Alan C. Fox's Blog, page 2

“Patterns Persist” is the title of Chapter 7 of my New York Times bestselling book People Tools.  It’s my favorite chapter, and is also the one that many readers find most useful, and they often share examples from their own lives.

The idea is simple. If you find yourself, or anyone else in your life, repeating a behavior, expect that pattern to continue.

When is this particular People Tool helpful?  Every day.

For example, when I was twenty-one my father said to me, “Alan, when you marry, do...

This is the title of a popular song from a number of years ago. If you look online you can watch Bobby McFerrin’s Official Video. It has had more than 145 million views. That’s a lot of people being happy, or at least wanting to be.

I am a pragmatist, which means I’m always thinking about practical ways to implement good ideas.

For many years I have tried to live accordingly. Whenever I start to worry about something, I ask myself the question:  “Can I do anything about this right now?”  If I...

The way I heard the story years ago is that members of the national French legislature were debating a law that would have treated men and women differently.  The arguments were hot and heavy, with one legislator contending that men and women are essentially the same and should be treated as such.  When his opponent insisted that men and women were different, a voice from the back of the chamber spoke up loudly to declare, “Vive La Différence!”

In any relationship I used to assume that the ot...

I arrived home from work, a little early (but not by much). Daveen was sitting on the family room sofa, a stack of papers before her.  It seemed like the same stack she had worked on for thirty-five years.

I said “Hi”.  We embraced. She sniffled a bit.

“I brought my papers down to work on them here, so I could be near Lil Mama,” she said, “but I couldn’t do much with tears in my eyes.”

“I know. I’m so sorry.”

“I called the place where our daughter took her dog when it was time to put her down...

Cristina, my dad’s caregiver for several years, was thoroughly cleaning his house recently when she made a surprising discovery. My wife received her frantic call.

“There’s a gun under the bed!  I think it’s loaded!  What should I do?!”

“Call John. Give the gun to John.”

John lives nearby, is married to my first wife, and has a gun collection.   I’ve been told John never hunts, but for many years he has enjoyed practicing at a gun range every week.

John came by to pick up the shotgun.  My dad...

Now that I’m not watching news on TV, there are only a few programs I record so I can view them at my leisure — and fast forward through the commercials.  One of those is America’s Got Talent.  And, indeed, America does have a great deal of talent. In the preliminary rounds, however, the talent ranges from OMG entrancing to, shall we say, erratic.  And there is always Simon Cowell, creator of the show and one of the four judges, who often adds a cynical edge to the proceedings.

Midway through...

During the six weeks of recovery from my first surgery I stayed home and watched television, mostly cable news.  During the six weeks since my second surgery I‘ve also stayed home, but with a twist.  For the first time in many years I’ve sworn off TV news and, frankly, it’s been a relief.

That does, of course, leave Netflix.  My problem with Netflix is that I find most of their offerings slow, superficial, or both.  I’ve polled my friends, asking what they like when they binge on recorded TV...

That is the title of a lovely folk song written in the 1950’s by Pete Seeger (Grammy Hall of Fame).  It must be outstanding because it later became a hit for both The Kingston Trio in 1958 and Peter, Paul, and Mary in 1962. The lyrics and tune entered my head as I awoke this morning, evoking those days, many years ago, when I was a teenager and folk songs meant a lot to me.  Apparently this one still does.

The lyrics go full circle.  The flowers are picked by young girls who, in turn have tak...

During the past few years I’ve been recording hour-long episodes of the popular TV series Shark Tank.  Since this is their tenth season, I have more than one hundred shows ready to go whenever I’m struck by the impulse to use my elliptical machine for a morning workout.  But since this show has now consumed about 80% of my recording capacity, I have dug into the backlog and begun to view episodes from the comfort and convenience of my couch, while recovering from neck surgery.

On each episode...

Many years ago I arrived to a funeral twelve minutes late hoping I could quietly take a seat in the back. But when I walked into the chapel it was empty. I inquired, and was told that a fight had broken out among members of the family and the service had been, shall we say, short.

I’ve also attended several funerals at which the clergyman began with, “I never had the good fortune to meet the departed, but he (or she) was…”

Somehow, I find that disrespectful.

For my father’s funeral last Tuesd...