Alan C. Fox's Blog

During the past week two friends mentioned to me on separate occasions that one of their favorite chapters in my original People Tools book (still selling well on Amazon) is “The 80% Solution.”

The gist of that chapter is this: if someone in your life, or in your job or your home, meets at least 80% of your needs, then don’t look any further.  You don’t need to spend your precious time looking for someone who might be a little bit better. 

This particular People Tool has served me well. In...

We can’t control everything that happens to us.  We might encounter unexpected health problems (such as my two surgeries earlier this year), the death of a loved one (my dad last May), or the dissolution of a close relationship (for me, early in 2018).  

We can, however, control our reaction to what happens.  I choose to respond with thanks and optimism, especially to a continuing problem or great disappointment.  I’m not saying that a positive response is always easy.  It’s not.  I strongl...

Years ago I studied with a psychiatrist who suggested that whenever we part from someone we love we should be complete. If we never see them again we will have said everything we needed to say, and heard everything we needed to hear.  Dad, I think you and I did that quite well with each other.

You died unexpectedly, a few days after each of us had been released from different hospitals. I had been in and out of the hospital for almost two months. The last time we saw each other we parted, as...

I wish I had written that line myself, but it has already been attributed to Marcel Proust.  Regardless, it resonates with me.

Each of us is attracted to pleasure.  We enjoy connecting with friends, eating our favorite meals, or spending time with family. We return to those activities that bring us pleasure such as camping, watching a movie, playing chess, or arguing in court.

But if we suddenly experience excruciating pain while relishing our favorite dinner, we will either call 911, or imm...

Recently, I arrived at the airport early for an eight-hour flight. Even though I wasn’t particularly hungry, I bought a large burrito and ate every bite.  As I sat waiting to board the airplane I wondered why I did that.

I soon realized that, because I didn’t trust the airline food, I was “pre-eating.” I also realized that this is part of a bigger pattern in my life. I often eat “a little more” for breakfast, just in case lunch is late, and “a little more” for lunch because dinner is such a...

Raise your hand if you have ever tried to buy anything online, or in a store for that matter, and given up because the line was too long or the process too difficult.

I see a lot of raised hands.  And yet, wasn’t that the initial secret of Amazon’s success?  It was fast, convenient and easy to use.

I still remember sitting in a poetry class in the late 1990’s when the teacher asked us to buy books by a variety of poets.  “Some of these books may be difficult to find,” he said.

“Why not order...

When I was ten years old my mother picked me up early from a friend’s birthday party.

“Dad has to work late,” she said, “and we bought two tickets to a musical so I’m taking you.”

I didn’t know what a musical was, but I was happy to be going somewhere with my mom.

Our seats were in the last row of the gallery, far above the stage.  Even at that distance, I was transfixed by Mary Martin and Ezio Pinza performing Rodgers and Hammerstein’s South Pacific.

One of the songs. “Happy Talk,” resonates...

Years ago I was privileged to study for a week with Paul Ware, a psychiatrist who lived in Shreveport, Louisiana and specialized in treating adolescents. At the end of the workshop each of his students were given the opportunity to talk with Paul privately for fifty minutes.

I don’t really remember what we talked about when it was my turn. But when we were finished Paul said, “Is there anything else?”

I noted we only had four minutes left.  “There’s not much we can do in four minutes.”

Paul d...

I’m definitely not talking here about the actual length of your life as measured in “clock time”. I’m talking about the subjective time you spend on earth.

When I was young and school was out for the summer my mother used to take my brother and me to many places we loved (even though she didn’t like to drive). One of our favorites was the local zoo. I was entranced, and could spend hours watching the several enormous elephants, the many chattering monkeys, or one of the sleek tigers tearing a...

Will Rogers said that investing in the stock market is easy.  You buy a stock and when it goes up you sell at a profit. If the stock doesn’t go up, don’t buy it in the first place.

Drum roll, please.

On a more realistic note, I’d like to briefly and simply explain why you should aim to avoid large investment losses.

Suppose you take $10,000 and make five investments of $2,000 each.  At the end of the first year four of your investments have each increased by 15%, which is quite good.  Your to...