and share it now is an amazing, wonderful thing.

I’m short and I’m over 40, and I love food.

The fact that I am short and over 40 shouldn’t matter, but when 2 lbs looks like 10 lbs, it makes all of the difference in the world. So here are the top 10 foods that I love, that don’t always love me:

1. I loooooooooooove Ice Cream. I’ve recently discovered Pierre’s chocolate sorbet, and I totally love it. Its a lower fat option for Ice Cream, and doesn’t make me feel as guilty!

2. Seafood~Salmon, Tuna, Swordfish, Halibut, Shellfish of any kind…

3. Mashed potatoes~they just make me happy!

4. Sushi~It’s good and I feel healthy when I eat it.

5. Chocolate~Specifically Peanut M&Ms. I could eat a thousand of them at one time. They’re just GOOD.

6. Pasta~Lasagna, Fettucini Alfredo, Seafood Pasta, Spaghetti, Tortellini

7. Chinese food~ YUM. I always feel icky the day after, but it’s definitely worth it.

8. Cheesecake-There is nothing wrong with cheesecake! Nothing at all.

9. Pierogies~again, they just make me happy.

10. Steak~Medium rare. Melt in your mouth gooooooood.

Now I also love vegetables~brussel sprouts, broccoli, fresh green beans, but I’m not going to lie~The foods that I’ve listed are amazing and wonderful and I would eat them every day if I could!!